I live in quite a small world, here in the North West of England. I’m white, middle class and well into middle age. I’ve barely witnessed any violence and my encounters with the police have been brief and courteous. I’ve never known any real suffering, any significant ill-health and I’ve never gone hungry. I live in warmth and want for nothing, able to indulge my passion, listening to music. I’ve recently mastered Spotify, still buy a physical newspaper and regularly watch the news on terrestrial TV. I’m a very lucky man.
My 23 year old daughter tells me, almost in passing, “Women’s body hair is trending now.”
My world just moved slightly off its natural axis. What the hell is she on about?
Hmmm Tiggs.
Somewhere on the BBC news website I noticed an article about a woman who hadn’t shaved her armpits. Whatever next eh?
That’s interesting. Is it a Brexit thing? When I was young, it was said that French girls didn’t shave their armpits. My girlfriend’s sister had a pen friend who came over to visit. Indeed, her armpits were unshaven and she didn’t wear a bra either. She was incredibly alluring, speaking English with those rolled ‘r’s. Are pen friends still a thing these days?
Body hair aside, me and my mates encountered some French exchange students, along with their hosts, in a park in Barnsley in the early 80s. We got on well with them and met them several times, despite none of us speaking French apart from the odd word here or there. Word spread throughout our school and we became minor celebrities, especially myself who had sort of now got a French girlfriend. Indeed, other schoolmates of ours were prone to turning up at the park for a stroll, keen to spot us attempting our cross channel romancing.
About three weeks into our ‘relationships’, as with everything in Barnsley in the early-mid 80’s, it all came crashing down. I can still remember the moment that one of them turned round to us and uttered the fateful words, “we’re not really French tha knows” in a broad Barnsley accent that would have made Mick McCarthy blush. The next day at school it seemed that every fecker in the building knew, before I had even set foot in the place. I had turned from an international lothario to a world class pillock overnight. The relationship fizzled out and I bumped into Claire (from Stairfoot, not Paris) several years later at college when she greeted me with a smile and all I could say was ‘bonjour!’
None of that is true is it? Unless of course it is and then it might be the best tale of teenage angst I have ever heard
Seconded. It is such an hilarious story I want to believe it anyway.
I wish I could have invented a story like this, but yes, tis all true. They were actually from an area of Barnsley that wasn’t particularly safe for kids from my school to show their faces (@neil-dyson can confirm that an Holgater wasn’t generally made welcome in Ardsley!). In fact, we were pushing our luck being in the park where we used to meet them in the first place. But the last time we ventured down their part of town to meet up with them (after they had come out as being about as French as the chips in MacDonalds) we were chased up the road by the local welcoming committee and dived onto the rather handily timed bus that suddenly appeared beside us. Three of us made the bus quite easily, but this being 1984, my mate carrying the ghetto blaster only just made it.
That makes us sound like something off Boyz ‘n’ the Hood doesn’t it, getting involved in scraps with rival gangs, walking round with our ghetto blaster. Well, we were about as far from a street gang as you could imagine (think The Inbetweeners, but we were all Simon, the awkward, drippy one), and the lad who insisted on carting this ruddy great big cassette player around with him didn’t actually own any cassettes, apart from a blank tape on which he’d recorded the chart rundown. I can’t remember all the songs he had taped, but two I can remember were Careless Whisper and bloody Agadoo!
Did you get close enough to determine if Claire shaved her armpits?
As I recall, the only physical contact between us was holding hands, so I’m afraid I can’t confirm this either way. She was as pretty as a picture though, so I don’t like to think of her with hairy armpits!
“Women’s Body Hair is trending now.”
TMFTL
There are beautiful pics out there of Sophia Loren in her glorious 20s having armpits that would make Captain Caveman reach for the Immac.
She looked gorgeous, didn’t she.
Absolutely.
Where i come from women have always had body hair.
Beards mainly.
Both sexes have vellus hair all over their bodies from childhood. It’s very fine.
Isn’t a beard technically facial rather than body hair?
I thought this had been a thing for years, under the jokier name of Fannyuary. Anyway, each to their own. Though hairy legs on a woman would be a deal breaker for me. Just as well I’m not on the lookout for anyone new.
I can’t see why this is news worthy though. Surely they should just get on with it. #MeMe
It wasn’t the hairiness of women’s bodies that upset my equilibrium but the trending now bit. What does that mean?
People are squeaking about it on Twitter, which tracks what subjects are popular and publishes them as “trends”.
Ah! Bloody Twitter. That and Facebook are a mystery to me. I really don’t understand what they are for, other than making a few Americans unimaginably rich by suckering people into ‘sharing’ their ‘data’.
For a while earlier today this was the ‘most read’ item on the BBC news pages too.
They serve three purposes.
1. They allow one a platform to demonstrate one’s intellectual/moral/social/cultural superiority over other people, who are all morons.
2. They satisfy one’s need/desire for attention.
3. They make staying in touch far more pleasant by eliminating the need for physical or vocal contact.
All jolly good things, imho.
I like to get down and dirty and physical. Plus, my intellectual superiority is so far beyond doubt, it doesn’t need the validation of social meeja.
4. Sharing pictures of their food
5. Sharing cat videos
6. Getting all worked up about an item of ‘news’ that probably isn’t true anyway
7. Getting positive affirmation of your side of the story, after a disagreement with spouse, from people you’ve never met and never will
8. Witch-hunts
9. Falling for surveys and quizzes whose sole intent is to then bombard you with targeted marketing or political propaganda
You may have gathered, I don’t like Facebook/Twitter/Instagram. The wife, however, is glued to them. Drives me mad.
They are but tools, entirely dependent on the user. I use Twitter as a news feed and it’s excellent.
A news feed. Is that the thing that tells you what’s trending now?
No there’s a sort of front page of Twitter which tells you what’s trending. This probably won’t work…
Fascinating.
Why is Guy Fawkes tweeting about Andrew Marr?
Guido Fawkes is the pen name of a Tory blogger who gets breaking news
Tap “hairy” into your search engine and you will find out soon enough.
Into my what?
A child helped me.
The list started with the Merriam-Webster definition. All very medical.
99 Red Balloons……..Nuff Said !
Over 49.5 million views!
Search me – my friends kids are glued to their phones – as I understand it they’re mostly watching other people playing video games or taking selfies and superimposing “cute” animal ears and noses on their faces and swapping gossip about YouTubers and other vacuous people I’ve never heard of and flicking endlessly through meme, after meme after meme on Instragram. I am informed by child-owning pals that the removing body hair is “on trend” for boys and girls these days too – except it seems on the eyebrows which must be as bushy as Dennis Healy.
I don’t understand what’s so engrossing in their phones. I often get a shock when I walk into a room that’s been silent for hours to find a person draped over the couch flicking quietly through their phone.
I own a number of children, now grown up. Occasionally, I notice they’ve done something to the hair on their head but I’ve never had any idea what they do with with the rest of it. How do those parents know? Do they assist in the process?
One of the best parts of getting older is the natural and permanent body hair removal process!
After a lifetime of being part squirrel, I no longer need to go through the annoying and time-consuming procedures of painful removal methods and their stubbly and itchy aftermaths.
Not that I ever did it too often before either; I grew up in the 70s when hair was everywhere and perfectly normal; and unless it’s warm enough to wear a skirt (or I have other reasons to get unwrapped) I’m way too lazy to care.
What other reasons could you possibly have *to get unwrapped*?
These days?
Doctors appointments… 😉
I’m sure your doctor won’t mind if you don’t endure annoying and time-consuming procedures before a consultation.
She is of course referring to Januhairy!
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-46747452
I’m sorry I’ve been gone some time. I decided to see if the Daily Mail website was extolling the virtues of hair, and they are. The problem was the side bar is full of distracting rabbit holes, mostly concerning people I’ve never heard of, but Ollie Mears, somewhat unusually, is displaying some sense; he’s not going to watch Cheryl Cole on that new dance show.
I feel for my work colleague- not only is his wife insisting upon hairuary, or whatever it’s called, but she’s also got them both on dry January. I would’ve thought that the alcohol would have helped soften the blow of hairy legs et al. Still, whatever you get up to in your own home, eah?
Dry Sherry, Dry Gin, Dry Cider…
Drei January – you’re allowed three of everything (all in one glass or intravenous drip)
Dre January. You get to swear over your mates records while flogging shoddy headphones
The F.A. Cup being shite?
I bet that’s trending.
Full marks for the … no, not us!, media … picking as the live games so far …
Tranmere 0, Tottenham 7.
Man. U. 2, Reading 0. (wtf!!!!)
Chelsea 2, Nottm. Forest 0.
Blackpool 0, Arsenal 3.
What a bunch of f****** shite.
Meanwhile …
Accrington Stanley 1, Ipswich Town 0.
Bristol City 1, Huddersfield Town 0.
Derby 2, Southampton 2.
Gillingham 1, Cardiff 0.
And we wonder why the competition has long since been officially pronounced dead?
Just don’t blame the media.
Everton 2 Lincoln 1.
Lincoln’s fans were tremendous and their team gave it a good go. The Everton side wasn’t far off its first choice.
Everton haven’t recovered from the loss at Anfield.
I predicted the Ipswich score a few days ago. At least Ipswich can concentrate on winning a few games without a cup run to distract them. (Bursts into tears)
Don’t win too many games though. It’s only your team keeping my lot of the bottom of the table.
Maybe, a season in League One is what’s needed to re-build confidence resulting in two back-to-back promotions(it worked for Man City and Southampton)
I don’t think you need to worry about Ipswich winning too many games! I am finding some comfort in the Man City story. This is the worst season I can remember. At least when we were humped 9-0 by Man U we were in the top flight. Perhaps someone with vestigial affection for Town and who happens to be a billionaire could swoop in and make it all better again. However, there is a danger that Ipswich will disappear for good.
I genuinely hope that Norwich can maintain their great form and get promoted. I have always liked Norwich and don’t generally buy into “sworn enemy” rubbish.
Not long after the 9-0 defeat to Man United, Barnsley signed your left back from that game, Neil Thompson. We got promoted in his first season, so he got the chance to avenge that defeat when we went to take on Man United. Final score – Man United 7 Barnsley 0. I don’t think Neil Thompson is terribly fond of Old Trafford!
To be fair, Kanchelskis, Beckham and Poborsky could be unplayable on their day.
It was that Giggsy and Scholesy wot did for us, although Andy Cole kept up his record of scoring against us for everyone he plays for. He could line up against us for a Sunday league team and still get a hat-trick, and he’s in his 40s now. Weirdly enough, when we signed his son a few years ago he couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a banjo.
@black-celebration
We are in a bit of a pickle aren’t we? ( and not just because of our keeper ha ha ha ha ha etc) I’m genuinely not surprised in the slightest about yesterday’s result. We are lightweight upfront, devoid of creativity in midfield (partly due to long term injuries) and seem to be prone to catastrophic lapses of concentration at the back. Not a great combination!
A lot of the blame must be placed at Paul Hurst’s door though the owner is coming in for a lot of stick tooLambert is absolved at the moment and is talking a good game though I notice he hasn’t pulled any punched about our defeat.
But I do think we can stay up…and I can’t be bothered to get worked up about Norwich either.