It’s been a few weeks since the good people of the Afterword last threw a few sideways glances at the Brexit progress. So much is happening, that I need your guidance how to react. Hoping for some pithy one-liners to pass off as my own next time the subject comes up.
It really does look like the PM is pushing shit uphill with this. Hence my Dacre-esque play on words in the OP title.
It also seems important that the the EU have ruled that it’s fine if the UK just wanna fuggeddaboudit (their words) and there was also a HoC ruling that the Government has illegally suppressed legal advice that really should be in the public domain. It’s not looking good, is it?
To be fair to May, she has stuck this out much longer than I thought she would. She has a deal which, as comedians have observed, does reflect the will of the people – i.e. not just the 51.8% of them that voted leave. There’s a little bit of remain and a little bit of leave – something for everyone. So what’s tne problem?
In the House, she is blushing hotly and defiantly as she serves up her tomato fruit salad because tomatoes are fruit, actually, so actually, it is a GREAT fruit salad and it WILL be delicious. All sides of the house are going “urghh…this gross” and reaching for the Laughing Cow cheese triangles they brought from home – or should we say “la vache qui rit”? We can say either because it doesn’t matter.
I think the deal will be defeated and she will bask in the glow of having given it her best shot. And then resign. Some hapless mug we’ve never heard of will take over and the only option will be a people’s vote in the hope that Remain prevails. Soon enough, there will be a General Election and the hapless mug will win because he’s less scary than Corbyn, who had his chance – but fluffed it.
Anyway – what’s your take on all this? My political predictions are usually wrong.
Lodestone of Wrongness says
Anyone who says he knows what’s going to happen with Brexit today let alone the next few weeks is even more deluded than Theresa May
Moose the Mooche says
By some distance, Hapless Mug is the most inspiring political figure of our time. Roll on his/her rightful elevation to the office of Prime Minister, and the many glorious years of stability and prosperity that will follow!
hubert rawlinson says
That’s Sir Hhapless-Mmug first born son of the Hhapless-Mmugs of Berkshire.
Vulpes Vulpes says
Hang on, that Laughing Cow “vache” stuff, that’s foreign innit? Worse than that, in fact it’s bloody European! How dare you suggest we eat that filth. Burn the witch!!
Moose the Mooche says
Cows don’t laugh in England. (Wait… isn’t that a VDGG b-side?)
fitterstoke says
“…and neither can l, neither can I-eee-III…”
Gatz says
It is thought massively unlikely that May’s deal will get through the Commons, yesterday’s amendment means that No Deal is massively unlikely (for reasons I won’t pretend to fully understand), although the deal on the table is hugely unpopular and satisfies very few the attempted coup against May failed because 15% of the parliamentary party wouldn’t agree to backing a challenge, and we’re hurtling towards the end of March 2019 with no deal that can be agreed on and little prospect of no deal. Farage along with Johnson, Fox and Raab has run away from the monster he helped create and any new referendum or general election is likely to prove just as inconclusive and divisive as the last one. It’s all going jolly well, isn’t it? Thankfully the latest EU legal advice seems to be that the UK is allowed to just forget the whole thing and walk away whistling, pretending that it never happened.
Moose the Mooche says
Silver lining: the consensus on Newsnight is that the Mogg mob are finished – let’s see how long it is before their marginal no-deal position isn’t enough to guarantee them a prominent place on every political discussion programme on the television. And while we’re on the subject of single-issue no-marks who are always on the telly, UKIP are now so extreme that even Nigel Farage has left. Bye bye, purple pricks!
So it’s not all bad.
Black Celebration says
He cited extremism and Islamaphobia among supporters as reasons for leaving UKIP. With him though, I feel there’s always an angle. He will want to be a public figure for a long time yet – perhaps he is softening his image in order to be accepted into the Conservatives at some point.
Moose the Mooche says
Oh he won’t go away, ever. His angle is possibly to damage UKIP enough for them to actually get rid of the current leader, at which point NF (ha!) rejoins and becomes leader. Again.
Sewer Robot says
Well I, for one, have no wish to live in a world without purple pricks. Bending our bananas was one thing, but ending engorgement?!
I never realised “soft Brexit” was a reference to detumescence…
Moose the Mooche says
What about a hard border? Or, worse still, a backstop?
Twang says
Actually there was a post yesterday… Just sayin’.
Black Celebration says
I see that now – apologies to SteveT…
chiz says
Poor old Theresa’s like a mother whose kids won’t eat their beans on toast and just keep saying that if they were making dinner it’d be roast unicorn every night. While refusing to actually do the cooking themselves, of course. It’s becoming quite cruel, the way both parties have deliberately frustrated her attempts to steer between the rocks, so that when the ship goes down they can say it was all her fault and they’ll make everything better. (Apologies for mixing cuisine / marine metaphors.)
I wish we had an effective opposition to this awful shambles of a government. Shami Chakrabarti was on the radio this morning saying that given the chance Labour would arrange a deal within days, retaining all the benefits of the single market (while also nationalising the utilities). It’s just delusional.
Moose the Mooche says
It’s possible that the EU would have a different attitude to a different U.K. government.
Possible… but vanishingly unlikely.
Twang says
It’s not possible. It wouldn’t make the slightest bit of difference. She’s talking crap.
dwightstrut says
The interesting thing is that if you look at the House of Commons, just about everyone seems to see voting May’s deal down as the means of getting what they want: the hardcore leavers see it as a means to deliver a cleaner Brexit; the remainers as a means of stopping Brexit; and the Labour party as a means of bringing down the government and getting a general election.
Of course, they can’t all get what they want.
Moose the Mooche says
….but if you try sometimes… you get Donald Trump.