“Restore your vinyl collection to its original glory with the Flatten it vinyl record flattening machine. Designed for audiophiles and collectors alike, this device repairs warped records and enhances your listening experience.
Flatten it is designed to restore your warped records with precision and care. It gently and safely flattens your vinyl, improving playback quality by eliminating skips, pops, and distortion. Compatible with all sizes and thicknesses of records, it features premium heated aluminium plates for even heat distribution, ensuring consistent results.
With precise temperature control and a low temperature hysteresis of just 2°C, you can trust that your records are being treated with the utmost attention. The easy-to-use machine boasts a solid aluminium construction, offering durability and long-lasting reliability.
Made in Europe, Flatten it is the perfect solution for vinyl enthusiasts looking to bring their collection back to life.”
Yours for only £749.
I have a large(ish) collection of vinyl records and three of them are warped. I could replace them all for under a tenner.
Perhaps we buy one between us and borrow it occasionally.
I believe some record stores may offer this service.
Two paving slabs in the airing cupboard? I’m told it works.
As a contraceptive?
Or at Cluedo?
I once made an unplayable record kind of playable with an iron and a thick tablecloth.
Doubles as a Breville sandwich toaster.
I do love a toastie. Imagine one 12″ diameter!
I just assumed they released this story six days early by mistake.
Gotta be.
Thirded.
Included someone by mistake* in their Signal group chat.
*Agent @fentonsteve?
“Do not operate in damp or wet locations, such as near to a bathtub, sink, swimming pool or any other similar locations.”
Darn, no use to me then.
*pushes shades back onto bridge of nose, sculls away slowly on inflatable. with cocktail in hand*
I wouldn’t buy anything technical from a bunch of cowboys who don’t even know that P=IV.
Power consumption Max. 120W
Power supply 12V 12A
Gross negligence.
Peak Music Power Output, innit. Like that 2,000W Matsui midi-system from Dixon’s.
I reckon you could McGiver something together with an old George Foreman grill and a couple of table mats and save yourself a few quid.
Too soon….