I was visited by some sneaky and protected badgers last night. They made a right mess of the lawn so if any of you have tips on encouraging them to dig elsewhere i’d be grateful, or failing that you could cheer me up with some musical badger or garden related puns. I’ve added some De La Soul in a link below.
Potholes In My Lawn
Mushroom? Snake?
Not able to be very clever or subtle today – so there’s this:
I think you’ll have to bear the holes as it’s game, sett and match to the badgers.
Some ars*hole of a landowner bulldozed a badger sett very near us, there are still another two on his land. He also cut down mature trees according to the Forestry Commission so I hope the book is well and truly lobbed in his direction.
I think if you put food down for them they’ll not dig for worms in the ground.
I got this mole …
This was my immediate thought too!
Apropos the OP, are you named after a British Army kill squad unpopular with Brian May?
from the Ministry?
Most of those dead badgers you see at the roadside didn’t die there. Or so I’m led to believe. I’d imagine enforcement of any discouraging measures you might consider would be hard to prove.
It was me that initiated the badger thread a while ago, which kind of got sidetracked into other badger related matters. There are a number of recommended solutions –
Bright lights – I’ve tried movement triggered lights, which badgers are supposed to hate. Result, they can really see what they’re doing and carry on.
Citronella – used to keep flies off horses, smells very lemony and is supposed to deter badgers who don’t like the smell, or can’t sniff out the grubs and worms they are after. I’ve used this with some success, but you have to spray it everywhere and it costs a king’s ransom.
Male urine – if you don’t mind diluting your own (or someone else’s) piss and spraying it where badgers come in, they are supposed to sniff it, detect another male’s presence and leg it.
Our neighbourhood badger spends most of his nights trashing my neighbour’s lawn, a situation I’m happy to encourage, as he then leaves mine alone.
Why not just piss in the holes? Give the lemon tree a rest.
Suggestion 2 – ferrets?
Nothing like a deterrent that makes them dig elsewhere 🙂
Perhaps take Ivor Cutler’s advice?
Put up a sign that says “Please Stay Of The Lawn”
I’ve tried Google translate but it doesn’t give an option for badger, otherwise how will they be able to obey the sign.
Sounds like another job for the newly resurrected Dennis Howells (see Reservoir thread)
Feed them. They love peanuts. Less holes and enjoy having them in your garden.
The bright lights deterrent thing definitely does not work. We have an LED flood that they trigger when they come for dinner and they don’t GAF.
This, as per above. Plate of cheapo cat/dog food, scraps from your last pasta dinner, anything half decent and they’ll scoff it instead of tunneling for worms. Badger psychology means that when you forget to feed them they’ll be so pissed off they’ll bugger off elsewhere in search of the same tasty morsels they’ve become used to getting from you (i.e. they will still not dig your lawn for worms). Just keep them thinking you’re an easy touch for grub and enjoy helping them.
On a tangentially related note, what the heck have you got a lawn for? Do you host the local croquet society or something? Grow stuff, for goodness sake, this isn’t Blenheim Palace we’re talking about, I presumptuously assume.
It’s the only bit of the garden that doesn’t need weeding!
(Stern aside from aside: “o yes it does!!”)
Some good tips and videos there. Thanks folks. I tried citronella last night and no more holes were found this morning. I think with that, some wee, some nuts and food, and blasting the garden with the Badger Mushroom Snake song, we could be on to something.
The guy that sang this for ten hours deserves a medal
Probably posthumously awarded.