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PMQ’s, Afterword-style

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So, big Jezza wants us to email him the questions we want the Prime Minister to answer.

Your starter for ten: “Prime Minister, who played to sax solo on Baker Street?”

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Comments

  2. Does the right honorable gentlemen recall the time of Edward Heath, the donkey jacket, the fabulous Morris Marina, inflation at 10%, lurid wallpaper, silly hairstyles and burly men warming their hands around braziers? And would he not agree with Afterworders everywhere that 1971 was indeed the most glorious year?

    • I draw the honorable gentleman’s attention to the recent government white paper setting out the following five proposals.

      11 December 1969 – Thelma, Los Angeles
      13 February 1970 – Fillmore East, NYC
      8 April 1972 – Empire Pool, London
      21 September 1972 – Spectrum, Philadelphia
      24 February 1974 – Winterland, San Francisco

  8. Would the Prime Minister kindly offer his understanding of the New Guinea tribal chanting at the end of Pink Floyd’s Absolutely Curtains, its significance to the denouement of Barbet Schroeder’s 1972 film La Vallee and by extension the implications for the ongoing European migrant crisis

    • (incredulous grin, shaking head) Mr Speaker…the Right Honourable member is quite wrong! “Gonna use my sausage” is NOT the correct lyric to Brass in Pocket! How can we as a nation trust his Government when basic knowledge like this seems to elude him?

      Hyeeer nyarrr huurrr

  10. You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Then who the hell else are you talkin’ to? You talkin’ to me? Well I’m the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?

  12. ‘Thank you Mr. Speaker.

    I have received hundreds of messages, asking me to ask this question. David from London speaks for many when he asks: was 1971 was the annus mirablis for popular music?’

  14. Does the Prime Minister believe that Question Time is a busted flush?

    In general I’ve noticed that the response to any of my questions, whether provocative or not, tends to be lukewarm and very lacking in information.

    Is the Honourable Gentleman contemplating a flounce?

  16. Can the Prime Minister confirm to the house the proportion of female members of his cabinet that will, that won’t, who need a lot of loving and, finally, which don’t?

  18. Would the Prime Minister please respond to the question that the whole country needs an answer to. That is, who let the dogs out? Woof, woof, woof.

    I would urge the Prime Minster to not pander to the canine lobby and such doggy special interest groups.

    Finally, “A doggie is nothing if he don’t have a bone” is not an adequate answer to the house.

    • Mr Speaker I would suggest that the fact that the Honourable Member is even mentioning Joe Lynn Turner indicates just how out of touch he is with the concerns of hard working Deep Purple fans and their families.

  23. Would the Prime Minister rather be a sparrow than a snail
    Yes he would, if he could, he surely would
    Would the Prime Minister rather be a hammer than a nail
    Yes he would, if he could, he surely would

    or would he rather sail away
    like a swan that’s here and gone

    • Mr Speaker

      Her Majesty’s government has always made clear it’s support for NATO and the value of the special relationship that we maintain with our allies across the Atlantic. In view, however, of recent statements made by the Rt. Hon. Gentleman, the Leader of the Opposition: is he prepared to admit that he will do a nasty on the White House lawn?

  26. Mr Speaker,

    I feel very honoured and privileged to be elected Labour leader and I hope we can have a PMQs that properly represents the voice of the people, who elect all of us to this chamber.

    Now could the Prime Minister tell us, if I may put it in the words of that fine English songsmith Steven Morrisey,

    What difference does it make?

  31. ‘Mr. Speaker. One of my correspondents – Arthur – simply asks ‘Have you seen it?’

    ‘Have you?’

    (Mr. Corbyn makes a gesture, pointing to a void formed between his arm and his body).

  33. Speaker: “The member for Akron, Ohio”

    “Thank you Mr. Speaker”. (leans on a pile of books, holds glasses in one hand and gestures dismissively towards MPs opposite) “In my constituency the voters only have one question, and it is this…”

    (Dennis Skinner, interrupting “Get on with it, Brylcreem! “)

    Speaker: “Order! Order! The member for Akron, Ohio will be heard”

    Thank you Mr Speaker. As I was saying , my constituents have just one question (unfolds piece of paper and clears throat):

    “Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo!”

  35. ‘Mr. Speaker. Is there any fuel in the P.M’s automobile?’

    ‘I can answer in the affirmative, Mr. Speaker, and that the men and women not in this place are fully aware who the Rt. Hon gentleman is.’

  43. Serious question – if the opposition benches break into childish snorting noises when Cameron appears at the next PMQs (which is what would happen in any classroom in the land) could it destroy his credibility enough to bring him down?

    I’m not a fan but concede that this would be monstrously unfair, but image is all.

    • The government benches must have been thinking of singing ‘God Save The Queen’ whenever Mr. Corbyn enters the chamber. I suspect they won’t, for fear of an outbreak of oinking.

      • Jezza has committed Labour to a more adult type of debate, so presumably there won’t be any oinking from the back benches. Shame, really.

        I wonder how many other politicians have bizarre initiation rituals they’d rather didn’t become public? It’s not only posh yobs who fuck pigs or similar to join clubs. I bet @jackthebiscuit could tell us a few stories…

        • Maybe not from the Labour front-bench, granted. Dennis Skinner is bound to come up with something.

          The there’s the 56 members of the SNP to contend with.

    • Perhaps worth remembering that Parliament is currently in recess for the conference season. They’re not back until 12 October. No doubt this story will have been forgotten by then and order will have been restored. The Daily Mail will have published something about Jeremy Corbyn, and gone back from its current brief status of objective recorder of truth, to being the Daily Heil – you know, that paper which enormously rich men use to promote their own political obsessions.

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