Is defined as ‘a state of mind that anticipates undesirable outcomes’. So far so bad. It’s just that once, someone much smarter than me, told me that when it came to assessing people they had just met, they were always pessimist until proved otherwise, and that it was healthy to be so.
I didn’t get that then but I do now.
What do you think?
Too much thinking can give you a headache
The American musician Jim White used to, as part of his onstage banter, talk about a concept he called “Optimistic Pessimism”.
This boiled down, basically, to the idea that if you always expect the worst and then something good happens, it will come as a pleasant surprise. Which is reason for a tiny little smidgeon of optimism.
(Handcuffed To A Fence In Mississippi)
Maybe it depends quite how pessimistic you are, Not a good strategy to overdo it,
But Jim White is right, Approaching something with modest expectations means there’s a good chance you will be pleasantly surprised, Approaching anything with sky-high expectations will inevitably lead to disappointment. A gig, a book, a person, a film – whatever.
Often the best experiences happen when one has no expectations at all.
Frank Burns (MASH) : Why do people take an instant dislike to me?
Trapper :It saves time.
I was always led to believe that an optimist is merely a pessimist with no foresight anyway.
I agree with Kaisfatdad ‘often the best experiences happen when one has no expectations at all’. I try not to big an event up too much beforehand but my optimistic nature makes it difficult to manage the anticipation.
Generally I don’t like pessimism and try not to hang around with pessimistic people. I was talking with a business colleague about another colleague in the office known for her propensity to moan at the slightest thing. His comments were ‘We could make an announcement that all the staff are going to get an unexpected bonus of £100. She would be the one telling everyone it should have been £200.’
Not quite sure that is the best example of pessimism but she is both a pessimist and negative and a trouble maker to boot. Do they go hand in hand? Probably.
I’m taking this approach to or holiday next week. 4 nights in Belgium then 3 in France. I have absolutely no expectation of enjoying it at all. I’m hoping to be pleasantly surprised. French and Belgian food for a week seems like a horror show. Then there’s French beer! I’m not going to knock Belgian beer but is just to darn strong for my taste. …. and why do the French always seem to insist on putting hot milk into coffee?!
Not quite sure what your tastes run to, given your post, but the food in Belgium is sensational. It’s near impossible to have a poor meal unless you’re daft enough to eat in an obvious tourist joint.
Huge range of beers, not all of which are strong. Avoid ‘Duvel’ though; it’ll knock your head off.
Well I’ve read the guide books and the helpful web pages and everyone makes out that, as a vegetarian, I’m in for a torrid time. I’m expecting a diet of pizzas and bread rolls for a week but, as I say, I’m fully open to pleasant surprises.
Where in France are you going?
We’re staying in Cabourg near Caen for a few days looking around the WW2 sites, beaches etc.
Plenty of eateries to choose from in Caen.
Ah, vegetarian. All is explained. Daily life must be a ‘horror show’, I would imagine.
Having been married to a vegetarian for 30 years, and having two vegetarian children, I can tell you with some authority that it ain’t easy in either country. Crepes will be your saviour, that and omelettes. But a quick look at Trip Advisor tells me that there’s a vegetarian joint in Caen called Greedy Guts (I’d love to hear a Frenchman say that) that seems highly thought of. There will be others here and there. Good luck – and don’t be too snooty about the beer, some French beer is really quite good.
Sorry, I wasn’t being snooty about the beer, it’s just that stuff I’d had in the past isn’t really to my taste.
Thanks for the vegetarian restaurant tip. I’ll look it up. I think part of our problem is that we both see eating as refueling so anything that gets in the way is a bit of a pain. The good news is that we’ve so far seen two places that at least does vegetarian lasagne so I may not starve after all…. just need the rain to stop now!
‘Crepes will be your saviour’.
Today’s t-shirt slogan winner. . .
Er, can I just say here that I’m a fucking idiot? I actually meant cynicism NOT pessimism.
Now where were we ….
Oh yes, cynicism.
When my friend said they were a cynic I argued that this is just a defensive mind set for people beaten down by life – they don’t trust anyone, they’re just mean-spirited misanthropes. And to back this up I pointed out that to be called cynical generally isn’t seen as a compliment.
However, it’s all started to make sense to me …
Honestly Niscum!
That’s rather like me asking everyone to post their favourite Rumanian reggae tracks and then posting a correction to say that what I was really after was black metal from Bulgaria.
Don’t worry! Worse things happen at sea.
You’re a bit pessimistic about maritime transport aren’t you?
A cynic is effectively a pessimist
A pessimist will say: Everything is going to go wrong
A cynic will say: Everything is going to go wrong, and it will be sh*t, again, just like it was last time.
The only difference (in my head, because I am a natural cynic (a bit like Jack Dee on Downers) is that a cynic is often just saying this stuff, without actually meaning it. A pessimist actually truly believes that their existence will be harmed by the upcoming catastrophe
I don’t believe that a cynic would say ‘Everything is going to go wrong, and it will be sh*t, again, just like it was last time’
What they would say is: ‘I don’t know this person or what drives them, or what is their state of mind, and so until I do I am going to assume that their intent with me is not benign. It’s selfish.’
This isn’t just passive misanthropy, but rather an attitude that helps to really understand someone.
You do not assume everything will work out bad, it may, but you are more prepared to cut through surface appearances to get to the true intent and drives of someone to find out if it might.
If your default assumption proves correct then no harm done, you figured them out and they’ll respect you all the more for it. if it proves false then that hasn’t harmed the relationship either; you weren’t rude or disrespectful to them and in fact they may not have had any idea at all that you even were cynical.
It’s a healthy way to build any kind of relationship.