Musings on the byways of popular culture
06/08/2015 by Junior Wells 84 Comments
find me a hole. I need to crawl into one.
Junior Wells says
06/08/2015 at 10:14
Make that 3 ducks.
This is what happens to England. Not us
Fuck me dead it’s only 8 balls in
06/08/2015 at 10:18
Smith; 2,4, Out. Idiot. No sympathy if they don’t try to play test cricket.
06/08/2015 at 10:20
06/08/2015 at 10:21
I could have sworn I was still awake. This is clearly a ad trip man .
06/08/2015 at 10:22
15 for 4! I can’t believe what I’m hearing.
Pup on the cusp of oblivion or greatness
06/08/2015 at 10:23
Digs out anything here and he’s a true legend
06/08/2015 at 10:28
We’re fucked …surely
06/08/2015 at 10:30
21 for 5. Is this a dream?
Marsh Neville Johnson and Pup. eke out 200. Just see it out till lunch.
06/08/2015 at 10:31
Ok good ball great catch
I’m used to rude awakening
Not extremely rude err awake
The first one-day Test?
06/08/2015 at 10:34
5 wickets in 25 balls – quickest in any test ever…
06/08/2015 at 10:35
Not convinced its the conditions. Australia been ponderous, nervy and noticeably uncomfortable. Pup got to step up. Only hope.
06/08/2015 at 10:40
06/08/2015 at 10:39
Oblivion it is.WtF was that Pup?
hubert rawlinson says
06/08/2015 at 10:41
Sorry, thought this was the songs about ducks thread.
Hot Cider says
06/08/2015 at 10:46
Shocking shot from Clarke . As Boycott has just said, he couldn’t have reached that shot with a sweeping brush.
Broads 5 wickets quickest ever.
06/08/2015 at 10:48
Australia’s lowest ever Ashes score was 36, in 1902. Hmmm…
06/08/2015 at 10:55
Ponting sounds (understandably) shellshocked.
Fewest number of balls for 5 wickets in test history.
Might as well declare and get your mob out there. Mind you our blokes will probably spray it everywhere with the pressure.
Oh woe is me.
Thank god count Jim is (hopefully) at work
And as I type Neville goes .Why declare when you dance humiliated????
count jim moriarty says
06/08/2015 at 13:42
I may be at work Junior, but that doesn’t mean I’m not listening!
Won’t see any until the highlights tonight, but the consensus seems to be that the England bowlers exploited the conditions whilst there was some poor, indecisive batting. Pup’s dismissal sounds horrendous (from his point of view, not mine!)
06/08/2015 at 10:56
Can be humiliated not dance ,though Nietzche may have recommended dance.
06/08/2015 at 10:58
Seven down (6,4)
06/08/2015 at 11:03
06/08/2015 at 11:02
Thank you Chiz
Question: can England make Australia follow on even though they haven’t batted themselves?
06/08/2015 at 11:10
Anyone who had tickets for the 4th day at Edgbaston and saw no cricket and then thought, I’ll get tickets for the 1st day at Trent Bridge – hope they got there early.
Black Celebration says
06/08/2015 at 11:11
Ooh. What if England bash a quick total of exactly 200 more than Aussie and make them follow on before the day’s out? Probably getting a bit over excited…
06/08/2015 at 11:13
Well excited you deserve to be Broad now has 6.
Aussies like rabbits in a spotlight
Number Six says
06/08/2015 at 11:15
06/08/2015 at 11:18
Pathetic batting – pitch is nothing outrageous – no front foot movement. Simple.
Now 9. All smiles in South Africa!
06/08/2015 at 11:20
The morning that England won the Ashes?
06/08/2015 at 11:21
We’ll be interesting as the shoe will soon be on other foot and presumably the wicket and conditions will be pretty much the same.
You couldn’t be as abject us …could you?
06/08/2015 at 11:23
Come off it JW – the pitch has nothing to do with it. No confidence, poor technique. England have their tails up and will bat accordingly.
06/08/2015 at 11:28
Definitely a tricky pitch but nothing that unusual. Fantastic bowling and absolutely piss poor batting. Clarke and Smith – Captain and Vice – what the hell were they thinking?
MJ showed them how to do it properly… for a bit
06/08/2015 at 11:22
50 up – I can hear the sarcastic applause from here…
06/08/2015 at 11:24
I’d stick that bloke Extras up the order a bit, he seems fairly decent.
Yes that was really galling…funny mind you
Kid Dynamite says
06/08/2015 at 11:27
Fair play to you for sticking in front of the keyboard, Junior (and I think @garyjohn is an Author as well?).
06/08/2015 at 11:30
Dunno bout author but I’m a Scotsman in Oz.
06/08/2015 at 11:31
Sigh, dem old spellchecker blues again. Has anybody suggested an edit function?
@junior-wells please forgive the crowing that will definitely come. I can’t remember such a demolition by England against Aus in my 48 years – but you guys have done it to us countless times. We don’t know how to behave.
06/08/2015 at 11:33
Mate go for it. You deserve to, we deserve it. I have no problems with crowing when you are on top .
06/08/2015 at 11:42
Please Mummy make it stop.
And so it came to pass.
All out for 60
Nice round number he says wanly
06/08/2015 at 11:47
Michael Slater on Channel 9 says the Aussies bowlers will be ‘licking their lips at the chance to bowl on this’. To be fair to him, although he said it, it’s obvious he doesn’t mean it.
06/08/2015 at 11:49
Tell you what, we’ll give you Lyth for free. Make a game of it.
06/08/2015 at 11:51
Back to earlier comment GJ – how can you say pitch has nothing to do with it.pitch and overcast, the ball is moving around,
Yes prodding at the ball, not leaving, poor technique but conditions aren’t irrelevant.
Challenge will be whether these bowlers can control the ball .Siddle would have.
06/08/2015 at 11:54
it’s a bog standard English pitch JW. Not easy but exactly as you’d expect. Pup’s wicket was just an appealing shot End of.
Appalling . Appealing to the fielders though.
06/08/2015 at 11:56
Ok, so the other pitches weren’t then.
so it’s a change in conditions.
Bog standard for poms not Aussies, same problem England has down here.
06/08/2015 at 11:57
Ruined my theory that England would throw this one to make it interesting for the last test…
If you can’t make more than 60 on this pitch and in these conditions you shouldn’t be playing test cricket.
06/08/2015 at 12:01
Just woke up and put on TMS, Lyth still batting close to lunch. Decent start !
06/08/2015 at 12:03
Was not my point which you seem to be wilfully ignoring but whatever.
06/08/2015 at 12:09
Wilful? Not at all. Just getting irritated by Aussies refusing to accept their limitations. Every Australian commentator on Channel 9& TMS trying to justify poor play.
06/08/2015 at 12:17
And I take back what I said about Broad
06/08/2015 at 12:32
More ducks than on Hilda Ogden’s living room wall.
06/08/2015 at 12:58
Extras top scored
06/08/2015 at 13:13
Top tip: get your Australian batsman name by adding “b. Broad” to your surname.
06/08/2015 at 13:18
One down 9 to go .
Bed beckons and I will leave this pusillanimous team to fend for themselves.
06/08/2015 at 13:19
I have less than zero interest in cricket but I am finding the background murmur of Afterworders chuntering on about it strangely soothing.
06/08/2015 at 13:20
Decent ball in the right place but no front foot movement.
06/08/2015 at 13:21
More like shock therapy for me
06/08/2015 at 17:19
I thought the 700 runs in the one dayer against the Kiwis was a good day’s entertainment but this has even topped that. Incredible morning session and just lapping up the sun ever since. The majority of the crowd are in high spirits, as you’d imagine.
A six for Joe Root.
Richie B says
06/08/2015 at 21:11
*stops for air*
Don’t worry lads, Usman Khawaja’s next up to the plate and he’s the next fucken Bradman.
06/08/2015 at 21:17
But seriously, where is the next bunch of Aussie batters coming from? You’ve got some great bowlers, but there’s nobody pulling up any trees in the Shield is there?
Well, is there?
06/08/2015 at 22:01
Quite apart from the score, it’s the whole vibe surrounding the England team at the moment which is most impressive.
Is it too much to hope that they’ll be able to replicate it away from home?
07/08/2015 at 07:57
At least the footy is on at the same time tonight.
But Mrs Wells mob are playing and I’ve tipped against them so it’s a lose lose night ahead for me.
07/08/2015 at 08:14
So the plan is to bowl Eng out, giving them a lead of say, 250. Then bat for a day and half and make 400. Then start bowling like your life depends on it and skittle Eng out for a glorious, unlikely victory. (The bookies are quoting 21/1.)
Except the confidence in the Aus camp is at rockbottom and Pup already looks like his goose is well and truly roasted.
‘Disgraceful’ is the verdict in Australia today. and surprisingly JW, no one is mentioning the unplayable English conditions.
07/08/2015 at 09:56
Sorry, is this the same Australia team that scored 800 runs in the 2nd test at Lord’s, and won by some 400 runs? About three weeks ago? How did they forget how to bat so quickly?
07/08/2015 at 10:00
Oh and 21/1 is a joke for Australia to win – rain effected draw maybe. The real odds must be nearer 1000/1 given that in 2000 tests I don’t think there has ever been a comeback of the scale needed
07/08/2015 at 10:02
Actually I agree PW – I would have been tempted at 100/1 because that represents how impossible the task is. But 21/1 ? Come off it.
07/08/2015 at 11:23
And where does the 1 come into it?
Why not 20/1 ?
07/08/2015 at 11:48
Interesting that it’s now 12/1. Are Aus a better bet now than they were overnight? Doubt it.
07/08/2015 at 12:04
Broad ,these days, is like Glenn McGrath – right on the spot from the first ball and relentlessly competitive and menacing.
Just switched from the footy and every ball in the over nearly cleaned up Warner.
The good news is that yesterday that would have meant 3 blokes in the pavilion.
07/08/2015 at 12:12
Yeah forget the footie JW – Tiges are cooked. It’s all about confidence isn’t it. ATM Eng has it.
07/08/2015 at 12:19
Yeah trying not to sound pleased with Mrs Wells in the room.
I read that Warne knew Pup was going to play number 5 before the team did.
And if we are looking at peripheral things to blame too many WAGS on tour.
We need more moustaches,body shorts, huge piss ups after the game, ,more sledging and an 8 ball over.
07/08/2015 at 12:28
Well I’m happy cos my lot got done by Tiges last week. The selection is all over the place in this test. Dropping MC to 5 and bringing in another bowler sounded a distinct note of insecurity. What I don’t get is the fact that Pup and lots of the other batsman have plenty of Eng condition experience. Rodgers has played for more than 5 county teams and Voges is almost a local in Nottingham.
apparently Pup spent almost an hour looking at the pitch yesterday morning. I reckon he psyched himself out.
07/08/2015 at 12:31
Smith too has played a fair bit.
Sorry to hear you,are a Hawthorn man…it was all going so well.
07/08/2015 at 12:40
Yeah – bit fair-weather – first year in Melb – first game of footie ever and Hawks won Granny. Binds you for life – well sort of. Can Pup make some runs? I’m not his biggest fan but he doesn’t deserve to go out like this.
07/08/2015 at 13:00
One wonders just how much discomfort he has played under with that back of his.
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