Call me old fashioned and I guess this has maybe been discussed before, but was listening to Test Match Special this morning and even Michael Vaughan has now resorted to using the phrase “Going Forward” all the time. It’s so annoying, constantly heard at work all the time in pointless meetings, as is the term “guys”
What other sayings do you find hard to abide these days?
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Dodger Lane says
“Can I get ?” No, you bloody can’t, ask properly. I have a theory that the whole can I get thing is a result of the brits moving away from our previously feeble can I have approach when we would be grateful for gristly meaty and then thank the restaurant when asked how it was. Now, we’re all supposed to be more assertive, less tolerant of bad food & bad service so it’s all can i get whilst texting and not looking at who’s serving. I think I prefer the old days, but without the gristle.
ip33 says
Exactly “Can I get” means going into the kitchen or behind the counter and cooking/pouring/making your Steak & Kidney Pie/Dandelion & Burdock/Egg on Toast. And nobody wants to do that because you might have well stayed at home and done it there.
Just stop it everybody.
RedLemon says
bang on.
and that’s why i say “can i get”.
Gatz says
I have no problem with ‘can I get … ?’, or ‘Guys’ for that matter, or should I say ‘I’m good’ so far as they are concerned? I’m in favour of entertaining neologisms and inventive new usages in general, at least until they start to grate through overuse.
What I dislike are meaningless space fillers such as ‘going forward’. I spent most of a work morning last week editing a document put together by several parties, most of whom believed that when a sentence begins ‘Between 2015 and 2020 …’ it is acceptable that is should end ‘ … at this time’, or even ‘ … during the time-frame concerned’.
Johnny Concheroo says
I dislike the way that, seemingly, women can now also be “guys”
Imagine the scene: a group of people go into a restaurant. The group consists of men and women. The wait-person comes over with the menus and addresses the entire group with a cheery “Hi guys, here are today’s specials. Can I get you drink while you look at the menu?”
Gatz says
That’s sounds fine to me in an informal restaurant (the only sort you’re likely to find me in). But now I realise how many people are wound up by ‘can I get’ I can say that I’m good with it and resolve to use it more going forward, guys.
Malc says
Maybe there’s a subconscious aversion to saying “guys ‘n’ gals”. You might as well add “now then, now then”.
Vulpes Vulpes says
Bang on. It’s fatuous.
Can you get a cup of coffee? Sure, be my guest, the hot water’s over there, and the coffee machine is behind me. You’ll still have to pay the same for it, mind. But if you want me to serve you with one, please ask like a proper grown up.
bobness says
100% absolutely.
People who say “Can I get…?” should be shot. No questions. I’m with nogbad.
Kid Dynamite says
You were listening to the Test Match today, and that was the thing that annoyed you the most? Wow.
nogbad says
SO, Id like to start a sentence now..
I won’t contact you – I’ll reach out.
Of course, “Can I get a latte,” is a hangable offence.
Any organisation – Joe Schmoe Plumbing – ” Streamlining all your pipe-based needs,” ” Delivering Drainage,”
” This is a Colleague announcement….”
( Sorry everyone – I didn’t realise that I was that grumpy. I’m probably still underwhelmed by the Green Man bill from this morning.)
Black Type says
What really, really annoys me is the growing trend, adopted inevitably from Over There, of journos saying/ writing “named for” instead of “named after”. One theory is that the former is used in reference to something other than a person or place, but I’ve seen it used increasingly in discussions of both. I find it very jarring.
Mavis Diles says
I’ve grown to love all of these daft phrases, and now am fascinated by them. Where do they start? How do they spread? How easy would it be to invent one?
poolhallrichard says
My biggest bugbear is the ubiquitous vocal tick “like” which seems to have invaded the speech of all – and I mean just about all – young people, predominantly female, below the age of 35. It’s so prevalent and ingrained that I don’t think many realise they are doing it.
Whenever I hear it now I’m like…
Black Type says
Tell me about it! My granddaughter, like, lives with us and, like, I love her to bits but, like, she uses ‘like’ every other word. It, like, literally (there’s another one!) drives me insane!
Vulpes Vulpes says
I think you’ll find that’s, like, spelled “lidrully”.
Wayfarer says
“Like” Has been around for on this side of the Pond, on the end of sentences, like.
Wayfarer says
for ages…. like.
mikethep says
Not too keen on ‘tell me about it’ either…
H.P. Saucecraft says
Tell me about it …
Mavis Diles says
The use of “like” is interesting. I believe that the speed of conversation is getting faster, and the propensity to interrupt is increasing. If you remove all spaces from a conversation and replace them with a filler word, it is harder to interrupt and also keeps the speed up.
David Kendal says
Its use has, though, killed off “you know” which had the same role of appearing to be slightly self-deprecating about what you were saying.
bricameron says
deramdaze says
Beginning sentences with ‘so’ and the ever dependable ‘back in the day’.
Bingo Little says
I use all of these expressions, probably including the ones written below/after this post. I believe they add to the gaiety of nations.
I’ve mentioned this before, but I used to work for someone who, instead of saying “Explain that to me slowly” would say “Take me on a journey…. but do it gently”. I loved that guy.
Vulpes Vulpes says
You provocative little fucker.
Bingo Little says
It’s no use just quoting my old school reports at me, Foxy. I’ll be speaking corporate ’til the day I die, feel me?
Fin59 says
Bingo
Like, dude? I’m like…uh, with you? Going forward, can we like, just like run this post? You know, like again? Every time, like, we have this back and forth? On like, how we speak?
I’m like, what is up with these dudes, dude? Like, do they want us to do? Like speak Shakespeare?
Like in the coffee shop? What am I? Like:
Please may I request that, without undue delay, you kind custodian of the apparatus for the facilitation of arabica bean based beverages, prepare for me a liquid delight, possibly South American in origin, frothed but flavoursome, rich in texture, yet uniformly light brown in hue and verily for consumption, in a place remote and not adjacent to your estimable premises.? With gratitude, and in advance, I warrant such expeditiousness as you are able to import.
I’m like forget you 🙂 YOLO 🙂
I’m like: Can I get a flat white to go?
She (cute barista) is like: Sure
I’m like: Great
She’s like: Have a great day 🙂
I’m like: You too
And we’re good.
Like, can we get with that?
Black Type says
“I’m good”.
…Actually, we’ll be the judge of that if you don’t mind.
I hate hate hate that expression.
Fin59 says
Good to know.
GCU Grey Area says
So.
Huw Edwards (and other presenters) who say, when the reporter hands back to the studio ‘Thank you very much there Spartacus. Spartacus Mills. Spartacus Mills there. Spartacus Mills there our Crisis Correspondent. Spartacus Mills our Crisis Correspondent on location’.
Sorry Huw, who was that?
The Actual North says
Rainbow aksed Mummy if it was ok.
Sid Williams says
I work in a multinational company and a lot of these phrases, going forward being one of them, have become a kind of international shorthand. They just save time and they really don’t bother me (apart from “reach out” which is pure Sopranos and any non-gangster using it seems a bit of a twat)
What annoys me more is creeping Americanizations like “on” the weekend, especially with the stress on the first syllable. No excuse for that, but then I’m a grumpy old git and we’ll all be speaking the same mashup in a couple of hundred years time anyway.
minibreakfast says
See also “on Christmas”.
Black Type says
Ahem, “reach out” was being used authentically in the peerless NYPD Blue way before The Sopranos
Sniffity says
And by the Four Tops well before that.
Jeff says
Well, this is what comes from watching the commercial channel and listening to race music, isn’t it?
You’ve only got yourselves to blame.
*folds arms, tightens lips, breathes through nose, glowers*
Rob C says
I’m still delving the mysticism of cricket, but the ongoing bastardisations of upward inflection, the lack of ‘and’, ‘guys’ ( a Neo Lib Con Marxist conspiracy to rob all hepcats and dudettes of a revolutionary identity in the face of broken souls/ weekly performance stars eg. who’s cleaned out The Man’s soul sucking arse pummelling cheap shit soup machine this week) (not me.. haha!) and as for quality time…. What The Fuck ?
Rob C says
Sorry – re ‘quality time’ – we all need it. No offence meant. Just having a pop at terminology that grates.
Deviant808 says
“Reaching out” and “Going forwards” annoy me too, but there are more…
I refuse to “Socialise” a document when I can circulate / release / publish it.
The most recent new one is “co-location”, which seems to mean “getting everyone in the same room” as far as I can make out.
Rob C says
Journo speak ‘ we are SO BEYOND…. (whatever banality)
No you’re fucking not. Tell me when you get there.
Moose the Mooche says
Dude you’re so there already.
minibreakfast says
I recently contacted Waterstones’ customer service over wheelchair accessibility in one of their branches. When they got back to me (quickly and very satisfactorily) I was told that the details of the new policy would be “cascaded” to staff. Yuk.
ivylander says
In an orderly cadence, no doubt…
Moose the Mooche says
You should be grateful he didn’t say it would be “rolled out” to staff.
Sid Williams says
ah, another one which really pisses me off and earned a 50 something friend of mine a playful, yet hopefully threatening, slap when he used it recently. The use of a sing song “love you” at the end of a phone conversation. No excuse, just none.
minibreakfast says
How did you manage to slap him while you were speaking to him on the ‘phone? 🙂
Sid Williams says
ha, was that a subtle dig at my lack of an apostrophe?
minibreakfast says
No, I was being silly, pretending that the “love you” was directed at you.
androo1963 says
I should of paid attention at school.
No. You should have paid attention.
The 8th letter of the alphabet is haitch.
No it’s not, it’s aitch.
bobness says
If you can’t stand should of, would of etc, I’ve come to the conclusion that you should never venture onto a site on the interweb where under 20s may post, or local newspaper sites in general.
Man, that does my head in.
Black Celebration says
I have a certain amount of sympathy for Michael Vaughan because there’s a lot of forward movement in cricket and his commentating role is to tell us what is happening. Where there isn’t a great deal of movement forward is in most offices – here it is necessary to promote the idea of forward movement because this may not have been tried before.
Jackthebiscuit says
I dislike being called “Feller” by someone who does not know me, likewise the (mis)use of the word “Proper” (as in “I proper mean that”).
But top of my list of hates is the again (mis)use of the double negative as in “I aint done nothing” I hate that with a vengeance & I proper mean that.
Vulpes Vulpes says
Bob! Calling Bob! Time to accuse us all of being curmudgeons.
Black Celebration says
As for “guys” – I stopped visiting a sandwich shop at lunchtime because they were too friendly. They asked my name for the order and by visit three I was greeted loudly like I was Norm from Cheers when I walked in. Everyone turns round to look at you. Yikes.
They also use “buddy” quite a lot. I remember a Grodon Ramsay moment where he met a large, affable young man working in a kitchen. He was about 25, was really chatty and chummy and kept calling him “mate”.
Ramsay said – “Let me make one thing clear…I am not your “mate” “. The young guy looked a bit devastated, but sometimes overfamiliarity does need reining in a bit.
Moose the Mooche says
Dude, Norm was popular because he drank a lot.
Is there something you want to tell us about your relationship with sandwiches?
Black Celebration says
But he also went there willingly to chew the cud and share the odd bon mot with his friends. A favourite bar entrance of mine is at 30 seconds on this clip.
Perhaps I should go there again and try to hang out all day? That’d be nice and weird. I bet they’ll be getting security to chuck me out within half an hour.
Johnny Concheroo says
Just after that clip ends comes the funniest moment in the movie – when she casually leans in the car window and releases the handbrake with Gene Wilder prostrate in the back seat.
Rigid Digit says
“On a journey” – terrible phrase.
or “the journey so far”.
Ok if you are actually going somewhere by some means of transport, visiting places you’ve never been. But not if you’re sitting in a sweat-stinking, over-hot Meeting Room trying to implement a simple process or change in the face of do-gooding HR and/or Change Programme people wanting to do it by the book and doing it so f**king slowly!
(sorry, another bad day at the office).
Similarly, one that’s started to do the rounds is “Flight Path” or “Glide Path” – only make sense if you’re actually on a plane.
Jackthebiscuit says
Football punditry – he put in a good shift – no he didn’t, so fuck off.
Jayhawk says
All those, horrible.
Personally I hate the trend on Radio 5 Live of talking about having ‘commentary OF Spurs v Chelsea today’. Since when did anyone commentate OF a football match, or any sort of match? It is and always was commentary ON a football match. Grr…
BigJimBob says
Look, Not complaints, but two observations on how sport-speak is becoming internationalized. The first is how the Ozzie cricketer’s habit of starting all sentences with “look” has caught on. Strange, no?
The other is turning statements into questions by ending then with “no”? This is a Spanish thing I notice was popularized in the Premiership by Rafa Benite (Jose did it a bit too). Then Gary Linneker, et al started doing it all the time.
Locust says
Don’t know how it is anywhere else, but in Sweden all sports people will start the answer to any question with the word “no”, usually followed by a sentence basically saying “yes”.
Q: “You played a great game today, are you happy with your performance?”
A: No, we played great today, and the team helped me score a couple of goals so I’m very happy.”
Moose the Mooche says
I got annoyed by that early doors.
“Early doors” is fucking meaningless. (Unless it’s The Crystal Ship.)
Rigid Digit says
The inverse of “Early Doors” is “Late Windows”
(maybe it isn’t, and its only me that says that)
Moose the Mooche says
This is what historians will call the Windows 10 operating system.
bobness says
Look, I’ve seen that too, and it yer know, like, really winds me up too?
Blue Boy says
The Thing.
As, in ‘here’s the Thing’, and ‘is that A Thing?’ ‘I never knew x was A ThIng’ etc etc
Moose the Mooche says
“Here’s the thing” is usually followed by something utterly obnoxious which the speaker is trying to present as Ultimate Objective Truth.
cf. “I’m not being funny or anything but [eg. I hate you and hope that everyone you love dies in agony, etc]
JustB says
Is this thread on some kind of rota?
I never fail to be amazed at how cross you lot get about this stuff.
Jeff says
How old are your kids?
No wait, don’t put me on A List! I just mean that while it’s possible to grit your teeth and get through a working day-full of bollocks talk, being subjected to it by your lovely sainted children NON-STOP AT HOME is a different thing altogether.
So if your kids are just about to reach their tweens, my advice is to run away from home now.
Here to help, no need to thank me.
Makka Pakka says
Meetings are no longer cancelled but ‘stood down’
Fin59 says
we have stand ups.
I’m like good with that?
badartdog says
Is it Tuesday already?
Johnny Concheroo says
I asked my window cleaner if he could fit me in one day next week He said he had a window on Tuesday, so obviously he couldn’t do it then. But he didn’t have a window on Wednesday or Thursday, so either of those days were good for him.
Black Celebration says
Similarly, when a gynaecologists has an opening on Tuesday morning, that means they are busy.
Johnny Concheroo says
Did you hear about the gynecologist who wallpapered his hall through the letterbox?
jazzjet says
A few things :
1. The increasing use by politicians of the word ‘clear’ (and I’m looking at you, Cameron). As in, ‘Look I’m very clear about this’. Nothing linguistically wrong with this but it’s becoming a trend. You have been warned.
2. In football ‘punditry’ the inability to use the word ‘those’, ie ‘He really shouldn’t be playing them type of balls.’ (see Glenn Hoddle et al).
3. Also in football, the tendency of foreign coaches to use the phrase ‘in this moment’.
4. Why do so many people pronounce ‘medieval’ as ‘med-eeval’ instead of ‘med-ee-eeval’?
Ah, that’s better.
Rob C says
That makes me fucking seethe…………. It’s Medieval. MEDI- FUCKING-EVAL !!!!!!
It’s all gone to shite. The woods of Arcady are dead, and over is their antique joy.
God, I’m depressed.
Wayfarer says
Created pronounced as crated, as frequently uttered by almost anyone interviewed on Radio Four, along with starting any sentence with So.
Ffs.
David Wright says
“Whoop, Whoop!” really grates as well! Can’t abide it.
Simonl says
My manager has been on all the courses and uses all the corporate language and does the Tony Blair hand motions. Irritates the fuck out of me. And to make matters worse he cannot say the word ‘performance’ ‘PREFORMANCE’ he says, everytime.
Simonl says
It’s such David Brent thing that I’m cringing at the mere thought of it.
“Can I get a flame thrower, some rat poison and a triple espresso-shot Americano please”
Simonl says
“What tic? WHAT do you mean? I’m not feeling stressed, what do you mean I look stressed? You mean this meeting is going on for another two hours to say what we could say in two sentences?”
Fuck.
ianess says
‘Hand motions’. I loathe that one politicians use when they’re stressing a point – closed fist pointed towards you, with thumb over first finger. Meant to be less assertive than pointing at you. Forget it – we’re all perfectly aware that you’re needy, inadequate, authoritarian pricks who were shunned at school and now wish to take it out on the rest of us. You’re not kidding us otherwise.
Simonl says
Yup, bossman does that. Cameron is another who uses that one. It just looks like a disguised ‘wanker’ gesture. Like a sign for a ‘posh wank’, or a sock job.
ianess says
They all do it – must be part of media training.
Wayfarer says
Televison journalists do it too – it drives me bananas.
bobness says
My boss, bless him, almost constantly uses the phrase “at the present time.”
e.g. “At the present time, we have no plans to change …”
It’s pointless longhand for “now” or “currently” and has no redeeeming features.
He never says “in the future time” or “in the past time”, for example.
What a great thread.
Archie Valparaiso says
In the future, as discussed, is now “going forward”, and in the past is, of course, now “prior”.
Vulpes Vulpes says
Nucular. If there’s one behaviour that can make me spit with rage and wish the BBC an early demise it’s when one of their journalists – you know, the ones with degrees and decent salaries – says “nucular” instead of “nuclear”.
Archie Valparaiso says
The preferred pronunciation of Ford Angular drivers.
Moose the Mooche says
Not to mention the Ford Popliar
Vulpes Vulpes says
Oh, and another: I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve yelled at the telly, “that’s”more quickly”, not “quicker”, you moron.”.
chiz says
Eh? What’s wrong with ‘quicker?’
Captain Haddock says
Last month we had an email around work asking if anybody intended to be in the office between Christmas and New Year, or “Twixmas, as it is apparently known”. The email was even headed “Twixmas Working”.
“No it isn’t called Twixmas! It’s called Christmas! The twelve days of Christmas!” I wanted to shout at the top of my voice. Instead I just settled for tutting and seething inwardly.
poolhallrichard says
Guy Garvey on his 6Music show refers to it as the perineum of the year…
Twang says
I mentioned in an earlier grumblethread that I worked at a place where they referred to the people who had received an email as the “distro”.
Also “7 P to 8 A” meaning 7 in the evening until 8 in the morning.
chiz says
Grumblethread: a forum for afterword colleagues to spleenvent their verbal iteration challenges
Moose the Mooche says
I’ve been waiting for a grumble thread for years.
Not this type of grumble, tho’.
Hawkfall says
The internet has killed off grumble though Moose. Thanks to the easy availability of mucky stuff online, there simply aren’t the same number of weathered copies of Fiesta to be found in the nation’s hedgerows anymore. It’ll be extinct in 10 years, and what is the National Trust doing? Nothing that’s what.
Moose the Mooche says
….and the young people of today grown up thinking that a jazz mag is a periodical about music and musicians.
For shame.
ivylander says
Presumably they occasionally have a convo with the distro….
Poppy Succeeds says
I’m not sure if it’s specific to where I live but I’m not fond of people answering, “No, you’re all right,” when you offer them something.
“Can I get you a cup of tea, man who’s come to fix the boiler?’
“No, you’re all right.”
Sewer Robot says
Worst. Porno. Ever.
Moose the Mooche says
I initially thought this comment was a response to the OP title.
Bingo Little says
I thought he’d meant to post it on the “people rode dinosaurs” thread.
Milkybarnick says
Ha ha! That’s an up from me, and has made me think of this.
“I’ve come to fix the fridge.”
Sniffity says
This is all totes cray cray.
Black Celebration says
I know, right?
hubert rawlinson says
Sent a PowerPoint today with the phrase ‘ How can we scaffold learning for students’. Looked it up and it appears to be a ‘proper’ term. Total bollocks.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Instructional_scaffolding
JustB says
In fairness, scaffolding isn’t bollocks at all. It’s a completely essential component of teaching. Everything’s got to have a name.
MC Escher says
Yeah, but using it as a verb? The very idea..
hubert rawlinson says
Indeed that’s what I objected to, making scaffold a verb. Should it be putlog or independent scaffold learning.
JustB says
But you can scaffold a building. It’s always been a verb too!
Smudger says
I don’t necessarily find it annoying, more slightly odd, and I am as guilty as anyone of using the phrase myself, but when bidding someone farewell until, say, the weekend or the following week, why do people say ‘see you later’. It implies that you are going to see them later that same day.
I think it’s an Aussie import and seems to have more recently been abbreviated to ‘laters’.
What’s wrong with ‘cheerio’ or ‘tata’.
Archie Valparaiso says
Because “see you later (today at some point, as arranged)” has become “seeyinabit”.
JQW says
British people using baseball terms – “step up to the plate”, “ballpark figure” and so on. It’s just not cricket.
Steerpike says
Isn’t it though?
BigJimBob says
Hey guys, I hear what ya saying. I’ll take it on board.
Johnny Concheroo says
This really belongs in my triumphant “Hanging’s Too Good For Them Thread” of some months back, but let’s include people who call records “vinyls”
Sniffity says
So what would they call 78s….shellacs?
Kid Dynamite says
It’s worse than that, Johnny. I have lately detected a trend for people to call a record deck or turntable a “vinyl player”
ruff-diamond says
These people are literally worse than ten thousand Hitlers.
Johnny Concheroo says
We recently had some tradesmen round to the house (I let them in through the tradesmen’s entrance, naturally). The younger one of the two heavily tattooed artisans saw my records and commented: “I see you got a few vinyls there mate? I hear they’re coming back in”
I resisted the temptation to say “They never went away in this house pal” and meekly replied “Oh yeah, so I hear” and changed the subject.
Sewer Robot says
Would have been funny if you’d spluttered that in your huffymost voice and it turned out, being a tradesman, he was referring to your shiny and durable flooring..
Johnny Concheroo says
Oh yeah, come to think of it, he could have been complimenting me on the lino.
Moose the Mooche says
“Tradesmen’s entrance”.
Hm. And earlier today, a thread about birdwatching.
Sometimes I think I’m the victim of a conspiracy.
Milkybarnick says
Robin Reliant.
By that logic, I used to own an Astra Vauxhall.