The Independent and other news media are reporting that London is to get its first restaurant to cater for naked patrons. “Finally”, I hear you cry. Apparently it’s a pop-up restaurant…ooer. Alas it’s not going to be called ‘Starkers’ or ‘Raw’. It will be known as The Bunyadi.
No word on the menu yet. What should we expect? Will The Naked Chef be setting the menu? Will only the salads be dressed? Will they even be tossed? Will waiters don birthday suits? Will waitresses only wear a smile? Should I assume my waitress will be expecting a large tip?
I think we can assume all breast meat will be served with extra crispy skin. That said, will they risk flambèing Crêpes Suzette at your table and should I assume it’s buckwheat in the pancake mix? If it’s posh they’ll serve fish cakes with a parsley sauce. If not it’ll be fish fingers covered in some nondescript creamy white finishing sauce. Either works for me.
If there’s a large queue for the toilets then I’d give the Cock-A-Leekie soup a wide berth. I’m hoping a personal favourite of mine, Coq au Vin, will be on the menu but if it’s a dinner date I’d be recommending to my date the Toad in the Hole and, if she’s still not stuffed, I’d suggest some Spotted Dick for afters. If it’s a double date a sharing platter with plenty of titbits to nibble on followed by a Jam Roly Poly would be the order of the day.
I hope it’s got central ‘eating.
Very amusing, Bingo! What will they come up with next in That London?
Despite being a fan of William Burroughs, I think I’ll give The Naked Lunch a miss.
Who is this Bingo of whom you speak?
Very amusing, anyway!
Eyes down look in?
That OP is a triumph. I imagine Ken Dodd saying that word for word, which I mean as a compliment.
It won’t surprise anyone to know that I think this is the greatest OP in the history of the world.
On a serious point (ooer) this place will surely go out of business after two weeks, because every night they’ll have to burn all the chairs.
I understand that if it succeeds, the first franchise branch will be in Cockermouth.
Cockermouth? The one in…*snigger*…Cum-bria?
Imagine the horror of a stray hair in your sweetbreads.
Do we have any Afterword nudists? I don’t see the appeal myself.
Signed up again this year for my third Spencer Tunick nude photo shoot in Hull. Found it very liberating, don’t like the idea of nude eating though. As Viv Stanshall said it would be ‘ like the shock of fondling a raw sausage blindfold at a gay party’
Sir Henry At Rawlinson End!
Silly gimmick. Who’d want to eat at a nude restaurant apart from pervs. Pervs of the voyeur variety are also notoriously unattractive.
Jeez, most people put me off my food even when they’re fully dressed. Plus every time your gaze wandered people would think you must be staring at someone across the room. (which I probably would be).
It’s been done
http://i.imgur.com/JR4vLcB.jpg
Ooh, you can see her melons.
Could have been worse I suppose. She might have been covered in kumquats.
I enjoy a nice spread
Serving the finest pork sausages.
https://flic.kr/p/G3JpDN
Blimey, Linda Ronstadt hasn’t aged well.
Nor’s Walter Becker
At least it will put paid to the tiresome Huge Pepper Grinder routine.
Waiter: Black pepper, madame?
Diner: Look, I can see your real cock, and it’s tiny. Hop it.
(five minutes later)
Diner: Wow! This food tastes great!