The checklist:
The sounds:
A full orchestra of multiple Yammy DX7s multiply plinking dee-ex-sevenily.
A whackjob snaredrum that makes you wince on every backbeat.
Faux bakerstreety alto sax break in the middle because the verses and choruses have got a bit boring.
The images:
Big hair
Big shirts
Extreme chest exposure
Big trousers hoisted up to navel level
Rolled-up sleeves
Pale pink and powder blue colourways
Pointless set design featuring weirdass geometric black and white shapes
Lame-o jerky animation inserts whenever Rod’s lame-o jerky dancing begins to pall
It’s got the lot! Can you do better, reader?
Hmm. Having Edith’s facility is great but we seem to have lost italics and bold tags along the way. Or am I not keeping up again?
Guess so.
Ah. They didn’t show up in the preview. Nor did line breaks.
I know Rod has many fans round here (& I loved him in his 70s pomp) but that video is utterly horrifying.
It’s also a shit cover. Yuck.
Rod was obviously stuck in a groove, because my first though after reading the headline (without seeing the example video) was:
Rod Stewart – Young Turks
Eeeep. Very dodgy.
Someone around here will know the answer to a query I have about this song, it has been bugging me for years.
Why is it called Young Turks when in the chorus it sounds like he’s singing about young hearts? Or am I totally and utterly mishearing?
That has happened before now.
No mishearing, he does indeed sing “Young Hearts”.
Young Turks were a Turkish Revoultionist movement intent on overthrowing the Ottoman Empire.
The phrase has come to be used to refer to any rebellious ne’er do wells, hence (I’m assuming) the title of the song.
Why does he sing Hearts rather than Turks?
Who knows – maybe the song was written and the songwriters just wanted to give it a clever title.
or this one, perhaps.
Simple Minds – Alive & Kicking
Floppy hair
Baggy trousers, tightening around the ankle
Standing on a hillside/mountain
Earnest vocal delivery
Female backing vocal
Thumpingly precise drumbeat
Plinky-plonk keyboard break
“Ba da da da” bit when they run out of lyrics
Impressive. The whole band staring off into the distance with wind-blown hair is exemplary. As are B/V Chick’s fuchsia lipstick and Grand Hotel chandelier earrings.
The bassist really needs to watch his footing! And who turned the drum kit around mid-performance?
Not forgetting the total absence of anything remotely resembling a tune.
I’ll nominate this Heaven 17 gem “Let me Go”. All the classic 80s sounds are there and the oh so serious video has so many genre cliches. I love it and regard it as the Eightiest tune ever. To appreciate its glory it is necessary to fast forward to 5.07 on this clip, past the wonderful New Frontier by Donald Fagen.
Here’s something I wish I could unsee. Feast on those mullets, the headless bass, the DX-7-tastic bell synth, the wailing sax and the hubristic 7 minutes of it all. Ugh!
Good grief. I wish I could unhear it.
When he does eventually start to sing, it’s utterly tuneless.
I remember quite liking this song at the time. I must have only ever heard the studio version.
Sorry. Don’t agree………Tuuune !!
Agreed. Ahhh, Tom Bailey *swoon*
“When he does eventually start to sing, it’s utterly tuneless.”
Perhaps, that’s why he put it off for so long.
If only more politicians subscribed to the politics of “ooh feeling good” then perhaps we’d get somewhere. But never mind that, the 80s is right here in this box. The always-problematic coolness or otherwise of a keyboard player is front and centre.
Surely anything produced by Trevor Horn – one of those bombastic Frankie songs? “Two tribes”?
Surely not “Slave to the Rhythm” by Grace ?
Only one thing missing from that video checklist – doves taking flight (with a bonus point if it’s in slow motion, and 2 points if it’s with that ubiquitous j-e-r-r-k-k-y faux-slow-motion effect…)
Don’t forget the really long coat which flooooows behind when they leap in slow motion.
Extra points if the leaping shot cascades over 3 split screens, and fades to Black & White
Nice thread Archie. This wins though
If the Eighties were concentrated into one pop song, it would be this. Silly voice. Catchy tune. Slappy bass. Crap hair(that took hours). Bad clothes.
A bunch of make up drenched mullet heads dressed up as Romans by a swimming pool doing a shit dance.
It lacks sax. But apart from that…
Italian disco temptress Spagna really knew how to do Big Hair and oodles of mascara.
Slap bass and synths. A lavish, no-expenses-spared setting that even Taylor Swift would be envious of. Not just one sax but a small army of horny guys. And a public telephone box.
I rest my case.
Whatever happened to the Thomson twins ? I wonder if they have been doing the rounds with other 80s bands at Butlins etc ?
Glad to see go west also make an appearance In this thread.
I think Alana is now an artist… Read that somewhere, but successful enough not to be arsed about doing the nostalgia circuit
This article is a bit out of date (I think she’s been in the paper since);
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2008/apr/26/homes
And now Imagination, a group one just couldn’t get away from in the 80s, and who have the distinction of having a member, Leee John. who acted in Dr Who.
http://www.bbcamerica.com/anglophenia/2013/07/doctor-who-and-the-invasion-of-the-pop-stars
Filming their videos must have been good practice for that:
Seriously, Kaisfatdude, that song/band made feel actually bilious at the time. I feel a bit queasy thinking about them even now.
I quite like Imagination. They had a crap look, but their songs were surprisingly good. Just An Illusion, Body Talk, In And Out Of Love, So Good So Right, Flashback -catchy choons all and the guy had a good voice. So much better to my ears than today’s lightweight pop equivalents, like Beyoncè, Bieber etc.
Damned with faint praise eh, Gary ? 😉
Well I wouldn’t buy an album (except maybe Greatest Hits if they have one). But I like them. They’re fun and catchy.
Whereas while I know a few people on here enjoy the likes of Beyoncè, Taylor Swift, Robyn etc. I just can’t hear anything of value or interest in their music at all.
(Mind you, I’d say the same of the Pet Shop Boys and they seem to be loved here and elsewhere among serious music aficionados for some bizarre reason that my ears can’t begin to understand.)
Yes, I agree. ( Pet Shop Boys ? No thanks. I raise you Steely Dan !)
Seriously though, fair enough. I just hated that slick vacuous 80s vibe at the time. I was too busy rummaging around in all things mid-late sixties and Prog. Still am come to think of it !
I love Imagination, and have been enjoying their TOTP appearances over the last few months on BBC4, including a terrific bit of miming by Leee to Just An Illusion last week.
Actually, I’m not really that snobby now, and see the fun and clear superiority to a lot of the pop dreck these days that Gary mentioned.
Not as good as Boney M though !
Ah, the mighty M! You do have decent taste after all, Rob.
But the three acts mentioned above by Gary are the cream of the crop, and should not be dismissed.
It is true that I have been known to get on down to…. Ra Ra Rasputin!
It’s not too great a stretch of my imagination to see you, Rob, all togged up as Russia’s greatest love machine and dancing round your yurt with a pair of foxy boho babushkas.
In one’s dreams, what with my sciatica…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWRFBsT_olQ
Here’s a dudier version for you
Doesn’t Babushka mean “grandmother”? Cool image!
At least we have Boney M, Mrs B ! x
(just not on the Ipod….)
Imagination’s slower songs were in my blind spot, but “Just An illusion” and “Music And Lights” are choons of the highest order… and produced by Swain & Jolley, producers du jour for a fortnight for Bananarama, Alison Moyet & the Spands (amazing they haven’t been mentioned in this thread yet…)
I was curious to see if all those memes we’ve noticed in 80s videos held true for other countries. So I took a rather fine song from 1984 by Miguel Bose: Sevilla
Lavish setting, a bit of running and even some flamenco dancing, but he keeps his white T on and his wardrobe is pretty restrained. But there are a lot of synths.
Appropriate choice of song for today. It’s currently 43 degrees Centigrade in Seville and not much cooler in the rest of the Iberian peninsular. I take my hat off to you Archie for having the energy to start a thread.
Just got to post another 80s track by Sr. Bose. I am rather a fan.