Name: GravyBoy
Age: The Romantic Era (Sagittarian)
Location: Let me just check my GPS (Gorgeous Positioning System)….Travelodge, Leeds Central
Height: 5’6″ (6’1″ in Cuban Heels)
Weight: 12.5 stone (17 stone in Cuban Heels)
Languages spoken: English and Love
Status: Married, but we have an understanding. I think.
Job: Innovation Sherpa
Gender: I don’t believe in genders or having an agenda
Ethnicity: I like Thai
Smoking Habits: Fish mainly
My limits are: Nutbush City and central Leeds
About Me:
It’s not about me, it’s about you. When we meet we will connect. In that connection I will make you feel that it’s all about you and only you. I will listen to your problems and let you know that solving them is all about you. I will listen to your hopes and dreams and let you know that making them real is all about you. I will remain a mystery. I will listen with all my senses: my mind, my eyes, my nose, my hands, my fingers, my lips, my tongue. In other words, not just with my ears.
Preferences and encounters I am open to:
You must be good with your hands. I struggle with jar lids. I want someone I can teach and who can teach me. The rules of Mornington Crescent and the new tax codes would be a good start. I like to take things slow. Then a bit faster. Then really really fast. And then stop. Then you leave. I am looking for a soul mate but you must have big tits. I know how to order from the Secret Menu at McDonalds. I like to experiment and try new and exotic things. Have you ever tasted Tartare Sauce?
‘Have you ever tasted Tartare Sauce’ is the creepiest thing ever read here.
Hilarious.
No, that’s HP
“What are you laughing at, Dad?”
“nothing…just something on the internet”
You had me at “Innovation Sherpa”…
Ah Bisto. You have stimulated my Lolfactory organ.
Just to put a downer on the whole thread, how obviously is this a publicity stunt. Be honest, had you heard of Ashley Madison before today?*
*I had but only because it pops up (ooer) when I visit “certain” internet sites.
I’ve done quite a lot of internet dating over the last few years, and this post made me laugh a long, hollow laugh of recognition. Splendid stuff, GravyBoy.
I would 🙂