I have been meaning to an update for some time, but inevitably life gets in the way.
I am on my break now & don’t have much time or privacy, but I will post an update either tonight or more realistically tomorrow on my day off.
Sorry if I seem a bit vague, but talking about negative things in my life doesn’t fill me with joy, but I will hopefully write a longish post.
Catch up soon.
What’s up, Jack? Don’t be a stranger, let it all blow! Better out than in. Seriously!
Between The Massive most shit has been experienced, and there is a breadth of professional skills to point you in directions if it’s needed. I’m pretty sure we are all sympathetic (some simply pathetic), and support and ways of thinking about life’s horrors will be forthcoming, as much as it’s possible.
I hope Jack doesn’t have inadvertent zap! issues.
Bloody hell, you found a picture of my maths teacher
i thought it was my ex wife
Not the eyes but
Thanks, Les.
I remember your disarming honesty when you opened up last year, possibly longer. Also the deluge of empathy and support. Have wondered and I hope the progress report offers hope.
All the best Les. Wish you all the best and shout if there is anything I can help with.
Keep going, Les. It must be a daily struggle. I hope you have the help you need.
What RP, LB and TL said.
Takes a lot of guts to air personal problems on a public forum as JTB did earlier this year, so hope the more irreverent posts above don’t push him deeper within himself.
He was asking recently about laser eye surgery…
Jack. When you’re ready please share. Stay well and trust this place to do the right thing 👊
I hadn’t meant to be irreverent sorry.
Whenever you’re ready to share Jack.
Keep at it. We’re here when you’re ready.
Thanks for all the messages of support on this here parish of ours & the private messages as well.
They are all gratefully received.
I think it would be best if a gave a brief summary. Long story cut short. Over a period of a little over 20 years I managed to develop a taste for prescription sleeping pills, I don’t know if I could say that I was addicted/ dependant on them, but I know that if I didn’t have any in the house I would get more than a bit worried.
I posted a much fuller explanation on here about 16 months ago, & the upshot of the feedback I got was that I should see my GP about it.
So, I contacted my clinic& they were not doing face to face consultations, however they would arrange for me to speak to a doctor over the phone.
After I spoke to him he advised that I should gradually reduce what I am taking with a view to stopping in a few months & I was prescribed the same tablets that I was taking but on a lower dosage.
So far so sensible.
That was it, no follow up call, no face to face appointment, nothing. I really did think that it was a case of out of sight, out of mind.
My overall health could be a lot better, I carry far too much weight & am diabetic.
I was first diagnosed with depression in the late 80s., but had been feeling terrible for several years before that.
It blows hot & cold, but even when I feel reasonably ok, I know that the darkness is just around the corner.
Depression really is a bastard.
I digress. After more than a year with no contact from my doctors surgery, I decided to try & get a face to face appointment as I was back on the full strength tablets.
I went for the appointment & was asked if I would be ok being seen initially by 2 trainee doctors with a senior doctor coming in for the last 20 minutes or so. I had/ have no problem with that & I was with them for over an hour, several times coming to tears.
I told them everything, right down to the soreness in my wedding tackle, scratches on my leg that had not healed up in 4 months, & general lethargy.
Things changed more or less straight away & i have seen a wellness coach & will be seeing him again.
It’s very early days, but while I can’t say that I am feeling a lot better physically, I do feel a bit more positive mentally. How long that lasts remains to be seen.
There was a post on here from about a year ago & someone mentioned that they wondered how I was getting on & I did mean to do an update then, but life just got in the way.
As I said the start of this post, I find this corner of the internet a good place to be. I know being here is a force for good in my life & I am grateful for all the messages of support.
As ever, I apologise for such a self indulgent, rambling post.
I really hope that I don’t leave it so long before I post about this again.
Someone commented yesterday about people on this site being friends who haven’t met. I think that sums up exactly how I feel.
Thank you all very much for putting up with me.
Les (JTB).
Absolutely no need to apologise – we’ve all got buttons we can click to leave if we find a thread subject too difficult; what’s great about this place is that a lot of us actually care about our fellow human beings, and know how powerful is the notion that a problem shared is a problem, well, at least diminished somewhat.
I’ve found that getting help from the nhs sometimes needs one to overcome what you might call the activation energy – like a chemical reaction that needs a little push to get started, and then proceeds under its own drive. It sounds like you’ve managed to both summon up and then apply that activation energy, with really positive results. I look forward to hearing further progress reports, and I’m sure I’m not alone in saying that I’m rooting for you to power on through to a much more satisfactory place.
Journey of a thousand miles, and all that – you’re on the way. All the best for your next step!
My advice would be to join a gym, get a routine and go as often as you can. You might need advice on exercises not to do if you are carrying excess weight. Exercise is great for mental and physical health and there will be people there who will be happy to chat to you.
I was a gym member for a couple of years but what was better for me was a regular walk. It helps that we are close to the sea, which I never tire of, but these days, bluetooth headsets mean it’s easy to listen to music, podcasts etc without the tangle of wires. if you need a distraction. I had two routes: half an hour and an hour, depending on how much time I had. It’s cheaper than the gym and some people are intimidated by all the gear and fit gym bunnies. The walk needs to be brisk though, you should notice your heart rate rising a bit. Gets you out of the house too which can be a good thing.
I have to go to the gym for health reasons, but I do love it. I probably should be intimidated by the fit gym bunnies, but am too old to care, and I really think they just see me as an old bloke so no threat. I do wish I had some nice walks nearby, but I live in the centre of town.
Les. One point. Your posts are never self indulgent or rambling. They are honest, insightful, funny, interesting and helpful. Thank you for posting.
Leedsboy is correct, Les.
Nothing but good wishes from me. Each of us has things to carry of varying weights and sizes and you’re right that finding a pool of like minded and good souls is a valuable solace.
“I find this corner of the internet a good place to be” – Amen to that. I’m just checking in here myself this very moment as a respite from a stressful time at work!
Glad you are doing better, Biscuit.
Hi, Les – it’s really good to hear that things have improved, even if it’s taken longer than it should have done, to get some proper follow-up. Worth a lot to feel that the professionals are actually listening this time; and they’ve now signposted some proper help.
Best wishes, as always.
Hang in there Jack, you’re a good man.
Les – good to hear things are moving in the right direction. Keep going man.
And stop apologising and get it out there. And thank you for feeling comfortable enough to share it here.
No-ones judging (much) so feel free to empty it – after all the old cliche “a problem shared as a problem reduced by 50%” is true.
I would usually recommend the debut album by The Damned on full blast followed by a blast of Ian Dury’s New Boots And Panties.
But if that don’t work, please feel free to shout at me in private message thingy.
Or indeed share (if you feel you are able to) here amongst the Afterword Support Network (TMFTL?)
I was considering ending my post by saying that the best Slade album is Slade in Flame, but I didn’t want to be frivolous.
Besides, we all know that it is Slade alive.
Good on ya, Les!! A good taste in music and I’d admire you even more……. But.
Thanks for posting Les. Whenever anyone posts like this here I hope it’s helpful for them. But also, it’s so helpful for all of us. Your honesty, courage, and the fact that it sounds like, with small steps, you’re taking care of yourself, is inspirational for me and I’m sure many others here. It makes us all better. Thank you.
^What Blue said.
It’s definitely helpful to express support and say something rather than nothing at all when someone opens up about the hard time they’ve been having. It is hard to say that you’ve been struggling. It shows strength to do so. To seek help and see that things can get better is a big deal. It sounds positive to me and worth sharing.
Keep it up, fella. The first steps are the hardest.