With live footie now on the horizon I was thinking how they can give matches some much needed atmosphere (where’s Russ Abbot when you need him?).
It got me thinking that the analogy is the age of silent cinema and the cinema organist or pianist who plays along to the movie.
What each team needs is an ‘in residence’ band or artist who can do that – and think of all those currently out of work musicians who would jump at the chance to earn a few bob on the side whilst watching a match. But who would be the right fit for your team?
Rotherham United would need something pretty straightforward – there would be no space for any ephemeral ‘tippy-tappy’ Brian Eno style whisperings. It would need to be both emotional and uplifting to echo that ever present feeling of optimism but coupled with some slabs of down to earth realism and a fair bit of self-deprecating humor. There would need to be the occasional ‘long ball’ moment – a quick rising chord sequence which would more often than not die down quickly and meander around a bit. Very occasionally something clever and unexpected maybe a key change and jazzy piano run.
My choice would be a combination of Vangelis (in his Chariots of Fire style and none of your atonal Beaubourg stuff please) coupled with John Shuttleworth. Vangelis will of course have samples of the Chuckle Brothers, clinking beer glasses and the Grimethorpe Colliery Band within his arsenal of keyboards.
I think this could work well. I may pitch it to Sky.
So what about your teams?
Reading could have local boy (not local anymore) Mike Oldfield.
The slight element of fear and foreboding at the start of Tubular Bells would suit the Madjeski Stadium.
Never quite sure what is going to happen, but you know it will be a drawn out affair, but always with that eerie backdrop
Crewe Alex should have Sister Rosetta Tharpe
‘This train is bound for glory’ would be bang on for The Railwaymen.
I like the link of trains and Crewe and admire the boundless optimism that nothing but less than ‘glory’ lies ahead !
Not forgetting her standing on a Manchester railway station in 64 for a televised concert.
Good remember. Chorlton-cum-Hardy IIRC.
On a slight tangent already, I’m surprised there isn’t piped in crowd noise when/if the home team scores.
This might be even better
https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2020/05/yamahas-remote-cheerer-brings-fan-applause-back-to-empty-stadiums/
That looks excellent!
Blackpool should actually use the old silent movie pianist/organist, that would be brilliant!
Those teams in relegation or promotion positions would need several options. For Leeds it could be We Are The Champions, or perhaps Let’s Go Round Again (if we play all our games and “Leeds It Up” again :D)
Actually this banger would do (since we have been singing it all season.. “don’t you know going up”)*
.
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*it’s the hope that kills you
For Leeds it can only be the Aguliera’s Dirty…
I get it. You don’t like Leeds United. Here’s an idea for you though : try suggesting one for your own team (presumably you have one), rather than rolling out the tiredest cliche in football. Again.
Oooh, fight fight fight!
Any excuse…
“Starting next week at the charity shield”. 😄
A wonderful book and film.
Sheen is so good. Giles was way too tall though.
First game I ever attended in 1972 was Cardiff v Leeds at Ninian Park in the FA Cup, I was 9, there were 49,999 other people there. Giles got a brace.
Sprake, Madeley, Cooper, Bremner, Charlton, Hunter, Lorimer, Clarke, Jones, Giles, Gray
Decent.
My first game was on February 27, 1973, I’d just turned 9, and it was Sunderland vs Manchester City at Roker Park in the FA Cup 5th round replay. It was voted the greatest ever game at Roker Park by Sunderland fans, so there’s a great one to start with. A brace for Billy Hughes, one for Vic Halom. My second game was the 6th round cup tie against Luton. 2-0. Watson and Guthrie. You may sense where I’m going with this, Dai.
May 5th 1973. Sunderland vs Leeds, FA Cup final. Same Leeds side as you saw, except for Harvey in for Sprake, and Trevor Cherry for Charlton. I’m there, as are one or two other north easterners, and we know what happened. I watch it every year at some point, and it still seems new and improbable, and therefore suggesting all is possible. Yes, young Ritchie Pitt should have been sent off after a couple of minutes for upending Sniffer Clarke, but hey, different times, and I defy anyone to say the mackems didn’t ultimately deserve it. Jim Montgomery’s ‘double save’, Wee Bobby Kerr, smallest and lightest FA cup captain ever, running rings round Revie’s mafia with the almost as tiny Billy Hughes. Ian Porterfield marshalling the midfield, Dave ‘They shall not pass’ Watson, Ron Guthrie sending the ball out to Neasden when the need arose. Every man jack playing his part. And Bob Stokoe’s raincoat and trilby.
Fantastic stuff @barry-blue
Bob Stokoe was 43 when they won the cup. 43. Looked about 60 I’d say. One of the great memories of the FA Cup , almost as good as “Osborne 1-0!”
Cheers, Freddy. Stoke had won the cup with Newcastle as a player, so to cross over to the loathed rivals and become a folk hero was a feat indeed.
Great post
That’s the first FA Cup Final I remember with any clarity. My first game was Manchester City v Leicester City, November 23rd, 1974. Dennis Tueart was playing that day, and scored, and Dave Watson signed later. Both players from that 1973 Sunderland Cup winning side went on to be fan favourites in the City side I watched in the second half of the decade. Sad to hear the recent announcement of Dave Watson’s neurodegenerative disease.
You got Tueart and Watson, we got Tony Towers and some money. No wonder Ster-ker didn’t stay for too long after that.
Yeah, nice stuff, was a very memorable day. Leeds had of course won it the year I saw them. It is funny, they seemed to be in the final every year, but I just checked wikipedia, that was the only time they ever won it. Otherwise that period of relative domination (67-74) produced 2 of their (only) 3 titles, a League Cup and a couple of minor European trophies.
Don’t forget the two European trophies we were cheated out of by bent paid off referees.
AFC Wimbledon really do run out to this Lalo Schifrin masterpiece, which I think is yet another very cool thing about us.
Meanwhile, that club stealing franchise in the distant Buckinghamshire new town can have this charming ditty
Norwich City need a reformation of the band that played as the Titanic went down!
or Status Quo
It’d have to be an light music conductor like Max Jaffa, Mantovani or James Last directing the music – perhaps a piccolo sound when a nippy little winger shimmies past a hapless defender, or a swan whistle sound when there’s a goal kick. A thick-set player could be accompanied by a tuba when he is in possession. Substitutions and bookings can be enhanced by a lone muted trumpet going wa wa wa waaa.
The richer clubs could get a studio overlord like Brian Eno to curate ambient, flowing music while teams slowly vie for mental dominance in midfield – quickly changing pace to a full Ibizan doof doof doof when a counter attack is launched. Those clubs on a tight budget could simply have classical music on Spotify, matching the mood of play. The Planets Suite by Holst must be the go-to platter here – Jupiter for when the game is joyful and free-flowing, Mars for when play is cautious and tense.
I’d possibly watch a football match just for that musical accompaniment.
Possibly add a slide trombone for a sliding tackle.
Hubert, that is indeed a fabulous idea. Surprised it’s not a Two Ronnie sketch actually.
What else can we add…a drum roll when the keeper is running up to do a goal kick?
A vibraslap for a header
I love it when you talk dirty (and I own a vibraslap.)
Sadly Ronnie Hazlehurst is no longer around to provide anything new.
What a wonderful idea this is. Bravo!
Hitchin Town are very lovable in a slightly blurred way, have excellent cheap cask ale in the bar and judging by the players they are very familiar with it. There’s not much pace on hand, rather a comfy, steady roll. So I claim The Wurzels.
Norwich City’s defenders have been socially distancing all season so I reckon “Don’t stand so close to me” should be played at Sparrow Road.
I’d like to think the artisans at the Etihad would employ Ennio Morricone as their in residence composer using a full symphony orchestra on match days with a new 90 minute piece for each one.
Pink Floyd at Anfield (Fearless)