Quo up to the first live album had it in spades. Rossi knows his way around the pentatonic scales and was very nifty. And If you want to play Quo songs just like the record you’re going to need to stretch your h […]

That’s great! Go and sing your heart out.

Ooch! That’s a double-ooch! I hope all is well.

Oh, don’t worry. I look like George Clooney. I keep telling everyone. ImagIne Ocean’s Eleven era George emerging from the disabled toilet at an M&S. With a lumbar herniation. That’s me.

To be clear,I’m not using them for a larf because I need to use a walking stick. My need is genuine if temporary compared to a truly disabled person.

My wife is currently invalid after a huge operation some years ago. She can’t walk very far and uses a stick. Registered Disabled. She’s grateful for the proliferation of Disabled toilets. She has a radar key […]

Biffa Bacon, yes. With a smidge of Aldridge Prior. It seems the guns have fallen silent. Sheesh. Cue the onstage Beanotown fighting (arms, legs and fists emerging from a dust cloud) by the final Wembley date.

Oh my goodness yes. Fud O’Donnell. Should be up there in the pantheon with James Jamerson, Jaco, Geddy Lee, Stanley Clarke, Lemmy and Paul McCartney. I bet they never mistook yoghurt for hair gel. Or w […]

I think I like him but he’s just TOO much. Every tic and shout and aside blare out constantly in his straight comedies. Now and again within that onslaught a little real laugh will stand out. A look, a g […]

Oh. OK. I’m all for a few major chords, the occasional 7th and some onstage attitude but when they were all the rage I was mystified. All I heard was lot of plodding bollocks. I piss on no one’s chi […]

I’m doing it now. May aswell. There’s nothing on telly..

Post it, man! You can’t say things like that and leave us hanging.

Old school. Nothing wrong with that. My long-departed mother would sometimes have us all in kinks with her ridiculous impression of Jimmy Durante and one of his catchphrases. ‘Hatcha-matacha! My nose is l […]

Les Dawson as Cosmo Smallpiece. Goes without saying you couldn’t get away with that today.

Uncle Mort

@Freddy Steady Just thought of another one. ‘Cor. Wants a bleedin’ menu now’ A muttering from Ronnie Barker as the truculent waiter in The Complete Rook sketch from The Two Ronnies I mutter this under my br […]

That’ll do, Private Fraser. 😁

‘We were always working to hairline tolerances’ A line from the glorious ‘Tutti Frutti’ spoken by the dodgy Eddie Clockerty, manager of The Majestics and played by Richard Wilson. Delivered with a sigh as […]

@Jaygee Hello, my darleeen! 😁

Loads. Too many to list here without wasting an hour or so collating them. Oddly, nay worryingly, I’ve recently adopted a Charlie Drake voice to say ‘yaiss, quait naice’ instead of ‘yes, quite nice’ God knows why.