Venue:
A multiplex near you
Date: 30/01/2026
OK I haven’t seen this, but it’s interesting to see how well this important documentary is doing. Amazon have reportedly put in 75 million dollars for this. I am seriously considering cancelling my Prime membership, I didn’t decide to fund this garbage
Apparently it is opening in 100 screens in the UK and a couple of days ago allegedly only 7 tickets had been sold in the whole country!
Some review said that it will have people heading towards the exits in panic, even if it is being shown on a plane đ
The audience:
Approximately 0
It made me think..
No it didn’t
I saw a comment that if they showed it on a plane people would still walk out.
Good gag that, worth repeating đ
One more reason to never use Amazon. Other retailers who don’t treat their workers like slaves and allow union representation are available.
Fuck Bezos. Iâm not saying I never use Amazon, itâs difficult, but I always try to find an alternative. Actually, itâs not just Bezos, Amazonâs whole business model is awful for workers, consumers and other businesses.
It’s not going to bomb. The MAGA heartland will prop it up.
It is going to bomb
@tiggerlion Previous MAGA orientated films have bombed, for example Michael Bayâs film about the Benghazi incident, which tried hard to pin blame on Hillary Clinton.
Excellent film though, all politics aside. Similar to Alex Garland’s recent Warfare, but better.
You’re right, cracking film.
I don’t know about his politics (IIRC, Hilary’s not mentioned in the film, and any criticism of the administration is fairly low-key), but Michael Bay really knows how to direct an action film.
Thankfully I don’t have any first-hand experience, but the action in 13 Hours is what I imagine combat is really like: chaotic, random, and very, very loud. I’d include it among the best war films of the past few years.
If you want something similar, check out Rod Lurie’s The Outpost, another true story of a small band of US troops in the thick of it.
I only remember the politics as generic “suits don’t understand what it’s like out here” stuff but I may have forgotten that bit.
Watched The Outpost on your recommendation, Darling. I’d never heard of it. Excellent film!
Glad it’s found another fan. It passed most people by, but it’s very well done.
And it must be said, Scott Eastwood looks exactly like his dad at that age. You’d think an actor with his Hollywood looks might be a bit jarring in the context of such gritty realism, but credit to him he blended in well. I saw him play a major role in another film a while ago, called The Haunting Of Black Wood. A very low budget, independent, scifi/time travel film. Good film, starts slow, but soon got much better than I was expecting.
Surely the most obscene thing in all of this is – Amazon, Disney & Paramount entered a bidding war just to win the right to shoot the damn thing. Amazon bid 40 million(!!) dollars and won, the most expensive documentary ever. Melania was “paid” 28 million (!!) dollars and had “full directorial control”. You really couldn’t make this shit up …
There’s spite watches, and then there’s sitting through this.
I am guessing will make the Megan Netflix stuff look like Citizen Kane.
But which plucky Afterworder will agree to sit through this so we can read their review….
I saw this on Bluesky and I dun a lol:
Pro Tip: Audio engineers, if you want that cavernous, empty warehouse, John Bonham drum sound, set your kit up in any cinema where the Melania movie is playing.
đđ»đđ»đđ»
I went to an afternoon showing of Shutter Island about 15 years ago. The multiplex was walking distance from my apartment in Toronto and I had nothing else on. I was the only person in the cinema! It was great, I could try many different seats for optimum viewing/listening position and the film was pretty good.
I saw Hannah And Her Sisters under similar circumstances. Fewer laughs than I expected from a Woody Allen movie.
I prefer his earlier, funny stuffâŠ
On reflection, that line only works if youâve seen Stardust Memories.
Allen himself paraphrasing what critics might say. I love his early films, but for me he peaked with less obviously funny stuff like The Purple Rose of Cairo, Hannah, Radio Days and Crimes and Misdemeanours. Still more laughs in these than most âcomediesâ though
Indeed – aliens land to tell him that they preferred his earlier funny stuff. I do like Stardust Memories, but it doesnât get mentioned much. I suppose itâs on the cusp between the comedies and the more serious ones and falls between the two stools.
I like it too, yes itâs a transitional film
I went to see The Missionary (M Palin film) I’d been to the local cinema before and I was the only one there. This time I came prepared with a bottle of wine and a glass.
Again no one else there came out pissed and can’t remember how the film ended.
I remember seeing Au Pair Girls at the ABC in George Street Oxford. Maybe 3 people in the audience, one of them in a raincoat, it wasn’t me,. Featuring Richard O’Sullivan of Man About The House fame, Gabrielle Drake in a state of undress. They don’t make them like that anymore. Brit soft porn, a strange compote of talents.
Great soundtrack by Roger Webb, though – available from Trunk Records (download only, the vinyl sold out long ago).
I was there for the music of course.
FYI @diddley_farquar A “friend”, has told me that if you have Sky TV there’s an odd channel called Together (170 on my Sky Ireland box) that seems to show that astoundingly bad film every few weeks. It really is hard to believe how bad and dated it is to a sophisticated modern viewer apparently. Ms. Drake was certainly a fine looking woman but obviously you’d only be listening to the music.
We don’t have Sky here in Sweden. Well Sky Showtime but that’s not the same. However I think it’s worth investigating for the music and because Nick Drake, you know the connection. I need to delve deeper than just his work, clearly.
I remember a New Yorker cartoon – a huge, empty cinema with one man sitting in it. Another man walks along his row, gets to him, and says, Excuse me…
Hannah and her sisters. My favourite
Shitter Island is an object lesson in how to signal the twist from very near to the start of the movie. Just like the book it’s based upon. Really poor work.
I guess I donât have your supreme intelligence, as I was taken in (but I hadnât read the book)
In the light of this debate I watched Shutter Island, which in turn led me to watch Stonehearst Asylum, which is exactly the same film but very different. Both feature Ben Kingsley as a progressive minded doctor in charge of a remote lunatic asylum where it’s not always clear who are the staff and who are the patients. I definitely preferred Stonehearst Asylum. Martin Scorsese’s flashy direction and Leonardo DiCaprio’s “angry face” acting got on my nerves, plus Stonehearst Asylum has the better story (courtesy of Edgar Allen Poe).
I’ve been alone in the cinema on three occasions. Rather a strange feeling.
These were the films that I saw:
1) Roxanne (1987) – with Steve Martin
2) Never Let Me Go (2010) – with Carey Mulligan
3) Nebraska (2013) – dir. Alexander Payne
As a teenager who hated school, I’d regularly take a day off and spend it in the cinema.
Actually; two cinemas (both multiplexes) that were close to each other – I’d look at the cinema ads for both and make a schedule for the films I wanted to see and in which order I’d have to watch them to be able to get from one cinema to the other, and back, and not miss a minute of film.
Most of the early screenings was just me in an empty cinema, and I loved it. And many times when it was the first screening of a film that wasn’t a high profile item, it would be me and two or three film critics with their note pads and pens that lit up in the dark when they wanted to note something down. Often they would “discreetly” turn to look at my reactions, to get the sense of how “ordinary people” might react to it…
Oddly, the first Terminator had that kind of premiĂšre in Stockholm (I guess it took a while for it to become a hit), and I was there for it. I enjoyed it until the last part of the film, where the Terminator refuses to die no matter what – I started to laugh out loud at how ridiculous I thought it was. The critics turned and stared.
I would also at that time enjoy going to the cinema in summer heatwaves – to find a cool spot to sit for a while, but it had the added bonus of often being completely empty.
The only films I preferred watching with a large audience were silly spectacular stuff, like Bond-films or Indiana Jones etc, oh; and horror movies, of course.
The silly flicks got better by the audience shouting out jokes and advice, and the horror films got scarier – usually the scary part was getting jumpscared by audience members suddenly screaming hysterically when I wasn’t expecting it…
I guess Amazon’s own Dr Evil must have paid the money to buy influence – this is not unusual. NASA needs spaceships, and he’s got one that put Katy Perry into space. This would of course be an affront to Elon, who also has spaceships, which work sometimes, but he needs NASA to get to Mars where he can create his master race.
Once it becomes apparent that Bruce Springsteen is a contender to take the orange turd’s soiled throne, then the big tech companies will start throwing money over to him. Sony already paid him quite a bit.
When Jimmy Carter became President in 1976 his peanut business was put into the hands of trustees to avoid a conflict of interests. Sounds a pretty pro-American thing to do.
I wonder how much money the flumps have made since 2016? Zillions.
The embodiment of anti-America I’d have thought, certainly anti the American public.
I won’t be watching this film, but then my local cinema has very high standards and it’s unlikely they’d go anywhere near it in the first place.
As far as I know, @deramdaze, what Jimmy Carter did used to be fairly standard practice for a newly- elected president. And quite rightly so.
And the US is not the only country which has measures like this.
I cannot understand how so many people are turning a blind eye to the way that Trump is using the presidency to line his own pocket.
I would like to hope that there are more and more Republicans who are questioning the MAGA America that Trump is creating.
Showing a shameless contempt for the USA’s loyal allies in Europe while cosying up to that war-monger,Putin…. What is going on?
Apparently it’s a sell out in Slovenia. So there’s that….
I actually phoned up my local cinema complex to ask what time the screening is.
They said âwell, when can you get here?â.
âCanât believe they released the Epstein files to cover up the Melania movieâ – a wag on Threads.
Good one. There are a lot of good jokes in this thread.
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2026/jan/30/melania-review-trump-film-is-a-gilded-trash-remake-of-the-zone-of-interest
Like Hannah And Her Sisters, I’d rather hoped the critics would be funnier.
In the review I read, Mike Tyson is in it, she likes listening to Michael Jackson, and she dances to YMCA with flump.
To quote a line in ‘All The President’s Men’…
“These people are not clever”.
… oh, and Madonna simply LURVES Margate (it’s Fab, and she’d know what Fab is) and so she is unlikely to ever leave it, because why would she? It’s SOOOO her.
See above quote.
Madonna?