Earlier I browsed here in Athens in desultory fashion through a box of tatty old LPs and came upon some sort of Matt Bianco effort. My first thought was ‘bunch of wankers’ with reference to that 80s Saturday morning TV phone-in. I chuckled inwardly. That’s all they are to me now, reduced over time to a phrase, an insult. Nothing more. See also twat in the hat Jamiriquai. Nevermind all the hits, the tours, the press articles and interviews. Just a phrase, at least for me and certain others. Who else though?
Matt Bianco you’re a bunch of w****rs
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Fair play to Aswad: they did some good songs. They will, however, always be the band who were asked “do you like twats?” on a BBC phone in. They laughed, in fairness. Toby Anstis looked hurt and opined that there will always be a few bad apples in the barrel….I cannot, sadly, disentangle Aswad from their love of the aforementioned lady-based pleasure area.
Aswad are all from London. They wouldn’t have understood ‘twats’ as referring to lady bits. They would have thought the caller meant ‘strike’ or ‘hit’, as in “Doni has just twatted the ball for four”.
Uh?
The word twat has been in use for lady parts since the 17th century. How do we know this? Books. Published and written… in London.
You’re a Northerner, aren’t you. Southerners see ‘twat’ differently, believe.
Are you calling Danny Dyer a northerner? ….mmmkay…
David Cameron famously used ‘twat’ and was surprised to discover that it has the same meaning as cunt, and is only a bit less frowned upon.
Only really frowned upon these days when directly used as a slang term for “the ladypart”. As a general term of insult* it rates a long way lower than calling someone of either sex a c**t.
*Never used on females as a general insult, it seems. Strange how the many bodypart-based insults in English vernacular are never applied to women, with one deeply-offensive exception.
The Ordinary Boys – their first album is actually pretty good, but their entire existence is now defined by lead singer bloke Preston marrying the non-entity/”pretend celeb” on Celebrity Big Brother and then walking off of Never Mind The Buzzcocks
(in Preston’s defence, Simon Amsetll was being an utter twat though)
First episode of That’s Justice! – “God bless Matt Bianco!”
Re the OP title.
We’re allowed to wank on the main page but not to fuck?
Interesting…
Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice had almost exactly the same conversation once…..
Oh, very good, Dave. Have an up.
Wankers – welcome at the Afterword.
Ivor Biggun – only known for the one song…
That is indeed interesting…
Is Weller at Glastonbury this weekend?
Give us a f*****g chance, yer w****rs
Nowt wrong with “Get Out Of Your Lazy Bed..”
Matt Bianco seemed to attract embarrassment. I remember the lead singer Mark Reilly getting into a really pathetic fist fight with the bass player from The Fine Young Cannibals after the FYC member splattered a cake over his head on some live Euro pop TV show. Reilly also received a black eye from an irate Geoff Deane of Modern Romance after purposely poring a drink over Deane’s suit during an argument about Blue Rondo a la Turk.
Bloody hell, John Adams should write an opera about that
It did bring the lovely Basia Trzetrzelewska to greater public notice. I have both her early solo albums which I loved a lot, although admittedly haven’t played in a long time…
I don’t really write operas. I’m more into writing Soul, Funk and Sinking Yacht Rock.
Oh, you mean the other one…
Caravan Pop is far more interesting than yacht rock: the sound of a wet week in a campsite at Cayton Bay in the 70s.
I remember the wretched Five Star on a children’s phone in programme. One astute youngster asked “Why are you so f*****g crap”?
Eliot Fletcher was his name – he really goes for it
The Matt Bianco guy wins it just by virtue of the fact he starts by saying “Hello, Matt Bianco….” – and the band just laugh it off to their credit
Jo Boxers. Boxerbeat was a catchy single to be fair, but I remember them more for being forcibly removed with extreme prejudice from The State club approximately 30 seconds after ‘hitting’ the bar. Only little fellas, the bouncers had one Jo in each hand
Ah, the JoBoxers. The record company blurb would have us kids believe that they lived as a gang around the docks wearing dungarees – living for today and on the edge, with nothing but their dreams and their music.
See also Roman Holliday.
No-one will convince me this tune isn’t a great deal of fun.
Like a Cliff Richard movie redone by dungaree-era Dexies. Nearly everything I detest in one neat package.
Harsh. But I’m rewatching the video to try and spot Una Stubbs and Melvyn Hayes.
Melvyn Hayes in my brain. Lately things don’t seem the same.
I liked the two singles I remember- but the PR.bollocks that came with it was total, total bollocks and put me right off.
If Dig Wayne hadn’t appeared, then presumably the other lads would have continued as Vic Godard’s Subway Sect.
Great sparky piece of pop and an endearingly silly video. It’s got the line in it “I’m free and easy and I’m feelin’ Jake”. Anyone got any idea what feeling Jake means? It’s always bothered me since I heard the single back in the day.
Could it mean he’s running his hands up and down Jake’s body?
jake — Slang meaning “excellent, fine” is from 1914, American English, of unknown origin
Well that’s solved a 36 year old mystery for me, thanks!
Guessing a probable origin from rhyming slang. Derived from some forgotten person whose first name was Jake, Jack, Jacques or John.
Originally a term for the kakatorium as used by Shakespeare in King Lear.
My lord, if you’ll give me leave, I will tread this unbolted villain into mortar and daub the walls of a jakes with him.
First band I had the misfortune to see in my Freshers Week at Bradford University in 1983.
Still shit.
Mark Smith’s entire career is adequately summed up, for me, in The Hep’s immortal ‘a man shouting in a bus station’ review 🙂
Whereas Robert merely whines in alleyways.
Curiousity Killed The Cat: how could they have ever foreseen that thirty or more years on, their name would form part of a discussion that focussed on its rhyming slang quality?
There’s a young man treading the pub gig boards around Cambridge under the name Max Bianco.
I want to see him just so that I can shout “Wanker!” but he’s probably too young to get the reference.
Sigue Sigue Sputnik = Martin “Frightwig” Degville. Future of rock n roll my arse.
“Why spoil it all by actually releasing a record?”
Friend of mine had two cats. One called Sigue Sigue and one called Sputnik. That’s all they are to me now. Two deceased cats who used to make me suffer with my allergy. Reduced to that.
And yet…. Sigue Sigue Sputnik (the group not the cats) did look, and for a short period sounded like they came from the future. The Korova Milk Bar house band.
On the blog page this is what I can read of the OP (which considering the title is pretty funny…) :
Earlier I browsed here in Athens in desultory fashion through a box of tatty old LPs and came
I’m sure other Afterworders have had the same experience in record shops! 🙂
Yes, there it was The Beatles butchers sleeve album. Unfortunately I ruined it in my state of arousal.
That’s why they put those plastic covers on.
And on the records too, oho!