I want the sorts of faces that induce actual screaming. Nausea. Involuntary bowel evacuation.
Making small children cry: the ugliest bands in pop.
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Musings on the byways of popular culture
What a moment for imgur to pack up on us.
I’m nominating The Who.
A midget. Two – count em – TWO guys with a face like a bag of dicks. A bass player who looks like that moustachioed sex-case of a woodwork teacher you had in middle school. Surely unassailable.
A bit unfair to Moon who looked misleading cherubic until the booze took hold.
Also unfair on a whole swathe of early 80s NWONHM bands whose entire line-ups were composed of pale, spotty, badly barbered eyesores.
Ah but no. He looked like the front of a Morris Minor.
Radiohead. Don’t fight it, people.
Oh lord. Yes. Thom Yorke looks like Edd the Duck. The Greenwoods are a pair of marine curiosities (Colin’s a guppy, Jonny is a seahorse). Phil is a fetish robot constructed at the whim of a mental Japanese billionaire. Even handsome Ed’s got scary teeth.
I always thought Thom Yorke was a fantastic actor until someone pointed out it was Tilda Swinton
I fancy them both equally.
Actual lol at this.
I always thought it showed spectacular self awareness that ver Head included the word “Radio” in their own name. Under no illusions.
Question: if Thom Yorke had looked like peak Robert Redford, would Radiohead have “worked”?
No, because he wouldn’t have had so much to whine and mewl about in the first place. Kid A would have sounded like Bombalurina.
I feel duty-bound to mention “Approved by the Motors”, where Virgin Records had to change the album cover design after a few months because the band were apparently so ugly, the record simply wasn’t selling – despite the presence of a big hit single, “Airport”.
They had to change the album cover because it made people wince in pain. It’s the only album SLEEVE used at Guantanamo to force confessions. How about Supergrass though but?
Yer man on the right had his hair cut by the council.
This made me laugh out loud in a meeting today. Oops.
Apropos of nothing, has anyone ever seen Insane Clown Posse and the Sleaford Mods in the same Room at the same time?
https://imgur.com/a/DHanz
https://imgur.com/a/wOipc
Mr Juggalo Fucker.
Hang on. A late entry: Iron Maiden. They are a bunch of terribly, *terribly* ugly lads.
Isn´t Steve bass a bit of a looker? I mean, except for the hair and that.
Yes. Yes. He’s gorgeous.
http://assets.blabbermouth.net/media/steveharrisironmaiden2015bandpromo_638.jpg
From memory Lynyrd Skynrd or in fact any southern rock band.
Supergrass.
Great band but they had to have a ‘no milk’ policy backstage for fear of curdling
Damn! Beaten by one lousy minute!
The Pogues.
None of the band are that bad, but Shane does upset the batting average
We tied that time!
What a competition we are in HP. Next one wins! 🙂
The Pogues.
Them.
And also the Animals.
What an unshaggable lot.
Jethro Tull: Exhibit A in The Crown vs. Beards.
The If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body Would You Spontaneously Vomit Up Your Own Spleen Hitmakers Dr Hook were notoriously pugly. People attending their shows used to wear eyepatches, like the gargoyloid singer, but on both eyes.
Check this cover out if you dare https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sloppy_Seconds_(album). So hideous Silvia wouldn’t even talk to them on the phone.
A pedant writes: If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body was the Bellamy Brothers. Mind, they were no oil paintings either.
2-Live Crew were always on about getting laid – presumably with the finest sexual partners money can buy.
Ask yourselves this question: who is the best looking member of Elbow?
Answer: there isn’t one.
Indeed, GG punching well above his weight with the fragrant Rachael HubbahubbaIDefinitelyWould Stirling.
In this instance, the term “well above his weight” seems both cruel and redundant.
✋
Yes, a man with Diana Rigg for his mother in law.
Much as I love them, Super Furry Animals.
Extras from a Kevin The Teenager sketch. No wonder Gruff wears that helmet a lot.
You have to credit The Handsome Beasts with a measure of self-awareness for their name, always assuming that it was meant to be ironic (on think we’re on safe ground saying that it was).
NWOBHM stalwarts Samson. If you’re in a band with a moustachioed cocker spaniel, Bruce “Moose” Dickinson and a man in a fucking GIMP MASK, you’d fancy your chances of being the good looking one. But no, the bassist managed to come in fifth in a four-dog race.
Oasis. They all look as though they have some kind of genetic abnormality, a different one each.
Happy Mondays. Their name is misleading, their appearance isn’t. I’ve never inspected all of their bodies but my guess is the teeth to tattoo ratio is perilously low. Avoid after dark. Or during daylight hours.
Can’t believe no one’s mentioned Dr Feelgood.
Slade. Beano characters come to life wearing platform boots.
That’s a very good call. Noddy’s leering and sideburns, Jim and Don just looking rough, and Dave, dear Dave, what can we say about him? Except that I have read of him described as both ‘a mad explosion of coypu and Christmas tree’ and looking ‘like your mum after a five hour gin-bender’.
Massive actual LOL
Mud were pluglier.
Apart from the blonde ringlet-ed pretty boy guitarist, who was fancied something rotten by an aging gay bloke that I knew at the time.
The lead singer of The Goombay Dance Band.
There was a godawful 90’s one hit wonder girl band called Vanilla who were rumoured to have been the result of a bet between 2 music biz types to see if they could get a group of really (ahem) homely looking girls to have a chart hit.
Is it truly fair to describe all these women as “really homely”?
One member is not unattractive, but I can’t remember which as I can’t endure watching and hearing that bloody song.
Second from left when they line up. But they’re all lovely girls.
If you see my comment below I think you’ll find Mr Schmoove has spoken.
If there’s an ounce of truth in that (and I doubt it) the two “music biz types” should be taken out and thrashed to death with back issues of Spare Rib.
Boo! I’d cheerfully knob the lot of them.
I think I’ve lowered the tone of this thread. Go me!!!
So long as you’d do it cheerfully. That’s the main thing.
With a smile and a song!
Preferably not ^ that one howevs.
Isn’t this why guys start up bands though? It’s generally not driven by the creative urge is it? More like the procreative urge amirite?
PS i knew this thread would be funnier than the “sexy” thread.
The sexy thread doesn’t need to be funny. That’s how it works.
👏👏👏
Chapeau
Slade were a right bunch of mingers.
Oh, I don’t know – Jim was kinda cherubic.
I give you Sweden´s Bob Hund. Even their mums, etc…
http://www.vinjerock.no/media/15607/bob_hund_2012.jpg
Christ. That looks like a mugshot from a news story about online grooming.
Swedes have form in this area.
https://donstuff.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/gert-jonnys-boy-band-of-the-70s.jpg
I am deeply impressed that you know about Gert-Jonnys, Mike. Classic Swedish dansband.
But for the full horror you need to listen to them too.
Here they are with I never dared say anything to mummy, a song about not daring to tell your mum that you are interested in girls.
I cannot tell a lie, I didn’t. I had a dim memory of some Scandy horrorshow on Flashbak or somewhere, so I googled ugly 70s Swedish pop groups – and there they were. The name caught my attention somehow…
So was it just Abba and everybody else, then? (NB: that doesn’t mean I want to hear any more.)
Well, if we start to explore the world of dansband, we’ll be here all day.
I guess we will anyway…
Alien Ant Farm
The moment I see that guy’s face I just think, “Alt Right”.
Manowar
Venom
Gwar
Just about any Scandanavian Death Metal Band
Twisted Sister
Nausea inducing? check
Nightmare causing ? check
Make small children cry? check
and that’s just the music
(in the interests of full disclosure and balance, I actually quite like Twisted Sister – may not be essential, but a whole lot of mad fun)
Tenpole Tudor….dirty ,dirty men. Although one of them dated Kim Wilde!
No way! Ed Tudor Pole! I loved him! But, then again, I also fancy Thom Yorke.
All the above pale beside the utter muntyness that is 70s nearly men Brownsville Station.
I’d put up a picture but I fear for sensitive types erm…sensitivity.
NOT because I have no idea how……honest
Even if you did know how you couldn’t.
More hideous than Budgie? Or Nazareth? Blimey!
The original Mothers Of Invention made a point of looking as absolutely revolting as they could.
Same goes for the Fugs.
Both bands not so much unkempt as looking like they had never been kempt.
They looked as though they probably smelled bad.
The Edgar Broughton Band.
The singer from Exile, wanting to kiss you all over. The horror, the horror!
Lemmy was no oil painting. The other two didn’t help much.
OK. I come here for the music and dislike this kind of thread. But I read it.
I know I’m about to make myself unpopular (but nothing new there, and I’ll be leaving now) but here goes . . .
A couple of weeks ago the Bing n Bob Show (as this site is increasingly becoming – how do these “dudes” ever get any work done?) got super-uppity (ha ha) about a reviewer being “viciously personal in the most puerile way” because they didn’t like some music (I agreed with them, by the way).
https://imgur.com/DiCA877
But now, here we are being “viciously personal in the most puerile way” about the way people look.
You can tell me I’ve had a sense of humour failure but I don’t think so. It’s just unpleasant.
Will Bing and Bob. Please stand-up! Please stand-up!
😂😂😂💥💥
Um, you have had a sense of humour failure? It’s lot funnier than the Suzanna Hoffs blue-pilled cockfest below it. (Which was droll in a lechyperv way, and, o yes, I am sure, ironic, convinced, yes.)
Why do you see it as the “Suzanne Hoffs blue-pilled cockfest” and not the “Morten Harket blue-pilled cockfest” or the “David Sylvian blue-pilled cockfest”?
Bob and Bing in “Suzanne Hoffs blue-pilled cockfest”
I don’t need pills for Morten and David? Dunno. Never tried.
I love – LOVE – that you posted a screengrab. You come here for the music… you stay for the slightly stalky perma-tutting disapproval.
It’s clear by now that you’re not a fan of Bob or I, or our incessant juvenilia. The frequency with which you pop up to register your irritation makes that clear.
And that’s totally fine – we can’t all be loved by everyone. But if that is the case, why not either just give us both the swerve, or otherwise drop me a quick DM to explain what the problem is and see if we can’t sort it? It’s all a bit unedifying to carry on like this in public, and it probably doesn’t do much for the collective bonhomie of the blog.
Yours, replete with unrepentant sympathy
BL
“Incessant Juvenilia”
Afterword T-shirt
Afterword facial tattoo!
I think the difference between the awful slagging-off of the Cranberries singer and the the tongue-in-cheek uggos vs hotties threads (and to some extent the affectionate Van-bashing) is that the latter are ordinary people mucking about on a forum, whereas the former was written by a journalist and published in a magazine. Also, the Cranberries thing was properly, scythingly, carefully and deliberately vicious.
Or am I missing something?
I’d agree. There’s rarely any nastiness behind the tongue-in-cheek comments on here. Some of it is laugh-out-loud funny.
By all means “come here for the music”, but maybe don’t comment on threads you don’t like? Seems a simple solution.
Internet is all about simple solutions, of course. And porn.
Tautologous. Porn is a simple solution!
Simple Porn Solution….three more from them later…
There’s ugly and then there’s Kansas. These guys rock that farmboy look for all it’s worth
The Grateful Dead. Apart from Bob Weir.
No wonder he got all the girls.