Someone I sort of vaguely know through someone else has launched Quibble, a website calling for the public to list their first-world problems. His first thought: the cookie acceptance pop-up.
My first thought: the “Made in the Czech republic” sticker on the back of a new LP, which means it was pressed at GZ and is going to need a deep clean before I can even play it.
I’m sure the AW hive mind can think of many, many, more.
Bin collection every three weeks. It was more fun every fortnight.
Hulking great remote controls with gazillions of redundant buttons.
Chris Mason.
Scumbags listening to god knows what balls-aching racket on their bloody phones when on public transport.
Chris Mason again.
Obscure American spellings of words in Wordle. It was created by a Welshman you know.
Chris Mason one more time.
People who say 100% instead of I agree or absolutely or I concur. I 100% detest this but not quite as much as I loathe Chris Mason.
I really dislike it when people say Absolutely instead of a simple Yes.
Absolutely this.
One hundred percent
Deffo
You’re not wrong.
110%
I personally prefer the Scottish comedy sketch show to the prog band I’ve never consciously listened to.
Stonybridge.
A great show, which never got the attention it deserved. “It is, it’s true! It’s TRUE!”
i loved Callum Gilhooley the person you would not want to be stuck in a lift with
‘G for… Gnome. O for.. nothing…’
See also people walking along the street with their phone speaker on talking loudly. I pray for an urchin to whiz past on an e-scooter and pluck it from their grasp.
See also twats occupying a cafe table tapping away on their laptop and occasionally having video conferences for hours after buying one coffee.
I would vote for anyone who would outlaw both of those.
Anyone in Makerfield can vote for Count Binface, who has “People who use speakerphones on public transport to be conscripted” in his manifesto.
Huzzah!
It’s this sort of common-sense thinking that we need right now!
I usually watch the second half of Bargain Hunt on my lunch break. During the bit before the auction, when that day’s presenter visits a local museum or some place of historical interest and talks to a curator or expert, I guess who many Absolutelys the guest will fit in a 3 minute interview.
The interview will be set up in such a way that the answer to lots of the questions would naturally be ‘Yes’, but the guest doesn’t want to be so brief and almost always answers, ‘Absolutely!’ (‘So were women as well as men sent to work in this factory?’ ‘Absolutely!’) About 4 Absolutelys per 3 minutes interview is standard.
I absolutely dislike the word absolutely now 100%.
Is that like Totally totally?
Awesomely totally totally absolutely 100%.
Like, totally…
indubitably
Ya see that’s classy. 100% more of this kinda thing.
Indeed usually suffices.
Y’all are so super posh. Absolutely.
So – if I use “like, totally”, does that mean I’m a Valley Girl?
no @Twang it is totes. You need to get with it
Thanks for the tip. Arf.
Why do you loathe Chris Mason?
Watching him whilst listening to him does the job. This is of course a bit of a drawback due to that being basically my only exposure to the odious little weasel. If you ask me why I consider him an odious little weasel then that I can most easily answer by referring you back to my first sentence.
He’s interviewed the reform candidate for Makerfield recently.
“Chris Mason, the BBC’s Farage fanboy who attracted opprobrium last year for penning a review of Reform’s annual conference in Birmingham that was so fawning it could have come from the party’s press office.”
From an article in The New World
I found him loathsome. He presented Any Questions during the Brexit peak, always giving the Tories a free run and always challenging the opposition Parties, particularly the Labour rep. He was an amateurish, incompetent, Mr Collins figure (if you know your Pride and Prejudice), who sucked up to the mainstream, was scathing of any alternatives, and traded gossip and trivia rather than incisive political questioning. The day he stopped and moved to the inanity of BBC TV news, I was so happy. It’s a far better programme without him.
He was happy on every occasion to offer those little delicate compliments which are always acceptable to Tories.
But what do you think of Chris Mason, @pencilsqueezer?
I try not to think of him tbh. There is something of the school sneak about him. Everytime I see him or hear his voice I feel an overwhelming desire to punch his smarmy little face off and that’s before I get to the contents of his mealy mouthed biased utterances.
I’ve stopped watching the BBC news channel. Is Nick Eardley still a political reporter? I swear he is the proof that Stanley Baxter did actually sire a son.
I occasionally catch BBC News by accident if I switch my TV on when it’s broadcasting. I don’t watch the BBC News Channel I’ve got better things to do with my time.
Yes and I gave up Question Time years ago. Dreadful.
An awful programme packed with people you wouldn’t want to be trapped in a lift with.
I saw him walking to one of the conferences in Birmingham a couple of years back.
Although it could have been Bilbo Baggins.
Created by a Welshman who sold it to the New York Times. Imagine the seismic rumblings if they used British spelling. Another reason for Trump to call it the Failing New York Times.
This doesn’t annoy me, it’s just one of the changing quirks of speech, but another way of agreeing with someone now seems to be to say “exactly that”.
My doctor, who is Iranian says ‘exactly that’ all the time. I’m going to notice it now, aren’t I?
People who laugh and talk at the same time, usually when telling an unfunny anecdote.
Absolutely
100%!
110%
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
When the person or persons walking in front of you looking down is walking at varispeed and veering left or right and quite often stops suddenly. Of course they’re looking at their sodding phone. I estimate this at 50% of pedestrians now. Idiots.
Obviously even worse when it’s the car in front of you but thankfully a bit less common.
Microsoft updates. ‘Your computer needs a restart’. I admit this is a work thing and security patches aswell as system updates are necessary. Even so, every few days the deeply unhelpful MS software will insist you stop what you’re doing. Or you wait until you log off for the day and you get the bossy ‘Do not turn off your computer’ screen message as the updates finally roll. Er, I’ve finished and I’m going. Knock yourself out Mr Gates, I’ll see what you’ve done in the morning.
And Microsoft Help. It never has. Any query I’ve had has always failed to have been answered precisely. I’ve always had to ask a colleague for the real answer. ‘Oh yeah, do it this way…’
*rant*
Help is so annoying, I removed the f1 key from the keyboard (along with caps lock), as it stood me from reading my reaching the far more useful f2 key.
Cookie acceptance is something I’ve long thought of posting on here. Visiting a new website and having to scroll down, switching off endless (and sometimes it goes on for 50 or more separate trackers) is such a pain, sometimes I don’t bother visiting the site and close the tab. I never accept all.
Auto text swipe on phone keyboards – sometimes works fine, often produces endless alternatives of a quite common word. The letter ‘i’ never behaves. As part of a larger word, it separates out and makes a capital I. When I want an ‘I’ it always resolutely stays as an ‘i’.
And one more, specific to this site. As a left hander, I scroll down the screen through threads, and invariably end up replying to a random comment as my finger moves down the left side of the screen. You righties have it so much easier…
*/rant*
Your last paragraph! Me too! I’m forever hitting Cancel reply.
Lefties of the World! Unite!
For goodness sake, stop using a touch screen, and use a proper mouse like grown ups do.
Oh, and just accept all cookies and then have a little job set up that nukes every last one of the f*ckers whenever you close the browser.
Having to remember so many things is my main gripe. When I park the car, I have to remember to close the windows. Then I have to remember where I’ve parked. Leaving the house, I have to remember to lock the garden gate behind me or the dogs can get out. I have to remember to put the correct bin out on the correct night. If I put my phone down anywhere, I have to remember where I’ve put it. And I have to remember to turn off taps. So much remembering to do every single day!
Oh and packaging. Packaging often gets on my nerves.
Packaging was highlighted by Peter Cook in the Room 101 TV show. He was handed some oranges in those awful plastic net bags that they come in and he almost blew a gasket.
Doing that heart shape with your hands
The phrase Kind regards at the bottom of an email
People on their phone at tills and generally pointing at stuff they want and not engaging with whoever is behind the till
I am a grumpy old hector …
Oh the heart thing with hands is grim. I blame Eurovision.
🫶
I do the first 2. I think kind regards is polite and I always mean it. When I don’t, I just put regards.
The heart shaped thing gets done at me and by me by my kids when they come out to the office in the garden to see me and I am on a call. It makes me happy.
The till behaviour is deplorable and I definitely don’t do that.
I mis-typed, but thankfully never sent, ‘Best Rehards’ so often at the of work emails that I added it to my autocorrect.
There could be a worse typo
Swiftie here. Our girl crashed through walls, moved mountains and fought dragons for us to be able to do this 🫶 IF YOU DON’T MIND.
😉
Footballer’s who cup their hand over their mouth when talking to a teammate. What’s the big secret?
Comes from American football. Given the financial high stakes in top level sport, it was wearyingly inevitable teams would use lip readers to try and glean tactical information from the opposition. Southampton have proved that such subterfuge exists, albeit in a different format in that instance. Annoying, but I don’t blame them for covering up.
The footballer’s do this while walking off the pitch when the match has ended. What tactical information are they concerned about giving away when the match is finished? It just had to have come from America, it just had to.
I wonder if there is a correlation between the rise of the celebrity footballer/wife/girlfriend and the insatiable desire for gossip.
Employment of lip readers to gain not just tactical info (possible) but also snide or revealing off hand comments (also possible, I think).
There is a massive industry that in monetizing football chat, gossip, rumours, debate etc that was there before social media but has been supercharged ever since. Just look at the Vardy’s TV series (actually, don’t look) on ITV or how keen Netflix were to secure Lineker’s Rest Is Football podcast. Outside the UK, in Spain and Italy in particular the interest is intense, filling print media for years and now the ether.
I think some players genuinely want to prevent their comments being seen – the rest just like to think someone is watching.
People who say “super” instead of “very” or “extremely”.
They are super annoying.
That’s just superlative inflation, I’ve got used to it from the Gen Z colleagues I work with. We’ve had supermarket for decades, supermodel for a good 20 years, it ain’t so awful.
Fair enough. Thanks.
I am super pleased that you’ve helped me see the error of my ways . . . I will no longer call Sainsburys a verymarket or Kate Moss an extremelymodel.
In future I will also use ain’t instead of isn’t.
Cheers, Peanut’s Molloy
LOL. Awesome.
“There exists in our beautiful language a whole range of subtly graduated words to express approval and pleasure, and leaping straight for [super] like a bull at a gate devalues them all”
I find the use of “really unique” rather irksome.
Not only irksome, but actually against the law and possibly a capital offence.
People who say “With all due respect” before hurling abuse. Piers Morgan does that a lot. He says things like “With all due respect, that’s complete bullshit and you’re a duplicitous charlatan for saying it.”
Oh and also, Piers Morgan.
YouTube thumbnails that are enhanced by AI (=made even more rubbish than they used to be).
Barry Robinson from Classic Album Review, who nicked some of my Yes review, the scamp.
PLAGIARIST!!!
AI YouTube videos. I’d like a filter called “AI Slop y/n?”
Buying a new belt where the holes are never in the right place – either just too tight, or just too loose. And then having to take a corkscrew to new belt to create a new hole.
The AI pause.
Look, there’s one there.
It’s how you know someone ran their first draft through ChatGPT. Because none of us actually speak in three-word bursts followed by a line return. That weighted paragraph break used to be the flag that waved furiously above shit writing. You saw it and walked away, slowly, backwards.
But times change.
It’s not clever.
It’s not erudite.
But it’s everywhere.
My partner has officially banned me from talking about this as she fears I will bring on a full blown attack of something or other. Just the other day a former colleague emailed with a short text, asking if ‘you could look at this and make a bit better’. It was a text she had written in ChatGPT that she wanted to post on Instagram, expressing her utter shock and devastation at her friend’s sudden death. Pauses, abstract plastic emotion, quasi-profundity, all those bloody em-dashes, oh I feel another attack coming on
That’s because AI consumes stuff from LinkedIn, where the bros actually write like that. That site is the very deepest pit of festering shite.
Oh god yes, I came to post similar. I’ve taken to posting barely disguised snark on there which may not do my career prospects any good. Recently I shared a poem I’d written there:
Here’s something you need to know.
It’s really big. And important.
Ignoring it is not an option.
You can’t be left behind.
Are you ready?
Are you sure?
Can you handle it?
—
Using short sentences.
Isn’t profound.
THEY’RE JUST BULLET POINTS!
With better PR.
Double arf.
That BBC continuity announcer who speaks in a very staccato way, putting breaks in sentences where they don’t need to be and emphasising all the wrong words. He’s like fingernails on a blackboard.
Just me then.
I’m a male of advancing age who, despite my fervent wish, will never be mistaken for George Clooney or Cary Grant. No fashion plate am I.
Though what I recently cannof fathom is the current clothing and hair trends amongst far younger males. Who the fuck pressed the ‘yep’ button on these terrible baggy blue jeans that are hep for these cats? They are objectively awful. Badly cut denim in the cheapest shade of ‘Dad’ blue. And yet they’re all flapping about in them. They look like twats.
Not helped by the ubiquitous curly topped mullet and uber short sides. Possibly with added thin moustache. What a fucking mess. Still in two years it’ll all be over. And I still won’t be Yves St Laurent so I can shut my yap.
I blame Eurovision…
The Mullet deserves a post of its own. Whoever decided this looked great was clearly on drugs. Strong ones.
Paul McC 1972-1980
Plastic milk bottles with tops that have really sharp edges all the way round and are on far too tight so you virtually shred your fingers when you first open them. I wouldn’t mind but they usually have a foil seal as well.
Reading this thread has confirmed that I don’t have any real gripes. I just sort of muddle along.
I decided a while ago that if you accept that certain things in life are either broken and/or a bit rubbish, there’s no need to get angry about much of anything.
On the other hand, maybe I haven’t been paying enough attention as society collapses around us…
Nah, it’s mindfulness, innit? Don’t ignore the irritations – acknowledge them, then let them leave your head without lodging, festering and raising the blood pressure.
A professional shrink told me, around the time Trump first took office, not to worry about the things I can’t influence.
I have to say, I’m two months in to ignoring The News (or only hearing it once a day) and I’m noticeably more chipper. Not that you might notice, but inside I really am less stressed.
As I can’t vote in the US elections, or in Clacton, I’ve gone for the ignorance is bliss option.
World at One and PM are fine*, BBC TV news is just fluff now, like the website.
*Not The Today programme and I’m sure someoone will object to the WatO/PM presenters but they don’t usually bother me.
Hand-cut chips. Who gives a shit?
Steel cut oats? Instead of ones cut with dental floss? A cricket bat?
‘Pan fried’. So that’s the secret. I wondered why I keep getting those terrible blisters when I used my hands.
Home cooked food. I don’t think so.
A pushy lady in a supermarket was standing by a booth with free samples , saying that the apple pie that came in a box was “home made!”. She kept saying this to me as I passed in my own bewildered way, looking for something in the aisles. Just to be clear, they weren’t called “Home Made” or described as such on the pack
I’d like to say that I decided to assert myself and say to her “they’re not home made though, are they? They come from a factory…”. I didn’t, of course.
“Barista” coffee at Macdonalds.
The coffee at McDonalds is surprisingly good – but why they use “barista” is a mystery. I wonder if anyone insists on meeting the trained individual who conjured it out of the gleaming chrome…
Varies a bit by branch. If I have to use a McDonalds, the one at Shoreham is about as good as they get: clean, food generally hot, ok service. I won’t use the one between Battersea and Wandsworth: filthy, overrun with vagrants and Deliveroo scooters and the “food” looks as though it was assembled by throwing it from one side of the kitchen and letting it slide down the wall.
I would stress that my comment above refers only to the coffee.
Clean food, generally hot OK service. Sounds better than most local fast food outlets.
Clean food, generally hot – isn’t that a basic expectation?
McDonald’s “food” is rarely hot, lukewarm maybe. I think only the fries will possibly have been made recently
I usually only use them for breakfast. If it’s a busy enough site then it makes a difference as it doesn’t sit around in whatever they use to stop it getting completely cold.
Which reminds me – the coffee at McDonalds is surprisingly good…(déjà vu?)
Maybe she’d set up home in the factory and could therefore call them “home made”
If you pop in Waitrose late Thursday evening there’s a good chance you’ll see the French owner my my local “gastro pub” buying a couple of sacks of Waitrose own frozen chunky cut chips. These will be transformed into the hand cut variety on cooking by putting them into a miniature tin bucket and cranked out at £6 a pop as a “side”.
Presumably superior to Brake Brother’s offering.
See also: crafted, hand crafted.
hand crafted crisps = crisps made from spuds picked by a huge industrial machine with a big industrial engine, washed in another large powerful industrial machine and then cut thinly in an industrial slicer and deep fried in a huge industrial stainless vat full of industrially extracted rapeseed oil which was stirred once or twice by a bloke with a long spoon.
I have always wondered about those billboards at field edges: “Farmer’s Own Seed”….
Only if the farmer’s called Onan.
Saying “right?” at the end of each sentence. It’s annoying, right?
Right.
100%
Totally totally.
It’s the upward inflection as much as the word, right? Innit?
Turtley turtley.
Oh my days, you’re like so right, yeah?
John Lydon does this but pronounces it “aaayyyyytt.” Most annoying.
Modern football phrases used by managers, such as “we’re letting him go because he needs game time” (meaning “he’s turned out to be a bit crap and I won’t be choosing him again.”) Seems to have taken over from “he isn’t in our plans for next season.”
The use of numbers by football pundits to describe a player’s preferred position, rather than talking about the actual position. “He’s being forced to play as a 10, when he’s a far more natural 6”.
Meanwhile the number on the player’s shirt will be something like 43.
Yes! Definitely this. Also in my list of gripes about modern football is that verbal tick managers use in interviews when they start sentences with “Listen.” Erm… we already are.
You could always tell when Tony Blair was annoyed when he began a response with, “Look.”
On the subject of Blair, if you haven’t heard it, go to BBC Sounds and listen to today’s edition of Armando Ianucci’s “Strong Message Here”.
Sketchy Australian politicians say ‘Look’ a lot when they’re trying to decide how to wriggle out of a tricky line of questioning.
I remember Tim Sherwood stating on Soccer Saturday “a lot of people were concerned because Arsenal weren’t playing with a nine, but Arteta got it completely right by playing two tens.” I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
“Little pockets of space”. Michael Spicer has lampooned this beautifully on YouTube.
Expected goals was the point where Match of the Day became Match of the Day Today for me. Preposterous notion.
Don’t suppose anyone can explain Expected Goals to me in simple terms, understandable and relevant terms?
The use of the word “iconic” by lazy presenters and journalists who can’t think of any other adjective and so they employ this word.
If something is ancient or if it’s new, if it’s rare or if it’s commonplace, if it’s innovative or if it’s retro etc etc.
It doesn’t matter to these dummies, (especially those employed by our beloved national broadcaster the BBC more than others, for whom it’s use appears to be de rigeur) it’s got to be iconic.
Other adjectives are available.
I listen to a podcast which I really enjoy but pretty much everything slightly memorable is described by the main presenter as “iconic”. It brings everything to the same level which means that everything that was iconic is now, no longer, iconic, presumably.
There must be a parody of Alanis Morissette’s “Ironic” out there called “Iconic” trading on this, surely? If not, there’s a gap in the market to exploit.
People who say ‘would of.’
People who call me ‘dude.’
People who rave about bands that are obviously bollocks (e g. Geese)
Those small price stickers that peel away in three sections.
People who lean on their trolleys as they push them in supermarkets.
Dawdling men in supermarkets who are bored and pretend to be interested in packets of rice while their wives do the real shopping in another part of the store.
TV documentaries that devote the first five minutes to telling you what’s coming up.
People in cars who don’t wave a thank you when you’ve pulled in to give them space (when you didn’t actually need to).
Anne Atkins if ever she does Thought for the Day.
Weatherpeople who say ‘bits and pieces of rain.’ And ‘showery rain.’
People who begin their answers to a question with the word ‘so.’
My hat! There’s some good stuff in that list!
Men who leave their wives to do the food shopping.
You just know it will cost an extra £20 and there will be nothing that is essential and you have to then go out to get bread and milk.
My ex used to need to check every single aisle. We would come home after spending $200 or something on food and then order a pizza!
that’s sounds about right.
There’s a bloke in Waitrose whenever I go in, if it’s a Friday, parked inconveniently, with his trolley obstructing the rest of the magazines, reading Staffordshire Life, or some such pap, cover to cover, whilst his wife too and fros from the aisles, with hand held products.
A jumper tied around the neck by its arms.
Open-mouthed chewing while talking.
Sipping on a water bottle from the side of the mouth.
Sitting near to me on the bus/train/cinema if there’s plenty of empty seats elsewhere.
People that don’t interact at all with the person taking the payment in a shop.
“Can I get a water?” No you fucking can’t but you can ask “May I have a bottle of water please?”
‘Can I get … ?’ is a perfectly reasonable way to request something and I struggle to believe that anyone is really bothered by it, though many seem to be. People are odd.
I’ll throw in a few public transport items:
Videos played on phones without earphones of course.
Smelly takeaways on trains (a particular feature of late night trains home from London).
Top of the list – people who put their shoes on the seats opposite. I firmly believe that each carriage should have an extendable metal baton of the type police officers use made available to other passengers for these occasions. I’m not suggesting permanent disability, just a smart rap on the ankle that would result in a limp for the rest of the day and the opportunity to reconsider some life decisions.
Obviously I’m odd then. I was raised to be.
No I agree with you @pencilsqueezer re “can I get…” The correct response is “I dunno,can you?”
The correct response to that would end with, ‘… and the horse you rode in on.’
I come across a lot of “give me” from customers in shops. Incredibly rude
It’s a horrible (North) Americanization, to my eternal shame I have been reduced to saying it in restaurants here in order to be understood more quickly
Life’s little gripes reaches for the hamper, while life’s little luxuries languishes at 46 (as of this timestamp).
Does this say something about the denizens of The Afterword?
See my answer in luxuries.
I’m surprised that nobody has yet mentioned Corsair Tinned Chicken.
That would make you gripe, surely?
I’m an inveterate hooverer-up of recipes to save in my Paprika app.
American recipes though…Paprika deals brilliantly with the verbal diarrhoea of Amerfican food bloggers, the tsunami of exclamation marks and the oversharing. Also happily turns imperial into metric. But the ingredients…
Kosher salt = salt
Broth = stock
Low-sodium broth = stock
Cilantro = coriander
Minced garlic = crushed garlic
Scallions = spring onions
Ground beef = mince
Skillet = frying pan
Stick of butter = butter
Feta cheese = feta (see also Parmesan cheese)
Shredded cheese = grated cheese
Etc
It’s their language, they can do what they want with it (see also: Wordle). Call me OCD though, but I have to change it all, otherwise it’s going to drive me nuts down the line.
Yes, I believe US spellings are generally the older ones – it’s we British that bunged in largely superfluous extra letters.
Also, soccer or football is fine. Once this is accepted, life becomes stress-free.
True, but I don’t care.
British publishers always offset US novels, which means they’re full of American spellings. Nobody in Britain seems to care, and it saves money. Has anybody refused to read Kurt Vonnegut or John Updike because of US spelling? But US publishers always insist on resetting, at some expense, in case US readers are traumatised by UK spellings. When I worked with John Fowles he used to complain bitterly about it, but he never persuaded his US publishers to see reason.
I seem to have had another rant.
Isn’t it parme-ZHaan in the US? Se also ‘erbs.
I don’t like it when American recipes have all the measurements in CUPS. I start swearing.
A cup of butter…🙄
It was hot enough in the UK last week for the butter to be poured onto my toast (or into a cup). Perhaps that’s what they mean?
Strange you mention this – I was reading a book of recipes from members of the Bloomsbury Group last night and there was a recipe by Virginia Woolf’s brother Thoby Stephens for cookies. Instructions began with a “cup” of butter, two cups sugar etc. A tea cup filled with butter?
It’s not an actual cup it’s a measurement unit, you can buy implements that measure a cup, half a cup, quarter of a cup etc. like I said below no weighing scales necessary.
In Sweden they have a similar concept but they are spoons, ranging from 1dl to 1ml, so it’s always a standard unit you use. 1 dl is like a tablespoon. There’s a mat sked (food spoon literally) and teaspoon, krydd (spice) spoon which is the smallest. You don’t need to concern yourself with which of my 3 sizes of teaspoon do I use? Yes, better than using scales.
Yes, I have a set of cups and a set of tablespoons (1/2, 1/3 etc) and I use them all the time. Never for butter though – I just guess.
Doesn’t butter come in sticks in the US? How many sticks can you fit into a cup I wonder?
Actually very convenient, no weighing scales needed
But a set of cups needed. And extra washing up.
But I do like cup measures. I am a big fan of the NYT cooking app. Genuinely some of the best recipes I have ever tasted, collected. Lots of cup measuring (the granola recipe uses the full set I think) which is very straightforward once you have the cups for it.
Not a gripe – I endorse Leedsboy’s recommendation of the NYT cooking section.
It’s brilliant isn’t it. The 11 Madison Granola recipe alone would make it necessary.
I now prefer some of these. They aren’t wrong but different, where as Brits often use French terms for things, US/(English speaking) Canada use Spanish e.g. cilantro, seeds are called coriander seeds though. Ground beef sounds so much nicer to my ears than mince. A stick of butter is literally a stick, there are 4 of them in a packet rather than one big chunk of butter
No, they aren’t wrong, but they grind my gears and boil my piss. Nothing I can do about it. But I do think grinding is for coffee, not beef.
Kosher salt is quite chunky (similar to rock salt) so the difference is worth noting. If non kosher salt is used in the same measures, the food will be over salted. It’s named after the salt type used for koshering meat.
In fairness to them though Scallion is a much better word than Spring Onions.
My other half used to call them scallions – and she was most definitely not American.
Is a rapscallion an onion from da hood?
Yes and suspenders are not something men wear – unless you are Kevin Rowlands of course.
When did fandoms become a thing? It’s not enough to like a musical act now, you have to support them blindly like a football team. And woe betide you if you suggest that while you continue to love a band or artist, their new single isn’t as great as what’s come before.
Fandom – a condom that keeps you cool in the hot weather
I dislike how the word “amazing” is ubiquitous.
“Could you review this by tomorrow lunchtime?”
“Yes”
“Amazing”
How stupid do they think I am if me reading and commenting on something is amazing?
“The burgers here are amazing”
Why? Are they made of unicorns? Do they fly? Being tasty is not amazing.
I also really dislike stickers on products that are a bugger to get off.
Barcode stickers on avocados, apples and the like have just been banned in NSW.
“Amazing” – I blame Kate Bush.
Wow.
Unbelievable.
Oh, and the American way of using a knife and fork. Use both hands.
Not a gripe as such, more of an opinion.
There are too many comedians. Too many? No,that’s not it. Who am I to set a limit? What I mean is there are loads of them. Humour is subjective of course, and topics and the approach to being funny adapts over time. Differing generations laugh at different things.
Our local arts centre is used a lot by big and small named comics to warm up material for tours and we’ve seen a few of these. Most of the time I’ve rather enjoyed the evening but often realise I haven’t really laughed much. A comedy show in this current age has to have a title it seems, a theme or a premise. A key life event to trigger some hilarious takes on it all. If only they were.
They’re raconteurs more than comics. Monologists, I suppose. For their shows to work you have to have some interest in them, and often I don’t. I want the gags and puns and the whimsy.
Is that a gripe? A lot of raconteurs? Not really. The exception that tested the rule was Omid Djalili. An eloquent raconteur who told wonderfully funny tales and had me in kinks, Go and see him. He’s good.
I’m not big on gripes as a rule, but I do dislike this thing with modern comedians where they often seem to convince themselves that they’re truth-tellers or modern day philosophers, whose important thoughts society must now hear.
You’re not Socrates mate, you’re a court jester with a podcast. Make with the funnies or get offstage.
My neighbour, a lovely woman, who is as tolerant and inclusive as you could wish for is firm in her belief that Rosie Jones is just not funny. I’m inclined to agree with her.
Maybe so, but the hate she gets on social media is disgusting. Another one is Lenny Henry (who was at least pretty funny in Tiswas). Are we seeing a pattern here?
Don’t know about a pattern because neither come up on my social media feeds, although I don’t use Twitter and FB is largely work people or music related stuff. I agree Lenny used to be funny but I haven’t seen him on anything lately.
The pattern is right wing mocking of disabled people, misogyny and racism
Hang on: so Dave’s neighbour can’t take the risk of mentioning that she doesn’t find Rosie Jones funny, without being accused of being “right wing, mocking disabled people, misogyny and racism”?
Two different things going on here. Rosie is unfortunately a target for right-wing fuckwits . Me and Dave’s neighbour just don’t find her funny.
I know – but dai’s first comment seemed to conflate the two things – my mistake, clearly.
What? I didn’t say that. My point is she sadly gets a lot of online hate unrelated to her comedic abilities, I thought Dave posted his comment in awareness of that fact.
For what it’s worth I don’t particularly find her funny either
Fair enough – I thought you’d conflated the neighbour’s comment with the pattern of hate on social media. Clearly, that was an error on my part.
“Picky bits”
God yes! I had never seen this revolting phrase until about 3 years ago and then it was everywhere. I still haven’t heard it said but there is a constant fear of catching an advert which uses it and having to replace my television immediately after. It’s an awful, awful addition to the language.
What are “picky bits”? Sounds awful, but I can’t imagine the context.
I think there’s no better way of showing you than this.
Dear oh dear…
Picky Tea is good though. I think it has enough irony in it to make it ok.
My wife and daughter are Picky Tea-ists. They love them
I can’t grumble about stuff that makes people happy. Picky Tea’s stay.
I’m all for people having stuff that makes them happy that’s fine.
What isn’t fine is the name.
It’s Choosy Food in our house, if that helps. I suspect it doesn’t.
It does. It sounds less like a skin condition than pi… I can’t even type it before I’ve had my breakfast
Dippy dippy here, which sounds how you might catch it.
Choosy is a brand of cat food no?
Is it? That explains a lot
It existed in my shelf stacking days. It’s probably not raw enough for today’s pet owners.
As advertised by Claude Cattermole “Catsmeat” Potter-Pirbright
I’m a big fan of billy tea, though I don’t make it over an open fire in the back garden. A kettle and a teapot work for me.
https://roughasguts.com.au/australiana/billy-tea-recipe/
Picky Tea? Which?
I’ll get me coat…
People who title their memoirs “My Autobiography”.
There are more than enough ideas on this thread for a Half Man Half Biscuit song, so I’ll add one from an actual HMHB song. People walking two (or three) abreast on a pavement and not moving over so that my wife and I have to walk single file or walk on the verge. Ugh
Also, men who where mid length socks (i.e. half way up the shin) whilst wearing shorts. There really is no need (and it is not a good look).
Oh, one more whilst I’m at it- Single albums in gatefold sleeves. This is worse if they are reissued as a gatefold when they weren’t first time around.
I’m a big lad. I steadfastly refuse to step into the road or onto the grass when 3 healthy* people are walking towards me. I don’t half get some evil looks.
* if someone is being helped then I gladly get out of the way.
Can’t agree with “single albums in gatefold sleeves” as a complaint. Some of my treasured memories are poring over every inch of a gatefold sleeve on the bus home, having bought a new LP – and very few of them were double LPs.
I just don’t have the shelf space for all of the unnecessary gatefold sleeves. Just have a nice full colour insert instead, no?
Well, no…
I want my
I want my
I want my gatefold sleeve
“Going for the One” by Yes was a single album in a TRIPLE gatefold sleeve. Yikes!
As was Sandinista, but that was deliberate, to keep down the price.
Better than a triple album in a single sleeve.
Must lern to reed proper.
Double albums in a single sleeve. Cheapskate bastards, where’s the joy in that?
I remember getting “Mott” for Christmas and rather than the original with a gatefold sleeve including little cut outs etc and a brilliant photo montage inside it was a measily single sleeve. I was gutted. What sort of record company exec ordered that? Bastard.
I guess Paws would have been overjoyed by that change!
“Sandinista!” by the lots-of-hits Clash was, of course, a TRIPLE album in a single sleeve. Wot a rip-off.
Live at Hammersmith 1975 by Springsteen slots 4 (FOUR) albums into a single sleeve! Nice inner sleeves though
And the original double LP of Tusk by Fleetwood Mac is a rather thick package, because each inner sleeve has another inner sleeve within it. It takes ages before you finally get your hands on the vinyl.
There must’ve been a huge budget for the packaging – although they still couldn’t come up with a better front cover photo than a dog snapping at somebody’s leg!
The walking thing is annoying. I will move on front of my wife if it’s a 2-person path. If the oncomer doesn’t move to their side, neither do I. It’s the only way they’ll learn.
I really get irked by the continual request for my thoughts when I have been to a new restaurant for the first time or bought something from a website. If it is shit don’t worry I will tell you. If it is okay I have insufficient time to tell you it is okay and I will just move on. You should too.
It’s done so that you can’t reasonably claim – after eating the meal – that you didn’t like it and then refuse to pay.
I usually write a quick review on Google when I’ve been somewhere good. Apparently it really helps restaurants. I don’t usually do bad ones, though I gave a shocker to Browns in Covent Garden after a meal so bad in every department I thought the world should know.
Australia Post sends me messages: how was your delivery? I always ignore it, but one day I’m going to give in and say, “Well, the Welsh postie was his usual cheery self, and the way he placed the parcel directly into my hands was a masterpiece of postal delivery precision, and the way he said, Been buying stuff again, Mike? in a broad Welsh accent brought tears to my eyes. Would have been nice if he’d brought it a week earlier, mind.”
People who don’t put cumin and dark chocolate in when they cook a chilli. I mean, really???
Who in the house know ’bout the quake?
Very good.
Shut up, already! Damn!
Cumin is the key flavour ingredient. What sort of lump would bypass that one.
When I introduce myself by a certain name and then my correspondent immediately and with full knowledge decides I’m called something else.
“Why did you just call me Bobby when I introduced myself as Rob?”
I get that. Presumptuous and annoying.
Me too. Only the government, airlines and my doctor are allowed to call me Michael.
I’ve made the opposite journey – used to be called Mike or Mick across the board, but in my early forties I just started to prefer to be ‘Michael’. It’s only my closest friends who have stuck with Mike.
I can’t believe we’ve got this far without someone posting this. “Lisa Riley”.
“Call him Rupert, it’s a good name” – my grandson is called Rupert, so no argument there
Windows updates.
My 2013 Avid USB audio interface no longer works, since the latest tranche of W11 updates. It was working perfectly last week.
I once met Bill Gates – I should have kicked him in the balls, just in case.
Thom Yorke seems to agree with you in this general area. He has two songs about Windows- The Axe (from Anima) and Zero Sum (from Cutouts by The Smile).
People who don’t signal coming off a roundabout.
Multi lane roundabouts that seem to lose a lane to your required destination halfway round making circumnavigating a bit of a lottery
Mini roundabouts – nobody really knows whose turn it is
I do like Roundabout by Yes though
What about English Roundabout by XTC?
Immediately thought of this.