Following the recent thread on George Michael’s Older and the conversation turning to Last Christmas I decided to do a Wham! Toppermost Top Ten for the festive season including a reappraisal of the yuletide classic. The rest of the article is being published this week at www.toppermost.co.uk. I thought it might be fun to share the Last Christmas bit here.
So that’s it. Wham! Over and out in 4 remarkable years. What’s that? Only nine songs you say? Of course, I knew that. Take a break, get a cup of tea and a mince pie because we’re doing Last Christmas now to finish.
I’ll start by saying the annual social media phenomenon of Whamageddon disappoints me greatly. People trying to prove how cool they are by avoiding Last Christmas for as long as possible then whining because they were caught unawares in Top Shop. I don’t understand this hatred of one of the great Christmas songs.
It was released as a double A-side with Everything She Wants. The girlfriend I mentioned who butchered, sorry highlighted my hair was obsessed with the song and in a cruel twist of fate dumped me just after we’d celebrated Christmas together for a young farmer. To be honest looking back at the lyrics to Everything She Wants it was a lucky escape although let me tell you it didn’t feel that way at the time.
And now you tell me that you’re having my baby
I’ll tell you that I’m happy if you want me to
But one step further and my back will break
If my best isn’t good enough, then how can it be good enough for two?
Shudder.
Right, Last Christmas. George writes about relationships a lot. All the way through this Top ten there’s a relationship theme. Good or bad George has a hook for it. What he did here is where the sheer genius of Last Christmas lies. George acknowledges that Christmas can be a bit shit, especially in relationships. The expectation, the temptation, the parties it’s all set up to go wrong. It isn’t all simply having a wonderful Christmas time or rocking around the Christmas tree and some people absolutely don’t wish it could be Christmas every day. I came across this article about Last Christmas and I’ll share it here because it’s good to hear from Andrew Ridgeley. There’s some great back story to how George threw Last Christmas together and Andrew backs up my views perfectly. (Link in the box)
From the opening intro you know you’re on a relentless sleigh ride of a Christmas song but there’s already the whiff of melancholy about it. Then in those opening lines George sums up how Christmas feels for many of us, not every year necessarily but I suspect we’ve all had at least one Last Christmas and then it’s repeated just to make sure we’ve got the message. I imagine there’s not many of us on hearing those lines that didn’t allow our minds to flash to a Christmas where we were either the offender or offended because of a drunken night out or a work Christmas party. Much like The Pogues Fairy Tale of New York, Last Christmas looks at the darker side of the festive season and relationships which I think goes a long way to explaining its popularity and ubiquity. We’ve all been there.
Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I’ll give it to someone special
Simple yet effective. He’s bumped into an ex, at Christmas, a year on from something bad. This is awkward. But let me tell you, it won’t happen again. Right, where’s this going next?
Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance, but you still catch my eye
Tell me baby, do you recognize me?
Well, it’s been a year, it doesn’t surprise me
Happy Christmas, I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying “I love you”, I meant it
Now I know what a fool I’ve been
But if you kissed me now, I know you’d fool me again
Brilliant, isn’t it? She treated him like a doormat. Accepted his gift but has probably forgotten him already. She’s moved on to some other mug (probably a farmer) but poor George despite all that, despite knowing he’s been a fool, accepts with a heavy heart that if he allowed it, he’d be a fool again. It’s not just me is it? We’ve all been there, right? And still the relentless melancholy sleigh ride chugs on keeping us hypnotised.
A crowded room, friends with tired eyes
I’m hiding from you and your soul of ice
My God, I thought you were someone to rely on
Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man under cover, but you tore me apart
Oh, oh now I’ve found a real love
You’ll never fool me again
The aspirational video set in the Swiss mountains conveys the room with tired eyes after a lavish booze filled dinner party. They could hardly have set it in the local Sheraton hotel could they but those of us who’ve experienced this kind of betrayal know where these things are likely to happen. Why? Really. Why do businesses do that? Cheap hotel, cheap booze, Christmas parties for office workers (or young farmers) can only end in disaster and often do. Anyway. Poor George is now hiding from her and her soul of ice. She really is a piece of work this one. She tore him apart and now he’s trying to convince himself but as we know once you’ve been on the end of a betrayal like this you can’t ever really trust anyone, even yourself again.
We then get two more rounds of the chorus ending with a yearning, pleading, hopeful “special”. He’s trying to convince himself here. Then the denouement.
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart (I gave you mine)
A man under cover but you tore him apart
Maybe next year I’ll give it to someone
I’ll give it to someone special
He’s moved on from this year to maybe next year and us listeners are left none the wiser as to what actually happened. Was he fooled again?
It’s such a clever song musically and lyrically and with George passing away on Christmas Day in 2016 it adds a certain poignancy. Capturing a mood around Christmas that clearly strikes a raw nerve with the millions of people who actively seek it out each year rather than try to avoid it. Those that hate the song probably left this top ten at “Hey sucker”. I’m not really expecting to convert anyone but It’s near on 40-year festive season ubiquity has swamped the message somewhat. It’s stats are astonishing. Only missing out on topping the charts because of Band Aid back in 1984. Let’s not forget how George changed the melody of his part in that song. “But say a prayer” flipped on it’s head much to the astonishment of Geldof & Co. George Michael was a genius and I think Last Christmas actually showcases that genius for just getting a song right better than most. Classic, simple, brilliant, genius.
If you did make it this far, well done for a start, secondly, I hope you are able to discover new love for one of the truly great Christmas songs from a band whose light shone furiously for four years and still flickers today especially at this time of year. Special…..
Last Christmas
https://www.smoothradio.com/features/the-story-of/last-christmas-wham-lyrics-meaning-video/
What does the word “gev” mean? I’ve been wondering that since 1984.
PS. ‘They could hardly have set it in the local Sheraton hotel’ – have you seen what they charge for drinks in those places? Taking everyone to th’Alps was probably cheaper.
Could’ve set it at Club Tropicana – free drinks there
Oho!
Also, according to Wham Rap they were signing on. Advertising the fact that they were on an expensive foreign holiday and not actively seeking employment probably landed them in serious shtook with the DHSS. They don’t half take risks, these pop stars.
Apparently they got the jobs as pilots through a local YOP scheme…
Training For Life, courtesy of the Manpower Services Commission!
Those two fellers well and truly got on their bikes.
or maybe a YOG scheme
👏👏👏
Local accent.
I’m from (and live in) the same area GM was brought up in and a lot of people hereabouts pronounce “gave” as “gev”. Just the way it is around here.
Agreed the Whamageddon thing is pointless hipster point-scoring, but what’s so bad about that, Eh?
Last Christmas is not a “great” Xmas song. I would rate it merely as Quite Good[*].
As we all know, from Mary Gauthier’s[**] interview of several years past, “good” songs are just not good enough any more. There are just too many of them, standards have risen and only “great” songs will do nowadays.
[*] Subjective. Yes I know.
[**] Writer and performer of a truly “great” Xmas song, Christmas In Paradise.
As it happens, I was contemplating putting the cat among the pigeons and starting a thread of “Five Xmas Songs You Really Love, As Opposed To Just Tolerate”.
Not till next Saturday, I think.
:Last Christmas is not a “great” Xmas song.”…. OH YES IT IS! In my best Biggins voice…
Another point about that video: It’s fkin nithering but not one of them is wearing a hat. Why? They can’t get a hat over that MASSIVE EIGHTIES HAIR.
I went for Freedom era George hair… No it didn’t work
Circa Older he had gone down the practical route – and also looked properly cool. Ready for the office, the dancefloor and a beany for when it gets parky.
I love Christmas almost obsessively, and there’s only one Christmas song that I actively hate, and it’s not “Last Christmas” (it’s an awful Swedish Christmas hit sung a´cappella, which is always intolerable). Being the right age in the 80s I’m fond of it for nostalgic reasons, even though there are parts of it that I question (“gev” being one of them, “you gave it away” being another – it sounds as if she’s regifting his heart, which is impossible). But I agree with most of what you write, well argued and well written (your bitterness towards farmers especially amusing).
It’s a good thing that I love Christmas and its music so much, since working in a supermarket means that I get to hear it all day long all of December…I don’t actually mind it much – apart from that a´cappella song and this year’s baffling version of a classic, which is Camila Cabello’s version of “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” – or, as she would say – I’ll be home for Chrismuys, in her best “sexy baby”-voice…
Thanks @locust I did wonder where you were going…
Merry Christmas to you. Sounds like you’ll love it regardless 🎅 🧑🎄
Merry Christmas, Dave! I hate the stress before Christmas, so I’ve scaled it down a lot in later years (proportionally to how much more stressful work has become), but I’ll absolutely love it once December 24 is upon us (and my mini vacation kicks off)!
I loved Wham.
In 1986 when they were doing their two final gigs at Wembley. I was at the Milton Keynes Bowl to see Simple Minds and The Waterboys on the Friday (best gig of my life…The Waterboys).
The opening act was Dr and The Medics with Spirit In The Sky at No.1 in the charts. They thus chose wisely to take the piss out of Wham as they were No.1 but not at Wembley.
I loved Wham
Afterword T Shirt…
Good article, but what’s this “nine songs” malarkey? There’s more than that on the Greatest Hits! I guess it’s explained in the full article.
And GM didn’t stop there of course: “December Song” is a beautiful Christmas carol from a couple of decades later. He was a genius all right, Dave.
Go on, treat yourselves:
Sorry, badly explained. The Toppermost website allows ten songs per artist, quite the challenge even with Wham! Last Christmas was my tenth. The are always looking for contributors. Over 1000 on there now.
Love it Dave!
Laughed out loud particularly at the ‘(probably a farmer)’ quip.
Surrounding Foxy Towers there are loads of the Young Farmer types, noisily cramming the bar in the local, check shirts on display all week, Schöffel’s and caps at the weekend, shouting rosy-cheeked glibnesses at each other and spoiling everyone else’s quiet pints. Their dads have all been caning the EU subs for decades, and the bastards all vote Tory too. Ghastly people. I share your distain.
I know that farmers elsewhere don’t follow this pattern, but we seem to be marooned in an island of entitled awfulness, a reflection of our local domination by an aristocratic estate. Tug that forelock!
Thanks Foxy. This was a Wiltshire farmer. Good luck to him. I doubt they’re still together, she was a girl from Feltham after all…
Feltham? Not in this cold etc
Everything She Wants is a masterpiece. It manages to be heartbreaking, intense and also hugely danceable. I remember hearing it very loud somewhere and the floor filling instantly. It sounded amazing.
As for Last Christmas, I’m in the “well, he’s a very talented songwriter” camp. I don’t hate it, because I like GM and W! – but I won’t seek it out.
ESW was the Wham song even the lads were allowed to like and it’s great. Last Christmas has me leaping for the off switch. That’s how it’s been for decades and it isn’t going to change now.
ESW is brilliant. Last Christmas is no Personal Jesus I’ll give you that.
Personal Baby Jesus?
Never did like Wham, although I must admit that Edge Of Heaven is a superb slab of pop (not that I could ever admit it at the time).
I don’t go out of my way to avoid Last Christmas but really not bothered about hearing it again.
Whether I like the song or not is irrelevant, that is a fine piece of writing Dave
Edge Of Heaven didn’t make the final 10. It was a real blast to do watching back all those old videos and Top Of The Pops. Lots of smiling and laughing and that was just me 🙂
“She treated him like a doormat. Accepted his gift but has probably forgotten him already. She’s moved on to some other mug (probably a farmer) ”
She? Despite what is shown in the video it may well have been a “he”
I like the song myself. Nice summary of it
Yep, probably right now you mention it. With hindsight how did we not know. The two straight guys chasing the ladies vibe was still strong in 1984
Last Christmas is okay but I notice Mariah Carey is back at number one with a proper Christmas record.
No problem with Mariah. Wizard’s the one I turn off
Everything She Wants is great (just my opinion), and I like the melancholy of Last Christmas. I’ve never understood part of the lyric, though:
Tell me baby, do you recognize me?
Well, it’s been a year, it doesn’t surprise me.
It’s only been a year – why wouldn’t she recognise you? Have you had immense liposuction/a severe facelift?
I worked on the assumption he was one of many. Just a brief conquest instantly forgotten on one side, not so on the other
I too went out with a girl (during my upper sixth year) who went off with – and later married – a farmer (with whom I had been at primary school) . She was in lower sixth at the time, and not really an ideal match for me – I got on better with her older sister and their mum.
Her dad was my bank manager. When I finished sixth form, I moved my account to a different branch.
‘moved my account to a different branch’
Metaphor of the week.
No more deposits.
His interest went elsewhere
Following an early withdrawal…
And right after he set up a standing order
As we moved through the 80s many young men found they didn’t want a relationship – they got everything they needed via a hole in the wall.
Of course it’s all contactless these days.
@gatz
Funny!!
@moose-the-mooche @rigid-digit @exilepj @Black-Type @mike_h @locust @mc-escher @Vulpes-Vulpes @Black-Celebration @Dai @Tiggerlion @Uncle-Wheaty @hamlet @fentonsteve @gatz @Freddy-steady
As you guys and girls were kind enough to comment you get the dubious pleasure of being tagged into the link for the full article. There’s funky tunes, fantastic performances and some truly mind boggling shorts.
https://www.toppermost.co.uk/wham/
Nice. Watching the videos I realised that I somehow managed to miss (or completely erased from memory) quite a few of their hits at the time. Didn’t miss “Wake Me Up…” however, and I’m happy to admit that it’s my favourite Wham song and never fails to improve my mood.