This contentious subject will cause a bit of pearl-clutching here, but I am of the firm opinion – and firmness is what I’m sure we all agree is a prime quality of the Knee Brace! – that a relatively simple and pension budget-friendly elastic “sock”-style solution is “the way to go”!
However, having set that “cat” amongst the “pigeons” I’ll open up the debate to the Forum. Let the “sparks fly”!
After your timely posting I’ve checked up and think I’ll purchase a new one like this. It’s Swedish you know.
I do have a knee brace for the other leg too.
That’s a sex aid, Hubes. Not for knee use.
I’d rather learn more about the seemingly electronic moggie HP dropped into the last line of his initial post.
From the Official A-Word Merch stand:
Is that yellow under the AW the glue used to hold the logo in place?
No, it’s designed by the same person who brought you the orange n’ oxblood web page.
Orange ‘n’ oxblood? Now that’s a cocktail!
Or a delivery for a Conservative MP in fishnets and an unusually angled necktie.
I wear something similar on my wrist.
When I was 15, I went over the handlebars of my bike, fractured the end of my radius bone, had a plaster cast for six weeks and, when the cast was cut off, a slightly wonky wrist (the bone grew back about 2mm too long). I get a fair bit of RSI pain due to the slightly trapped nerves, and I can’t touch-type so I use two fingers.
Anyhow, whenever I am (e.g.) gardening, I wear a bit of tubular bandage with a hole cut for my thumb. It supports my limp wrist and means I can keep bashing away for longer before it goes numb.
Where has that bloody Moosey gone?
There’s a reason why the “k” in “knee” is silent.
Do tell.
It’s the same derivation as nee, as in a wife’s maiden name. That’s why you’re supposed to ‘neel’ when you propose. I’m an expert in entomology, me. No wait, that’s insects.
That sounds like as good a reason as any. Now do “thumb”.
B’s are frequently silent (not aspirated) as terminal consonants. Tomb, womb, crumb, bomb, comb. This comes from the Old Norse fear of bees, who believed that voicing the “b” summoned enraged swarms of the honey-manufacturing amphibians.
Point of order it’s well known that bees are in fact extinct dinosaurs.
Nonsense. You’re thinking of slugs.
You’re both wrong.
That’s Herons.
I think you’ll find it’s the hoatzin.
Now available! Depeche Mode Limited Edition!
Your own personal knee-brace
For God’s sake please…take my money NOW!
You’re going to regret this because you’ve unwittingly referred to an obscure Depeche Mode in-joke. Ready? Martin Gore, in many songs, talks of being on his knees. Or, in one song, “I’m NOT going down on my knees”.
In the song One Caress the opening line is “Well, I’m down on my knees again…”. seemingly acknowledging that he often uses the phrase.
So – your playful AI image reveals a deep knowledge of 43 years of fantastic pop songs by the Basildon-born gloom merchants.
@h-p-saucecraft
Hope they are made from genuine GoreTex rather than the usual
cheap Thai knock offs we’ve come to expect from Saucecraft Inc
HAH!!!! GoreTex© is NON-STRETCHY and so would make a damn ineffective knee brace. No – these official Afterword© Knee Braces are made from genuine elastic (recycled from grandmothers’ corsets) and will perform years of service! Fully machine washable, they make for a stylish fashion accent when sporting shorts, or provide hidden support under trews!
@h-p-saucecraft
As a wordsmith, yourself, HP, you must surely know that, rather than allowing free movement, “brace” actually means to “make something firmer”.
Given its “non-stretchy” nature, I suggest that GoreTex© would be ideal the material for such a product.
Afraid I shall shortly be submitting the following “authentic consumer review” to Trust Pilot:
Afterword© Knee Brace
“Another not-fit-for-purpose” knock-off from Saucecraft Enterprise’s Koh Samui sweatshop”
Firmness, as I’m sure you’re aware at your age, is not rigidity. Information is not knowledge, knowledge is not wisdom, wisdom is not truth, truth is not beauty, beauty is not love, love is not music, and Nebraska is not Springsteen’s best album.
Kind Of Blue is not Miles Davis’s best album.
Silence is golden.
So good to see someone else brave enough to put his head above the parapet re. Kind Of Blue. The man made more “best” albums than anyone else I can think of, and Kind Of Blue is amongst them, but it’s become the worst kind of cliché, appearing as the token jazz album in rock lists, and an early purchase for anyone getting into vinyl who wants to display his classic good taste at dinner parties.
https://falsememoryfoam.blogspot.com/2020/06/something-for-sunday-dept-kind-of-white.html
As coincidence has it I have only just lifted the stylus off that very album. Yes its a cliche, its obvious. But acceptance by plebs doesn’t detract. It’s a very great album along with many others in his catalogue.
In other news, I wear special elasticated socks to help with me plantar fasciitis. If I don’t wear them, I regret it the next day.
Anyone else nursing a semi?
Ew.
Contributory negligence, thy name is Black Celebration!
Suckers! Wear a knee brace and your quads will think they’re not needed, shrivelling apace. The longer you wear it, the weaker the knee.
Just saying.
One did however get my knee and the rest of me round the Birmingham half-marathon a few years ago when I strained something a few weeks before.
Mr. Retropath here is talking out of his back passage. A damaged knee is never going to be cured by magically strengthening contiguous muscles. Supporting a damaged knee (with, for instance, an AFTERWORD© brand knee sock), does allow the surrounding muscles to work without causing discomfort.
Only if you wear it for short periods, or however long it took Mr Moles to get round his running race.
Not worn it since – it lurks at the bottom of the exercise clothes drawer.
That’s the right answer.
*takes a moment, stares down at hands spread on desk, speaks slowly*
You wear the brace. When. You need. The support. You need. The support. When your knee. Feels painful. To any degree. Or will be put under stress.
*suddenly losing it, rises, tipping chair back noisily*
RIGHT. That’s it. I really have better things to do. Black Celebration’s washer/whatever is still stuck and he’s seriously considering CUP HOOKS. The world has gone MAD. Good day to you sir I say GOOD DAY.
*exits, slamming door*
Tell that to Oxford College porters and they will ban them immediately.
I hope HP is wearing Gain The Edge socks as well for ultimate grip within the shoe or sandal.
Oh what fun. I wear an ankle brace because of foot drop. That plus walking stick mean that I generally don’t trip over when walking around. I’m 51… As Annie Lennox so vividly described it, it’s like having a dead fish on the end of your leg.
These are the ones I use for my foot drop accompanied with a rather knatty walking stick. Though I think I may invest in the Swedish one above.
Pardon my French, Hubes, but – Jesus Fucking Christ.
Jesus Christ indeed! You haven’t redeemed Thursday’s pre-paid i voucher.
We had a spare.
Foot drop? Never heard of it, so I googled it, thinking it might be the term for what happens to my foot sometimes – it just ‘releases’ when I am walking, and dangles loosely for a bit. I kind of have to keep walking purposefully and it somehow reconnects.
Turns out it’s not that at all. Have to wait a bit longer for my pet hypochondria minor twinge to be sated with knowledge.
Mine occurs because I have blood leaking onto the surface of the brain (superficial siderosis) and I also have a cavernous which also leaks blood. Long term condition and won’t get better.
However good news my knew walking stick has arrived complete with inbuilt torch and alarm. I shall try it out in that there London tomorrow.
The torch will come in handy when you set the alarm for an early hour.
Gosh that sounds a lot more dramatic than mine (as are your ankle braces). Mine is due to a long term herniated disc damaging the nerve. I finally had the disc removed and the vertebrae fused in February but the foot shows no sign of returning to life so far.
My knee gets quite uncomfortable from time to time.
Worse for me, I have two of the buggers. Twice the occasional uncomfortability.
*caring face*
So far my knees are just fine. Must be the lack of running and football in my life.
Knew walking stick.
You’ve stolen a bit of a dalek.
It shall forever be christened ‘dalek’ also the red band flashes so yet more dalek.
nice pogo stick (for ageing punks, no doubt)
How good is it for bludgeoning?
Definite crowbar possibilities.
“Bludgeoning ” it’s got a fair bit of weight so possibly. I managed to set the alarm off on a bus by bending down and accidentally pressing the alarm button so I’ll try that first before bludgeoning.
I think its use as a crowbar is limited as it’s collapsible.
This turgid debate needs enlivening with a list of songs about knee braces.
Feel the Knees in Me
You’re All I Knees to Get By
Knee and Mrs Jones
The First Time Ever You Wore Your Brace
More Knees (That’s What I Want)
A Man Kneeds A Maid
All You Kneed Is Love
Kneed Your Love So Bad
Brace With The Devil.
Adjust Knee.
See knee
Feel knee
Touch knee
Heal knee.
Anything by John Otway. The kneely man of rock.
Kneedles and pins
The kneedle and the damage done
Knee, myself and I
Amazing Brace
Brace With The Devil
Brace Springsteen
Kneel Young
Patella Fitzgerald
Bracing Cars
Bomb The Brace
I thought it was apt to come up with just the two.
I Kneed You by George Harrison
When I Kneed You makes Leo Sayer sound a lot more menacing.
Covered by Bread, of course…
The Carla Lane sitcom? Loveable cheeky scousers singing “I will nick anything you own”
When I kneed you, you stay kneeded, yeah?
I kneed you tonight- INXS(ive amounts of pain)
Is that song about restless leg syndrome?
GOOD NEWS FOR RESTLESS LEG SUFFERERS!
Bear with me here…this stuff about knees is all bollocks. According to Wookiepedia (arf) Kneebs were small, rodentlike creatures with yellow fur. The Hutts considered them a delicacy and used the cured hides to cover luxury items. They were apparently named for the cries they made.
Transporting crates of kneebs was part of a lucrative shipping business. One thousand kneebs were slaughtered and served at the wedding feast of Gorga Desilijic Aarrpo and Anachro the H’uun.
The picture is of them racing. A Kneeb race. I’m here all week.
It’s taken me a whole day to get that joke.
You’re a member of a very exclusive club.
Kneeb race … kneeb race … nope. Still not getting it.
It’s an anagram.
Bean creek. Got it. LOL!!!!!!
I can’t find the sign that says “Do you know there’s no proper name for the back of the knees.”
So have some knees Rene Magritting to you.
Alas it won’t post but imagine a pair of knees in a mirror looking like the Magritte painting of the back of the head.
Popliteal fossa (or even popliteum).
You’re welcome.
I did know and Viv wrote a poem about it.
I cannot find it however.
I really think @h-p-saucecraft needs to provide a list of stockists for the Afterword knee brace. I’ve been wasting my declining years scouring the shops for Corsair Tinned Chicken ©️ without success. I’m beginning to think it doesn’t exist.
I definitely see a branded merch opportunity here at t’Word. Cup hooks, crowbars, right-angley wheelbarrow tyre valves, surgical supports (for various body parts), Werthers dispensers, moist wipes …
Cursing eloquently when I go up stairs works for me.