Justin Currie – The Tremolo Diaries

Author:Justin Currie

Working as I do in community transport I encounter the gradual or in some cases instant deterioration in humans on a daily basis. People approach their individual circumstances in a myriad of ways from defeatism to extreme optimism and hope. The guy with cerebral palsy who still insists on playing golf and going swimming. The retired pilot struck down with paralysis after suffering from Gullain-Barré Syndrome just as he and his relentlessly upbeat wife were about to embark on the adventures they’d planned their whole working lives. The dementia sufferers who break your heart unaware as they are of their situation while the family are the ones whose lives really change. Those who just get old and slow down as their bodies physically give up. If I’ve heard “I never thought I’d end up like this Dave” once I have literally heard it hundreds of times. We all think we’re invincible. We all believe old age, illness or becoming infirm happens to other people. Until it doesn’t. It’s coming for all of us. Even our heroes.

Justin Currie’s Parkinson’s diagnosis came as a massive shock to me. I no longer have to imagine how big a shock it was to Justin as he has written this book The Tremolo Diaries. I’ve been fortunate enough to be given access to the text and after devouring every word; dear reader I cannot recommend his story enough. Don’t worry if you’re not a fan of his music. This is a human story, a story of bodily deterioration played out by a pop star who once had a number 11 hit. It’s an extraordinary read and one I tried to approach not as a fan but just as a reader. This turned out to be a futile exercise as Justin and his music have been a huge part of my life for nearly 40 years. Justin is a hero of mine and I don’t elevate many to that lofty perch. How can I read it as an interested outsider? I’m too invested. He’s somehow seen inside my soul on more occasions than I care to mention as many of you know.

Now, on to the book……

Of course it’s written brilliantly. Justin has a vocabulary and ability to use it beyond most. Never patronising or aloof but always intriguing and testing. Entertaining but never trite. No words wasted. If you are a fan it reads like an extended version of his solo songs No Surrender or perhaps more pertinently The Fight To be Human. A relentless attack on your senses drawing out recollections of things you weren’t even aware you’d experienced. That ability to observe and relay those observations to the reader or listener, story telling while expanding your horizons. Satire, self deprecating humour, beauty found in the everyday, painting a glorious picture with words. Forcing you to think outside of your box. Music’s gain was literatures loss.

We are introduced early to The Ghastly Affliction and learn of the diagnosis. Also to Gavin a shaky right hand who along with Justin is the main character in this unlikely buddy story. His appearances are unwelcome, unannounced and unrelenting. Part one as Del Amitri trek across the US as support to Bare Naked Ladies from enormodome to enormodome is essentially a tour guide going from the big cities into the the deepest parts of the US that aren’t likely to appear in a travel show. You’re more likely to see a Louis Theroux documentary from places like Toledo, Salt lake City or Nampa than a Jane McDonald sing a long (I love them both by the way). Part two takes us to Europe as support to Simple Minds. Through more recognisable towns and cities Justin still manages to draw a smile or a tear, a guffaw or a pang of pain and frustration. I haven’t travelled much, hardly at all. I now want to start. As a travel guide the book gets 5 stars. We learn that touring with a band is mind numbingly dull, repetitive and bleak except for the time spent on stage. Unless of course you’re fighting an errant and unpredictable right hand. So as well as regaling us with tales of locals, mega stores, museums (lots of museums), art galleries (lots of art galleries), eateries (lots of eateries) and the gigs we learn of the impact of Parkinson’s disease on a person who happens to be a successful (yes you are Justin despite your protestations) professional musician.

During long hours on the tour bus, the time before and after gigs, moments with strangers or fans is when reflection, self doubt and incredibly dark thoughts creep in to Justin’s writing. At times it makes for a hard read. This is the guy who I’ve wanted to be since he first sat astride a stool on Top Of the Pops singing his number 11 hit looking like a god. How can I grow my hair like that? Damn my genetics that forbade me the ability to grow anything other than wispy, irregular, flecks of facial hair not Justin’s magnificently luxurious sideburns. I can dress like him but I know I’ll never be anything like him.

He’s always taken his fame and success lightly, awkwardly as if he’s an imposter but the rest of us knew. To see him so exposed, so unsure, dare I say frightened of what his future holds. To see him unable to hide behind his mask of self deprecation however hard he may try. To see him as a mere human like the rest of us but suffering and angry in the public’s glare is incredibly moving. Such is his skill and openness you don’t need to be an aging fan to be moved. This is as raw as it gets. Any section where he talks about his partner and her situation as he tries to navigate his own situation and their relationship is almost unbearable yet worth the price of the book alone. Justin allows us inside his worst nightmare yet it’s one you don’t want to wake up from such is the quality of the prose.

Justin’s humour, frustration and fascination with the world provide rich pickings and throughout there’s plenty of gems to look out for. A bag full of guitar picks. A John Denver statue at Red Rocks. References to George Michael, Echo and The Bunnymen, Dylan and Edwyn Collins. We meet a guy from the Drunk In A Band roll call. Learn the importance of all girl band His Latest Flame to the Del Amitri story. From New York to Margate each location is embellished by Justin’s descriptive magic. I’ll certainly never view Bournemouth in the same way again. A German pen museum is given a review I’d imagine will never be bettered. I end feeling educated, enlightened, exhausted and enthralled.

Justin Currie has always written about the shit side of life, love and loss with brutal honesty in his songs. Anyone who’s heard The Last To Know or Empty or If I Ever Loved You or I’m So Scared Of Dying among hundreds of others know that this is a man who feels things deeply and has an ability to relay those feelings in song that is unique. This book, this diary, this opus, this confessional, this therapy session whatever it is takes it to another level. Writing this honest and exposing doesn’t come along often. As he looks to a terrifying and uncertain future your heart can only bleed for him. Ultimately it’s one of my heroes looking deep into my eyes not blinking and sighing “I never thought I’d end up like this Dave”.

The Fight To Be Human

I’m not a master of what I survey
To death and disaster I am a slave
But I am the author of the words that I say
Why do I bother – it’s all trash anyway
I try to be truthful, or I think that I try
I may not be useful but at least I’m alive
Millions of letters spilled into the hive
All of them worthless except for this line
I hate the world they gave me
I hate the world they gave me

Length of Read:Short

Might appeal to people who enjoyed…

Life

One thing you’ve learned

Time gets us all in the end

8