“Russia will never invade Ukraine. Putin’s just bluffing.” I’ll put my hands up to that one.
I’m sure you’ve been horribly, embarrassingly wrong just as often as I have. Sometimes right here, in this Forum.
Shall we all own up, now?
It’s Not Them, It’s Us!
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Well the name of the clip’s wrong, for a start. That’s not from That’s Life.
Interviewed a pre fame Catatonia once. Told them I thought their lyrics were a bit weak and that they might have to re work them. I thought I was being genuinely helpful. They didn’t change the lyrics.
I’m with you, Eddie. I saw them in a tent at the Phoenix festival and declared them “The Welsh Darling Buds.”
I liked Catatonia and Way Beyond Blue still gets a spin from time to time. The album least likely to be played is International Velvet.
Brexit, Trump, Johnson, Ukraine – never happen in a million years.
Where do you think I got my name from?
Re Putin: I just watched Lucy Worsley’s history of the Romanovs on iPlayer
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b06vmlcg
What struck me was how Russia always seems to revert to autocratic rule, even after the 1917 revolution, almost as if the population can’t cope with any kind of democracy or liberalisation.
I visited Moscow in 2007 and saw the graves of previous leaders. I was amazed to see flowers strewn over Stalin’s grave but nothing on his successors’
They had a brief period of liberalisation-ish with perestroika/glasnost and their empire fell apart. They’ll not be wanting to do that again in a hurry.
Me in August last year: “Everton have made a great start to the season. At least it means we won’t get relegated (knowing laugh)! Oh, what a classic fool.
I’ve no dislike of Everton… but they do deserve to go down. Sorry and all that.
You’ll hear no argument from me, young deremdaze. They’re bloody awful.
I well recall declaring, on hearing and loving ‘Upside Down’ that Jesus & Mary Chain wouldn’t manage another single let alone a whole album.
A few years earlier, after hearing that Barry Andrews had left XTC that they wouldn’t manage another album! I probably wouldn’t have signed the Beatles either.
To be fair, the Beatles were pretty dire on those demo tapes. It took an actual meeting for them to get signed. And a gag about a tie. That gag opened the door to ‘the sixties’.
Sounds like you need to read (or re-read) Mark Lewisohn’s All These Years Volume One for the full story! It is a long, weaving tale involving chance encounters, behind the scenes favours, and George Martin having an extra-marital affair. The upshot is that, contrary to popular myth, and as surprising as it sounds, they were already signed to a recording contract by the time they met George Martin and Harrison made his “tie” comment.
Back in 79 I said to everyone within earshot that I was glad Thatcher was elected because she’s so mad that there will be another election within 6 months. You mark my words.
To be fair, I was 12.
People a lot older than that were regularly predicting her downfall continuously up until Putin…sorry, Galtieri came to the rescue
If I were to list all the things I’ve been wrong about I might post my reply in around 5 years.
Just take it that everything I say is bollocks.
When Tottenham were caught opening cheating about 30 years ago, and got away with it completely (pre-dating Fat Boy J. – maybe that’s where he got the idea from?) – I said to anyone who would listen: “they’ll get theirs.”
How wrong could I be – since then they’ve won 2 League Cups.
Egg on my face? Poached or scrambled, Sir?
I made two predictions I have never forgotten.
1/ I was watching a music TV show and introducing a clip the host said, “She’s a big star in the clubs of New York and she’s going to be a big star here too.” Thirty seconds into Holiday by Madonna I thought, “She’s a one hit wonder if ever I’ve seen one.”
2/ I was watching a body builder being interviewed on TV and he was asked, “So Arnold, what’s next for Mr Universe?” and he replied,”I vant to go to Hollywood to make moofies.” and I thought, “Yeah right! With that accent! Good luck with that pal!”
It would be a decent contest as to which of them became a bigger star.
Excellent.
I saw a very early Jamiroquai gig, supporting Mother Earth. I thought we’d never hear of Jamiroquai again, and Mother Earth would take over the world.
I booked Southsea band The Dawn Chorus to play a Cambridge pub every 6 months for years. They were fantastic. One of them played a banjo. The year after they split, Mumford and Sons stormed the charts.
I chucked the founders of YouTube out of my office. “What a pair of time wasters, nobody is ever going to want to watch videos on a screen small enough to fit in a pocket.”
I told Mrs F not to accept the permanent job offer at the end of her 6-month contract at CSR, as BlueTooth was rubbish and would never catch on. She’s still there, 17 years later.
*reconsiders advice to “get a Fiio”…*
You’re being very hard on yourself. I, for one, still frequently deny that Jamiroquai exist.
I also saw early Jamiroquai! I thought he/they were a bit of a cheesy Stevie Wonder rip off and I couldn’t see the appeal.
I always find it very odd when people make predictions with absolute certainty about things they can’t possibly be absolutely certain about. I honestly don’t think it’s something I’ve ever done. Honestly. Check the internet.
Roger Waters was a great example recently, saying that the idea that Putin might invade Ukraine was: “bullshit… anybody with an IQ above room temperature knows that’s nonsense”. So having unequivocally established that he considered the ability to assess and predict the Russia-Ukraine situation as a valid indication of IQ, he was then proved an idiot by his very own criteria! Yet I somehow doubt it’ll make him any more humble or less convinced he’s always right.
I remember reading somewhere that back in the 1890s, the US government were seriously considering permanently closing the Patent Office because “everything that could be invented had already been invented”
Furniture? Tick. Apparel? Tick. Shakespeare? Tick. Electricity? Tick. Cheese and chocolate? Tick.
They had a point.
In 1899 the British Post Office declared the telephone would never be a success because there would never be a shortage of young lads to run messages.
I’m rarely publicly wrong about anything, but only because I’m too cautious to actually make a solid prediction about anything. It’s a good tactic I think. Especially since I am privately very wrong in my judgements very frequently. My most common is that no matter how much analysis, observation and reflection I do, and however much I try not to, I ALWAYS end up joining the slowest till queue at the supermarket (I’m thinking of calling it Cowslip’s Law or Cowslip Syndrome).
There is a trick with supermarket queues. Join the one with the fewest people making purchases. Ignore the volumes of shopping. The biggest delay is settling the bill. Scanning the goods is surprisingly quick.
I’m pretty sure I’ve tried that, but I will try again then will come back and shout at you for being wrong when Cowslip’s Law kicks in again.
Here in France it’s avoid the queues with old ladies. Seven items on the belt, each one after scanning examined minutely for traces of imperfection before placement in the shopping bag. That’s only taken a couple of minutes. Payment time. Ah yes, but I have many vouchers which I must exchange. Now where did I put them? Five minutes of “This one expired, Madame, as has this one. How would you like to pay?”
By cheque, naturally. Now where is my chequebook? Ah, you want my identity card. I’m sure it’s here somewhere.
Meantime, hell freezes over.
Next time pick the queue with the youngest person and most full trolley.
I see if I can identify the most no-nonsense checkout operator who knows what to do with the vegetables and that. Someone who is at least 40.
I’ve never been right, ever.
I’m even left handed.
I’ve told you this before. Many years ago I used to be a snooker referee. Working at a pro-am in Glasgow, I got my first glimpse of John Higgins. I told my workmates the following Monday that he wouldn’t amount to much.
His brother Alex was aces tho!
His Uncle Henry was a knobhead though. All that rain in Spain rubbish.
Another football one, but I thought Newcastle were dead & buried at Christmas. If you suggested they might stay up, I’d have told you you were mad. They’re now in 9th place!
Novelty song, very high voice, clearly bonkers. She will definitely be a one hit wonder (until I heard her 2nd single)
In the late 70s the consensus among those I hung with was that the Stones were finished, an embarrassment. They must surely give up. The strolling bones, Keith changing his blood in a Swiss clinic. Too old! Now I have tickets to their Stockholm show this summer. The big names never went away. They just kept going. I really thought there would be new acts as good as the old ones, continuously replacing them, getting better all the time. Didn’t really work out that way.
It’s a bit long for the site strapline, but with a bit of editing…
Me in 1989:
That Stone Roses album – yeah it’s OK.
And anyway, in all this Madchester stuff they’re in 3rd place behind Happy Mondays and Inspiral Carpets
The future? I reckon the ones to watch are The Quireboys and Dogs D’Amour
During the early 90’s I saw the Cranberries live several times at Newcastle Riverside. They were always supporting other bands and Dolores was rather shy onstage.
My friends and I agreed that they were ‘ok’ but not destined for greatness.
Saw them there too, and I remember them supporting some “next big thing” (an emotional fish?) and thinking they were much better. Never expected them to be big though.
I did the sound for an An Emotional Fish gig at university in 1989/90. I have a signed 12″ single somewhere.
I don’t remember the support, but it wasn’t the Cranberries – I was reading MM, who hyped them – and bought their Uncertain EP, which came out in (Wikipedia says) October 1991, by which time I’d graduated.
“That’s about as likely as Chumbawamba having a hit single.”
The agit prop band got to No. 2 in the UK charts and No. 6 in the States in 1997.
“A big budget tv series about a zombie apocalypse? I wish, but it will never happen because the horror genre isn’t popular enough and it would be too gruesome for transmission.”
The Walking Dead has run over twelve years and is about to conclude in 2022 after eleven seasons.
“That Japanese TV programme ‘Endurance’ Clive James puts on his show would never catch on in Britain. I can’t imagine anybody here would be prepared to cover themselves in scorpions or whatnot?”
There has been 396 episodes of ‘I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!’.
“Ha ha, maybe one day Damon Albarn and Noel Gallagher might collaborate on something? Yeah right, when hell freezes over”
They buried the hatchet five years ago and NG played on the Gorillaz track, We Got The Power.
“That Rolf Harris is lovely, ain’t ‘ee?”
Oh.
Nick Mason’s Fictititous Sports
(A Carla Bley album featuring Robert Wyatt)