Not me.
I’m a lover, not a fighter.
Inevitably: Best AW-er For Fighting.
by 26 Comments
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Musings on the byways of popular culture
Musings on the byways of popular culture
by 26 Comments
Not me.
I’m a lover, not a fighter.
You must be logged in to post a comment.
It seems everyone is afraid of you, Mike..
Starting them or finishing them?
Steve Turner looks like a mate you could rely on if actions needed to be louder than words…
I was thinking that Steve T and Retropath would be a team not to trifle with.
Chiz would strike like a cobra and then disappear.
Strike like a Cobra
Sting like a bee
A kick in the nuts
and I’m off for me tea
At least Retropath would attend to your wounds once he’s stopped inflicting them. He could dig the bullets out with the same knife he’d stabbed you with.
That must be because he’s under the Hypocritic Oath.
Oh I say, Hubes 👏👏👏👏👏 🙌
Hmm, I’m probably as hard as Walter White, but I relish being him in the scene when he ‘ debuts’ Eisenberg to Tuco….!
I am placid unless I am playing sport, then watch out!
I am placid unless I properly lose my temper (nb: hasn’t happened since 1995)…
Not me. Can any help me get the skin off this rice pudding? I also can’t seem to get out of this paper bag.
On first impressions, as sundry Afterworders will testify, my frame could cause me to be mistaken for a bouncer, albeit one with a penchant for folk singing. In reality, I am an underrated 70s prog rock band.
Useless at fighting, but you could fire me out of a cannon if you really wanted to flatten a couple of people.
I don’t know why I think this, but I’m certain most afterworders are average-sized or below, and either scrawny or paunchy. Plus, isn’t the average age of the site about 63? I think we might have issues with reach, with stamina, and with not dying immediately.
Also, the fact that everyone here likes to stay indoors listening to records and reading books about records doesn’t… fill me with conviction that we’re exactly The Suicide Squad.
However, I can confirm that Bingo Little is in insultingly good shape, is 6 foot tall, and is at the “not in immediate myocardial danger” end of the age spectrum. But he’s also a peaceable lad, so who knows?
So the only one of us who could actually have anyone won’t bloody do it?
Such is life.
I can confirm that I would be no use whatsoever in a fight. Far too ticklish.
Didn’t there used to be a dude on here who trained Olympic taekwondo champions?
Failing that, in my imagination Kaisfatdad is a gentle giant of a man who would chuckle his way through your punches and then bearhug you unconscious for your own safety, shushing you to sleep all the while, before leaving a list of recommended Finnish earhorn music for you to enjoy once you regained your senses.
I’m always on about how I’ve never been in a fight in my life, except I have – loads. It’s just they’ve all involved forcibly separating London teenagers who were knocking seven bells out of each other. Any damage to me was purely collateral.
I’d still be rubbish in an actual ruck: I don’t have the mens rea required.
I’m not sure how practical Olympic-level taekwondo is in a pub carpark type of situation – I think it’s quite balletic. Also they aren’t normally allowed to have house keys protruding from their fists.
Any opportunity…
Pffffft. The TKD stands for “total keys-in-knuckles defence”. I’d wager being a martial art ace is better than being unfit, inflexible and unused to being hit.
Otherwise you better hope you can bond over Beatles box sets before the first blow comes..
We buy all these box sets to hide behind.
Aw shucks, Bingo! That’s the nicest thing, anyone has said about me all week.
Not sure about the giant stature, but otherwise it’s pretty on target.
I do like the idea of disarming potential opponents by the surprise tactic of singing them great chunks of the Kalevala, the Finnish national epic.
Failing that, I could of course resort to a recital of Beowulf in the original version.
Works every time!
When I first moved down here, my co-workers thought I was seriously aggressive – all due to the Glasgow accent. I couldn’t understand it – as it turned out, they couldn’t understand me! They weren’t familiar with the regional nuance – anyone from Glasgow would recognise that I’m a softie from Clarkston, not a hard man from The Calton…
A large part of the success of Scottish managers in English football can be attributed to the accent. If Alex Ferguson spoke like David Beckham he’d still be at East Stirling.
Don’t ask me. i’ve shat myself already.