Apropos of nothing in particular my mind was wandering on a long drive yesterday and I played a game of people applying for a job that they very obviously not be best suited for. Examples:-
Alex Tsiparis wouldn’t be a good candidate for a job with The Tie Rack.
Morrissey as a meat packer? Nah.
‘Whispering’ Bob Harris as a Town Cryer? Don’t think so.
Any more? (I know there will be)
Van Morrison: Butlins Redcoat
Shane McGowan -Dentist
Lemmy – the new face of Max Factor
He could be the “Before…” face.
Robert Wyatt: Professional gymnast
Varg Vikernes (Burzum): Archbishop of Canterbury
Oh that’s harsh !
George Michael – Toilet attendant or driving instructor
Noel Gallagher – diplomat
Bob Dylan – Stand up comedian.
Neil Hannon – cage fighter
Bono – mime artist
Lee “Scratch” Perry – cognitive therapist
John Foxx – hunt saboteur
Kate Bush – Chat show host
Marti Pellow (80s model) – funeral director
Bryan Ferry – brickie
Joe Cocker – Bryan Ferry tribute act
Jimi Hendrix – chartered accountant
Andy Partridge – third guitarist in the E-Street Band
Jona Lewie – party planner
Toto Coelo – firm of undertakers
Florence Welch – Librarian
Stevie Wonder – Air Traffic Controller
Pete Doherty – Samaritan
Nicky Minaj – Nanny
Dave Grohl – Traffic Warden
Noddy Holder – Horse whisperer
Jeremy Corbyn – Prime Minister
Ooh, topikoo.
liddlebiddapolitics
“lih-uh-bih-uh paowtiks”
Mark E Smith – Speech Therapist
Ginger Baker – Children’s party entertainer
Paul Simon: New York Knicks captain.
Buster Bloodvessel: Health Secretary
Ted Nugent – PETA Ambassador
Sinead O’Connor – Catholic Church spokesperson
Phil Spector – Hair stylist
Frank Sinatra – FBI agent
Elvis Presley – FBI agent
G.G. Allin : Health and safety officer
Ozzy Osborne : Bat and small mammal sanctuary keeper
Arthur Brown: Fireman
Slipknot: Childrens party entertainers
Marc Bolan – Driving Instructor
Tony McCarroll – Drummer
Keith Moon – airline pilot
Sex Pistols – credit card promotion advisors
Royal Correspondents
Donald Trump – surgical hairpiece salesman
Lewis Hamilton – milk float driver
Dennis Bergkamp – airline pilot
Little Jim from the Goon Show – television commentator for the 10m platform dive
Donald Trump – Human being.
Love Donald’s last LP – rocks like a mother. Not too keen on Lewis’ recent effort though.
Jeremy Corbyn – Labour leader.
Mick Jagger – porn star
Angus Young – basketball player
Jeremy Beadle – masseur
Ed Miliband – voiceover artist
Arthur Brown – firefighter.
Greg Allman – Marriage Guidance Councillor
Pete Doherty – Drug Rehabilitation Councillor
Mark Kermode – Barber
Rick Parfitt – Business Change Consultant
Stevie Nicks – Elocution Teacher
Jimmy Savile – Children’s TV presenterShould have read the whole thread – there’s nothing worse than recycling someone else’s joke. ***Goes and stands in the corner of the blog***