I didn’t realise you’d been away/ Sorry, do I know you?

Like most of us who have considered the question, I subscribe to the view that rappers only thought they were rapping before Rakim. But, as much as I admire the Know The Ledge hit maker, it has always rankled that the very first words I heard him utter were
It’s been a long time
I shouldn’t have left you
Without a strong rhyme to step to
as though The R was like a modern Odysseus returning from a protracted war against Sucka MCs and I was an even bigger sucker to not be acquainted with his legendary body of work. To my mind, what’s particularly unfortunate about this misunderstanding is that it undersells the Paid In Full album, which is, if anything, more impressive for being a debut.
Some years after this mix up I found myself cursing that I did not live in the era of the town crier, for in such a society the peace of my morning would surely have been shattered by a “Hear ye! Hear ye!” that “Mark Morrison has a new single out”. Instead it was left to The Mack himself to ask me to “listen carefully while I sing my comeback song”.
The obvious response to “Return Of The Mack” is “top record indeed, but… do I know you?”.
Self mythologising and braggadocio is to be expected from our pop heroes and MCs in particular, but it does sometimes seem our culture is cluttered with characters whose appearance we are supposed to cheer as returning heroes.
The beauty of music is that Return Of The Mack or F.U.R.B. or Burial Of Longshot are hardly less enjoyable without supporting context. But ours is a world where cinemas are serving sequels to sequels and our TV shows are full of binge-friendly multi-series story arcs and this brings its own problems.
Long running soaps like to have beloved characters return years later. Twenty eight minutes into an episode of Eastenders, Dot’s in the kitchen when there’s a knock on the door. One “Hello Ma!” later and cue the familiar drum tumbling down the stairs.
At least Nick “that boy’s rotten” Cotton has always been played by John Altman. Often though, the impact of these “Guess who?” moments is diminished by an entirely new face in the role. After the tragic demise of the actor who played him, Mark Fowler reappears in the square. He removes his motorcycle helmet and we must adopt a Winston Smith-style act of mental readjustment for we are looking at Todd “Tucker” Carty.
Time Lords can have many faces. In the Doctor Who episode Utopia, Professor Yana opens his pocket watch and moments later Derek Jacobi is hissing pantomime villain style that he is The Master returned. All around the country kids are asking “Who?”
If you wanted Panto Villain there were few better at heaping on the relish than Ricardo Montalban. For the second Star Trek movie The Wrath Of Khan, the writers brought back a character last seen on the TV show fifteen years earlier. Khan recognises Chekov, remarking “I never forget a face”, despite the fact that Chekov was not part of the Enterprise’s crew when they last encountered Khan.
There was a whiff of the pantomime about the “Oh yes it is, oh no it isn’t” publicity for STD (Star Trek Into Darkness). Strenuous denials were issued that the villain would be Khan. And then the villain was Khan.
This Summer’s blockbuster, Terminator Genisys required a familiarity with the previous movies to keep up with the time travel plot. But more than that, it featured a twist
*AND NOW I AM GOING TO SPOIL THE TWIST*
where John Connor – the appointed saviour of the human race – becomes the villain of the story. This revelation only has emotional heft if you have seen all the other films.
Superhero movies are where the big money is now. A term we are hearing more of is “fan service”, the idea that these films should be made in a way that is acceptable to their ubernerd fans. This means that films have an audience divided between those weeing themselves when The Vision appears in The Avengers and the rest trying to keep track of all of the minor characters and assorted macGuffins in these movies.
Of course, when it’s done well this kind of thing can be adorable, as with Larry Buster Crabbe’s cameo in Buck Rogers In The 25th Century where he informs Gil Gerrard that “I was doing this before you were born”(link)
Do you have any thoughts on these dramatic reappearances of characters you’ve never heard of/ can’t remember/ never liked anyway?

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