Bored with boiled eggs? Omelette ennui? Fed up with fry-ups? Say sayonara to scrambled with Bothered Eggs! If you’re looking for visceral excitement and white-knuckle thrills for breakfast, this method of cooking unborn hens will change your life.
– Smear a little Yellow Spread of your choosing in a cold frying pan. (Olive oil and eggs are incompatible to my refined taste).
– Break a couple of eggs into the pan (cold). Get yer spatula and break the yolks up, swirl it all about until you’ve got Planet Egg, or an Eggy Marlie. Don’t attempt to whip it up into a homogeneous mass. Dust in a little salt.
– Light gas/electric ring/campfire under pan. Watch intently.
– When clear albumen begins to turn white at the perimeter, start Bothering your eggs. Don’t let them sit in the pan and get a flat bottom. Poke ’em about with your spatula (one with a pointy corner works best). Flip ’em over, cut ’em up, get a little air into the mix for loft. What you’re aiming for is a glossy, fluffy mass of yellow and white deliciousness, not a pale yellow cow pat. Don’t overcook. Stop before it gets dry.
– Turn your Bothered Eggs out onto the toast you cooked earlier. Even nicer with a slice of salami between – or bacon.
Perhaps other readers can share heart-clenching cuisine thrills with eggs?