I recall way back on this (or the other) site a very entertaining thread where Afterworders were asked to compose an additional verse to the Waterboys’ song “…and a Bang on the Ear”, ideally in the autobiographical spirit of the original. I propose a similar challenge but using the Half Man Half Biscuit song “Restless Legs”, as the template.
I have a five year old boy who recently seems unable to keep his legs still for more than a minute. As a result I’ve been sharing the song with my children a lot recently. On my commute to work this morning, I found my brain hard at work composing an additional verse that I’ll share in the comments. I thought it might be a fun challenge on here. Over to you contestants…
Here’s my first effort…
I’ve been thither, I’ve been yon,
The soles of my slippers are nearly gone,
I’ve lost the will to carry on,
‘Cos I’ve got restless legs!
In the context of the song, I think it would work as a second last verse.
Standing up to eat me tea
Looks like that’s the future for me
The tray no longer stays on me knee
Cos I’ve got restless legs
What a great video, btw.
20,000 steps a day?
I can beat that by some way
Just by living my life my way
Cos I’ve got restless legs
Tryin’ to keep my pins nice and calm
Mistake, I rubbed in Tiger Balm
I didn’t mean to cause them harm
Now, I’ve got restless legs.
I’ve got a job in a vineyard
I’m producing loads because it’s not hard
My fellow workers have all been barred
Cos I’ve got restless legs
It’s odds against a late night tryst
Oblivion or horizontal bliss
If I can’t stop doing the twist
She’ll curse these restless legs
(I’d slot it between verse 3 and 4)
Great response so far and a very high standard has been established, almost worthy of Nigel Blackwell himself. I knew you’d rise to the challenge.
Not my fault, blame Willis-Ekbom,
Leaky veins my battle Somme,
I can’t stop my wretched shimmy,
Cos I got restless legs…
(One for @tiggerlion )