Two weeks ago I applied for a job – not an amazing job, but a decent one. Like a twat and a buffoon I got my hopes up. My hopes of having a job that wasn’t a trap, a dead end, a repetitive trudge where I’m lorded over by intellectual pygmies who are all confidence and no competence, and a total and utter waste of my life.
This evening the rejection came. I wouldn’t say I’d taken it badly, but according to my browser history about an hour ago I googled “I want to die”. I was fast-forwarding to how I’m going to feel on Monday morning knowing This Is The Way Your Life Has To Be For Ever And Fucking Ever, Better Luck Next Time Pal.
Only music can save me from thinking life if completely worthless. Please oblige me.
Play loud, sing at top,of lungs, repeat.
Ta. Bernard’s whammy bar always warms me cockles.
(I am not being rude)
Can’t post a song from youtube on this stupid tablet (am in bed), but will try to think of something for tomorrow. Mwah.
You mentioned being in bed, which cheered me up for starters.
Mr Magoo pissed and flirty
Slightly nightmarish, but it’s the thought wot counts 😉
Horrible feeling, been there, those stupid patronising letters – “there were a lot of excellent candidates”….sod off. Cheer yourself up with The Long Ryders. They started this when I went to see them yesterday and have been feeling chipper all day as a result.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgVa-8jGfO0
I didn’t even get that – just a centrally generated email from HR instructing me not to ask for feedback because they don’t have time, the poor wee things. Well I don’t really have time to spend hours on applying for a job but I still fucking managed it thanks.*
Anything involving Sid G. is life-affirming, Dodgedude.
(*I am NOT bitter)
They never do have the time because employers like that don’t really give a shit about anything beyond what they can get out of you for your salary and their HR department care about nothing but hanging on to their own careers and salaries.
That’s been my experience.
Working for employers who don’t value people is generally not a happy experience. You’re almost certainly better off elsewhere.
Sorry, I forgot I was supposed to be cheering you up.
For years I assumed the Young Rascals were black. You miss a lot if you’re not alive when a record comes out.
I know the feeling and empathise.
Here’s something from around 1971- Groovin’ With Mr Bloe. Someone has done a nice video juxtaposition for it too.
Great – worthy of the OGWT.
That was wonderful @carl. In investigated, It seems to have been done by someone called kiddiesoulgirl99. Here’s another.
Herb Fame – You’re messing up my mind
I bet that you are a real Fred Astaire on the dance floor.
A bit like the bloke in this vid.
Sorry! Getting a bit carried away here this morning. Here’s another in the same vein that will help to get things in perspective.
Watching these jolly anglers enjoying the sea air will make you want to get your rod out too.
I might even have a dip.
When I’m feeling kinda low – an upbeat record like that Katrina and the Waves one makes me feel much worse.
Our artistic spirit must rests on secure foundations – succour and true joy can only be gathered up again by returning to the great works of our time. Let these simple, serene songs remind you of true inner peace. From here we build.
Just looking at that big lovely face is balm to my soul.
My SOUL.
You people.
PS I’ve mentioned it before but BB is almost the only person in the Carry On gang of whom Kenneth Williams speaks well – very well in fact.
Nicholas Parsons said that he (KW) was a joy to work with on Just A Minute. He said they had great fun. But then he read the Diaries and Williams seemingly hated the show with a passion.
Their loss, Moose, their loss.
Snarky Puppy always cheer me up. Try GØ.
“Their loss”… yeah right.
Kindly meant, but would have preferred real puppies.
In my rich history of not getting jobs I thought I really wanted, I almost invariably learn – sometimes not until years later, granted – that the position was a poisoned chalice of some sort. The company goes out of business, it gets bought by pricks, a new manager is introduced who turns out to be a spectacular dick, etc. etc. So look forward to that time when you will make the same discovery about your non-acceptance. And in the meantime, enjoy some Johnny Paycheck.
….ta. A Russell Group university is hardly likely to go out of business, but one can live in hope.
As Johnny has no doubt said many times.
Excellent song, BTW!
Plonk on The Basil Brush Show.
How come?
Because Mr. Roy loves him
Ronnie Lane AND Basil Brush?
I’m so cheered up I think I may need a Kleenex.
Moose, you big toe-rag.
Great. That’s in the same class as Anarchy in the UK to the tune of I Could Have Danced All Night (also Tony Hawkes, I think).
Nothing witty from me. Just sorry man. This song always cheers me up…
Great production. Completely bonkers.
This could be written just for you – Don’t worry!
And this could cheer up a corpse:
Fine tunes both. Hives dressed relatively normally there… are they getting middle-aged?
I posted this over on the TLTSN thread, but what the hey. The Man delivers … this may just get the nerves thrilling again, Moose. Lifesaving.
So much to enjoy about that footage…
Van’s white trousers/black belt combo!
Smoking! On-stage!
Watch strapped firmly upside down on the wrist of his shirt (presumably so he can stalk off stage the moment THE MOMENT his contracted time is up)
A small child!
That band – my gosh, that band…
fooking magic
Tremendous. What a band.
And your man at the organ looks like he’s off to do an Open University film straight after.
As Mr Diamond says, the tab is a wonderful onstage accoutrement for this type of thing. Later swapped for the occasional sniff of amp dust.
You get letters ?
I’m in the job market first time in 30 years and at a touch off sixty it is a rotten place to be.
My experience is they say if you haven’t heard from is after a week assume you’ve failed.
In a similar position, taken redundancy from a workplace I came to hate working at, wrong side of sixty, four and a half years to my pension. Will look for part time work when I return from holiday.
Moose it’s time to visit Jollity Farm, give Misery Farm a miss.
It wasn’t a letter, it was an automated email. Just ever so slightly better than fuck-all.
A slogan we had in the Miner`s Strike back in the day – “Don`t let the bastards grind you down”, I`m lucky Moose, I`ve just said fuck it done my 50 years of toil. However 10/11 years ago when I felt the need to give something back, I was a self employed electrician, I applied for a job of support worker. I was knocked back a couple of times by smarmy know it all twats. I later learned that the companies who had knocked me back were some of the `bad ones`, they don`t exist today. I kept at it and succeeded at the 4th attempt and went on to enjoy helping others at just above minimum wage, then as a coordinator, not much more pay. I loved it. The point is keep at it, I don`t know what you do or want to do but you seem to be `your own man` even if you are a cunt, joking ; )), keep at it but then there`s always the music… Good luck mate.
Thanks.
I should at this point say that this is only the third proper job I’ve applied for in ten years, so a sense of perspective is probably in order.
PS and my cuntiness is the subject of several UN Resolutions, I believe
Maybe you need to adapt your interview technique. Like Spud.
Brilliant!
I’d forgotten how good that is.
…..pleasure!
A classic, the best bit in the film. (Even better than the Archie Gemmell sequence)
Sorry to hear that, Moose. Bastards!!
What you need now is Morrissey. And Mexico.
A large bottle of tequila and a cantina full of frisky senoritas might also help.
Cheer up! You’ve got Eurovision to look forward to next week.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pIc6-vO1l4
Best Krautrock vid ever. Makes Faust look like the Dooleys.
I woke up this morning and knew exactly what I was going to post. They’ll all be familiar, as I’ve posted the first two before and you’ll definitely have heard the third, but all three properly make me smile, and even give a me tingle sometimes.
Audition scene from Pitch Perfect:
Old movie dance clips set to Uptown Funk – unbelievably joyful:
And finally Donny. Goosebumps when the crowd start singing. Magical. And take note of the song title xx
Hope you have a good weekend.
Aw, mini. They brought a tear to my eye.
Ta.
Ah, sorry, Moose. I know precisely, preeecisely how you feel. It’s a motherfucker, as E might say. (But I’m not posting that song because it’s very sad to the point of actually being dangerous.)
Have big ol’ Cee Lo instead. Fuck ’em.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mkTPgZZXnU
Have you ever thought about moving abroad – new perspectives and all that? I have no idea what’ll cheer you up in these circumstances, but there’s a Pete Kember song I’ve had on repeat for a couple of days now. The lyric is resigned, but the music has a quiet, understated majesty that I find incredibly moving and uplifting. I hope you do too. Good luck.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kh7hNSHmNH8
Moving abroad would be my thought. I’ve never understood how people can spend most of their brief time on this planet doing something they don’t enjoy. I knew at a very young age that wasn’t for me and that early conviction has only strengthened with age.
I don’t know if you have kids, Moose, but it seems to me that having kids is the only reason to willingly sacrifice your own enjoyment of life. If you haven’t, move somewhere really cheap. Nowadays, with Skype and the net, it’s easy to stay in touch with UK friends and family. Rent out your house in UK and live off the rent. Or if that’s not an option, do part time work (teaching English?). If a feckless fop like me or a macho sex-God like h.p.saucecraft can do it, anyone can.
Yeah. The answer to your question is responsibilities to other people, Gary. I can’t speak for anyone else but when I started in my career, and for many years afterwards, I adored it. By the time I stopped adoring it I was senior in my profession and had two children. It’s not that people choose to do jobs they don’t like: they either have no choice or they liked it when they started and then got stuck.
I didnae ask a question, Bob. But yeah, I totally get the kids thing. If you have the responsibility of raising kids you have to do what’s best for them, not yourself. (The selfish bastards.) (Though they more than compensate, of course). But without them, I can’t think of any other valid reason to do a full-time job you don’t enjoy.
How about … unsupervised access to the stationery cupboard?
I don’t even bloody have that!
Photocopying and as much paper as I can steal, mind. Incredibly fulfilling…
Yes, I’d agree with that, although Brexit could severely narrow the options with regards to living in the EU. Here in Spain, you can rent or buy for a fraction of UK prices. Food and booze is a lot cheaper, and there is always lots of sun and clear blue sky to lift the spirits.
We are just starting to plot leaving the UK when I’m too old to keep pushing flight cases around for a living (about 10 years or so). Greece looks favourite at the moment although my wife wants to keep a place here.
If your present circumstances allow, or encourage it, a dramatic physical displacement – preferably to a country where the weather isn’t shit and a round of drinks and a bag of crisps doesn’t cost thirty quid – will put a shine on your boots, a spring in your step, and a song on your lips. Ho for the open road and all that. If such an option isn’t open to you, obtain job satisfaction at work by carefully engineering the career ruin of your “superiors” through anonymous sabotage and treachery in the workplace. You’re smarter than they are. Be merciless.
“Move somewhere really cheap” – dude, I live in Hull. The only place cheaper is medieval Iceland. (cue joke about prawn rings)
As to HP’s point about sabotaging the careers of my superiors, I do that without even trying. Though there’s probably some more fun to be had in that direction.
*consults Roger the Dodger’s Book of Wheezes*
Shit news, Moose. Don’t be deterred – something will come up if you keep at it.
In the meantime….
“something will come up if you keep at it” – thanks for that. A Hurrr a day keeps the doctor away.
Aw, chin up Moosey ?
How nice… you think I only have the one.
Listen to Gary fine advice, Moose.
Do like me and move to a country where the sun shines 12 months a year and the booze is cheap.
Er well, …almost anyway.
But when you do head for Heathrow, your packs packed to start a new life, I think you should also give some thought to the Afterword. How great it would be for us to have a blogger in some new far-flung corner of the world.
Imagine how popular your posts would be if you were blogging about the metal scene in Siberia or the reggae bands of Antarctica!
Failing that, there’s always Morocco……
But if Moose set out for sunnier climes he’d miss all this.
Thanks @pencilsqueezer. That is one of the most remarkable YT vids I’ve seen.
I waited in anticipation for something interesting, unusual or thought-provoking to happen. It didn’t.
The story of my life!
In fact, it’s a great example of Slow TV which has become very popular in Norway.
Live streaming of nothing much happening.
Why not try this? A 7 hour long clip of a Norwegian train journey.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7VYVjR_nwE
Way to cheer a guy up, Fats.
He can’t help it. He’s got YouTube Tourette’s.
At work: “Hey, KFD – finished that report for the boss?”
“Sure have!”
*emails YouTube clip of hedgehogs doing the Harlem Shake to boss. Again. Is fired.*
And I thought you were making it up, Bob.
‘Slow to which has become very popular in Norway’. Those wacky, fun-loving Scandis.
So true.
Did you know that when Cyndi Lauper’s megahit was released here in the Nordic region, they had to change the lyrics to appeal more to the locals?
It worked. Girls just want to have glum was a chart topper.
That’s never Hull. Those shops are open!
Look on the bright side, you might have got the bastard:
Ah, the man who invented not getting a job.
I make no apologies for posting this version with Jools Holland. It always makes me feel good.
Sadly it reminds me of the f***in Hootenanny. But thanks.
How about this one Moose.
It is not the greatest song by 70’s Aussie band Skyhooks but I think you will quickly master the chorus.
Ace!!
Totally singing that on Monday morning.
another workplace anthem for you
Not working?
How ’bout this one?
https://youtu.be/WlBiLNN1NhQ
Good advice. I have a nice house, all the music I could ever possibly want and a wife with big bosoms. Life could be a lot worse.
Your wife’s been worried about you, Moose. Just the other night, she called through from the bathroom and …
*wupes*
Pistols at dawn, you unmannerly varlet!
Don’t know how to post clips. Just as well. Wouldn’t want to start a trend of frenetically posting innumerable clips and then manically responding to my own posts. That way madness lies.
What I would suggest (apart from listening to Da Doo Ron Ron on constant rotation) is to buy ‘What coilour is my Parachute’ and work through that or a book called, IIRC, ‘What job do I want to do?’.
You are not imprisoned on a galley ship – you can make efforts to change your life. Only one person can do this though and you have to be willing to make your very best efforts and accept that you will often face rejection.
is the parachute a “who moved my cheese” type of book ?
It’s to help clarify one’s thoughts and provide practical advice.
yeah thanks ,I looked it up which is what I should have done instead of just asking you 😉
And your pithy description seems right on the money.
Your last paragraph struck a chord with me. 22 years ago I was stuck in a rut, properly going nowhere and pretty broke, when a casual acquaintance said, “If it’s not working then do something else.” It was so obvious yet it took someone else to say it. Honestly, it changed my life and gave me the kick up the arse to get out of the mess I was in.
This is good advice that I may well take, being in bit of a work rut myself. The main problem I have with changing up my life is that all I have ever wanted to be is an astronaut or a member of The Rolling Stones circa 1973, and it’s going to take one hell of a self help book to pull that one off.
Moving is a no-no for me. Moving to our current house – which I love – was a very long and stressful process which I wouldn’t want to put the long-suffering Mrs M through again. She already has to put up with various ongoing health conditions and a husband who likes Kluster.
Nice thoughts all. Yes you have cheered me up.
One of my major talents is sitting on my arse feeling sorry for myself – perhaps I should have left that off the application.
Seriously… thanks.
*GIVES MOOSE MANLY SHOVE IN CHEST WITH BOTH HANDS*
*FALLS BACKWARDS OUT OF OPEN WINDOW IN COMEDY DEL-BOY FASHION*
Moose the conclusions I’m reaching are:
1. networks have very limited benefit. Unless you are a complete gun and a position is bang on your attributes then people will say best of luck and get on with their lives.
2, Jobs have really tight requirements because everything has got a specific course for some narrow task so they will say “must have XYZ” and they mean it. Your sweet talking application saying I don’t have X and Y but I do have Z just doesn’t cut it ,especially as the first cull of applications is often done by a computer looking for keywords.
3 I’m realising that all my world of experience and competencies mean fuck all if you don’t fit the box. Switching careers seems to mean you must take time out and get the qual they insist on and then maybe then that qual plus your other stuff might count for something. Course by then I’ll be even older than now. But it’s like Ian said further up, what do you really want to do leads to what is it that they want that is going to get me a job doing what I want to do and then alas figuring out how to get whatever it is they want.
I’m 42 and I’ve been in the same job for ten years. Screams “employable” doesn’t it? …. oh dear.
I’m 63 and I haven’t had a job for two decades. Still – you never know!
You used to have a job?
Sheesh!
I was a Caged Animal Masturbator for many years.
Instant Moosecheerleader. The Aw is bit like a fairy godmother, eh?
Touch your wand. Make a wish. And you shall come to the ball.
So Bernard Bresslaw is not on Spotify. His estate must be raking it in from physical format sales.
Dukky nikky? nikky dukky!
Moose, that’s a pisser.
I shan’t have you upset. I’m packing my whoopee cushion and I’m coming to stay for a month.
Watch this over and over again until I get there.
Funnily enough I spent Friday evening running around the house saying “Whatarewegonnadonow? Whatarewegonnadonow?”
This usually works for me. Cheer up old chum.
Well, Molly certainly cheered me up. Hurrrr
Here you go. Hari Om.
Actually I’ve been mainlining All Things Must Pass for the last couple of days so you’re on the money there my friend.
Behind That Locked Door – I always have to check it’s an original and not a Nashville standard.
Let It Roll /Frankie Crisp – the guitar on that is as heavenly as music gets.
Love both these tracks to death. Sir Frankie has the same hypnotic effect on me as Something in the Air.
Apropos of fuck all; I read that Ringo can’t remember which tracks he played on ATMP. Anyone (prob tigg) reached any conclusions?
I’m given to understand that the question of who-plays-what on that album is a very grey area indeed owing to the rather frenzied Cast-of-Thousands way it was recorded. “Derek’s” contributions are unmistakable of course, but beyond that… good luck.
I think Ringo played on My Sweet Lord, Wah Wah, both versions of Isn’t It A Pity, Beware Of Darkness, All Things Must Pass and I Dig Love. I reckon the last two had Jim Gordon playing drums as well.
Actually Wah Wah is unmistakably Ringo.
The Apple Jam stuff is basically George & Derek and the Dominoes, non?
Wotabout Frankie, Locked Door and What is my Life? Bongo or no?
What is Life sounds like old Richie.
I’m thinking Jim Gordon is on What Is Life and Alan White for Frankie and Locked Door.
Whatever, ATMP is the best Beatles album, and shows the leap from lightweight music hall clapalongs to proper grown-up rock music that the Fabs could never have made as a group. It’s a great, great album. And Spector does it proud, too, his last masterpiece.
Hurri up Hari, Come Om,
We’re going down the pub.
Right – that’s cheered the old boy up – can we get back to the tardigrades issue?
I missed that. Is it someat off Game of Thrones?
It’s a beautiful, harmless creature that looks like Rob C’s knob, and its natural habitat is being chemically razed even as we speak.
From Wiki:
“Tardigrades (/ˈtɑːrdɪˌɡreɪd/; also known as water bears or moss piglets)[2][3][4] are water-dwelling, eight-legged, segmented micro-animals which resemble Rob C’s knob[2] They were first discovered by the German pastor Johann August Ephraim Bustwartz in 1773. The name Tardigrada (meaning “looks like Rob’s knob”) was given three years later by the Italian biologist Lazzaro Masturbani.[5] They have been sighted from mountaintops to the deep sea, from tropical rain forests to Rob C’s driveway.[6]”
The Moss Piglets – TMFTL
I’m guessing Somerset Indie Folk?
Concertinas may possibly be made to squeal during their performances.
Approach with caution.
How does a Kula Shaker inner sleeve help me?
So the Tardigrades aren’t dragons with big breasts? I am confuse.
Third door down.
Only the second best thread on weedkiller* ever to appear on the Afterword.
(*or is that the weed-on threadkiller? Nope, that’ll be me)
Look. Heavy Pollen so I have gone ‘jazz’. I will respond properly at a later date.
Why didn’t I think of it? What a disconsolate Moose needs is some hot Coco.
Quadron – Hey Love
And now for the hard-core Quadronaires, here’s a short doc about them playing live with a full band at the Concert House in Copenhagen.
Coco Malaika. Just her name cheers me up. A third Q album would cheer me up no end, but on recent BBC4 evidence the Danes are spending most of their time murdering each other.
Here’s a bit more Coco for you, Moose.
I’ll try and find out what she’s up to. She’s a big star in Denmark, and seems to do the occasional guest appearance.
Here’s her FB page which has a few newer clips.
https://www.facebook.com/cocoowino/?fref=ts
By the way, I’m really enjoying the Spotify playlist I made from this thread. The AW at its eclectic best.
Moose, you know that if I had a spare job I’d give you one.
“You can take your stinking job and shove it right up your arse!” Or something – it’s right at the end.
Flowered Up – Weekender.
Barry Mooncult – of the Gloucestershire Mooncults, of course!
I can tell you’re out of sorts – I said I’d give you one up there, and not even a murmer.
A postscript:
Today, just as I’m starting to repress my disappointment, they mistakenly sent me details of the presentation task as if I’d been invited for interview…. and I had to spend the rest of the day thinking about how I would have totally shredded that motherfucker!
(This isn’t a mistake, I think it beats the Yvonne Fair version… just)
This makes me wonder which was the real mistake – the automated rejection email or the interview details? Maybe you should ring ’em to check.
Never heard that before. The song was a hit in the 70s for Yvonne Fair whose version included the classic line “somebody call the po-lice, that woman down there is a doggone thief”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRZ_7lt7C6U
Cheer me up… read my posts!
PS. If any more glass falls on my head I’mma stop chucking these stones altogether 😉
Sorry, didn’t spot the last line.
See what you mean Moose.
“Tiptoes away out of earshot.”
But it is a sensational version, isn’t it, Alias?
A fine version no doubt. I’m a sucker for those early drum machines and a gospel belter so for me Yvonne Fair’s version edges it.
Here’s something that might cheer you up Moosey. I discovered Tina Turner’s 1974 album of country covers this morning, a must for fans of country soul (sadly never released on CD). Here’s one of the two Dylan songs from it:
Erm, I picked this youtube clip for the sound quality, but you may enjoy the pictures too 🙂
Thanks luv.
“I picked this for its sound quality” is going to be my go-to excuse from now on for fruity content. That said, the images of Nick Cave and some auld coffin dodger put me off me stroke somewhat. (Not much, mind – momentum and all that)
Anything that tries to rescue TT’s reputation from 80s stadium naffery and reassert what an outstanding singer she was is A Good Thing. It’s a sad truth, but in much the same way that David Bowie was making some of his best music when he was nearly overdosing, Tina Turner made her best music when regularly getting the living snot beaten out of her by Ike. Sorry.
She’s due a Rick Rubin-inspired renaissance, non? Except I think she’s kicked up her high-heels for good.
It’s an odd collection of images, isn’t it?
The full album is on youtube and well worth a listen:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NijKCBpA0hw
Here’s a marvellous, uplifting Taylor Swift song, performed by Postmodern Jukebox who I saw live last night.