This was posted by BC Camplight today
(Please add your own fucks in the comments. It’s good for you).
So, I’ve been disappearing into depression over the last 6 months. My Dr. thinks I’m bottling something up. See if this helps. Fuck Boris Johnson, fuck hipster Avocado on toast, fuck lad-rock, fuck the painful shape of toblerone, fuck Ryan Adams, fuck Depeche Mode not thinking to record/sell “your own…personal…pizza”, fuck fake outrage, fuck all music sounding like an apple ad, fuck Trump, fuck the last 2 beans that don’t come out of the can, fuck Oasis, fuck Victorian lampstand Rees-Mogg, fuck emojis, fuck celebrity, fuck it being impossible to fit a usb correctly on the first try, fuck “we’re calling about your recent accident”, fuck Fox News and Huffington Post, fuck my Dad dying, fuck my sock sliding off in my shoe, fuck influencers, fuck living your truth, fuck abs, fuck the people behind you that stampede when a new till opens, fuck Youtube comments, fuck that creepy fish with the light bulb antenna, fuck “this left the judges speechless”, fuck people who say “fustrate”, fuck “please remove the last item”, fuck you, fuck me, Amen
Well said!
Here’s hoping your situation picks up, as I’m does everyone else on the AW.
x
Fuck noisy motorbikes, fuck sweaty jumped-up insurance salesman Arron Banks, fuck Apple suggesting I only want to listen to my favourite (sorry favorite) tunes as opposed to tunes I’ve never heard before, fuck the cough I’ve had for 10 days, fuck the chancers who have fucked our country, fuck petrol-driven garden machinery, fuck James Delingpole, fuck all the morons on Twitter who keep telling me what democracy is, fuck the shipping company who lost 3 boxes of old books I sent to Blighty (and don’t answer the phone or emails), fuck whoever decided it’s now watch on and not look on, fuck TV ads, fuck all the pond life revealed when Brexit moved away the Parliamentary rock, fuck the NBN fiasco (one for the Aussies there), fuck Australia’s immigration policy, fuck mosquitoes and midges, fuck people who think avocado on toast is a lifestyle choice and not the most delicious thing ever.
You’re right, it helps. Hope it helps you.
“Watch on”? I’ve not heard this, but fuck anyone who says this in advance!
@mikethep I had a cough for the first 4 months of this year and it’s still lingering, threatening to return. The doctor puts it down to acid reflux and gave me Omeprazole which did clear it up [it’s fighting back now that the course of tablets has ended, so I may need to get some more]
It could be worth considering if yours doesn’t clear up soon.
@lemonhope I’ll give that a go, thanks. Must be careful not to ask for Omi Paloni.
Ooooooh inne bollllld!
And praise be this space where we can vent our fucks against all the fucking fuckers and may your devils stay away.
Turn off the news, build a garden.
Fuck the lot of you. I’m off.
Fuck it. I’m back.
Get up offa that thang and dance til you feel better.
Yo man, yo yo
Fuck Cinderella, Fuck Bon Jovi, and motherfuck Prince, man.
No
More
Rock’n’roll!
No
More fuckin’
Rock’n’roll!
For clarification it’s not me that wrote the original post. But thank you if you thought it was.
Oh, and it wasn’t me that put asterisks in the title
Who the ******** ****** did then? What a *********, whoever it is.
******!
I blame Paul Weller – he’s their leader
No Fucks on the main page. Fuck yourself silly after that
Then we’d be silly fuckers.
Plus ca change.
Fuck Now TV who havent give me my money back for my cancelled subscription, Fuck Chinese owners of football clubs, Fuck Jack Grealish and his smug face, Fuck the weather forecast, Fuck the wankers who stay in the middle lane on the motorway for no reason, fuck bus lanes, fuck High Street chain stores yes you W H Smith, fuck pollen, fuck idiots everywhere.
Fuck being made redundant at work. Fuck not knowing when. Fuck having to work harder to cover up for the fact that other people have decided to give up. Fuck finishing work after working for ten hours without a decent break and then thinking about having to do it all over again tomorrow. Fuck not being able to find another job in the meantime. Fuck all those people who resort to using the term(s) ‘remoaner’ or ‘snowflake’ or ‘gammon’ as an insult because they’re incapable of having a proper discussion. Fuck BTL comments. Fuck Donald Trump. Fuck Brexit. Fuck Boris and his amazingly fast growing hair. Fuck all those Conservative MPs who’ve voted for Boris as their leader, who obviously know something the rest of us don’t. Fuck having Jeremy Hunt as the only other possible option. Fuck Jeremy Corbyn being the only Labour Leader Boris can probably beat in a General Election. Fuck all those politicians who care more about themselves than the people their supposed to be representing. Fuck all those who don’t clear up after their dog. Fuck the drivers of cars who park on both sides of the road between my house and the town centre. Fuck the police. Fuck the pain away. Fuck you, the truth. Fuck it (I don’t want you back). Fuckin’ hell, it’s Fred Titmus.
Fuck life. Fuck a job. Fuck a career. Fuck a family. Fuck a fucking big television. Fuck washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Fuck good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Fuck fixed-interest mortgage repayments. Fuck a starter home. Fuck your friends. Fuck leisure wear and matching luggage. Fuck a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Fuck DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Fuck sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Fuck rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats that you’ve spawned to replace yourself. Fuck your future. Fuck life.
Shouting Bitter, Bitter, Bitter, Bitter
Fuck a duck!
Oh Swive!
Fuck Croydon, fuck trains, fuck tubes and especially fuck the Circle Line, fuck not knowing what I’m doing half the time, fuck my back, fuck the American Congressional process which seems to have been hamstrung and befuddled by the blatant and flagrant criminal ignorance of Donald Fuck and his awful family, fuck rolling news channels and the eternal Breaking News which is never fucking news which is breaking, fuck the tedious gravity given to sport, fuck the journey sportspersons go on, fuck it just score a fucking goal and fuck off its not fucking important, fuck twats who play downstroke chords on a guitar and call it a fucking song or, worse, a groove. Because its fucking neither. Fuck I’ve got fucking loads more but its fish fingers for tea.
Fuckin’ fish fingers!
(….very bad taste joke from the olden days…)
Finished. I had 6. A good number.
Now. Fuck anyone who says ‘passionate’, fuck PR-schooled politicians especially those who make emphasis gestures with a bunched fist with the thumb on top, fuck BBC local news, I don’t care about hygiene standards in kebab shops or a rescue package for a park bench refurb, fuck grass, fuck weeds, fuck my garage roof, fuck my front porch, fuck external paint work generally, fuck Gatwick Airport and having to fly from it when we live closer to Heathrow, fuck base jumpers and extreme sports junkies and other show offs who frighten people, fuck not learning to play guitar right-handed when I first started so now I can’t just pick up someone else’s and play. Fuck, etc ad infinitum
Fuck base jumpers and uncouth cardigans.
@beezer
Six fishfingers…fuck!
A mere bagatelle. An amuse-bouche.
alternatively….
Hmmm… nah, fuck that.
Fuck all that, we’ve gotta get on with these.
Fuck this and fuck that.
Fuck it all and fuck everything.
There is no fucking redemption to any fucking thing.
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck and Fuck
Yes, swearing is big, and it is clever
must they flying this filth at our pop grandads?
Fuck the 7 sets of badly-configured poorly-maintained speed bumps that I have to drive over whenever I want to go anywhere at all in my car. Fuck box junction cameras. Fuck potholes.
Fuck my luck.
Obvious, but needs saying … Fuck fucking cancer
And fucking dementia.
Abso-fucking-lutely
Definitely, especially for my dad, who was initially diagnosed last week.
Fuck it with a big fucking stick.
168 fucks so far
Fuck that for a game of soldiers. We can do better.
F for fuckin’ effort.
Fuck people drinking fucking drinks out of fucking jars.
This isn’t 19th century Australia. Use a fucking glass, you fucking fuck.
PS. is the new line at the bottom a reference to The Simple Minds?
Fucking Jeezus, is this fucking thread still going?
Fucking looks like it
A machine fitter I worked with on my apprenticeship tended to use the word fuck as a comma, or a rest point whilst he worked out the rest of his sentence.
A common phrase when encountering a problem or break down was The fucking fuckers fucked
A friend of mine who worked in engineering in the early 90s encountered that.
My friend: “Do you know what’s up with it?”
Guy who had come to repair something: “Mmmm, I dunno mate. All i can say is the fuckin’… fucker’s… fucked!”
My friend: “Ahh, fuck!”
Feeling Fucked Up
By Etheridge Knight
Lord she’s gone done left me done packed / up and split
and I with no way to make her
come back and everywhere the world is bare
bright bone white crystal sand glistens
dope death dead dying and jiving drove
her away made her take her laughter and her smiles
and her softness and her midnight sighs—
Fuck Coltrane and music and clouds drifting in the sky
fuck the sea and trees and the sky and birds
and alligators and all the animals that roam the earth
fuck marx and mao fuck fidel and nkrumah and
democracy and communism fuck smack and pot
and red ripe tomatoes fuck joseph fuck mary fuck
god jesus and all the disciples fuck fanon nixon
and malcolm fuck the revolution fuck freedom fuck
the whole muthafucking thing
all i want now is my woman back
so my soul can sing
And here is Jackie Leven’s version of the above ..
Fuck the fuckers in front of me at the cinema last night – [Rocketman, didn’t care for it]
Pissed up and talking/singing loudly throughout. Fuckers!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdfwFDZGnUk
From the Macc Lads of hip-hop, this was the swearingest record in the world in 1990.
PS. Who has the film rights to the life of Bushwick Bill? What a…er…”character”!
Fuckin’ hell! He just died! Fuck that!
Can’t post the video so here’s the lyrics to Slim Gaillard’s Chicken Rhythm.
Buk off, buk buk
Jay it low, Chicken Rhythm
Buk off, buk buk
Jay it low, Chicken Rhythm
Buk off, buk buk
Jay it low, Chicken Rhythm
Buk off, buk buk
Jay it low. Chicken Rhythm
When that rooster start to crow
Grab your partner on your way
Then you move out on the low
Cause it won’t be long for the break of day
Buk off, buk buk
Jay it low, Chicken Rhythm
Buk off, buk buk
Jay it low. Chicken Rhythm
Buk buk buk buk, buk off
Buk buk buk buk, buk off
Buk buk buk buk, buk off
Buk off, buk off
Buk buk buk buk, buk off
Buk buk buk buk, buk off
Buk buk buk buk, buk off
Buk off, buk off
Buk buk buk buk, buk off
Buk buk buk buk, buk off
Buk buk buk buk, buk off
Buk off, buk off
Alexis Korner played that and, chuckling, said it was an early punk rock record.
Fuck 12 mph under the speed limit drivers
Fuck under 10’s football Mums & dads who think it’s OK to abuse a 13 year old Ref when the decision goes against them
Fuck those parents who feel the need to have their off-springs name(s) tattooed on their body…what’s up can’t you remember the child’s name?
Fuck Mr Whippy ice-cream….it’s crappy
Fuck those who hairless palid unwashed gormless individuals who at the first sign of it being warm choose to discard their shirts and walk around the streets whilst drinking cheap piss-poor lager in a vain attempt to kill off their final working brain cell
Fuck fuck as it isn’t big or clever
Fuck Glastonbury….
https://youtu.be/VdEgmtOcv6U
Fuck the last two weeks!
Fuck the last two years!
Fucking right. And I say again, fuck Croydon.
….as Tim Dog nearly said thirty years ago.
What a crap record.
Blessed are the thread-revivers, for they shall inherit the fucking earth.
que es que se?
Fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-far f#ck