Perhaps you can think of other instances where … no, never mind.
Fake Nose Attracts Unwanted Attention In New Mark Wahlberg Movie
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Musings on the byways of popular culture
https://www.thedailybeast.com/obsessed/by-any-means-mark-wahlbergs-ludicrous-fake-nose-dooms-crime-drama/
Kenneth Branagh’s Poirot moustache.
Well played, sir! Now I remember it, it’s unforgettable.
Maybe he thought a bigger nose meant Oscar comes calling…
https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2026/apr/22/the-hours-movie-nicole-kidman-nose-queer-classic
This is canon.
How about a bigger head? John Hurt was Oscar nominated for The Elephant Man but lost out to Robert De Niro.
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2020/mar/12/the-elephant-man-review-david-lynch
Does anyone else remember the “How big is your HEAD?” thread?
Just me, then.
Robert De Niro’s Mohican hair piece in Taxi Driver.
Nicole Kidman as Virginia Woolf in “The Hours”.
Good choice, but moseleymoles first across the line by a nose.
I think Vic and Bob made fun of it on Shooting Stars.
It’s probably not what you were getting at but how about Kryton’s head in Red Dwarf.
The thing about this Wahlberg movie I don’t get is, wasn’t there any stifled sniggering on set? Did absolutely nobody think this was a bad look? The number of people who went along with this, not one laughed out loud?
The only Wahlberg movie I can remember is the terrific The Other Guys, which you are supposed to laugh at. Maybe he thought this was another Funny Cop movie and the joke went over everybody’s head?
I can’t be bothered to google it but didn’t he do a film about a porn star where he wore a fake knob?
He certainly did, I think it was called Boogie Nights, about a 70s porn star called (ahem) Dirk Diggler. Can’t remember that much about it, other than I saw it in New York and it was utter tosh.
Managed to miss that one. He was in”Rock Star” too which wasn’t terrible but wasn’t brilliant either. No fake bits as far as I remember.
Ah, yes. I think I may have watched it. Wasn’t it meant to be based on John Holmes, he of the massive todger who wasn’t fussed where he put it.
Yep that was it. That’ll teach me to go and see an “edgy” film in NYC, trying to look cool.
Boogie Nights is great – a fond homage to a more innocent time, surprisingly. One of PTA’s best IMHO. Chock full of great performances by top notch actors.
The only scene where we see the entire “a-hem” was a waist-down shot and was played by a real person. OK…OK…you got me…guilty as charged!
Wahlberg has quite the CV, also in Ted 2 – whose standout gag was Wahlberg knocking a sperm lab’s shelf’s worth of samples all over himself.
That’s actually an all-time legendary build up to a gag. They entire scene – in fact a 10-minute diversion of the plot, involves Wahlberg ending up lying on the floor coated in sickle-cell research sperm samples, just so Ted can say “You look like a Kardasian.”
There’s beaucoup great gags in The Other Guys, This is tasteful:
Joseph Gordon-Levitt wears a fake nose in the film Looper. He is playing a younger version of Bruce Willis and the ugly hooter is suppose to make him look more like the BOTVH. Thing is, we can all remember young Bruce from TV and he didn’t look like that.
Before that was the powerful kid detecting nose of the Child Catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
And before that was the – admittedly, central to the plot – stuck on conk in Cyrano De Bergerac. Steve Martin’s Roxanne is a retelling of CDB, but with a regular dude stuck with the protuberant proboscis..
Didn’t Steve Martin have an issue with a protuberance in the Man With Two Brains?
Roxanne … could’ve hung a red light off the nose
Are you thinking of Peter Sellers in one of the Clouseau films? Martin also played Clouseau (badly).
I was thinking of the scene where he turns around and breaks a pane of glass in the door because he has a stiffie.
Ah yes… from his Golden Era.
Bugles, you say?
Hatchamatatcha! His nose was like a save-loyyyy
Sitting at my piano the other day……
Spike Milligan goes full commedia del arte:
https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/spike-milligan-wearing-false-nose-and-hat-april-1989-news-photo/113246983
I remember a piece in – I think – Q magazine where they set up a meeting between Spike and Van Morrison. There’s a photo of Spike wearing that hat and nose – and Van Morrison laughing.
https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/spike-milligan-and-van-morrison-portraits-april-1989-news-photo/113248455
https://www.pauldunoyer.com/van-morrison-spike-milligan-interview/
Thanks! That’s the very one.
“I’ll have to call the police.”
Wahlberg has an idiosyncratic acting style, doesn’t he? Aggressive Douchebag, I think they call it.
The only decent one of his is Play Dirty, a dark comedy crime caper from the very dependable Shane Black. It’s pretty good. No fake noses in it though, sadly.
He’s also very good in Lone Survivor. His portrayal of a really desperate, wounded soldier in the finale might be his best bit of acting.
2 Guns was a good caper movie.
Speaking of Mark Wahllhbrug, er, Whalborg, uh, him, what about the Planet Of The Apes fillum lark he’s in where Bellatrix Lestrange has an entire false face, playing Mark’s primate squeeze Ari. She manages to look rather fetching despite the lavish prosthetics. I felt sort of strangely grubby, fancying her in that.
Oh yes, for me it was the divine Helena Bonham Carter who can do no wrong, even in ape makeup.
You guys.
He is – by some margin – the worst screen actor I’ve ever seen. His range is unique: it’s limited to confused or vacant.
You obviously haven’t seen some of the Wahlberg-free atrocities I’ve paid to watch.
And anyway, ‘confused or vacant’ covers about 90% of the human experience.