And here we are once more, celebrating all that is wonderful and European in popular music. So do join in if you feel like. It’s heavy on the CGI in the opening credits – and there’s shaping up to be a big circles theme, the makers of the BBC1 idents may wish to see their lawyers.
Eurovision live blog
by 185 Comments
Ah we’ve only got two minutes in before Wolfgang Amadeus makes an appearance – surely not his last tonight.
I am loving the Newtons cradle cum lights get-up – really our kitchen would be much improved with these undulating gently from the ceiling. And – singing hosts? – that’s wrong surely.
I liked the violin lady’s white frock, and bosom
Hitler Youth Singing Division on now
I do miss the synthetic flirtatiousness between a classic tall bloke/blonde Eurovision presenter combo – not sure we’ll get that from 3 ladies
Serbia – weighing in! A heavyweight contender surely
Epic progressive rock opening!
Woah! I see a Goth maiden đ
John Lewis weighing up this cute film for their next ad surely – there is a brilliant ‘eternal moonwalk’ website which pretty much does the same thing. I like Curtis from Johannesburg. Dull ballad backing – let’s get the singers on.
Slovenia first – some epic air violin from a Jed style dancer – and their gimmick appears to be headphones. Its not much of a gimmick. Song itself is inoffensive – but very nineties.
Silly squeaky voice though.
Dont think it’s trouble the leaderboard. France on now – a wartorn world and it’s raining – some gobsmacking projection screens and a proper wow moment as the drummers come out of the screens – she is giving it a proper Bonnie Tyler
Not fair. You can sing anything in French and it sounds gorgeous!
That was a top song – won’t win but great performance
Israel – just a touch of middle Eastern percussion – and a whole load of R and B lite – is he really singing ‘ Let me show you Tel Aviv – this is how we do it?’
Nice geetaar, Estonia. No chance.
Nice looking too. She’s not bad either.
Oh my god Its Downton Abbey the Eurovision Entry. Expecting Maggie Smith to come on for a guest rap any second
Louis Armstrong meets Manhattan Transfer What’s not to like.
Just to clarify that was the UK. Hey another benefit of independence for Scotland – gotta reckon they’d be a shoe in for a Eurovision win the year after independence
Luke Haines tweet during UK spot “I do not like the cut of this cunt’s jib one bit” has made my night
That’s nice. Mr Haines must be a lovely chap.
Armenia worst so far.
Armenia were not good.
Lithuania. I didn’t feel the love. I didn’t raise my hands up in the air.
Now Serbia that is how to do it. Start ballad and (spoiler alert) go Weather Girls half-way through. Absolutely brilliant. They will be there or thereabouts.
Norway have a good tune and a new Carol Decker,
Can’t help feeling going after Serbia did them no favours
Some awkward bantz from the hosts. As they can’t flirt with each other forced to come on a bit needy and complain noone has given them their phone numbers.
A Bowie cover coming up! That’s not allowed, surely?
the Sweden entry is freaky,
Sweden, winner, winner, chicken dinner. Great song.
Chris Martin has penned the Sweden song surely – feat. Calvin harris too. Monstrously catchy.
Peters and Lee
Nerd chic is a brave angle on Eurovision Cyprus.
Sounds nice, in a boy band ballad kinda way.
And extra points for singing “I should’ve” and not “I should of”.
Australian entry keeps alive the spirit of Neighbours. The New World not quite ready to tackle the Old World’s finest – a bit Bruno Mars. A bit meh
Australia in Eurovision?!!!?
Looking forward to the Botswana entry?
It was to celebrate the 60th anniversary of Eurovision.
Belgium? “For the wicked ways down below…”
I really liked that. Shame about some of the lyrics, but he’s a talented young chap. My fave so far.
Belgium – edgy! Not sure it will win or even do well but quite like it. Slow motion moonwalking and a song that keeps slowing down when you expect it to speed up.
and the hottest backing singers so far.
Blimey. this guy looks AW-friendly!
omg – pianos on fire! But he plyas on. Now that is a quality Eurovision gimmick. This is the most interesting thing about a dull Toploader entry from Austria
plays on.
Greece sounds like a Bond theme.
After a good run Greece take us back to euroballad hell.
Which Montenegro continue…
Not much to say about Montenegro. They won’t win.
Germany? Hurrrr, that’ll blimmin do me.
Was there a song? I had no idea
Sweet song from Poland. Not sure that’ll do very well.
It’s all gone horrible! The cynics were right! Make it stop!
Interesting tactic from Poland. “Yes it’s poor, but I’m in a wheelchair”.
Latvia are pulling it back. This is a good song.
Latvia. I’m torn. I know loads of folks from Latvia and they could really do with some national unity right now. On the other hand they are f***in broke.
Not a bad song. Probably too wibbly to win.
And standing on a box?
I can completely see the reasons, but it is a shame Ukraine couldn’t get an entry together … something they could all have got behind.
Heisenberg!
With Hooky!
You know if Runrig were Romanian this is what they would sound like
Little Rioja Riding hood!
Something will happen with that cloak
I liked her better with the cloak on
Christ. this staging makes Pink Floyd’s last tour look like Fingerbobs.
Machine guns on the eurovision stage. I knew it would be only a matter of time.
Goth chick alert!
@moseleymoles, sorry this particular piece of chewing gum lost its flava flav a long time ago. I’m enjoying a Megadeth concert from 1991.
Is this Georgian emo woman actually singing words?
Na, not for me. even with thigh-length black PVC.
For the parents in the audience she looks pretty much like a female version of Raven from the eponymous CBBC series. He also talks about warriors.
She was how I imagine RobC to look.
Arf!
Azerbaijan a cert for best key change of the night. Westlife would have been off their stools for that one.
“A Million Voices” – of people we’ll f***ing wipe out if they don’t do as they’re told
Russia are becoming the Evil Empire of Eurovision that’s pretty clear.
On the one hand, it’s a song contest. On the other hand, Russia winning now after Conchita Wurst and what happened today in Ireland would be profoundly wrong.
Why have I spent the last 2 hours being honked at by windswept ladies in enormously dresses?
I’m not hearing the Spirit of Pitkin in Albania’s entry
I’ve noticed a couple of other things, however
“enormous”
Albania. So much to answer for.
I do not require black pepper
arf
What’s Italian for Il Divo?
Italy! My land, my turf, my manor, my ‘hood! Bet they’re crap.
They are giving it 110% Gary.
I wish they weren’t.
Crikey. I thought Italian men were supposed to be stylish.
No beard. Beard. Beard and Tache. Something for everyone.
Well, my vote is for Belgium.
Estonia for me. Obviously it has no chance.
Norway for me, at least until they started over-emoting.
Think winner will be Australia though
In our house I it’s one for Serbia, one for Georgia – a minimole.
Sweden was a properly good tune. As was Australia. But Belgium should do it.
A lot of implants tonight, I’ve noticed.
Oh no, it’s a four hour drum solo! Time for the bar…
That’s enough for me. I’m going to retire to bed with my Northumbria Bird Atlas.
Bloody hell, Colin H should be watching this!
The bloke fronting them up is very very annoying
It’s Mike Westbrook meets Danny Boyle’s Olympics…
Now it’s gone very strange. People with giant stained glass windows on their heads – or something. Only in Eurovision.
Sweden is my fave song but the Serbia song has the Eurovision credentials.
Russia or Spain. You heard it here first. It has been very dull, ballad after ballad.
Spain! You are out on a limb on that one. Russia at least is a better song than when they or Azerbaijan won a couple of years ago. But it’ll all be about the voting.
Our faves: Sweden, Serbia, Italy.
I’ve only perked up since I’ve realised that Conchita Wurst translates as Conchita Sauaage.
Sausage, even.
Vagina Sausage, to cheer you up even more. Possibly a stage name.
Well, quite.
Yes. Only taken a year for that particular penny to drop. My synapses are made of treacle.
This drum solo is still going on – honestly John bonham would be back from the bar complaining
Charlie’s good tonight innee?
Just tuned in after catching up with this week’s George Gently. The stage, lighting and percussion orchestra get my vote
Fanny Cock
Is next year’s UK entry. We might as well try a Roger Melly approach. Nothing else works.
The interval thing was properly good, especially the brass.
Right, back now. James DeGale is IBF World Champion. What is occurring?
Oh dear, darlings, we have a straight person on the thread!
Two semi naked men punching the crap out of each other. Are you sure?
*gruff voice*
Those aren’t pillows!
The sweat, the toil, the clichĂ© – songwriting graft … er, craft
is it just me or is Conchita given rather more airtime than the usual last year’s winner?
Hilariously, Conchita’s first one starts off like Supertramp.
From the album Penis? What Penis!
This really needs to be remixed by Junior Vasquez. 90s house joke.
s(he) has the narrowest waist in the whole universe
No child-bearing hips there, I fear
Please bring back the drum solo. Make the interviews stop.
At last the voting
What? Montenegro votes for Serbia? I am just shocked!
Finland votes for Sweden, entirely on merit. Fine song.
I like the graphics which look like cities launching ICBMs at each other
That’ll be Russia pointing missiles at us… oh wait, that’s not a joke
On closer inspection its Vienna nuking us all
Hitler lives!
Everybody’s voted Tory after all… selfish bastards
Russia’s doing really well… oh god, It’s like May 7th again
Yes! Looks like today is going to be a victory for nice, normal, heavily-armed heterosexual people who take an active interest in peace and security in neighbouring sovereign states. Yay! Pass the polonium!
Ooer, Conchita is sitting with the Russian contingent. Uncle Vlad won’t like that.
Hurrah! the scrobs and their cartoonie thing.
I liked the tune. I like the non-homophobia and lack of a fascistic foreign policy even more.
Can’t believe Italy are doing so well
There must be one hell of a Eurovision party nearby, the police helicopter has been buzzing around for about ten minutes. Multiple spotlights
Building Bridges, doing colour changes with the Pepsi Cola logo?
If I was UKIP minded I’d want the referendum to be staged the week after this. It’s a reminder that everyone f***ing hates us.
And the French and the Germans.
I fucking hate that song, and I quite like potato waffles.
which song would that be Gatz?
The UK entry. Try YouTube for a mashup of that and the old Waffles ad – you really can’t spot the join!
Personally i thought it was a ripoff of Button Up Your Overcoat.
Nobody outside of the UK is interested in 20s jazz novelty tunes. And even here….
If hey’d had the reformed Bonzos playing it…
That mash-up. I was both on iPad and drunk last night, making posting the video here challenging.
I have got the results on, but I didn’t hear any of the songs.
I think I have got this the right way round.
Indeed! I’ve had enough now, though.
Building Bridges… Apparently an ISIS spokesbeard has just announced that they will be entering in 2016.
No, Burning Bridges. They’ll be going in with a Pink Floyd cover.
Nigella. Of course. Just what I think when I think eurovision
Drugs, cake, tits – perfectly logical to me.
Curse! She stopped speaking German just as I was “getting ready”
Sapristi!
I don’t believe the Russian rep tried that gag. Did not go down well.
Fair play to him, I thought that was funny.
How thin is the Icelandic woman? Emergency donut airdrop in the morning.
Black edges, it’s an optical illusion. Very clever.
If Russia win I think the other nations must ramp up the camp for 2016. There may be a Berlin Olympics moment with Putin storming off when it is clear that the winner is one of “them”.
It’s over mate, the Ref just stepped in to save Russia from further punishment.
Who and what is San Marino?
Sounds like one of those countries that England struggles to beat in the European cup.
He was James Dean’s co-star in Rebel Without A Cause.
San Marino might be one of those small republics like Andorra, I think that San Marino is in Italy (or Italy is around San Marino).
Big up for Graham Norton! He talked good sense and affectionately sent the whole thing up. Nicely pitched.
Well I think the Russians will be hurting but the Swedes were a worthy winner. Good thread everyone. Time for bed.
No-one tells me what time to go to bed!!
You can stay up as late as you like!
*zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*
Oh yeah?
You won’t catch me going BOINGGG! at this time of night.
Boing Boom Tschak, perhaps.
For this I got up at 4.30am?
Just read through this and it was a hoot.
Here in Sweden we take the ESC very seriously and wouldn’t think of being distracted during the contest.
Mrs KFD was very happy last night. I’d perhaps have been happier if a country that hadn’t won before had been the victor.
Like Estonia, who I voted for.
Which seems to prove I’m not really Swedified. They really want to win.
I looked at the winning song earlier. Very clever performance – must have been impressive to witness live.
The UK entry was pretty poor in comparison.
Did Wet Wet Wet do a tour of Sweden in the 80’s? . The singer looks familiar.
MĂ„ns was pretty magnificent. But that song was the product of a long selection process and months of hard work.
If the UK really took the ESC seriously and actually wanted to win, I don’t doubt that they could come up with a cracker of a song. Look at Australia. They’d never been involved before but delivered a charismatic artist with a funky hit that I’m sure we’ll be hearing all summer here in Sweden.
Last night I had to choose between ESC and a re-showing of Apocalypse Now. The horror, the horror.
At least the ESC didn’t have anything as preposterous as The Doors.
Did we win? who won? why?
Yes, incredibly enough, we did win. For the fourth time in 25 years. It’s getting to be a bit of a habit…
I think if you look at the winners of the past twenty-five years since the fall of the Berlin wall:
Scandi bloc – Finland, Sweden, Denmark, Norway, Denmark – 9 wins
Eastern Bloc – Russia, Azerbaijan, Serbia, Ukraine, Latvia, Estonia – 5 wins
Everyone else in Europe except Ireland – 6. France and Spain have not won since 1990, England, Italy and Germany once each.
Ireland – 4
Interesting to see whether the Baltic states – Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania – separate themselves from the Eastern Bloc and join the Baltic bloc as there were some indications of this happening on Sat.
Oops six from the Eastern Bloc there not five.