My brother has recently separated from his wife, and is seeing a therapist as there’s quite a lot to process. When I saw him he said that one thing he was finding positive was the suggestion of eight little things that get you through the day. A sister thread to the morning routines one we enjoyed last week. Not work, and small things that are under your own power to achieve on a daily basis. His were:
Get up at the same time.
Yoga after getting up.
Walk the dog.
Don’t drink.
Some form of exercise other than the above (he is a big fitness person).
Eat proper food and cook something.
That’s six…. Can’t remember the last two.
So I’ll put mine in the comments – some the same, some very different. What eight little things help you get through the day?
Eight little things that get you through the day
by 93 Comments
All of these I cannot remember going without except in very particular circumstances – maybe a holiday travel day or similar. When I went to festivals some of these would indeed drop off…
Listening to Music
No other explanation needed here surely.
A cup of good coffee.
Reading some fiction. Can’t remember a day I didn’t do this more or less ever, though possible the day the kids were born.
Eating something nice – and also cooking something.
Wordle/Connections/Spelling Bee – lunchtime reward at work.
Some form of exercise – though with the temp have not managed anything since cycling to work on Monday. So not every day, but four out of seven and I feel it when I don’t do it.
Share something trivial and amusing online with family/friends – today it’s Sandcat from Libya.
Wearing something that makes me feel good, from my super worn in DM Boots, to Levis, to a Paul Smith shirt.
So why isn’t drink on there MM, be honest? I do try for 3 dry days a week, so although a glass of wine or a single malt certainly can make the evening more relaxed, it’s not like reading or coffee…thats what I tell myself.
Get up late
Get up at irregular hours
Sometimes walk the dog if Mrs W is busy
Play backgammon
and Play records
and drink
Go to bed late
Spend excessive time on the blog
food
medication
music
podcasts
work
exercise
nap (if I can)
dancing with myself
Thanks to everyone who took part in the morning routine blog last week – sorry not to acknowledge in the thread itself…
1. That morning routine itself – it’s becoming a habit, and building on itself, so different parts evolve and complement previous days, such that it’s a real fixture of ever-lengthening duration.
2. Waking the girls at 6:30 and telling them they have 15 more minutes sleep – lovely to see each of them in the morning and enjoying the pre-school ritual with them.
3. Cycling to work, either along the Rhine, or through the town – such familiar routes now, I’ve been doing them since before the Afterword started and I feel I know every inch and feel every bump through the tyres.
4. Stopping before work for a coffee and a bun at the van run by Ty, another English exile in Germany – he knows your order, and that of every other person who comes by.
5. Going up in the lift with colleagues and continuing to their floor because I like the conversation – I can always walk down (or up) the stairs afterwards.
6. Saying good morning on WhatsApp to friends and family – and getting messages back from all over.
7. James O’Brien, slightly delayed to miss the ad breaks. A bit of an over-exposed pleasure by now, his tropes are very familiar. But he does seem to interact well with listeners.
8. Selecting a song I love, then asking my music player to add 30 random songs that I haven’t listened to before, then hearing them without looking at the titles – rarely is there something I hate listening to, Usually I find new favourites.
That hardly takes me to lunchtime, but it sets me up well for the rest of the day.
How long is your cycle to work?
5km each way. Not long, but long enough.
I can’t sing at all, but that doesn’t stop me belting out some old favourites most days on the drive home when I have the car to myself. I usually have to go down an octave from the recorded version though, high notes elude me utterly.
If I could pick a super power, it would probably be to have a great voice. How good must it feel to soar effortlessly over a group of musicians? Sadly I’ll never know…
Me too I can’t sing but like you if are any spare super powers going being able to sing is up there .
I am not sure how this ended up in the wrong thread! Apologies.
Feel no shame, @atcf! I believe that car singing is genuinely therapeutic. If I’m in a car and the Beatles are on, I can’t help but sing, which probably explains why I drive alone 99% of the time. The genius of Peter Kay’s Carshare was recognising the value of a car-based singalong.
Painting and or drawing, it’s reflexive, it’s essential.
Reading a book. Again it’s something I do everyday. I cannot remember a time when this hasn’t been an integral part of my life.
Listening to music. Another everyday activity.
Waking up early. I love the quietude of early mornings, the lack of human hustle and bustle. Just me and the birds enjoying the early morning light.
Dreaming. She comes to me then and we talk and laugh and everything feels complete again.
Walking. Walking was so painful and awkward for so long until my hip got fixed, now it’s become a joy again. It’s true you doesn’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.
Talking to people especially friends. Anyone who knows me even in a cursory way will acknowledge that I love to talk. I am the epitome of a person who is drunk on words. A verbose bugger.
Good clothes. I’ve recently become somewhat addicted to buying and wearing interesting clothing and footwear. This has come as a bit of a welcome surprise.
Out of interest @pencilsqueezer what sort of interesting clothes and footwear? Any particular recommendations?
Portuguese Flannels for shirts.
Service Works for chef’s pants and overshirts.
On for trainers.
Represent for athleisure wear.
Stan Ray workwear.
Service works looks great, as does Stan Ray. Need to investigate!
Represent not really me, don’t do athleisure..
I’m not really into athleisure beyond trainers and the occasional piece of clothing. I don’t like big logos plastered across clothing or anything else come to think of it. I’ve restricted the Represent pieces to a couple of pairs of trousers that I must admit are probably the most comfortable pants I own and the branding is very discreet.
Ooh yes, I’ve seen some Service Works and Stan Ray gear and it all looks great.
Well made, hard wearing clothing. I should have mentioned Vetra for worker’s jackets. Classic French workwear. I love worker’s jackets, I’ve been wearing them since the 70s. I seem to have accidentally accumulated quite a few from various manufacturers over the years.
I sell vintage clothing and worker’s jackets are consistently one of the biggest sellers. I really like well constructed, practical clothing.
Me too although I don’t mind a bit of impractical as well. I like to mix it up.
@pencilsqueezer I have been cleared by the domestic authorities to get myself a Vetra jacket in traditional blue. I had a knockoff in the 70s that didn’t last long, and I’ve been looking for the genuine article ever since.
Can the size guide be trusted?
A wise man married to an even wiser wife. I found that they fit accordingly assuming you’re buying directly from Vetra. They are meant to be a little on the roomy side presenting a boxy silhouette. I used to pick up used ones for a couple of Francs or less in Paris at the flea market back in the 70s. They were invariably badly repaired but that just added to the charm. Ideal wear for painting.
Yes, all the models on the Vetra site look like a yard of pumpwater as my grandmother used to say, all tightly buttoned up with no hint of a pot, the bastards.
The risk always is that if you cater for the pot the shoulders are too wide and the sleeves too long. Never mind…
I can confirm that pencil has no pot, especially now he is mobile and eating less cake.
Also, ON are the most comfortable and supportive footwear known to mankind, having broken my foot two months ago.
1/Get up at 5.00am and have an hour to myself watching tv ( at the moment Spiral for about the fourth time )
2/ Take my wife a cup of tea at 6.00am back to bed for a chat .
3/ take our neighbours 3 dogs for there early morning walk ( they lend them to us as my wife needs an excuse to walk )
4/ leisurely breakfast at 9:30
5/ catch up on some fiction reading.
6/ listen to some podcast or music.
7/ cook something late afternoon as I do most of the cooking now and enjoy it.
8/ fall asleep usually with a book on my lap & listening to our Spotify sleep playlist .
All these things make me happy and get me though the day .
Just remembered another one if I’m allowed, afternoon nap is a must .
Gretchen has the answer.
1) I find as much time as I can to avoid other people is essential to me. People want so much of your time and energy these days and it’s bloody draining
2)Music, all the time if possible, except…
3) Quiet reflective time
4) Meditation/hypnotherapy to Relax
5) Reading, although I have 101 books on the go, one of them is JUST right for my mood
6) A drink…I know this isn’t right but it helps
7) Checking in here to see if there are any updates/new topics…seems to help my stress levels
8) Playing with our two dogs (Collie and Romanian Mioritic Sheep Dog)
Swimming
Great company
Fruit and veg
Spliff
Backgammon
Nap
Dog walk
Film
Swimming is the main one. Pool is great, but swimming in the sea under the hot sun adds a level of absolute perfection to my day.
Love swimming in the sea. The Thames estuary is perhaps not as pleasant as the sea off Sardinia but you can’t beat the feeling of freedom.
Hate swimming in salt water; feels always thick, greasy and sticky. Love a loch, a llyn or a lake mind, for all the freedom you describe. I’m not a great swimmer but I know my limits.
*Insert Going Through the Motions joke here.*
Things my day is not quite right without:
listening to some music
reading – fiction only
one decent cup of coffee – either from our own machine or a decent coffee shop
catching up on the Afterword – no, honestly
Some sort of walk with our dog/s (currently two guide dog puppies)
cooking our evening meal with a G&T
Get up after Mrs T goes to work
Solo breakfast and coffee with some crap on YouTube
Guitar practice with end of coffee
Potter about and tidy up
Do a bit of admin. Knowing it’s done is good karma
4 mile walk
Dinner with beloved wife, booze free during the week
Watch a bit of crap
Write diary
Bed before 11 and read for half an hour
This is very sage advice. As someone who’s suffered with chronic depression – at times crippling – for decades, noticing the small good things can make the difference between a day of melancholy self pity and feeling when you get into bed at night, well, that wasn’t such a bad one.
dog. He’s old now but transmits/receives unconditional love
‘er indoors. She’s also old now but as above
Trees. Especially the old ones
Some time looking at or just thinking a bit about art – now I don’t work in the art biz any more I feel much more connected with art I choose to look at or just be in the presence of. Now I don’t have to write about contemporary art, I wallow in the things I like regardless of whether it’s interrogating a liminal space wryly questioning issues of gendered experience or whatever.
Music. As I get older music seems to assume deeper and richer presence in my life. I need to be in the right mood to receive, but when it all connects, hoo boy.
Writing. I am useless if I don’t write at least something by the end of the day and fall into despair.
“Making sport” as the Germans say. Pull some weights, you feel so good after.
certain family members
old pals sending an unexpected message or calling
ice cream at the nearby gelato place on a summer night, sitting with my taciturn German neighbour under the trees, slurping dark chocolate sorbet.
I’m a man of simple tastes.
Music
A decent film
Reading
Cup of espresso (or two)
A glass of white wine
Gardening
Peace and quiet
A good night’s sleep
Gardening is an excellent shout. I leave the back garden to ms moles but an hour down the allotment doing a bit of weeding, bit of watering, bit of strimming does wonders for the sense of peace at the end of the day.
I’m tempted to say eight little whiskies, but…
Getting up with the birds – not that I have any choice.
First coffee of the day.
Avocado on toast with my home-made chilli relish.
Wordle, Scrabble etc.
Catching up with far-flung friends on Facebook etc.
30 minutes on the exercise bike listening to the audiobook of Dance to the Music of Time.
Sitting in the sun on the deck reading an improving work of literature.
Cooking dinner for me and the mem.
Not what you’d call an active life, but it works for me. Non-stop music is a given, of course, as is playing music 2/3 times a week and playing backgammon once a week.
Backgammon is emerging as the hidden passion of the Afterword.
And understandably so. It’s a great game. Sort of like chess, but for morons. Chez moi we play a best-of-three after lunch every day. Infuriatingly, my evil adversary has an unnatural ability for rolling doubles. I hate it when the dice gods force me to leave one of my men exposed and vulnerable, giving me no choice in the matter at all, knowing my satanic opponent will no doubt roll a double and take me and block the space so I can’t get back on the board. It happens so often I’ve even learnt the names of the double throws, which are as follows:
Double 1: Snake Eyes (knew that already)
Double 2: Ballerina (geddit?)
Double 3: Brooklyn (or Brooklyn Forest)
Double 4: Square Pair
Double 5: Puppy Paws
Double 6: Midnight
I’ve noticed backgammon crop up in a couple of films I’ve watched fairly recently. One of Woody Allen’s – Alice maybe – and one of Guy Ritchie’s – can’t remember which. There’s a famous photo among Floyd fans of Waters and Gilmour playing it back when they were still buddies.
This is the set I use:
If you play against the computer (I play against humans too) you’ll have noticed that it doesn’t give a monkey’s about leaving pieces vulnerable, and it’ll hit you every chance it gets. Sometimes that pays off, sometimes it doesn’t…
(I was white.)
Mrs Wells and I are fairly evenly matched. Each might have a run of success but it eventually runs out. We don’t do doubling , she doesn’t want to for no apparent reason, so it is a simple best of 5 or 7 which is about 3 vinlys. She has hectic days so it is a good way of just getting her to stop and decompress.
Mrs Wells might share my reasoning with regard to doubling. It seems to require some understanding of what it actually is and how it works. Who can be bothered to investigate all that? Not me.
Always fancied backgammon but never really got round to it . Any recommendations re an Idiot’s Guide?
Yes. Write “idiot’s guide to backgammon” in a search engine.
Damn, no idea why I didn’t think of that. Did I tell you that after four minutes on Google I’m now a Seventh Grade High Master of Backgammon and almost every play I double up?
A cup of tea
A mug of black coffee
A shower
Nice, appropriate clothes. Linen is doing a lot of heavy lifting today.
An audiobook
Cooking a decent meal
Driving my new MX5 RF in should red with the Bose up loud
Wordle, Spelling Bee and Connection on the NYT app
A cup of tea followed by a mug of black coffee is well weird!
There is normally a gap of about an hour. And they are both taken in a small mug (not quite sure why I said cup of tea other than convention). Coffee is two double espressos topped up with off boil water from the kettle. With sugar.
Mug size is important – especially for the coffee. Too big and it’s thin, too small and it doesn’t last long enough. I use a 300ml Zero Japan mug. They are perfect things and it adds to my satisfaction just using this mug.
https://zerojapan.eu/products/zero-japan-mug-steel-grey?variant=49198983545171
I bet you use the same Wordle starter every day ..
Every now and then I use TEARS. It gives me a frisson of new excitement countered by the obvious melancholy. But most of the time I use STARE.
I’ve started using PLANE from time to time. Sometimes it brings results, sometimes it doesn’t. Just like any other word.
Ah, you see it DOES matter what starter you use. Using a “safe” starter does not mean you will score well every day and, as Leedsboy knows only too well, you may even get the odd failure. But statistically a safe starter in the long run will always produce better results than, for instance, some fool selecting the first 5 letter word spoken by Radio4 that morning.
And by the way, no criticism intended – each to his own, it’s only a game etc etc
It also helps to have a good working and logical brain – sadly lacking in my case
I used to use TEARS, until one day the answer was TEARY and the crushing disappointment when the last letter was revealed acted as aversion therapy.
CRANE
XYLEM
PENIS
Helps me get through the day …
FUNEX?
I agree mugs are important @leedsboy . We have the usual random collection of slogan and souvenir mugs, but about 5 years ago I started replacing them as they got too knackered with these:
https://www.iittala.com/en-gb/tableware/drinkware/mugs-and-cups/teema-mug-03l-vintage-blue-1061235
They come in endless different colours and though I only buy them when onsale they are exactly the right size for me, again the 300ml. Other household members would like the 400ml but they are wrong.
These are ridiculously expensive (lifes little luxuries) but like the teema exactly the right size to go under the espresso machine. And we’ve been to the Arabia factory in Helsinki.
https://www.moominarabia.com/en-gb/collections/mugs
I love The Moomins. My childhood read.
Same here! I have a Moomin mug.
You could get that fixed with a few quid and a willing plastic surgeon.
Arf!
A mug’s game!
I have tea at home then coffee when I get to the office a few minutes later (I have a very short commute)
The first coffee of the day.
A shit. (Aww, c’mon, tel the truth, of course it does!)
Not going to work.
Checking out any of the new music accumulated since and over the day before. (Rarely a day goes by without, at least, a press release/EPK for a new single, often more) Sometimes too much.
Sitting in my cave. OK it often coincides with other music listening activities, but I find the location lifts my spirits.
A walk with the dog/trip to supermarket to forage tea.
First beer of the day, even if it also the last.
Going to bed. I love going to bed.
Alas daily defecatory delights are denied, I’m sluggish in that department and average one every three days. It has always been so.
I was once told that it can range from 3 a day to once every 3 days for healthy adults. I dream of the former …
This, in our house, is referred to as one’s poo clock.
At least one per day usually within an hour of waking up. Sometimes two with the second one being around 6pm.
Anything different can be unsettling.
I have my first one at around half six. Unfortunately I don’t wake up till seven.
The old ones are the best etc
Fresh orange juice in the morning.
A weekday morning routine, with the knowledge that if I want to have a “take it easy” day then I can.
Toast. ( Not necessarily with breakfast.)
Finding a good outfit combo…has to be comfortable and practical though.
Some time scrolling the nicer bits of the internet (here obvs, a podcast or two, music and football stuff, the Guardian online)
Small, non time consuming, achievable DIY tasks that Mrs L thinks might be tricky and make me look much more practical than I actually am.
Saying hi to the kids on WhatsApp, just asking about their day.
Reading.
An hour of decent TV before bed.
Simple pleasures innit.
A good night’s sleep (not guaranteed as I’ve had insomnia since last Autumn)
My kids especially when they are making me laugh or impressing me with their intelligence.
Playing a bit of guitar and simply gazing at my growing collection of guitars.
A good cup of tea especially with a Kit Kat after dinner.
Two hours of radio or music when the rest of the family have gone asleep (Tom Dunne Show on Newstalk usually).
Seeing a kestrel lifts my spirits like nothing else, but birds in general.
Lunchtime at work – a real break where there’s always craic to be had with my colleagues.
A good laugh, whether it’s a joke, something from Viz, a good comedy show or a happy memory.
Family life, generally. There’s always something happening and it’s usually quite loud.
The blissful period of time immediately before total surrender to sleep.
The utter, utter joy from the dog when we go for a walk on the beach.
A walk on the beach.
Tea.
Having a conversation that turns into laughter.
Online stuff – The Afterword, Scrabble….
Weekly pub quiz night – I’m glad we catch up with the friends we do it with on a weekly basis now.
A shower. We’ve lived in our house almost 25 years and for the first 19 years it didn’t have a shower in it. I ran a bath for myself every morning. A new bathroom 6 years ago meant our very own shower. I have showered before that, I hasten to add, but having my own now is blissful. Love a shower.
Coffee. Normally from the much maligned pod machine. I find the black coffees it produces perfectly lovely. Pods are recycled.
My guitar. I can usually find an hour before or after work to plug in to my headphone amp and jam along to something. I reached a plateau of ability very early on, call it just below intermediate shite, and stayed they for I shall have to say decades. For whatever reason over the past 5 years or so that’s shot up. Intermediate, I suppose, but much more confident and able. Have stunned Mrs B by playing recognisable songs from end to end and in time.
Mrs B. But don’t tell her
My daughter. See above.
Our bed. It’s where we love to be most of the time.
The Internet. An entertainer. An echo chamber. A source of terrifying misinformation. A solace. An educator. It should come with a pinch of salt.
My watch. My brother gave me all of his some while ago shortly after he was diagnosed with dementia. He knew I was a bit of a watch and horology geek and wanted me to have his before his mind slipped away completely. He died last month. His dementia worsened terribly since the new year and he collapsed from a stroke in April. It hollowed him out and he was put into care, but his body said no. His kidneys failed eventually and he passed in May. I wear one of those he gave me.
Oh man. Sorry to hear that Beezer.
Thanks Twang
Adding my condolences Beezer.
Thank you, DaveBP
Condolences to you, Beezer, but be careful where you place wife and daughter next time. 😉
Appreciated, Tigger.
Wherever I put them on a physical list they’re always at the top in my heart
(Nauseating but I think I got away with it)
Sorry for your loss mate.
Thank you, MC
Blimey @beezer
That’s hard. Hope you’re coping well.
My sister died on Christmas Eve of pancreatic cancer. I’m still not convinced she’s actually gone.
Oh mate, I’m so sorry to hear that. I do know what you mean.
Thank you for the very kind words. It wasn’t too much of a surprise after the stroke emptied him out completely. What had been hardest for him and for us was his rapid decline into confusion since late last year.
His funeral service was packed. He was a popular, kind and daft soul and much beloved. We’ll never forget that. He was shown some true honour on the day which has helped a lot.
I hope you’re coping too, my friend.
And the same condolences to you, buddy.
Two cups of tea before getting out of bed.
Porridge with raspberries and honey and more tea
Wordle/connections/spellbee
Monday/wednesday am Nordic pole walk
Wednesday lunch pickleball
Tuesday am Creative writing class
Play cds/vinyl
Read my latest book and/or Mojo/Uncut
Surf the net for music purchases
Look at Facebook nonsense
I remember the days when my mother brought a cup of tea to my bedroom in the morning (sighs), she also would leave me a mug with a teabag in it next to the kettle for when I would got home from the pub (sighs again)
Yeah my dad brought me a cup of tea in the morning every day before he left for work (same too for my mum and my brother). Sadly missed when I left home.
Getting up early on a sunny day (added benefit of some ‘me’ time)
Brief exercise / stretching routine to try and get stiff and aching body into action
Walk dogs listening to podcast or music – being outside for at least an hour a day is essential for my well being
As a recently diagnosed pre diabetic I’m getting some self affirmation by desisting sugary treats (which I love)
Finding time to read more and less of what I’m doing right now!
Swimming or gym session at our new posh health club – a present to ourselves after downsizing earlier this year. It’s wonderful – I could happily live there.
A pre dinner drink on ‘alcohol allowed’ days (often those are ones that end in a ‘y’)
Germany and Netherlands out. Some astounding penalty shootouts going on here. Has there ever been a time when so many world-class players have missed so many penalties?
Possibly the Wrong thread?
Well, the Germany result certainly helped get me through the day…