Idly browsing YouTube clips when playing “Don’t mess with my Toot Toot …”, I came across this gem, which I thought I would share. There were others of a similar calibre – jaw-droppingly obvious paeans to adolescent humour:
Barbara Carr – Bone Me Like You Own Me;
Theodis Ealey – Let Me Put The Head In;
Denise Lasalle – Lick It Before You Stick It;
Millie Jackson – Slow Tongue;
Ms. Jody – Your Dog’s About To Kill My Cat.
After a day like today, I though the Afterword might like something to smile at. Any other overripe music out there?
I bloody love this.
He storms my trench and he’s not afraid
His bayonet made me cry for aid
Oh how he handles his hand grenade… etc
What was it the philosopher once said? “A man who asks this question is a man that doesn’t own a copy of Back in Black”? Something like that.
‘Pete don’t care whose meat he chops…’
Make way for Bull Moose Jackson and his Big 10 Inch:
And wise words on Smut from Professor Lehrer:
I’ll add Touch me Tomato and Big Bamboo by the Jolly Boys.
Oh and a one eyed cat peeping in a seafood store from Shake, Rattle and Roll.
In trad. arr. English folk there is the pursuit of The Bonny Black Hare, which is barely-disguised filth of the very finest calibre.
“I laid this girl down with her face to the skies
I took out me ramrod and me bullets likewise
I said lock your legs round me and dig in with your heels
For the closer we get love, the better it feels.”
Poetry in motion, as it were.
That Trad Arr was a dirty brute.
Pirate, you see…
(sorry)
Wow! They don’t come much better than that (as it were). And there was me thinking ‘ver Span’ were all twee folky melodies – All Around Me ‘At, stylee. I love that pounding, bass-driving, rawk. Plus the song is a winner, especially with their deadpan expressions.
Do they do much more like that?
You and me baby, we’re nothing but mammals
So let’s do it like they do it on the Discovery Channel
IIRC the host album was called “Hooray for Boobies”
Bone me like you own me?
Fantastic.
Hawkfall has indeed got that quote spot on.
This, possibly?
I’ve heard it said that The Lemon Song isn’t actually about a lemon
Well, it’s bad advice at the very least – lemon juice does your gout no good at all.
One of the great lewd lines in pop came from an unexpected source: the Pointer Sisters. I refer to the song, ‘Slow Hand’, in which they express their preference for ‘a lover who will take his time, not come and go in a heated rush’….
Alison “Alf!” Moyet’s Love Resurrection is wall-to-wall smut. Well…the line “I want you to grow in my hand” is a bit rude anyway.
The whole thing is filth! I remember reading the lyrics in Smash Hits and my eyebrows firing vertically off my head.
I only noticed it this year when it came on the radio. My grandparents had the LP with that on!
It came on the radio… damn straight it did, lady!
Did it give you a warm injection?
It’s that old devil rubber glove again
Funnily enough I was in the tub at the time…
What a coincidence! So was I!
A simple song about a bloke who organises dance events
when tribute bands follow this with ROCKER, i air guitar my beer over myself.
best…..ac/dc album……ever.
I’m just glad that Rigid didn’t post “Squealer”. We could have ended up on the front page of The Guardian.
Possibly the rudest song played (innocently) on Radio 1 and Top Of The Pops
(they must’ve known – don they not listen to the lyrics?)
Beautiful South – Perfect 10
Semisonic – Chemistry
“And we found out that the two things we put together, had a bad tendency to explode”
Rude is easy: “There’s no-one quite like f**king Grandma” – see!
When Grace Jones sings Pull Up To The Bumper it ain’t just rude, it’s sexxxxxxxy!!!!
“I love the way the line runs up tha’ back of the stocking”
“I always loved those kinda high heals too”
“no no no, don’t take em off…leave em on”
“yeah that’s it….a little more to the right”.
david lee roth, van halen…everybody wants some.
probably many years ago.
Enough to make you swear off dairy…
Bull Moose Jackson again, this time in search of a bowlegged woman:
Jesse Powell Orchestra & Fluffy Hunter – The Walkin’ Blues. A fine example of the misdirected rhyme.
Kate Bush- “And his spark took life in my hands”
Can’t post from YouTube so here’s the revised lyrics.
Hokey Pokey (revised version 2004)
Written by Richard Thompson
Appears on The Chrono Show (2004)
Hokey Pokey revised version 2004
Little boy running and the little girl too
Got the money tucked up in their hands
Over the wall and down into the street
Give your money to the hollering man
Everybody runs for Hokey Pokey
Hear the ringing on the ice cream bell
He’s got the stuff that’ll cool you right down
It’s the best that they ever did sell
Maestro he says to Sweet Little Angel
Don’t you sing to the boys in blue
Or you won’t need no more Hokey Pokey
By the time we’re through with you
Down in the prison number 999
Wishing he was home on the range
He’s still fretting for what he’s not getting
And love behind bars is strange
Fellas in the alley all walk that walk
It’s a style that really pays
Cos’ there’s some poor Joe out there doesn’t know
The door can swing both ways
Dead to the world? Says Frankie to Annie
Girl you haven’t moved an inch all night
But she wriggled her hips when he kissed her on the lips
Hokey Pokey made her feell all right
Lick it on the bottom, lick it on the top
Suck it just hard enough
Open up wide when it drips down the side
You want to catch all that good stuff
Words and music by Richard Thompson, Beeswing/Bug Music
Smut I tell you.