The most common topic for a pop song is love. More specifically, the singer describes in the first person the feeling of being in love or the effect the object of their desire has upon them. For example, “Girl, I’m just a jeepster for your love”*is a perfect expression of the exuberant joy being in love can evoke.
Pop music has been around for fifty years. One would have thought that all of that outpouring of raw feeling could be turned to some use. How about asking Dr. Popstar their advice on relationships? Of course, Dr. Popstar is usually too wrapped up in themselves to lift their eyes from their personal beloved and ponder other people’s issues, but it does happen.
As usual, The Beatles were probably at the root of it. She Loves You is unselfishly third person, lending an observational eye on another’s relationship. In a song famously monosyllabic, the single most important word is ‘apologise’. It is carefully enunciated in the third and final verse. ‘Apologise to her’ is the best piece of advice Dr. Popstar has ever given me. I took it to heart 52 years ago and have deployed it often. It has helped me out of many a pickle and I’m very grateful for it.
Can the Afterword think of any other examples of good Popstar relationship advice? After all, we all need help sometimes.
*The romance is somewhat sullied by the lustful “And I’m gonna suck ya!” that follows it.
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts
But you’ve got to walk away now
It’s over.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHOf3s70w-c
Dr Buckles gives better advice
Excellent! It’s the mundane things that kill a relationship in the end. ‘Lift the toilet seat before you pee’ should be tattooed somewhere noticeable on every male.
*Pedant Alert*
“And I’m gonna suck ya” follows the line “girl I’m just a vampire for your love”.
It would be kind of ace if it was after one of the Jeepster lines though. Deprived of the proper context it would sound absolutely filthy.
I should have said, ‘later on’ rather than ‘follows’. It still sounds filthy, though.
A playa like me needs no advice homie…
Ah yes. A very pragmatic approach to love. The grass isn’t greener, you know.
Perhaps we should start by talking about your previous relationships?
http://youtu.be/oo__EIXzAco
“Tell your friend that’s with you he’ll have to go”
I’m no expert, but I’d say this is a pretty basic requirement for a happy relationship. If she’s getting a locum in every time you pop to the shops it’s a fairly clear indicator of marital friction.
I’d be more:
“Hey shut up chick, that’s a friend of mine,
Just watch your mouth babe, you’re out of line”
2 words: Gary Puckett.
Daily basis, darlings.
Wise words. Wise words indeed.
I keep my girls in rotation,
Door rotating.
You looking for a good time,
I’m always on vacation.
You could stop by baby,
If you want to try your luck.
But don’t waste my time,
Unless you’re down to f….lippin’ eck is that the time?
Paddy McAloon always gave me the best advice. He wrote Goodbye Lucille #1 just for me don’t you know?
Life’s not complete till your heart’s missed a beat
And you’ll never make it up or turn back the clock
No you won’t, no you won’t
…but if I remember correctly, in the same song he also advises you to ‘Forget her’, ‘Give it a rest’ and ‘Join the Foreign Legion’. Did you do any of those?
In my own way, yes
Ahem. I think we need more detail here, Ahh.
“If you’ve heard all they got to say, you looked but turned away
Just walkaway, walkaway if you’ve said all you got to say
Now the words just slip away, just walkaway, walkaway, walkaway”
Cast – Walk Away
(have Cast ever been mentioned in AW-World before? Debut album ‘All Change’ is a fine piece of Pre-Britpop-Pop-Rock-nearly-landfillindie. Second album is OK. Can’t comment further because I’ve never knowingly heard anything after that)
I’ve searched the site. Nothing. However, I’m pretty sure they were mentioned on previous iterations of the Afterword.
As for the advice. What are they on about?
Advice I (sort of) heeded at the time of my divorce (very messy and emotive).
The shouting, arguing, to-ing and fro-ing through solicitors, got too much for me and I chucked it in the air and just walked away.
(Then me being me, walked right back into it a week later).
John Power and Robbie Williams – the soundtrack to my divorce
That sounds awful. If Robbie Williams was my soundtrack, I’d be suicidal.
Yup, that’s how bad it got.
Moved back into my parents with 4 CDs (Cast, Robbie Williams, Toploader and David Gray) – that really was a low point.
It was to be another 3 months before I retrieved the Vinyl and CD collection.
Petula’s advice to her beau.
Goodbye means nothing when it’s all for show
So why pretend you’ve somewhere else to go
Don’t sleep in the subway, darlin’, don’t stand in the pouring rain
Don’t sleep in the subway, darlin’, the night is long
Forget your foolish pride, nothing’s wrong
Now you’re beside me again
“Baby’s on fire?
Better throw her in the water.”
or
“Girl you got to put him out.
Change them locks and all that.
Girl you got to put him out.
And this time don’t take him back.”
Look at her laughing
Like a heifer to the slaughter
Probably, my favourite Eno track. But, relationship advice? You decide…
Relationship advice was the basis of a fair number of Joe Tex’ songs. Feminist ideas were not a big influence on him as a lyricist and they were occasionally unintentionally hilarious , but he made some great country soul records none the less. There are loads to choose from. These two are from his Love You Save LP.
The Love You Save (may be your own)
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=joe+tex+the+love+you+save+may+be+your+own
Buld Your Love (On A Solid Foundaton)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZACt2W7ZxM
obvious, but …
Joe Tex “Ain’t Gonna Bump No More With No Big Fat Woman” works for me
Some advice from Kid Creole
Kid Creole is very good on advice. Here, he warns Gina about the perils of a holiday romance.
Gina, Gina
Probably not very PC to say so, but inter-galactic romance will end in tears.
Just ask JCC
When that hurt in your heart is gone
Just say my name
John Martyn from the wonderful, yet horrendously painful, Grace and Danger.
DuCool introduced me to it and, along with a large amount of whisky, it got me through some painful bust ups back in the day.
This thread is exposing more raw nerve endings than I anticipated. I suspect Mr Martyn would have approved of the whisky, KFD.
Indeed he would. But I doubt that I’d have ever dared to take a wee dram with him. Things would soon have got seriously out of hand. Something of a wild man when it came to the single malt and the ladies I hear.
If you were drinking with John Martyn a wee dram is all you would have got…
Which made me think of Rod’s Jerry Lee Lewis cover.
Love and happiness can’t live behind those swinging doors!
Peak Rod, I tell you. Peak Rod!
I was thinking about thrice-married Billy Joel’s Tell Her About It – “this is good information from a man who’s made mistakes”. Note the arrogant use of past tense. He’s a man who IS MAKING mistakes in real time.
Let’s see what he’s got to say to the hapless boy he’s addressing. “Give her some attention – give her something to believe” – also “Give her every reason to accept that you’re for real.”
Both of these nuggets tell us that Billy is a…is a…well…a cad. No! I’m not going to take it back.
Remember, he has form. In his misogynists’ anthem “The Way You Are”. He doesn’t want clever conversation – she shouldn’t have ambitions, don’t change, – after all, those dishes won’t wash themselves. Hence the original demo of the song was actually called:
The Way You Are (those dishes won’t wash themselves)
That second line there is very weasely – “give her every reason to accept that you’re for real” (???) In other words, she can’t get you on a technicality because you’ve followed the rules and done all the things you should do. She can’t say you don’t love her. So she can’t leave you. She can’t.
In short, I think Billy is the last person for advice.
Brilliant analysis, Black. That’s the kind of quality post this thread has been sadly lacking.
Anyone with any more?