As we hurtle speedily towards our death, it is common to list locations to visit before the final bucket is kicked by the croaking Grim Reaper while you shuffle off to the Notting Hill Record and Tape Exchange to offload your This Mortal Coil records.
And so a “bucket list” can be made and ticked off as and when you stand atop Sugar Loaf Mountain with a carrot up your bum, swim with the buffalo, make love at the Dolphins or goad the tiny, incontinent Penguins of Rapa Nui. But I’m not interested in that kind of thing.
My bucket list is a little more prosaic. I’ve never been to Manchester or Hull. I’m 50 and the opportunity to go has not yet presented itself. I want to walk by the canal tork loyk Jeyums Nusbitt, or visit the Salford Lads Club and pose for a photo with cut outs of Rourke, Marr and Joyce. In Hull I want to make a call from a cream coloured telephone box and gaze in awestruck wonder at the Humber Bridge, while pretending to be Paul Heaton.
So, to me, these places seem exotic and flecked in tingling, exquisite mystery.
Are there places you have somehow avoided but would dearly like to experience?
Your phone box fantasy (hurr) is not possible. There are none of them within sight of the Humber Bridge. The Bridge, however, is a phenomenally wonderful thing. Like a woman, it’s best seen from underneath.
If you want to pretend to be Paul Heaton, get on the Rotterdam ferry at Hull and write songs about alcohol-fuelled marital breakdown while eating crisps. You can see the Bridge from that and all.
That sounds like a great trip!
It is! Especially the crisps.
I’m channeling prawn cocktail flavour, that mix of exotic hope and plangent disappointment.
If you want to come to Hull, this is definitely the year. This first week of City Of Culture has been fantastic, not only for the outstanding ‘Made In Hull’ launch events, but equally the passionate way in which they have been embraced by the people in their thousands. I’ve never seen or felt the city more alive and vibrant. Not suggesting every week is going to be like this, but it’s a, ahem, Hullova start.
Going to see MiH tomorrow night – the last. It takes something to get me out of the house of a weekend, but…
Tickets for the opening night of The Hypocrite at Hull Truck – check.
The Basil Kirchin events have to be the most AW-friendly thing to have been announced so far:
https://www.hull2017.co.uk/whatson/events/mind-on-the-run/
Also… a COUM retrospective! Run for the hills!
I think the biggest problem throughout the year will be getting hold of tickets for the high-profile events. I got them for the first Holy Holy show, just, but all the others I fancied in this phase went in the blink of an eye (or perhaps the tap of a screen…).
Nights out review:
It was boss.
You’re welcome!
Excellent. We were stationed on Humberside for a few years in the early 80s as a young-un and I have very fond memories of the place (as weird and windswept as it was) – wonderful video and I’m so pleased for Hull – it should make a real difference – I shall be visiting again this year.
As uncomfortable and unsettling as their work was – I love that COUM/Thobbing Gristle are recognised – rightly so.
Will there be any, um, pictures of Cosey and Genesis? They popped up a lot, excuse me, in London newsagents in the late 70s
Will be over for the Sea of Hull opening as I took part in it. Though there is no official date yet. Looked an interesting city.
Really pleased to see Hull on the up – the PR people have done a great job raising the profile of what is a fine city. I lived there for 12 years – worked for “teleferns” after a couple of miserable years as a hack on the delly mell’s freesheets. I particularly like the fact that stories I was covering many years ago – the transformation of the Edwin Davies building into an international heliport discotheque cruise terminal – are still no further forward, likewise the bombed out cinema on Bev Rerd still remains untouched 70 years on last time I looked. Have heard there’s a bit of grumbling from local artist types that they’ve been ignored by the culture folks “buying in” events but hope it’s a big success. Have to say that when I did my bit for cultural richness of the city – with my bijou book and record shop in Hepworth’s Arcade for a number of years in the 90s – there were few takers for old Penguin books and jazz-funk 12s. Some days I took not a penny with the boredom broken by occasional wild-eyed yoof coming in to threaten you. Happy days. Big question: is E&M Mart still there?
I’ve not yet been to Edinburgh or anywhere in Scotland apart from Glasgow. Not been to Norn Iron at all and only visited the Republic as a very small child and even then only to Dublin and it’s immediate area.
Not been to the Scilly Isles, IOM, Channel Islands, any of the Scottish islands, Anglesey or, surprisingly given that I’m nearly a Londoner, Canvey Island, Isle of Grain or Sheppey.
“Could have done better.” is etched upon my report card.
You’ve got to go to Embra. If only to pay @ianess a visit. And listen to the Automobile Noise.
IOM is another one. Probably go there when I go to Manchester.
A93 then A939 through the Cairngorms from Spittal of Glenshee to Grantown-on-Spey via Ballater and – Moosey – Cock Bridge. Get someone else to drive and look out of the window.
Mrs F was born up there and it’s a place I love. I can see it now if I close my eyes.
Get yersel’ a MacBraynes Island Rambler ticket. Hire a camper van, a small one. You won’t regret it.
https://www.calmac.co.uk/hopscotch
(Looks like they have jettisoned the anywhere and everywhere round ticket, but some of these are worth a look. Camper van ‘cos wild camping is not discouraged. I commend driving off road into the little stretches of old single track that still exist and cosying up in little dead ends. Or any deserted carpark at a loch side/waterfront that doesn’t say you can’t)
I have yet to set foot in Kettering, but I can dream.
I used to know a rather unhygenic father and son who were small-time dope dealers from Kettering.
Most-remembered quote:
“Kettering? Dry.” (try and imagine the accent).
The father was the most annoying person I have ever met in my life (so far). I used to sometimes disconcert another friend, who knew them both well and had been ripped-off for a sizeable sum of money by the son, by imitating his dad’s voice when I called him.
I wouldn’t bother going there if I were you.
Didn’t bed-sit confessional singer (and future murder advocate) Cat Stevens write a song about them?
They’ve been rolling all day, all day, all day
Kettering – Spent a fortnight there one weekend – coat, hat etc…
UK comic artist supreme Frank Bellamy was from Kettering, so it couldn’t be all bad
But Alan Moore is from Northampton, which is as big a dump as I have ever seen in Britain (and I spent my teens in Wrexham and have been to Portsmouth, so that’s really saying something).
Northampton hasn’t been the same since they demolished the breathtakingly ugly bus station. Mind you the sheer horror did inspire Bauhaus for which I’ll always be grapefruit.
Blimey, you’re right. Here I am knocking on 67 and I really, really must visit Liverpool and do the Beatle sites. This year, this year!
We went to the Thumbs and O’Boogie houses last summer… well worth it. If you’re English it will be nostalgic whether you like the Fabs or not – perfectly preserved 1950s suburban homes. And the guides are toppermost of the poppermost.
And have a Wet Nelly at Speke Hall before you get on the bus. A quick, cheap pleasure that benefits the National Trust. Snot to like?
We should do an Afterword day out. Liverpool is an excellent city for an evening out too.
I visited Liverpool often in my teens, but although Probe Records was always on the itinerary I never bothered going around the corner to Matthew Street until a visit last year. The Beatles just didn’t seem that big a deal in the early 80s, but the city has made up for it now with statues, plaques and tour busses with ‘Magical Mystery Tour’ painted on the side (I’m going to stick my neck out and guess … Liverpool?’
I have a sort of football bucket list, which is an adapted version of the 92 club, in that I am counting the teams, rather than the grounds. Reason being, 10 of the clubs I have visited have since got new grounds and as three of them are Stoke City, Cardiff City and West Ham United, three clubs I am in no hurry to ever visit again no matter where they play, I’ll settle for having seen games at the 92 clubs.
As my team, Barnsley, are away at Blackpool in the FA Cup tomorrow and we’ve been there loads, me and my mates, who are also trying to finish the 92, are off to Mansfield Town to cross that one off the list. I have Barnsley’s trip to Villa on Valentine’s Day (yes, that went down well with Mrs Wad) coming up to strike Villa off, whilst we’re going to get up to Hartlepool and Morecambe at some point too. Will take the family to Morecambe for the weekend to make up for Valentine’s Day.
We’re then going to try to get down to South Wales one weekend when Newport are at home on the Saturday and Swansea at home on the Sunday, although Newport could well drop out of the league and Swansea could come down, so I could go there with Barnsley next season.
That’ll just leave Cambridge, Stevenage, AFC Wimbledon, Cheltenham (who could also drop out of the league, hopefully replaced by a team that I have visited!), Sunderland (who could come down to play Barnsley) and Exeter City, who we have decided to make our final one, as we have a mate who supports them and it’s a nice place to finish at.
So a dozen clubs to go and then I’ll think of something else. I’m definitely not going back to West Ham though. Horrible!
I can recommend the Abbey – particularly a night match – superbly atmospheric and looking forward to the Us vs Leeds on Monday night. Likewise, AFC Wimbledon – Kingstonian’s ground? – always full and another decent atmosphere. By contrast, Stevenage’s ground is a real hole with minimal upgrades since their non-league days. Was there on Boxing Day – to see a rare Cambridge win – but like the town itself, completely devoid of charm.
That’s interesting @Paul Wad Am not surprised you left Villa Park until near the end, you may need to be innoculated.
I also had an aim of visiting all football league clubs but am currently about halfway there and like you thought of counting clubs as opposed to grounds since so many of visited are in different grounds now i.e.. have seen Arsenal at Highbury but not at the Emirates. My trip to your Oakwell ground was the second leg of the playoffs when you have beaten us 4-0 at St.Andrews. Memorable for a variety of reasons namely approaching the ground a contingent of Blues fans with gallows humour were singing ‘we’re gonna win 5-0’. Secondly an over excited Barnsley fan in the second half decided to streak naked across the pitch to the Birmingham fans. It was a cold night – his manhood had gone into hiding. The Birmingham fans started chanting ‘What the fucking hell is that?’ at the site of his shrunken member. Finally a lady in the Birmingham end was dressed up in a Red Devil leotard and responded to chants of ‘get your tits out for the lads’ by promptly unzipping the leotard and displaying a fine pair of bazonkers. It was a fine night out despite being denied a trip to Wembley.
Newport’s match is likely to be cancelled. Doesn’t matter when you’re going. They have postponement after postponement, probably because they have the worst pitch I’ve ever seen. Curious (and proud) that you’ve avoided St James’ Park (not that one), but have presumably made it further down to Home Park? Is it just because Argyle are obviously an infinitely better bet than the dirty northerners of Exeter?
As Hull have/has been mentioned. There was an old boy came to watch Hull at Twerton when we (Bristol Rovers) played there. It was his 92nd ground watching Hull play… and Dave Beasant (possibly with Newcastle) made it his 92nd ground as a player.
I’ve been to paradise, but I’ve never been to me.
I’ve been to Tannadice but I’ve never been to Cheam.
I’ve never been louche in Ashby-de-la-Zouch.
Not missed much, as a man who has.
I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to Leeds. That’s the version we sing in our car…
Ashby de la Zouch is a great name giving rise to expectations that will not be met should you ever go there. Also Piddle in the hole fails to live up to its name.
Ashby is visited each March by the masses to run the Ashby 20 a double lap 20 mile run around the town. It’s usually completed in foul weather (snowed on 3 occasions I did it) and is seen as training run for idiots who have entered the London Marathon.
Finishers receive a hoodie, a cheese roll the size of a tea tray and a carton of um bongo
After its numerous mentions on 5 Live’s traffic reports I intend to visit Sinister Island. I imagine it somewhat like Jurassic Park….
Take four AW friends with you and it could be “Five Go To Sinister Island”.
Bad-hat is heard to mutter “If it wasn’t for those pesky AW-ers..”
“more sinister even than that…”
Is it KP crisps that were/are in Ashby?
We purposefully visit unexpected and mundane towns and cities for long weekends.
The agenda is much the same – local museum, wander around town for a bit, find a pub (usually Wetherspoons – they are so rare), find a restaurant, return to hotel, leave Mrs D there and go back out to find record shops.
Coventry, Birmingham, Sheffield, Leicester, Lincoln, Chesterfield, Shrewsbury – all more enjoyable than their reputation, or perception, may suggest.
(same can’t be said for Bracknell or High Wycombe – and Swindon just smelt funny)
2017 Intentions – Manchester, Margate, Chester, Cambridge, Ipswich and Cantebury
I think each place had its own feel, so I think you’re weekends away are a terrific thing. I hope there aren’t any Swindonians(?) here, but I also had a less-than-ideal time when I visited the place. I was among a few hundred people following non-league Woking, several rungs below STFC. The Police and the stewards at the County Ground couldn’t have been less welcoming (as if we were a notorious hooligan ‘firm’). Having been at Everton, WBA and Brighton, where everyone was lovely to us – this was a shock.
I recall a wonderful evening in Swindon in c.1975 watching Mike Heron’s Reputation, supported by Moon, featuring Noel McCalla. Then we slept in an orchard.
Isn’t Jeyums Nusbitt from Norn Iron?
Aye…bot hyse un Cold Feet
Nut noy. Uts funushed.
As I am losing interest in for ball other than my own team I have thought of other novel pursuits. One that piqued my interest is to visit ghost railway stations around the country. There are quite a few of them and it sounds quirky enough to develop an interest in.
I saw a TV show where the presenter (Paul Merton?) went to the request stop stations. I didn’t even know they existed.
Apart from a wet week on Seil Island (which barely qualifies as an island, connected as it is to the mainland by a small bridge) I’ve never been to any of the islands, Shetlands, Orkneys etc., or anywhere north of Aberdeen on the east coast or Oban on the west. Quite a long bucket list there.
I’ve been pretty much everywhere of any significance in the UK at least once except Lincoln – or anywhere else in Lincs except Scunthorpe, for some reason I can no longer remember. It’s been on my radar ever since I read The Dam Busters – they were always jumping in the jalopy and beetling into Lincoln to meet a popsie. I had no idea it had rather a fine cathedral – it was just somewhere handy for a lot of bomber stations.
Of course I have a pretty long bucket list for Oz before i can even begin to start ticking off the UK one.
Mikethep’s Australia bucket list
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvBpLbNik_U
That’s an Aussie song, written in 1959 and first recorded (by Lucky Starr) in 1962. It went on to become a huge American hit (with the place names changed) for Hank Snow.
And covered for his lucrative german market, by the late AW poster-boy, Jackie Leven. A better idea than a reality, I dare say based around the Baden-Baden verse.
I found myself in Leamington Spa a few years ago, and so made a short pilgrimage to 3 Alveston Place, which for years was where the FreePost inserts inside CD singles were addressed if you wanted to join a band’s mailing list in the pre-Internet days. Was very disappointed to find that it was a nondescript brick building with no distinguishing features – hardly what my teenage self had imagined.
It’s a long story but I’m going to Swansea with the wife for a weekend next month. Any hidden gems we should check out while we’re there?
February might not be the time, but few people seem to realise that Swansea has an absolutely gorgeous beach right on the edge of the city centre.
At a warmer time of year I’d recommend a jaunt out to Mumbles, but it’ll almost certainly be bloody freezing there in February.