Exciting Depeche Mode news just in. They are in the studio, working on new material!
There are now two surviving original members. Dave, the skinny singer with a penchant for waistcoats and his old friend Martin, a tanned and thirsty musician with distinctive blonde hair. They have known each other pretty much from school days in the grey commuter-belt town where they grew up.
I know, I know. This sounds a lot like Status Quo – and this has got me worrying.
You see, when Quo’s personnel were in place (i.e. not dead yet) you got the feeling that there was a certain amount of quo-lity control. By the time it was just the two of them, decades of success meant that they had a ferociously loyal fanbase and a substantial good will. As they felt cheated by the record industry, they set about monetising their legacy in any way they could.
This video shows them in this later period, singing “Fun Fun Fun” in a shopping mall food court, with some of the Beach “Boys”. And there’s Cilla Black pretending to enjoy it for 10 seconds so she could get her appearance fee. Fine, I guess – but would they have done that in 1976…? Really?
Now that DM’s own quality control lynchpin Andy “Fletch!” Fletcher has gone, we may see their artistic integrity start to disappear too. If you’re interested in what may happen next (and I appreciate that’s a big “if”), read on in the comments…
As we fans know, it was Fletch who had the foresight to bring in Anton Corbijn and D A Pennebaker to make them look a lot less rubbish and embarrassing (or “English”).
And it worked!
Fletch also instructed the label to get Dave Bascombe in for their next album, based on the success of Tears for Fears. That also worked!
His steady hand on the tiller meant that Depeche Mode filled stadiums well into the 21st century and aren’t on the 80s nostalgia circuit with David Van Day’s Bucks Fizz and Bobby Davro’s Liquid Gold. So God bless Fletch!
If Depeche Mode follow the same (if you will) quo-jectory as, er, Status Quo – this is what I think will go down.
It’s late Autumn 2022. It hasn’t escaped Dave and Martin’s attention that celebrating football teams and crowds have recently been singing their 1981 hit Just Can’t Get Enough – while boisterously bouncing along to the repeated “Doo doo doo de doo doo doo” riff.
Baddiel and Skinner announce that the recent success of the Lionesses means that they can retire their “It’s Coming Home!” song for good. So – Dave and Martin surprise everyone and agree to record a new version of Just Can’t Get Enough for the World Cup!
It’s called “Just Can’t Get Enough… of England!”. The video has Dave and Martin recreating their leather bondage look from the 1981 video and leading a cast of England-supporting fist-clenching celebrities like Keith Allen, Baga Chipz, Captain Sensible, Noam Chomsky, Adam Ant and Dame Floella Benjamin down a busy London street. Incredibly, it’s a massive, massive success.
Particularly when Youtube influencers Mr Beast and Pewdie Pie share it. It’s the biggest thing since Gangnam Style and millions in revenue is somehow generated online – but there’s just one problem, this only directly benefits Mr Vince Clarke, who wrote the song.
“Aw, bollocks! We shoulda put one of ours on the B-side!” wails Dave
“Don’t be daft, you silly old sod!” said Martin “You don’t have B-sides these days!!!”
Nevertheless – they are very much buoyed by this success. Dave and Martin eye up more opportunities. So they buy the rights to one of their favourite songs and record a new version of it. That way they keep all the revenue, see.
They rush-release a version of Stop the Cavalry just in time for Christmas.
In the video, they are carrying rifles and wearing long military coats. We see them tramping through a bleak forest with shells exploding around them. Martin resembles Private Godfrey from the Dad’s Army closing credits…and this propels the clip to another stratosphere online.
Martin’s bewildered but well-meaning expression turns into a “meme” and is shared on social media every time a politician appears to not know what they are talking about or it is simply sent to people as an insult.
This is where it gets really interesting. The meme was purchased at lightning speed as a non-fungible token (NFT) by a surprisingly savvy Jonah Lewie, using the money Depeche Mode paid him for the song!
NFT trading was brisk with more pricing volatility than anything ever released in the entire history of the NFT markets. Within half an hour Jonah has ten million pounds in the bank.
“Fakkin’ ‘ell!” spits Dave “Why didn’t we think of that?”
“We haven’t even made money on the music!” whined Martin “All they want is the Meemee!”
They are more famous than ever but they aren’t making any money. Fletch always took care of the business side…he wouldn’t have made these kind of mistakes.
After this, they take stock and decide to go back to basics. They announce a simple 200 date world tour that takes in Africa, Asia, Australasia and the entire Pacific region. Corbijn is no longer on the scene (only Fletch had his number). To publicise the tour, iPhone photos of Dave and Martin with their thumbs up are released. The photo is taken in a back garden and you can see a hose on the ground behind them.
The tour is called “Depeche Mode – Back on the Road”.
There are no new songs and it rather feels like they are going through the motions. The fans are no longer turning up because they haven’t even attached an airy-fairy arty concept to the tour. They are losing money, hand over fist.
They contact old pal Paul Morely for help, who rebrands the tour “Depeche Mode – Raw!”.
Dave and Martin are photographed naked with just a dangling microphone (Dave) and a small Moog (Martin) protecting their modesty. There’s a “cheeky” from-behind shot as well, which is distressing and repulsive.
It’s no good. It’s the last straw for most fans and the tour is cancelled.
Undaunted, Paul Morely leaps into action again and writes an unfathomable 10,000 word essay on the Quietus about how the Dada movement has been reborn exactly 100 years later by Depeche Mode’s art experiments and recent situationist antics.
He calls them the “Doo-Doo-Doo-De-Doo-Doo Movement” and sincerely hopes he has picked up on an artistic zeitgeist for the very first time in his life. He has not. As usual, he’s just made it worse.
The tour lost so much money that Dave and Martin are now teetering on bankruptcy. Fletch was always so good with the money….
They are now on Lorraine, moaning about how the music business has ripped them off and also Radio1 refuses to play their songs.
“Ach well” says Lorraine, brightly “But yer all back the noo! With a new song!”
Well…not quite. They move to the stage area and perform a creaky version of Autobahn with Karl Bartos and Wolfgang Flur on BVs. Noone knows who they are – and neither do they, sadly.
Lorraine gamely claps along and drinks prosecco with Baga Chipz.
As we move to 2024, BTS have recorded a version of Personal Jesus to enormous acclaim. This means a very skint Dave and Martin are immediately keen to latch onto the world of K-Pop.
Some weeks later, the news breaks that the Freedom Film Production Co are to release “Annyeonghaseyo Mode!”.
Their new agent has connections and tees up an enormously lucrative deal in Pyongyang, “the capital of Korea” says Dave. “This really could be a turning point in our career” he adds.
“Annyeonghaseyo Mode!” is a knockabout comedy where Dave and Martin are mistaken for American spies and spend most of the film pleading with the military to release them from custody! It’s torture!
Kim Jong-Un himself appears near the end to single-handedly clear up the misunderstanding and order the execution of the guards responsible. After a 30 minute speech, the Great Successor benignly announces that the boys are free to go.
“No chance!” they say in unison – as giggling young women surround them, asking for selfies.
Kim looks to the camera, shrugs and shakes his head good-naturedly and rings a handbell.
( Alarm clock rings )
Oh….what’s that Sooty?* Oh ! It was all a dream, was it? Well, I do hope so Sooty! I hope so.
*By way of explanation I have slept with a Sooty puppet on my hand since attending a Catholic boarding school as a boy.
Brilliant stuff, Blackmeister! One of your lines put me in mind of a grumpy little man from Belfast in a hat…
‘William Blake, TS Eliot, Ted Hughes, Roger McGough, WILLIAM BLAKE WILLIAM BLAKE!!!! Playin’ R&B with Keith Allen, Baga Chipz, Captain Sensible, Noam Chomsky, Adam Ant and Dame Floella Benjamin – down by Basildon wi’ Depeché Mode Depeché Mode DEPECHÉ MODE!!!! Playin’ 80s pop pap an’ pretendin’ it’s dark an’ edgy like those guys… Fillin’ stadiums with a hologram of Fletch dancin’ or whatever it was he did… KEITH CHEGWIN! RAZZAMATAZZ! RADIO ONE ROADSHOW! IT’S TOO LATE TO STOP NOW!!! Actually, hang on, what am I sayin’…? No it’s not – I’m outta here!’
That’s the wireless knobs song isn’t it? I think your version is a much-needed update.
What a thoroughly enjoyable nightmare. Your Sooty puppet was the perfect punchline.
Thank you KFD, I really hope it wasn’t a true vision of the future and I can learn to laugh along with everyone else.
Depeche Quoasisters of Mercy – an Eldritch and Gahan duet, with Guigsy and Bonehead ‘nimbly’ interacting with Gore and Doktor Avalanche while Rossi twiddles away on his green Telecaster. I can see it now.
Less of your own personal cheeses before bedtime, I think.
Sound advice to reflect on before most of my posts and comments, I fear. But hey, people are people.
@Black-Celebration
Poor, poor Sooty.
His once luxuriant fur must be in a terminally sorry state by now
I know what exactly you mean. All that tossing and turning is bound to take its toll.
Was it a case of “Izzy Wizzy let’s get busy”
When he does that, you know it’s going to be magic.
Oh I say.
Jeez, that video is a low point for all concerned, including Peter Tork on bass, Elton John on sax and Roger DeCourcey on drums. (Nookie had the good sense to stay well away)
Which is a shame, because they did it all for him.
This thread is possibly* the crowning achievement of human civilization.
*citation needed
“I think human civilisation would be a very good idea.” – Bobby Davro said that.
Sooty would have been nothing without Sweep. It’s all about style over substance with some people.
Or indeed puppets.
Of course Sweep is the real star – but he’s just a tad noisy.
The “Fletch quality control” thing is a story told many times, isn’t it.
But I think it has large holes.
God knows where he was during the recording of the last horribly insipid album, the spiritless ‘Spirit’. I imagined that in real life Fletch was a meat and potatoes tell-it-like-it is kind of guy. And off record, he would have probably admitted that it was…. well, really very shit.
And his alleged superpowers seem to have been increasingly absent for most of post-Ultra, I suspect. Which is now over 30 years ago.
There has been an overwhelming sense of ‘will this do’ attitude in the DM camp in recent decades. And they know that it will indeed do, because people will buy 20 copies of it however poor it is. Sadly, it hurts to see/hear it after all the care and quality stuff they gave us.
But, as my dream imagines, a far worse state of affairs could happen. I quite liked Spirit. Delta Machine is the weakest one I think.
Great news – recent albums are always hit and miss – but always include great contemporary DM.
My post 2005 favs:
Cover Me.
Alone.
All That’s Mine.
Fragile Tension.
Wrong.
Oh Well (Black Light Odyssey Dub).
Miles Away/The Truth Is.
Precious.
Nothing’s Impossible.
Lilian.
Great choices – I’d add Wrong, Ghost and The Sinner in Me.
Wrong in there.
I’ve really warmed to Spirit. Going Backwards and Where’s The Revolution are great openers.
Not much to show for 17 years, though is it?
Although twice as many worthwhile tracks as New Order have produced in the 29 years post 1993.
Two words: Van Morrison.
Think with many bands of longevity – if you get two great tracks from their new album, you’re laughing!
Are you not keen on any of the Get Ready album? I’d agree it’s not all great but it has some decent moments.
I count Restless and Plastic (although it goes on too long) as listenable . The rest is sub-par, but all better than Lost Sirens.
@native Oops – sorry. As you were.
Bravo on your imagination and powers of prediction, and your Lorraine impression was uncanny.
I’m delighted to see them back in the studio. I had wondered if they might pack it in now Fletch (RIP) has gone, so it’s good to know they’re working away. I thought Spirit was pretty good – true, it’s not up there with their peak (from Black Celebration to SOFAD, since you ask), but it was a big improvement on Delta Machine, the album where they seemed unable to find the buttons marked “Fast tempo” and “Oomph” – a problem they also had while making Exciter.
I am now hoping against hope that a phone call might go out to a certain A. Wilder, who must have been at something of a loose end for a long time. Could he let bygones be bygones and rejoin them to sprinkle his music-arranging fairy dust over an album’s worth of tunes, rather than just knocking out a remix of an old Mode track, as he has sometimes been wont to do?
If the old gang could get back together and push up the tempo, there would be no need to bother Paul Morley, Dame Floella, and all the rest.
There is never any need to bother Paul Morley. Unless it were to convince him to change his name to Paul Lessley and to adhere strictly to that nominative determinism.
Or go the full spoonerism and change his name to Maul Poorly
It would certainly be widely welcomed if Wilder came back. Apparently at one point Vince Clarke hinted that he’d be up for a return and this was completely rejected as a possibility by Martin – which is fair enough, I think.
“I thought Spirit was pretty good – true, it’s not up there with their peak (from Black Celebration to SOFAD, since you ask), but it was a big improvement on Delta Machine, the album where they seemed unable to find the buttons marked “Fast tempo” and “Oomph””
And they found those things on Spirit?!
We must be talking about a different record.
The version of Spirit that I bought was full of limp, insipid, drab, dull songs of generally average to poor quality. Many of them almost indistinguishable from the rest.
I’m with Captain Darling. I think Spirit is their best one since Playing the Angel.
Well, SOTU was bloody awful too and DM wasn’t much better, so ‘since Playing the Angel’ is a pretty low level to achieve. Though I would say that for me it (Spirit) is, without doubt, their most pathetic album.
I hardly ever listen to S&S and ABF these days, but they were a young band at the start of an exciting journey, so they get special passes. The only excuse for Spirit is lack of mojo and, er, spirit.
I do believe Martins mojo has long since deserted him, and Dave never really had one (song writing).
Having said all that, if they do record something, I really do hope it is good. Just not expecting it to be.
Anyone with a spare half-an-hour today – on mute within that pointless conference call – this is a great watch – features DM.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuqiCdf0Aa8
Thanks – very enjoyable, particularly the PSB appearance which I hadn’t seen before. I also liked Garvey as a presenter here, he obviously loves all of it.
On a slightly different note than DMs recent output, over the past few weeks I have been listening to their early albums. I bought all the recent (and fabulous) 12″ boxset reissues, as and when they came out, and decided to give them a spin – which led me to the albums. Some of those early 12″ versions are superb. So, so well produced. I became a fan of DM, like many, in the late 80s/early 90s with Violator – and because of this I kind of dismissed their early stuff – which was always labelled as quite cheesy.
Making the effort and going back to their first four albums – Speak and Spell, A Broken Frame, Construction Time Again and Some Great Reward – was great fun. Remarkably, at a time when the technology involved in making these records was obviously slow and unreliable – I was shocked to see they released these four records within four years. As a band who famously never used preset sounds, they must have literally never left the studio!
I enjoyed all four albums. Taking into consideration when these albums were made, they really do sound superb.
I acquired S&S a while back having not heard it at the time. I was expecting ten toe-tapping humdingers but it’s not that at all, much more experimental.
You’re right – Speak and Spell is more of a mixed bag than people think – upbeat, poppy and cheesy and then dark and moody. Puppets and Photographic could sit easily on the later, more gloomy LPs.
@native When they became an overnight sensation in the US, they already had those LPs under their belt and a greatest hits album which was called “Catching Up With…” over there. It must be wonderful to go from Violator backwards because there’s so much gold in the 8 years before then (6 studio albums for a start).
The early 12” singles and B sides were reliably good and frequently astonishing. I’m glad you have had the pleasure of going through those.
I know nothing about these people. I do remember “I Just Can’t Get Enough” – that bit, anyway – so what’s their best album? I don’t want a compilation. Just their best album. Thank you.
Violator. By a long chalk.
See also: Speak and Spell
That one was written by Vince Clarke, before he left to form Yazoo and Erasure. It’s almost like a different band to everything else.
Songs of faith and devotion sounded great when I played it for the first time in 20 years the other day
I agree that Violator is the best one. It has a consistent late-night “vibe” throughout, apart from Personal Jesus – which breaks the mood as an out and out pop-glam stomper. Enjoy the Silence is the high point.
I’ll task myself with Violator, then.
If you feel like it, I’d be interested in what you reckon. If you hate it…don’t hold back! I won’t be offended.
I had to wiki the top ten albums for 1990, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_UK_top-ten_albums_in_1990 to get the context. Of all the albums listed, I only bought one – Van’s Enlightenment. It was not a year of much engagement with contemporary music. Springsteen was M.I.A., as was Zappa. Dylan was at his lowest ebb with Under The Red Sky. I bought the Grateful Dead’s Without A Net, Santana’s Spirits Dancing In The Flesh, Neil Young’s Ragged Glory, but without much enthusiasm. And it was a tough year for my marriage and my business, so music was not the priority it had been.
I’m listening to Violator now for the second time, and my impression is one of, well, weediness, which comes as a surprise given the dangerous title. Maybe they mean traffic violations? Clip-clop mid-paced rhythms, placeholder vocals, cheesy synth pre-sets. Bref, donc, I can’t understand what the fuss is about. It’s dull, grey music. I suppose it may have stood out in an epically empty year, but I don’t feel I missed out.
But, you know, thanks for momentarily changing my musical diet!
Yes, it was a joke title. As if it’s a heavy rock/metal thing when it so isn’t.
The next album, Songs of Faith & Devotion, is much louder, with lots of guitars and drums. A lot of people prefer that one.
“If you hate it….” how adorable.
The image of HP’s pretty nose wrinkling in disgust as he wades through a Depeche Mode album, like an AWer’s wife struggling to stay awake during a Richard Thompson gig, is Today’s Funniest Thing.
I approached it with an open mind. The glowing on-line testimonials (do your testimonials glow, moosey?) in no way prepared me for the unremitting, sodden limpness of the experience. Like chewing on a bus ticket while wearing a rain-soaked greatcoat at Didcot station.
Unremitting sodden limpness – Larkin’s not dead.
Unremitting, sodden limpnness is the english way.
They fuck you up, Dave and Martin.
Violator. The whole Violator era (and all aspects) was amazing. It is magnificent. Curiously I was disappointed when I first heard it. It felt kind of ‘cold’ (?) and I thought of New Order. Silly me. All these years later, I feel like I am still discovering bits. It is my fave album of all time.
I’d say it’s a good idea to stray two albums on either side of Violator.
Before the period outlined above (ie. before Black Celebration), there’s some quality stuff… it was fascinating growing up as they were growing and developing. They clearly cared, Martins mojo was super charging and Alan was doing Alan stuff.
After that (ie. after Ultra), there’s a few decent tracks here and there but a whole lot of average, below average and some really unforgivable poor. They clearly didn’t care as much and/or were simply unable to.
Uh … okay.
That’s you told. Get hip to the sound of 32 years ago, gramps!