So we are being told that we need to wash our hands for 20 seconds.
The suggestion is that’s twice through Happy Birthday.
I’m sure we’ve got better ideas.
Mine is this, with appropriate lyric adjustment (and sans intro which makes it exactly 20 seconds)
Oh yeah I’ll – tell you something
I think you’ll understand
When I – say that something
I’m gonna wash my hands
I’m gonna wash my hands
I’m gonna wash my hands
>>>>>
Listening on 5 live on the way home from work last night & “her majesty” was suggested as being the perfect length of time for a hand wash.
Rees Mogg suggested the first verse of the national anthem, but then he would. My favourite suggestion from Twitter is any verse of Desolation Row.
Someone on twitter christened him ‘The Haunted Pencil’.
Or one for Carrie Symonds:
I am gonna wash that man right out of my life
The Correct Use Of Soap of course.
More importantly, Mousey, do you have toilet roll? I believe Australia has run out.
First Dog: ‘…Covid-19 is clearly in the pocket of Big Toilet…’
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/mar/04/the-coronavirus-diaries-part-1-it-could-have-been-the-end-of-the-world
Excellent!
Australians can be bloody idiots. Actually my theory is the loo-pape panic is all to do with the decline of print media. Nobody buys newspapers anymore so they have no alternative if they run out of Sorbent. It’s only dusty old boomers like me who still get the daily newspaper delivered that are remaining calm
Lovely!
The refrain to Crazy in Love by Beyonce comes in at exactly 20 seconds. Confused a few people at work this morning when I started singing that in the bathroom.
Twenty seconds is roughly from ‘Can you tell me where my country lies’ to ‘she traded in his prize’ in ‘Selling England By The Pound’.
A few years ago in my previous job, one of my colleagues suddenly announced ‘It’s one o’clock!’. My boss next to me jumped up and said quite loudly ‘And time for lunch’, so up I meerkated ‘Lum-de-dum-de-dum-dum’. Colleague 1 was perplexed.
I’ve just worked out you could sing My Corona to the tune of My Sharona for twenty seconds, starting with Ooh, my little pretty one and ending on My, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!
You might want to sub-vocalise the dodgier sentiments in public loos though.
I have had this in my head for the last two months. As the kids would say Triggered!
Easy.
Cue up the original version of The Revealing Science of God from Tales From Topographic Oceans.
Start washing now!
Dawn of light lying between
A silence and sold sources
Chased amid fusions of wonder
In moments hardly seen forgotten
Colored in pastures of chance
Dancing leaves cast spells of challenge. Done!
Surely this?
And when I touch you I feel viral, inside.
It’s such a feeling that my bugs, I can’t hide, I can’t hide, I can’t hiiiiide.
Ai no Corona, scrub my hands
I soap them there
No germs is my command
I’m going with Doris Day’s/The Specials’ Enjoy Yourself (It’s Later Than You Think). The chorus is almost exactly 20 seconds.
This is quite weird and foreboding:
NWOBHM – The new bible!
# I’m washing hands
As well as I can
All by myself
After all
(Repeat)
It’s a disease ridden world #
1:30
“Hi I’m Johnny Knoxville, and I’m exposing myself to Coronavirus…”
This is the one:
Mega-Armageddon Death. 200 times.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rc4p6XVQuCU
This one seems to be trending.
I wasted a very happy hour creating handwashing posters with this a couple of nights ago – https://washyourlyrics.com/
Thunder Road works well!
On Belle & Sebastian’s Boaty Weekender last year, a guy with a guitar was positioned at the entrance to the main restaurant, singing ‘I want you to wash your hands’ to the tune of the above. Kinda miss it.
Time for some Jackie Leve – Washing by Hand: