I didn’t weather to post this but I’m out of ideas how to cope with something like this.
I suffered the sudden death of one of my teenage children over the weekend. The pain is unbearable and quite frankly although I have other family to carry on for, I don’t feel like it.
If anyone has any words of wisdom I’m all ears. Apologies if anyone is triggered by me posting this, as I’m sure other people have suffered similar. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.
Oh my goodness! This is just awful. Every parent’s nightmare.
I have no words of advice that will help at this early point. Just keep your loved ones close. Surround yourself with love as much as you can.
I feel for you and I can just offer my best wishes and support. xxxxxxx
Thank you
Oh God, I am so sorry. I can’t imagine what that is like for you and for your family. I can offer no advice but only to say that you should know there are people there for you and who can hep you get through this. Nothing else will mean much at this moment, but it will come to in time. Deepest, deepest condolences.
Thank you.
My very deepest and most sincere condolences to you and your loved ones.
It is far too early for you to be thinking about coping with your loss. As Tigger has advised surround yourself with as much loving support as you can and hold on to one another. You will over time find ways to manage and eventually come to terms with your grief. That is the only reassurance I can offer you. My heart goes out to you. Xx
Thank you. It is hard to think when this unbearable grief will pass. It doesn’t feel like it ever will
It is far too early and your world has been completely upended. Take comfort from your loved ones, help one another one day at a time.
My experience for what it’s worth is that you carry the grief with you and it doesn’t go away but you do do over time learn to manage it. Love doesn’t die. It’s eternal. Xx
Have some thumbs up.
Please accept my condolences – what a horrible loss.
You mention having other family to carry on for – I suspect that they are all feeling like you do, and are trying to carry on for you and for each other. Like Tigger said, keep your loved ones close – you must all be in shock and you need each other. I’m sure no advice will sound useful to you at this point and I feel for you in that. This is clumsy, I’m sorry. Thoughts withnyou
This is not clumsy thank you
I’ve tried to reply before but had to come back to it as I find it difficult to put into words how sorry I am, I’m sure you have friends who will find it difficult to put into words too.
Sincere condolences.
Thank you. I know from before I would not know what to say. But I don’t want people to hide away from us but I understand why
It’s an impossible situation
Jeez. How awful. I know how you feel, I think. This happened to me, too. I became “comfortably numb” in my mental state, as there was lots to deal with practically. Grief was private for me. We were in a bath of love and sympathy, as everyone around us was very kind. Life goes on, and retreat into nature and what is good was healing. My wife and I both work in caring professions, and we both double-down in our compassion and care of lost youth, wishing professionals had stepped up to help our son when we reached out. Good luck. PM me if you want personal input.
Thank you
Dreadful news. As Pencilsqueezer said it is far too early to think about coping.
My in-laws lost two daughters and a grandson (then 27). The grandson had been brought up as my wife’s brother as one of the daughters was her elder sister and he would otherwise have been an orphan.
It was an unexpected death and I was left with the task of telling her – it was the worst thing I have ever had to do in my life. My in laws went to the grave with the grief – it did get better but it did not go away nor should it. My wife has a photo of her ‘baby brother’ on the wall and gently touches it every day.
He passed 25 years ago. Deeply loved and sadly missed just as it should be.
My thoughts are with you.
I have no words – but am thinking of you.
“Sorry for loss” hardly seems enough. We’re here for you.
No words, Thegp. My heart goes out to you and I just can’t contemplate something like this.
Horrendous. Words seem useless, but please know that everyone here wishes you well.
That’s terrible news, and I wish I had constructive advice to offer. I hope you do find the strength to carry on for the people who need you, and good luck to you and your loved ones at this awful time.
No words of wisdom, @Thegp, only to say I am so sorry to hear this today and my sincere condolences to you and your loved ones.
No words of wisdom here either – just echoing the sympathies expressed more eloquently by others.
No words, but lots and lots of sympathy
Awful news, just about the worst that anyone can have to endure. My heart aches for you. Nothing to add to the above. Surround yourself with the love of others, seek professional help when it feels right to do so (for the rest of your family as well as yourself), and know it is early days of a long process and that there is no ‘right’ way to do it, just what’s right for you.
My heartfelt condolences. Not much I can say to help, but I really hope you find the strength to carry on.
No words. Most of us (I presume) have never met you, but if the collective warmth of a bunch of friends you haven’t met yet can help, please keep in touch.
I am so sorry to read this & I cannot imagine or comprehend how you may be feeling right now. I can only echo all of the sympathies on here & I am sending you & your family lots of love.
Nick Cave speaks very honestly about his experience in the faith, hope & carnage book & from reading others comments about his words, they were of help to them. If it would help in any way then I can send you a copy
Thank you. I will read this at some point
Can offer nothing but deepest sympathy. The pain will never go away but in time there’ll be less of it, I hope.
From personal experience all I can add is that for the first few weeks you will be numb (Why are people still going to work? Why are the buses still running?) but slowly, slowly and, of course, with the help and support of friends and family, you learn to cope with the grief. The hurt never goes but you just deal with it better knowing that your child doesn’t want you to forget but also wants you to carry on and be as happy as is possible.
Stay strong even though right now you feel anything but strong. Love from The Languedoc
I can’t really process what you are going through. As a parent, losing a child is just to sad to even consider. You have my absolute sympathy for your loss and what you are going to have to cope with over the coming months and years. Condolences to you and your family, Look after each other.
Some very wise words above, and I would echo Pencilsqueezer in particular.
I can only add that offering sincere condolences and support may feel clumsy, but it is so much better to get it out there. My heart goes out to you.
I have no words of wisdom, just my heartfelt condolences (such a cliché word) for your unfathomable loss.
What a fine thing it is for you to feel able to ask us scruffy lot to share and understand your pain. Know that there are a lot of good people in here who will be thinking of you over the coming weeks and months, sending you every good thought we can muster. There are those amongst us who particularly understand personal grief and who will be able to offer more than simple words. But even simple words will be heartfelt and sent with love. Stay strong, for both yourself and for the rest of your loved ones. Give it time.
Thank you x
Sorry for your loss. I have kids and grandkids but I wouldn’t even like to imagine what you must be going through. Sincere sympathy and my thoughts are with you.
I have no idea how that must feel. However although life won’t ever feel the same I would imagine a “new normal” could establish itsepf over time. We’ll all be here for you to talk about it should you feel the need.
Jeez, I’m so sorry for your loss. I can only begin to imagine what you are going through and how you feel. As those have mentioned above keep coming back here and keep checking in.
As others have said you and your family need to be there for each other. I cannot put into words how I would feel in the same circumstances and I truly feel for you @Thegp and your family. At these times family and friends need each other more than ever and I hope you can all support each other. I look back at the words I’ve wrote and they seem so inadequate.
Peace and Love, Richie
Thank you
First, I’m so sorry to hear this. When a close friend died very suddenly when I was young I shut down emotionally for quite a while. It all came out in floods about two months later, so be ready if this happens to you. I’d also take all offers of support and care. The people round you all want to help and having meals cooked for you, admin taken care of etc, will be invaluable.
As the man said, when you’re going through hell, keep going. As other posters have said, it won’t get better but it’ll get easier to deal with, eventually. Take care of yourself.
I am so sorry to hear this, absolutely awful beyond all words. As with the others above, sending love and positive thoughts your way, for whatever that’s worth right now.
A dear friend of mine went through something similar a few years back (in as much as unique tragedies of this type can ever be similar). It was and remains a long road to figure out how to make life go on in the aftermath, but he shared with me that in the early days he came across the below post and it helped him to make a little sense of it all. I don’t know where he found it, probably a community similar to this one, but I’ll share it here just in case it’s helpful to you as it was to him.
X
“I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don’t want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don’t want it to “not matter”. I don’t want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can’t see.
As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.
In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.
Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O’Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out.
Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.”
Thank you. I like the post, I’m being crushed by the waves. But then it’s 3 days ago and reminders are everywhere
This struck a heavy blow at my heart – I’m sure that’s true of all of us. I doubt anyone who hasn’t been through this nightmare can know what you’re going through, but there is wisdom here from Vincent and from Peter and from Lodes. From me there’s just – well, “deepest sympathy” could never be adequate for what I’d like to convey, but it will have to do. You’re in my prayers. May you and your loved ones find some peace from the pain. I’m so very sorry for your loss.
Thank you
A work colleague approached me last week and told me it was a year since his mum passed. He’s clearly still struggling as it was sudden and unexpected. We talked for about an hour and he shared some of his feelings with me. I mostly listened but tried sharing some experiences and I think he went away feeling better. As a father I can’t imagine your pain. I’m honoured that you came here for support and as always the great and good of this funny little place have said all the right things. I’m also pleased you came here because like my work colleague to have someone to share this stuff with is vital. I think I speak for everyone when I say DMs are open for you if ever you need or just here on this thread keep talking and sharing. My experience with grief is to let it do its thing, work with it and definitely don’t fight it. As others have said you just learn to live with it because it never really leaves. You’ll find your own way and it will get easier. I wish you well and send you my deepest condolences 🙏
Thank you Dave. I follow you on Twitter and have always found your posts to be very empathetic as above.
It’s unbearable at the moment
@thegp goodness, thank you.
That’s completely understandable. What else could it possibly be? Thoughts are with you tonight 🙏
As others have said, there are no adequate words for this. I am just so, so sorry for you and what you are going through. Love from me and Mrs H to you and your family. Xx
Christ, that is terrible. As others have said, take it day by day and help each other cope in your family as you are all going through this together, not alone. Jeez, words are so inadequate. Love and condolences from the T family.
I had a brush with a possible tragedy only this week – I was diagnosed with pneumonia last week and had spent a lot of time with my grandaughter before it got really bad and I was diagnosed, but little 10 month Aoife suddenly was unwell at the beginning of this week and the thought of anything happening to her because of me, however unwittingly, sent me to a very dark place indeed. Thankfully all seems well, but it makes you realise how vulnerable we all are and how precious our loved ones are.
Reading these heartfelt messages written for somebody who (I assume) is a stranger to most of us is very moving indeed. I don’t have children and can’t begin to know what you’re going through, but I hope they provide some kind of support, Thegp.
What a wonderful place this little corner of the internet is.
Oh man I am so sorry to hear that. All my condolences. I can’t possibly imagine how you feel though the blanket of pain must be unbearable. Nothing much useful I can contribute other than from personal experience my younger brother took his own life at age 21 and we were all devastated of course but somewhere I realised I had to try to hold it together to look after my parents who were totally shattered of course. I think trying to look after them gave me a channel to at least manage my own pain though of course it doesn’t deal with it – only time, hopefully, mitigates it to some degree.
Just be kind to yourself and remember whatever you need to do is ok at the moment. When I lost my dad I was devastated and pickled myself in whisky every night for 2 weeks. I wouldn’t exactly recommend it but Mrs. T bravely left me too it each night and I sat and wept and one day I didn’t. Whatever you need is ok.
Goes without saying of course, anything I/we can do just ask. X
Thank you and sorry for your own loss
Thanks gp.
I would say beware of the drink at this time.
When my nephew Chris was killed (IED in Afghanistan while serving as a Royal Marine) my late sister in law, who’d always been a little too fond of a drink, increased her intake dramatically and a self-perpetuating cycle of drink and depression basically took over. She drank because she was depressed after her loss and drinking only made the depression worse but she couldn’t see it.
I’m not sure I’m ever going to drink or do anything joyful ever again
I’d agree Mike.
So sad to read this. My thoughts are with you at this terrible time.
Hi – Newbie here – We lost our 28 year old daughter to thyroid cancer just over a year ago , leaving two small grand-daughters and her husband – Her passing was a drawn out affair and indeed she reached the stage where she wanted to ‘go’ – As a parent the last thing you want is your child in pain and discomfort . She was prepared to the point that she even took her daughters out to by outfits for her own funeral . Her absence has been/ and will be a constant mental ‘ pain ‘ I carry with me and I would n’t want to be without it . I ‘ talk ‘ to her every day and we mention her freely – The real ‘ death’ being when no-one remembers . I still post my thoughts and feelings to her Facebook page . Remember , your child would not want you to be unhappy on their behalf – indeed our daughter made that quite clear along with ‘ be kind ‘ . Grief is love with nowhere to go . It won’t disappear, but , you will , in time , come to terms with it and live with it . Be kind to yourself . Best , if inadequate , Wishes
What a time and way to enter the community, @the-do-dah-man, and with such wisdom. Your words are wondrous to read, and as you still grieve yourself. Welcome. I hope they can resonate through to the impossible place @thegp is at. I can find no words to add, but your words of “be kind to yourself” are what I will echo to @thegp
(Community? I thought room, I discarded site. But, actually, we are.)
Thanks for such warm words RTP2 , I just humbly fulfil my calling as a street prophet , gutter intellectual and pound store philosopher . Peace Out and Chill .
Welcome along Do-dah.
Thanks muchly !
I’ll add my condolences, if I may, however inadequate.
Not the same at all but my mum died suddenly when I was 17 and many years later, I wish had gone for some kind of grief counselling, had it been available. Others here are better placed to have an opinion on this but counselling helped me a few years ago and I should have gone sooner.
Best wishes
Echoing this re counselling. Helped me a lot and I found I went looking for a solution to symptoms and in due course actually got to the problem (s).
This is heart-breaking. I’m so sorry for your loss. I have no idea what to say to help or advise other than I hope your reaching out here has helped you through the initial heavy blow.
When I have experienced grief I have been aware that the hollowing out of thought and the numbness has been a shared and mutual thing with significant others. All of you will feel the same. There is no need to feel any guilt at not wanting to engage for a while.
Every condolence. Take good care.
I am so sorry for you. What a terrible loss. It must be so hard to bear. So much life, then suddenly not there. I am not surprised you are in shock. Everything is different, lesser, ripped apart. Such a major part of you has been taken from you. It must feel like a deep wound, an awful absence.
I think you were tremendously brave to post on the site, and thank you so much for sharing something of such importance and heartbreak, for trusting us with your vulnerability. I think by doing that, you are acknowledging publicly your new terrible reality, and that is extraordinarily courageous, when I feel that you must want nothing more than for your child’s death not to have happened.
Your situation is so harsh, and my spontaneous response is quite probably so as well – inappropriate and not respectful of your need for comfort, which I am sure is there for you from your nearest and dearest as you burn through the scalding pain.
I’m sorry I can’t do much except acknowledge that pain and pay tribute to your seeking help. I hope the wise counsel and multiple expressions of love from others above help you recognise that there is a lot of empathy towards you as you grieve your loss.
It’s not an appropriate response, thank you
I had to post somewhere as the sheer suddenness of this was the worst part. Is the worst part
Having the best most joyful thing in life taken away in the blink of an eye for what must be a random reason is un fathomable
I am sorry. Others may have said they blundered. I did. Can the admins delete my comment?
It’s fine sorry mistyped it’s ok
I meant “it’s not an inappropriate response” @salwarpe
Thanks you for your message my typing is not working..
Thanks, TheGp. I do hope you are getting the support and love you need.
I am just so sorry for you, your family and those close to you.
I have suffered the loss of parents at a very young age and my own child.
It is beyond comprehension but the days become clearer.
Be strong.
Thank you and sorry
I’m so terribly sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine – and dare not even try to imagine – how devastating it must be to lose a child. Tears and prayers for you and your family.
I lost one of my best friends very young, and I know that it helped her parents to get involved in work to deal with the cause of her death; to prevent others from having to deal with such tragic loss. But as others have said – that comes later. Take care of each other, talk, celebrate the life of your child while mourning the loss of that life.
And, as silly as it may sound, don’t forget to eat! It may turn to ashes in your mouth, but you need strength to get through this time.
Big hug,
Anna.
I do not have any words of wisdom, or anything more than anyone else has said.
Please do take care of yourself.
I can’t for a moment understand how difficult this is and don’t have any words or wisdom or advice. I can only add to the condolences and wish you all the very best.
So sorry for you. I’ve shed a few tears myself reading all the above. Like most of us of a certain age on here I’ve lost parents, but not at an early age. I think the important thing is that you don’t stop talking about your child, and that includes friends, who must not be scared of doing so. We are mostly crap about dealing with other peoples grief.
In our own little ways we are on here to talk with you when you need us. Much love.
Some sincere, caring and wise posts here that can hopefully give a little solace. Wishing you well through this terrible time.
Never had anything so bad happen to me so couldn’t begin to understand what you’re feeling – but you have my deepest sympathy.
Hi…deepest sympathy to you and the rest of your family.
My grandson died two months into lockdown and to be honest I died quite a bit too inside and nothing has been the same, how could it be.
The learning to live with it thing and the healing in time thing does I have found happen but it’s like learning to live in a different way….this is my experience.
You may get angry, very angry. I did and to a certain extent still am and in a stupid way feel comfortable in this state. As lockdown started I went dry but have drunk all the drinks after he died and have not been able to stop, it numbs, it helps, I like it, it’s destructive of course and I can’t seem to temper it. I’m a great functioning alcoholic. Please beware and try to not take this path.
My best mate, a fellow The The fan, sent me a one line text to comfort me at the time it said ” Love is Stronger Than Death”
I have thought about that many times since and realise I think that it’s true.
Be kind to yourself at this awful time.
LoveLoveLove
LoveLoveLove
Me & my friend were walking
In the cold light of mourning.
Tears may blind the eyes but the soul is not deceived
In this world even winter ain’t what it seems.
Here come the blue skies Here comes springtime.
When the rivers run high & the tears run dry.
When everything that dies.
Shall rise.
LoveLoveLove is stronger than death.
LoveLoveLove is stronger than death.
Songwriter: Matt Johnson
Some good advice contained up there. With my problem-solving Engineer head on, these seem to be the takeaways (apologies for the bullet-point style bluntness):
Don’t start drinking, it just prolongs the agony.
Do see your GP who can help with sleep, eating, etc. Your body needs rest and fuel for your brain to work.
Do speak to someone if you can. Counsellors don’t tell you what to do, they listen to you and you work it out through airing your thoughts to someone neutral. That’s what I found, anyhow.
Do keep the conversation going. Different scenario, but my kids were too young to really know their grandparents before they died, but we talk about them all the time and they know they were loved. Daft as it sounds, I still half-expect my stepdad to be on the other end whenever I pick up the phone, and he died 15 years ago. Gone but not forgotten.
I’ve spent the better part of today thinking about this. Is there something I can say, or recommend?
And I came up dry. All I can say is that whatever positive thoughts I can have for you, I am. I wish you, and your family peace, and love.
Thank you x
Really sorry to hear of your loss. If I could offer a single suggestion it would be to try and focus on one day at a time for the moment.
I’m so sorry for your loss @Thegp. I am glad that you felt able to talk about it here and I hope that there’s some small comfort in the many supportive responses.
It will be 30 years in November since my son died. I think of him every day. Different circumstances, he was 8 months old. But I remember the impossibility of it, the constant astonishment that the rest of the world continued to function. The loss and the grief overwhelmed our senses and it didn’t seem possible that would ever change. It does though. So slowly that you don’t notice it.
One day I woke up and it wasn’t the first thing I thought of when I opened my eyes. I felt guilty about that. But that’s how it goes. And the sunlight comes back into life, alongside the loss. We became happy again but not in the way that we had been before. I’m sure it seems unthinkable now that you might be too and too soon to even think of it – but hide it away as a hope.
It’s dusty in here and I can’t see the Thumbs Up button. Elegant, touching advice I think.
Oh man here too.
Dreadfully sorry for your loss @landocakes I’m sorry if this brought back bad memories
Thank you @Thegp and absolutely not, so please don’t give that another thought.
Thank you for writing that Lando. Incredibly insightful.
Like many others, I have been shaken by your post and really don’t know what to say. I am an infrequent poster, but felt that I had to add my condolences and best wishes. The Afterword is an amazing community and hopefully the kind words from all the posters can provide some comfort to you and your family.
Thank you
I’m really sorry to hear this @Thegp . A close friend went through a terrible tragedy around 15 years ago and his reflection on that time now is very similar to those expressed by Lando and others above. I think your instinct to post about it here is a positive one. My friend says counselling and opening up to a few friends made made a big difference when he looks back on it now, although at the time he really struggled with both. As has already been said, take it a day at a time.
Thank you
Very sorry to hear about your loss.
I hope some of the wisdom shared on here brings some small comfort.
I have held off reading this entire thread for a few days, just out of my own emotional cowardice.
Thegp, I don’t have anything to offer apart from my deepest condolences. I’ve had tears streaming down my face all morning from the thought of what you are experiencing (I have two teenage children). I can only presume this is something you get through, rather than over.
And thanks to my fellow Afterworders for openly sharing your experiences and offering such sensible advice. This is a good crowd.
Thank you and sorry for causing you this emotional distress
Deepest condolences on your loss. As regards dealing with grief, take a little bit from all who have contributed – as will I. My parents passed away a week apart earlier this year and I am still dealing with it myself. I find that thinking time is your enemy a little bit. The first few weeks were raw but there was so much to do from a practical sense that I didn’t have time to dwell – they lived in Malta so I was out there on my own for a few months dealing with finishing up their lives over there. It is only now as the legal processes grind slowly on that I find more difficulty. As someone mentioned earlier it is those thoughts when you wake up and – in my case – when I’m out running, that are the ones that invade your mind and linger. When I’m busy there is less time for those thoughts, but whether that is just kicking the can down the road or not….
Maybe now is the time to consider bereavement counselling, Salty? Often, things are too raw in the initial phase, then there is work to be done, which is a distraction. Commonly, it’s once the dust has settled, everyone else has got back to their normal lives and you don’t want to burden friends and family any more, when counselling helps.
I don’t know which part of the country you live in, but PM me if you like and I may be able to point you towards some good services.
I also have nothing really to give other than deepest condolences. My parents died within a few years or each other when I was still a teenager. It was awful, and hard but I knew that parents did die and that was the way of the world. I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child. Such things are not supposed to happen. I have six children of my own but only two left at home. They are healthy and happy, I think, but I worry about them often.
Having lost three of my most loved in the space of under six weeks beginning in late January this year, I have an inkling of the scale of your grief, @Thegp, but since all were considerably older than me, I can’t really imagine what it must be like for you.
All I can do is offer a big virtual hug, and second the wise words of those who have already commented, especially the advice not to try and drown your sorrows.
Another newbie here, I’ve been onboard as a lurker from the very beginning and a Word mag purchaser from the early days. Often I have nearly registered here to respond to a post which grabbed my interest but then moved back into the shadows. Anyway this post and the responses moved me to respond. I can’t find the words to express my sorrow Thegp, I am so terribly sorry for you and your family. My father died in February and I witnessed the death of my friend as me and my wife tried to save him in June.I’m still numb but took great solace from the Nick Cave book mentioned in a post further up, but also his Red Hand Files website where he offers words of compassion to many who have suffered great tragedy. His recent podcast on Spotify with Louis Theroux he spoke with grace and sensitivity about the ‘mechanics of grief’ in regard to his own experience of losing his son in 2016.He expressed so well how he and his wife dealt with their grief. One thing I can say – grief is cunning and will keep coming back for more. For now though just hold on, you will be devastated and raw , so many here are clearly holding you in their thoughts. Take care.
Thank you x
I have no wisdom to impart, and nothing to say that would be adequate in the circumstances. I just wish you and your family all the best in coming to terms with such a tragic loss.
Thank you
There’s nothing I can add that hasn’t been said before, but I just wanted you to know my thoughts are with you and your family. Take care.
Thank you
The single worst thing I’ve had to endure is watching my son carry my grandson into the crematorium. Six years ago now. I asked him how he coped with getting over it. He said you go into a sort of trough after the funeral, then it’s simply a matter of time, but things will get better.
I’m sure they will for you.
All the best
Iain.
Exactly what I was thinking. Funeral is tomorrow. Lots of organising to be done, people to see, brain is occupied
From the day after then what happens I don’t know
My thoughts will be with you and your family tomorrow and I am sure will not be the only one here who will be thinking of you.
I wish I had some wise words that would help you through the grief you are enduring.
But what I can promise is that when tomorrow’s ordeal is over, I and all the denizens of this den of arrant nonsense and triviality will be here for you if you want a chat of any kind.
Good luck!
Thank you