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Brands You Just Don’t Get

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I just can’t see the point of these brands. I’ve tried, in each case, but can’t get along with them.

Sanyo
Gola shoes
Crosse & Blackwell

What brands just make no sense to you?

0

Comments

  2. Gola we’re a local manufacturer when I was growing up, although I think you’d get the piss ripped out of you for wearing a pair of their trainers or football boots at school. My uncle used to work at their factory, although I think I had an uncle or aunt who worked at most of the local boot and shoe factories. Crosse and Blackwell I never got on with, but the Kinks were a different matter entirely.

  3. You don’t have to get on with Sanyo. Panasonic bought them at the end of 2009 for their battery technology and pretty much killed off the name over the next year or so. They might still brand air conditioners Sanyo in far flung places but household items, TVs and projectors either become Panasonic or just stopped being produced. In my line of work, Sanyo were like a Transit van: did the job ok but if you had the money, you’d probably buy a Mercedes Sprinter.

  5. Matsui – my first “Walkman”. It was about 20 quid cheaper, and for a reason. It worked, but it was a bit crap and failed quite quickly.
    Goodmans – the car stereos seemed to have an inbuilt obsolescence of about 9 months. Foolishly, I bought 3 of them.
    I will defend Amsrad though.

  7. Any branded trainers. I honestly can’t tell the difference between a deeply desirable pair of trainers and a risible pair. Just as well I don’t wear them.

    • I used to be like that.

      Then Sharon let me know about Brooks, her shoes of choice. And given how much she walks in them, I thought I’d follow her advice.

      My feet have never been happier, and I wear them 6 days out of 7

    • I used to be like that with trainers, until New Balance were recommended. Got into wearing them during those permitted exercise periods during lockdown…sheer bliss.

      • I’m not against the idea of trainers – they’re clearly very comfortable and great for exercising. What goes over my head is the styling aspect, how people are willing to pay hundreds for limited editions which are indistinguishable (to me) from cheaper versions. Their money, their choice, but I put it in the mental file marked ‘just not for me’.

  8. There was a story a few years ago on NZ TV about a retired man who used some of his pension lump sum to treat himself to a very stylish Swiss-made watch. He’s admired the brand for years.

    He was very pleased with it but after a couple of weeks he noticed that it wasn’t keeping time very well despite doing all the things you are meant to, according to the material that came with the purchase. He wasn’t expecting atomic clock levels of accuracy but he did think that a brand that prides itself on reliable timekeeping would have a product that doesn’t need resetting manually every day. It cost several thousand dollars.

    When he wrote to the company, they refused to engage with him – so he took it to this TV show (NZ equivalent to Watchdog). At this point, businesses tend to cave in and make it right. But on this occasion the watch manufacturer doubled down and said that they don’t promise perfect timekeeping – what you are buying is the brand. He now has a very smart looking watch from a top brand – and that’s the extent of their promise.

    I genuinely don’t recall the brand name and I don’t want to throw any names out – but I remember it being one of those brand names that you associate with excellent craftsmanship/timekeeping as well as it being a nice looking thing. They said they didn’t have a case to answer and that was that.

    • Hmmm. All would depend on what he bought of course, but if it was a high end Rolex, Omega, Patek or similar he may have had a point.

      While no mechanical watch at any price will match the long term accuracy of a quartz or atomic timekeeper most expensive Swiss watches are COSC or. METAS certified. Which are certifications that class them as ‘chronometer grade’. Meaning that they should offer accuracy of plus or minus 2 seconds a day. Pretty goddam hot for a mechanical and if you’re forking out four or five figures what you should expect.

      The bulk of those four of five figure payments are indeed for the brand. They have skilled watchmakers to train and pay well, plus the astronomical cost of maintaining the luxury cachet through high end advertising. You pay for that for them by being willing and able to want such a thing.

  9. Tongue-logo Rolling Stones – looks horrible, always did, and every variation looks worse than the one before.

    Anytime I see someone wearing it, I think “Hmm, that’ll be the guy to go to for info on Jimmy Reed or the Five By Five E.P.”

  13. Jonathan Richman is certainly not a fan of the Levi’s jeans brand.

    “Don’t talk Levi’s because I’ve tried.
    My hips they had no room to play in,
    and my little bum felt all trapped inside….”

    (“My Jeans”)

  15. It’s “the narcissism of minor differences “, innit? I don’t get designer and brand snobbery / status. Always smells like marketing to me. Fashion seems a confidence trick, whereas style is a mix the individual creates from a combination of elements that differentiates people. Give me style, even if it’s a Tommy Nutter flared suit and platform heels. I DID have an Eton tie and a fake Rolex acquired in Hong Kong for £20 once, these worn as subversive irony, only appreciated by myself, deconstructing those who think these things are of value. Do I care if my jeans are Levi’s, Wrangler, Brutus, or Foster’s menswear? No I do not.

    • Your jeans have lasted well if they are from Foster’s menswear!

      I could never imagine who would ever buy anything from the M&S Blue Harbour range. Mind you, I haven’t been in one of their shops for a few years so it could be brilliant or discontinued for all I know but I suspect it’s still going and still shite.

      • Having just dropped me trousers to check the label, it appears that I am wearing jeans purchased at the closing down sale at a local branch of Peacocks – sub £10, I’m guessing. Is that better or worse than M&S in your table of reckoning?

        • “I dropped my trousers to check the label, m’lud”.
          M&S Blue Harbour rather than them in general, l used to by my suits from them back in days when I was expected to wear one.
          I don’t think I’ve ever been in Peacocks, so I can’t really say.

      • Using some of their other devices to organise music, photos etc on my phone. Only allowing Apple apps to do things I want to do. Android is much easier for me

        • It’s very easy to ignore all that. I do. The so-called Apple ecosystem is aimed at DINKs who live in California and feel the need to sync everything, not the rest of us.

                • It probably isn’t a bit better spec though. A decent spec iPhone is similar in price to a similar spec android. Apple don’t do cheap phones. If you’re spending £800 on a phone, you can do that with Apple, Samsung and others. There are lots of differences (screen quality, battery life, battery life – even the materials made). Apple phones are not cheap but there is a logical and technical argument that they offer good value in their market segment. But they are not in the sub £250 phone segment.

                    • All just personal preference. Some upgrade their phones every 2 years or so to get some camera improvement or something. My phone cost around $250, is fast, has enough memory and the camera is good enough for anything I might want to do. Hopefully good for another year or two if I don’t manage to break it which is what usually happens

  17. Sub-brands in the car business, such as DS and Cupra. The former are supposed to be more upmarket Citroens. The latter are supposed to be more upmarket, sportier Seats. As a brand, Seat has always seemed to be nothing more than a cheaper VW, and that’s despite the VW Group pumping zillions of Euros into Seat’s rallying programme. Yet surely if you can’t afford a new VW, why not buy a used one? Or a Skoda? I’ve noticed that Seat drivers are among the most aggressive on the road. Probably from having to explain their purchase.

    • It took me a couple of years to realise that Cupra (“sponsors of ITV mystery drama”) were part of Seat ergo part of VW. They annoy me by advertising in every single ad break of every police drama Mrs F watches, and that’s before I’ve even driven one of their cars.

      • If Mrs. F were to watch the crime dramas on ITV3 then you’d get adverts for Viking River cruises or Careco riser/recliner chairs in every ad break. I only know this as this is how Mrs. Paws likes to consume her old episodes of Midsummer murders.

        • You also get Sun Life and other reminders of the ageing process.
          I’m sure the bloke in the Sun Life ads has murdered his wife and attempting a carry-on with his next door neighbour

        • I think that it was Viz magazine who perfectly described such ads, typically during Countdown, as aimed at “coffin-dodgers”. I love and treasure Viz for this type of thing.

              • Anyone unlucky enough to watch Channel 5 during the day will have seen a plethora of the ‘death/infirmity’ adverts. What always puzzles me is why the protagonists always seem so jolly about death – perhaps it will be a sweet release from constantly being asked if they’ve got a Verisure alarm yet.

        • Viking River Cruises really annoys me. Only because a not too close friend recently asked Mrs Attackdog and I ‘have you been on a Viking cruise yet’?
          It was a none too polite way of placing us in a certain age group.
          My response? ‘No we have not been on a fucking Viking River Cruise’.
          No further questions, M’lud.

          • A friend of a friend from university, and later a colleague of mine for a decade, asked me about accepting a job offer from my current employer. “On LinkedIn, everyone there seems to be quite old”.

            My reply: you are 55!

              • No, but coming from a failed Cambridge startup where everyone else was 20-something… I made a similar switch 13 years ago, where I (at age 40) went from being by far the oldest to almost the youngest.

              • I am 61 (since Friday), for a while (about 3-4 years ago) I was the youngest test engineer in my group (apart from the manager)! This is no longer the case but I may need to work another 10 years or so, others are working into their mid 70s, so a 55 yr old could conceivably have another 15-20 years to work, unless he had one of those cushy government jobs here with strict working hours and excellent pensions (said in a bitter way)

    • I had a Skoda Kodiaq (when they were first out and so, therefore, a bargain). I got a Seat Taracco to replace it because it is virtually the same car but, less fashionable so better discounts were available. I drive it in the same way I did the Skoda. They are both VW Tiguans with cosmetic differences, much better equipment levels and about 15% cheaper.

    • I’ve had a couple of Seats. It wasn’t until I was buying the second that I was made aware (by the salesman) that they are somehow sporty. It still made no difference to me.
      Also, Seats are actually closer to being cheap Audis than cheap VWs….and, the main reason I would buy a new car is because it had the extras I wanted without compromising.

      • Well, of course Audis are just VWs in higher end branding. I think VW and Skoda are supposed to be sensible and Audi and Seat sporty. But all of them have sensible and sporty versions of models.

        • Actually, the main difference between my Seat Ibiza and my Audi A1 seemed to be the build quality…. and the price of a service at the Audi dealer!

          • They definitely make the insides out of nicer stuff in the Audi. But I think the Seat and Skoda interiors are very good.
            I do like the service centres for VAG that do more than one brand. Separate receptions but it all joins up where the work is done – with mostly the same parts.

  19. The brands I actually don’t get at all are the made-up ones to replace old fashioned-sounding financial services businesses. So Trustworthy Lovely Scottish Mutual Friends Society from 1803 becomes AROOGA!

          • On that theme (sort of), while I can see it’s a new and better idea – witness a series of protagonists in situations where poor sight has cost them – I wonder whether someone got a six figure sum to update “Should have gone to Radio Rentals” to “Should have gone to Specsavers”.
            Probably the same c**t who “designed” the cover of The Next Day…

            • Each situation in SpecSavers ads lose an element of comedy because it’s not just bad eyesight… The beach volleyballer who “plays” a seagull instead of the ball and then celebrates as if he’s made an excellent, point-winning shot.

              That’s like a footballer taking a penalty and celebrating afte4 successfully kicking the ball. It’s what happens next that causes the celebration or despair.

              • The early Should’ve gone to Specsavers TVCs were good because the jokes were visually related and relevant – the guy catching the fire engine instead of the bus, etc.

                The most recent one about the delivery guy carrying a big package up the stairs of the wrong tower block was just stupid. Given the shitty way delivery drivers are treated, it was also borderline offensive.

                Should’ve watched Ken Loach’s Sorry We Missed You.

  20. I have drunk any number of coffees in any number of forms – filter, instant, freshly ground – from any number of brands. They’re all indistinguishable to me. So now I just buy whichever instant brand is on special offer.

  22. An old pal & me have been known to have extremely lengthy conversations about brands & their currency (usually clothing related) that doubtless others would find perplexing, pretentious & ultimately depressing but which can provide occasional genuine insights into the signals that people send through their apparel (whether consciously or not).
    He always cites the example of his Dad (now in his mid 80s) who curses brands & folks’ ‘gullibility’ but who has always sworn by Rohan, Tog24 & Brasher boots for example. My pal delights in teasing his puritanical Dad’s inconsistencies.
    But the brand thing can give very accurate shorthand such as when I attended an outdoorsy event & described the attendees as ‘more Rab & Patagonia & Merrell than North Face’ & he got the picture instantly. He always says that as somebody on a very low income if he wants to project his ‘Middle Classness’ he just wears his Rab waterproof, which ‘works every time’ apparently.
    I’m not a logo person at all but through our chats have come to realise that there are some brands I wouldn’t be seen dead in (Adidas, Fila, Ellesse, Nike, Umbro for example) & the semiotics (get him!) of that project as much as the stuff I do like – (my daughters were literally fighting over 2 old 90s Champion sweatshirts of mine they discovered in a wardrobe after the brand’s revival a couple of years ago).
    The other notable thing is how the cache or associations of brands can fluctuate wildly , so that Helly Hansen for example, once the beloved smelly base layer of outdoor types became a ram raiders favourite & then started producing jackets with massive logos on them to court that market. Similarly, North Face is now regarded as decidedly déclassé & basic when once it was very big with the hill walking set & a Fjallraven day pack is a an essential to be in with the sensitive, climate conscious undergrad crowd.
    Personally, you’re welcome at mine in anything from Barbour & Hunter wellies to Armani glasses or DMs & Trespass but I do draw the line at Burberry or Stone Island.

  23. Schöffel on a gilet label

    Or more specifically, the twerps who will pay £150 for a gilet of that brand, when a perfectly good one that looks almost identical and has the exact same functionality can be had for less than a third of that price from brands that have no such cachet of contemptible self-entitlement. They are the de-facto uniform of the country sports and equestrian worlds in the UK, and at the big outdoor events of any British summer you’ll see a majority of attendees accordingly toeing the tribal line. Anyone who can waste £100 on a clothing item like that when half the world is either starving or living in fear deserves nothing but disdain.

    • welcome to life in the Cotswolds … also anything by Fairfax and Favour seen around Cirencester and de rigeur at Badminton horse trials and Cheltenham races

      • Hah! Obviously you have discerned that Foxy Towers’ geographical location exposes me to the very worst brand snobbery in the country! No Sports direct trainers or trackies round this neck of the woods. Speaking of necks, shamaghs are cool – I have a few – but they don’t carry brand labels so get a free pass. Shame Ben Fogglywobbler always wears one though – the posho drop-out look is rivalling the posho ya-ya these days.

        Only a month to Badders now; the village streets will soon be awash with top-of-the-range SUVs, black labs and tweed. And Schöffels.

        To be fair to Fairfax and Favor, they are at least hard workers (albeit posh boys with all the support that brings) who flog goods made in Europe, not just Chinese tat.

  24. What I like: evidence of my impeccable maturity, taste, properly-attuned sense of value for money, class.

    What you like: evidence of your regrettable frivolity, tackiness, cheapness/profligacy, lack of class.

    • Brands built by clever knobheads who unfortunately know exactly how many dim knobheads there are out there who like to think themselves cool and will buy overpriced garments that are actually cheapo clothes made in third world sweatshops from synthetic materials at knock down prices, as long as they have some gibberish that looks like Japanese – but often isn’t – printed on them at rakish angles. Sad old world, innit?

  26. The whole “thing” of Brands has been out of hand since the ’80s. It’s just Stuff and not anywhere close to important. Except to the people hoping to empty our wallets.

    • Mrs F and I went to Cuba for an overlander-style “adventure” holiday around the turn of the century. There were no adverts, because there was nothing to buy.

      After a few days our brains reset to the new normal, but flying back to Madrid airport was overwhelming – adverts everywhere.

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