This thread may fall flat on its arse, or someone point out a thread from six years on the same topic. Coming across a reference to Terry Jacks number one of 1974 in a novel, and being aged nine at the time, I was the perfect age to run around the playground singing this version:
We had joy We had fun
We flicked bogies in the sun
But the sun was too hot
And the bogies turned to snot.
Your playground versions of pop songs (not hymns, Mrs Moles tried to interpolate We three kings of Orient Are/One on a bicycle one on a car etc into the discussion). It’s actually quite hard to google which is a good sign for a thread, but I did come up with a cracker based on Hermann’s Hermits Sunshine Girl which is in the comments.
Bogies In The Sun – playground versions of pop songs
by 30 Comments
Sunshine Girl I’m looking down your bra
I see two round things I wonder what they are
Will you invite me,
to squeeze them tightly –
Not bloody likely!
My Sunshine Girl!
🎵 Georgie Best – superstar!
Looks like a woman and he wears a bra.
The bra’s too big, he wears a wig,
And that’s why they call him a sexy pig. 🎵
And referring back to the OP, the return bus from swimming/athletics completions would usually work the opponents’ names into Seasons in the Sun. To give an example,
🎵 We had joy, we had fun,
We had Randolph on the run,
But the joy didn’t last
‘Cos the bastards swam too fast. 🎵
Our version was:
Georgie Best – Superstar!
Wears frilly knickers and a playtex bra.
Also, from a few years ago, Viz Comic Letters Page worked out that you can happily sing ‘
Fuck off you fucking bastard, fuck off you fucking twat!
I said fuck off you fucking bastard, fuck off you fucking twat
Over and over again to the Match Of The Day theme tune. Try it.
Ok that’s now stuck in my head for the day. Thanks!!
No need.
On a similar note, the next time you hear the Ghostbusters song – replace it with “Those Bastards!” and you won’t be able to hear anything else ever again.
Oh, very good! That’s it from now on. I must tell my daughter this one.
The further adventures of Georgie:
Georgie Best, Superstar
Went down the hill on a Yamaha
Did a skid, hit a kid
Smashed his balls on a dustbin lid
No Hymns … are Carols allowed?
Jingle Bells, Batman smells
Robin flew away
The batmobile lost a wheel
on the M1 motorway
“Relax! Don’t do it! Pick your nose and chew it!” Massively popular where I grew up.
Hey Mickey what a pity you dont understand
You’ve got a rubber johnny and its like a rubber band
What larks we had. We probably weren’t entirely sure what a rubber johnny was.
Stingo’s finest:
I hope my knob don’t break, w@nking on the moon.
Nothing to do with George Best. At school ours was:
Jesus Christ Superstar
Burning down the road in a Jag-u-ar
Cops are there, he don’t care
He’s got bullet-proof underwear
When I die, bury me
Hang my balls on a cherry tree
When they’re ripe
Take a bite
Don’t blame me if you’re sick all night.
I am 53.
53 here and out local variant was:
Jesus Christ, Superstar
Riding down the road on his Yamaha
Cops were there, he don’t care
‘Cause he’s wearing supersonic underwear.
I was reminded of this old classic only the other week. Needless to say*, I couldn’t find any examples on the Web
“How many times
Have you ever had it off
In an English country gar-er-den?
Once in the flowerbed
Twice in the garden shed
Thrice in a place that you’re never thinking of.
Have you ever had it off
With Karpov
In an English country gar-er-den?”
* I had the last laugh
English Country Garden was also the bed for the schoolboy singalong…
What do you do if you want to do a poo in an English country garden
Dig a little pit and fill it up with ..
The Campfire sing- song of the 1980s Scout movement would have Baden Powell spinning in his grave
The second line was ‘pull down your pants and fertilise the plants’ at my school.
For us it was pull down your pants and suffocate the ants.
Another schoolboy favourite, though not a song:
Q: Have you got TB and VD?
A: No!!
Q: You mean you haven’t got two balls and a vertical dangler?
It must be a full half century since those words were last uttered in a Worcestershire prep school playground.
To the tune of Colonel Bogey(?)
# Hitler! Has only got one ball
The other
Is in the Albert Hall
His mother –
she was a bugger!
She cut it off when he was small#
Himmler
Is somewhat similar
And Goebbels
Has no balls
At all
That’s the version I know.
In Glasgow it was the Kelvin Hall to protect local pride.
Happy Birthday to you
I went to the zoo
I saw a fat monkey
And I thought it was you
Germans don’t have a direct translation for the birthday song. Well, not quite…
Happi Birsdey tu yew
Marmelade im Schuh
Aprikose in der Hose
Und eine Bratwurst dazu
The boy stood on the burning deck
And picked his nose like mad
He rolled it up in little balls
And threw them at his dad
I’m surprised no-one has yet mentioned the only hit by Frigid Pink, at least in the UK, so memorably reprised by Bananarama, for second generation laughs…
Altogether now! “Aaaaaaa, I”m yer….. etc
“Bröderna bröderna bröderna bröderna Cartwright!
Bröderna bröderna bröderna bröderna bröderna bröderna Bröd
Lille Jo[e]
sköt en sko
mitt i huvet på en ko!
Bröderna…(first two lines repeated)
To the theme tune from Bonanza.
“Det var en gång en apa
som inte kunde rapa
Och när han inte rapa
så skala’ han banan
Skala banan! (snap fingers x 2)
Skala banan! (snap twice again)
Skala banan, skala banan, skala banan”
To The Addams Family theme tune.
Those are the only two Swedish ones I can remember. The first one at least is about the TV series, (“Brothers Cartwright, Brothers Bread, Little Joe shot a shoe at a cow’s head”) but the second one is completely random (“There was once a monkey who couldn’t burp, and when he didn’t burp, he peeled bananas”). A distinct lack of snot and poo-jokes!
And both used very old theme tunes (although always in reruns on Swedish TV at the time).
There must have been others, but these are the ones still stuck in my memory.
@locust. Those long winter nights…
It just looks like a page out of the Ikea catalog to me. If you put that lot together, you get a wardrobe.
Psst! If you go through that wardrobe, you’ll end up in Narnia…or possibly Skövde…I can’t remember.
All I recall is hearing a racist version of Boney M’s ‘Brown Girl in the Ring’ at primary school, though the George Best stuff rings a vague bell. Also, a lavatorial version of the advert jingle for ‘Wrigley’s spearmint gum, gum, gum…’