Like most of people on this blog, I’m British. As something of a music ‘geek’, I’m happiest on my own with a set of headphones clamped to my head. No wonder I’m socially withdrawn and have few friends. I have a stiff upper lip and I am uncomfortable with praise. There is zero chance of me being boastful.
Looking back on my life, I can only reflect that my reluctance to blow my own trumpet (ooh-er, missus) (see, I have to make a joke about it to lesson its impact) has not served me well. Americans seem to have no problem showing off. Donald Trump is an expert boaster, never knowingly underselling himself, he simply makes up stuff to boast about and look where he is today.
I was impressed with Gwendoline Christie (Ser Brienne in Game Of Thrones). Her TV company, HBO failed to nominate her for an Emmy award as Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series, so she stumped up the $225 fee and nominated herself. She was a shortlisted finalist and had to buy a new frock and show off on Instagram.
I figure we need to do more of this sort of thing. According to Boris, we Brits are brilliant traders, held back by those miserable Europeans. As a nation, it’s time to blow our own trumpets more.
I, personally, am a wonderful listener. I listen to music superbly and actually pay attention to what people are saying (except at home with family, of course – I pay them no heed whatsoever). My magical listening ability is essential for my work and has helped me get to where I am today. It also means that the few friends I have are really close ones. You can share anything with me. I’m excellent at keeping secrets, too. You are quite safe, I guarantee it.
While Afterworders ponder their special gifts and abilities to describe in all their glory on this inevitably overflowing hamper of a thread, here’s a piece of music. It’s a song performed by the most important member of the greatest pop group that has ever existed. I’m sure you’ll like it.
I’m The Greatest.