Cockney Rejects. Career choices was football, boxing or music.
They chose music (or a variant of *) but were also handy boxers.
And they knew the twins, and they were at Violet’s funeral
* I like the Rejects and there are actually toons under the cacophony
The Wu Tang Clan. At one stage the FBI were seeking to bring RICO charges against them for ” the sale of drugs, illegal guns, weapons possession, murder, carjackings, and other types of violent crimes”. They are, reportedly, nuthin ta fuck wit.
I think the guy from Tool is a black belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu, and once choked out a stage invader while continuing to sing.
There are a lot of Slipknot, some of them are pretty big and I seem to recall at least half of them are a bit handy.
MC Hammer is built like a brick outhouse, reportedly hangs out with a lot of ex-navy guys and is meant to be someone who responds badly to you touching this.
I have it on very good authority that the UK rapper Giggs got his start in the industry partly because he scared the crap out of an awful lot of people. Not some you’d want to meet in a well lit alley, let alone a dark one.
Rose Tattoo. I remember going to see them at the (old Wardour St) Marquee and they scared the bloody life out of me. They just looked rough as fuck, not like the usual pantywaists you see up on stage.
If weapons were allowed, I’m with Moose on the Boo-Ya Tribe. If they weren’t tooled up though, I’m not sure I’d fancy their chances quite so much.
No, the BYT are old-school – very into martial arts and wrestling. They were/are basically a kind of survivalist cult with a sideline in funky music. Word.
I heard Angus offer out the entire drunken back rows of the theatre when a beer glass bounced off the neck of his SG when I saw them play. He meant it. They went quiet. The band played on.
The only band I’ve seen (may have been going to the wrong gigs) where there was an actual proper punch-up in the audience. Feline tour Manchester Apollo. Maybe someone was in the stalls in the melee?
This seemed par for the course for Stranglers gigs …
The lairiest gig I’ve ever attended – admittedly, I don’t go looking for them – was, of all places, Cambridge Folk Festival. The Levellers. There were human pyramids of alcoholic instability making lurchsome progress towards the stage, but with intent.
The only time I’ve seen The Levellers was at Folk by the Oak a couple of years ago. We were close to the stage but to one side when we noticed a steady stream of people passing us as they escaped from the centre. The reason was that a few hardocre Lev’s fans were doing their best to start a moshpit/general melee. Chadwick had to tell them off from the stage. ‘You’re at a folk festival surrounded by kids and people are scared of you! Chill out for fucks sake!’
Surprising, given that – as Richey Edwards once said – “you could go to any Levellers concert, shout “Jeremy” and 75% of the audience would turn around“.
I disagree on that one. Dee Snider is a gentle, no-cuss-words, bible bothering, totally sober, drug-free, early to bed early to rise family man. Nothing wrong with any of that but he’d be useless in a fight. Too easy going.
Wasn’t always like that though. TS has about 7 years of playing dives in Long Island before they made a record, never mind becoming successful. While wearing make-up. They’re a good call.
The no swearing must be new? Post Twisted Sister he formed a band called the Sick Mutha Fuckers. He would routinely lead potty mouth chants on stage. His autobiography is a riot, and he would (according to him) wade into any auidence to “set straight” anyone he felt needed it. I’d be happy to hold his coat.
I remember him being a very good interviewee in the 80s. Zappa was uncharacteristically impressed with his turn at the PMRC hearings. Twisted Sister were shit, but hey you can’t have everything.
Dee is a bright guy but certainly took no prisoners if things got out of hand. There’s also Mark (The Animal) Mendoza as backup, along with the other guys. Saw them a few times back in the day and they certainly looked like the real deal.
You sense both the Beatles and Stones would’ve been pretty useless in a fight. The original lineup of Dr Feelgood, though…let’s just say I wouldn’t have spilled their pint.
It’s hard to imagine little Jeremy Spencer being in any way useful in a scuffle, unless perhaps he was sitting on Mick Fleetwood’s shoulders, and had all his tooled-up Children of God mates with him.
Retro, I am surprised you didn’t mention this – the story of how immaculately dressed George Melly confounded his attackers outside Band on the Wall using the well known ‘dadaist chant’ defence.
Bananarama. I once saw them do over Siouxsie and The Banshees behind the bins outside Dingwall’s. Siobhan waded in first, hair immaculately tousled throughout, and Sara was garrotting Budgie with the straps of her dungarees, but it was Keren… My God, the anger, the whole unhinged fury of it. Talk about banshees. They never stood a chance. It’s always the quiet one you have to watch out for.
The Polyphonic Spree? Who knows how ‘tasty’ they are, but if thirty-odd pile out of a large white van, the odds have got to be in their favour. Plenty of scope for ‘hidden-carry’ under those robes, too.
I offended Henry Rollins from the mosh pit at one of his boisterous shows. Some good-natured banter about his mother backfired somewhat. He was steaming mad at me but I figured it’s all part of the theatre of the thing so I wasn’t worried.
As I left the venue, I felt a presence behind me. Within a second, there was a hand over my mouth and I was expertly bundled into an alleyway, away from the crowd. Standing in front of me was Henry and he was very, very angry. Gulp!
“You wanna piece of me, huh ?” (shoves my shoulder)
Huh? Huh?! …Tough guy? (shoves my shoulder again) wassamata? Cat got your tongue?”
I said “Er…funny you should say that Henry, because there’s a cat just there behind you. Perhaps it’s seen a mouse…?”
Henry’s colour drained from his face.
“ A m-m-m-mouse?!” and then squealed the most high-pitched squeal I have ever heard. He jumped into my arms in exactly the same manner that Scooby Doo does with Shaggy (or the other way round).
I cradled Henry as he trembled. He instinctively plunged his thumb into his mouth, to calm himself down. I stroked his hair, saying “shhh…shhh…” and his sobs eventually became further apart. He had one final anxious look around, dismounted and started to strut confidently away.
“Henry…” I said
He turned round, his piercing eyes still bloodshot. “WHAT?” his rage seemed to be building once more.
“There was no cat. There was no mouse.”
Henry smiled broadly. “I know, man…I know”.
With that, he disappeared into the night.
I’d heard he was a complicated character, but blimey.
All joking aside, the real answer is probably the Prisonaires. Older readers, or people with access to Wikipedia, will know that they were led by Johnny Bragg convicted at the age of 17 six charges of rape. Other members were Ed Thurman and William Stewart (both doing 99 years for murder), John Drue Jr. (three years for larceny) and Marcell Sanders (one-to-five for involuntary manslaughter).
I have to say, as much as they seem like lovely chaps, I’d hesitate to cheek Iron Maiden too egregiously. Steve, Dave and Nicko between them seem like they’d take care of business while Janick and Bruce farted around discussing Andre Gide in the next room.
Some 43 years ago I played on the same bill as The Pirates. After their soundcheck, we asked if we could move their microphones a bit. ‘No’ came the answer. Mick Green was a big lad who’d been around a bit. Frank Farley was even bigger and had worked as a bouncer. But the really scary one was little Johnny Spence, a man who looked like he would break your fingers for fun. The microphones stayed put.
Apparently, John Weller, Paul Weller’s Dad, was a pretty handy guy for the Jam to have as their manager. He’d been a useful boxer in his youth (winning the Armed Forces boxing championship), and never took any nonsense from promoters, etc.
Mayhem.
Thin Lizzy ca. Fighting LP…
…too “on the nose”?
Almost precisely.
‘…I kick your face
You’d soon be seein’ double’
The Rocker
The Polyphonic Spree, obviously. There are about 20 of them.
Clever clever… thinking outside the box! I like it.
Boo-Yaa Tribe. End of thread.
Make the All-Blacks look like Felt.
UB40. Nails.
UB40 Nails.
A new Screwfix product?
Ideal for those 1 in 10 jobs.
A rat-tat-tat in me kitchen.
They’re not glue babe
Cockney Rejects. Career choices was football, boxing or music.
They chose music (or a variant of *) but were also handy boxers.
And they knew the twins, and they were at Violet’s funeral
* I like the Rejects and there are actually toons under the cacophony
“They were lovely boys. They used to buy their mother flowers ‘n that…’
The Wu Tang Clan. At one stage the FBI were seeking to bring RICO charges against them for ” the sale of drugs, illegal guns, weapons possession, murder, carjackings, and other types of violent crimes”. They are, reportedly, nuthin ta fuck wit.
I think the guy from Tool is a black belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu, and once choked out a stage invader while continuing to sing.
There are a lot of Slipknot, some of them are pretty big and I seem to recall at least half of them are a bit handy.
MC Hammer is built like a brick outhouse, reportedly hangs out with a lot of ex-navy guys and is meant to be someone who responds badly to you touching this.
I have it on very good authority that the UK rapper Giggs got his start in the industry partly because he scared the crap out of an awful lot of people. Not some you’d want to meet in a well lit alley, let alone a dark one.
So you’re saying that you wouldn’t want to break it down with MC Hammer?
Stop.
Hammer is always going to have to fight – it’s not as if he can leg it wearing them keks.
Nooo, wrong response! Maybe my comment was too subtle?
STOP….
It was very good, Arthur. Today’s tea/keyboard moment.
HAMMERTIME!
Giggs is a bit handy, as his women unfortunately keep discovering
allegedly
Jo Boxers although they’d all be knocking on a bit by now
Won a lot of fights in their time, granted, but it wasn’t skill – they just got lucky..
C’mon everyone!
Let’s acknowledge this⬆️
I was going to say they are back, but the November gig up the road from me has been cancelled so maybe not.
@Gatz
Maybe they’re fighting off heavy colds
Rose Tattoo. I remember going to see them at the (old Wardour St) Marquee and they scared the bloody life out of me. They just looked rough as fuck, not like the usual pantywaists you see up on stage.
If weapons were allowed, I’m with Moose on the Boo-Ya Tribe. If they weren’t tooled up though, I’m not sure I’d fancy their chances quite so much.
No, the BYT are old-school – very into martial arts and wrestling. They were/are basically a kind of survivalist cult with a sideline in funky music. Word.
John Martyn and Danny Thompson would be the obvious choice, only two of them but hard as nails and slightly unhinged.
Or maybe the original three-piece Motorhead.
Remember they replaced Fast Eddie with Brian Robertson. Not exactly gentrification.
John Martyn was indeed well hard when it came to knocking poor Beverley about
This is the correct answer. Acca/ dacca would also not fuck around.
I heard Angus offer out the entire drunken back rows of the theatre when a beer glass bounced off the neck of his SG when I saw them play. He meant it. They went quiet. The band played on.
Stranglers, JJ Burnell a karate or judo black belt
Jet Black – the dead eyes of a professional killer.
Yep, I was gonna choose the Stranglers. And I’ll stand behind JJ.
The only band I’ve seen (may have been going to the wrong gigs) where there was an actual proper punch-up in the audience. Feline tour Manchester Apollo. Maybe someone was in the stalls in the melee?
This seemed par for the course for Stranglers gigs …
The lairiest gig I’ve ever attended – admittedly, I don’t go looking for them – was, of all places, Cambridge Folk Festival. The Levellers. There were human pyramids of alcoholic instability making lurchsome progress towards the stage, but with intent.
The only time I’ve seen The Levellers was at Folk by the Oak a couple of years ago. We were close to the stage but to one side when we noticed a steady stream of people passing us as they escaped from the centre. The reason was that a few hardocre Lev’s fans were doing their best to start a moshpit/general melee. Chadwick had to tell them off from the stage. ‘You’re at a folk festival surrounded by kids and people are scared of you! Chill out for fucks sake!’
Surprising, given that – as Richey Edwards once said – “you could go to any Levellers concert, shout “Jeremy” and 75% of the audience would turn around“.
Jeff Skunk Baxter – he could call in a missile strike if things got a bit hairy.
Nazareth. Alex Harvey.
Probably any Scottish rock band in their 1970’s heyday. They had to overcompensate for the Bay City Rollers and Slik.
Twisted ‘Fucking’ Sister
I disagree on that one. Dee Snider is a gentle, no-cuss-words, bible bothering, totally sober, drug-free, early to bed early to rise family man. Nothing wrong with any of that but he’d be useless in a fight. Too easy going.
Wasn’t always like that though. TS has about 7 years of playing dives in Long Island before they made a record, never mind becoming successful. While wearing make-up. They’re a good call.
The no swearing must be new? Post Twisted Sister he formed a band called the Sick Mutha Fuckers. He would routinely lead potty mouth chants on stage. His autobiography is a riot, and he would (according to him) wade into any auidence to “set straight” anyone he felt needed it. I’d be happy to hold his coat.
I remember him being a very good interviewee in the 80s. Zappa was uncharacteristically impressed with his turn at the PMRC hearings. Twisted Sister were shit, but hey you can’t have everything.
Dee is a bright guy but certainly took no prisoners if things got out of hand. There’s also Mark (The Animal) Mendoza as backup, along with the other guys. Saw them a few times back in the day and they certainly looked like the real deal.
Kraftwerk – they could tool up their non-meat surrogates as terminators..
… and hack into your email. What do you think they’re doing with those laptops? Plugging themselves into the future, that’s what.
Ralf has spent 98% of his life cycling and has hams of titanium. He is also totally inscrutable. He’d be charging to his victory in no time.
You sense both the Beatles and Stones would’ve been pretty useless in a fight. The original lineup of Dr Feelgood, though…let’s just say I wouldn’t have spilled their pint.
Dr Feelgood are an outstanding shout. They had the look of four men who would still be kicking you long after you were medically dead.
I’m voting for this.
Wilko remarked that Lee was the boss directing the violence whilst he was the one putting the boot in.
Yep – this wins the white carnation…
Lee would still have the rusty splotches of your blood on his white suit months later.
Completely different band, but I think Holly Johnson would have the same role – standing back cackling while The Lads went, in trainees first.
Rage Hard….
Oh yeah. Well ‘ard.
“We’re the hamheads who put the boot in..”
Earl Vince and the Valiants.
It’s hard to imagine little Jeremy Spencer being in any way useful in a scuffle, unless perhaps he was sitting on Mick Fleetwood’s shoulders, and had all his tooled-up Children of God mates with him.
he could give you a nasty headbutt in the balls though
It looks like Mr Fleetwood was training Mr Spencer in how to take on an assailant.
“Go for the balls”
“Those” reappeared later on the cover of Rumours.
Different Macs, same knacks.
The Specials. Maybe not Terry, though.
Terry would just fold his arms and glower.
Foo Fighters, or poo fighters? Reader, you decide.
Billy and The Bollocks.
Ned Bollock was bigger than Tim Bollock – which is nature’s way.
Elton John…’e’s well up for a ruckus on a weekend dahn Pinner way.
That fella in Nine Inch Nails looks a bit handy…..
Retro, I am surprised you didn’t mention this – the story of how immaculately dressed George Melly confounded his attackers outside Band on the Wall using the well known ‘dadaist chant’ defence.
Fümms bö wö tää zää Uu,
pögiff,
kwii Ee. 1
Oooooooooooooooooooooooo, 6
dll rrrrr beeeee bö
dll rrrrr beeeee bö fümms bö, (A)
rrrrr beeeee bö fümms bö wö,
beeeee bö fümms bö wö tää,
bö fümms bö wö tää zää,
fümms bö wö tää zää Uu:
About quarter past three.
The Pirates. Ruffianly, scurvy sea dogs.
Roger Chapman – a genuinely frightening man.
Armed with his microphone stand.
Imagine you’ve just picked a fight with Iggy Pop!
He’d grab a bottle by the neck and smash it on the bar in the time honoured fashion then he’d start gouging away with it at his own chest!
That’s when you’d say, ” Ahhh…..never mind.” and back out of the room.
..before he got his cock out..
If he gets his old chap out, your doomed. As he noted once, he has a 10 inch cock plus a genius iq. So you can’t even win the argument.
You know people disparagingly say, “He’s got his brains in his pants”…if this was literally true in Iggy’s case it would explain everything.
Bananarama. I once saw them do over Siouxsie and The Banshees behind the bins outside Dingwall’s. Siobhan waded in first, hair immaculately tousled throughout, and Sara was garrotting Budgie with the straps of her dungarees, but it was Keren… My God, the anger, the whole unhinged fury of it. Talk about banshees. They never stood a chance. It’s always the quiet one you have to watch out for.
Robert De Niro wasn’t waiting on that occasion, during that particularly cruel summer.
Sham 69? @Colin-H
Nah – Jimmy Pusey would just do that interpretive dance thing.
This ain’t bleedin’ West Side Story, you toilit!
BAFF!
Just reading about Memphis Minnie in Mojo, I don’t think you’d have wanted to cross her.
Bessie Smith – she’d biff a rhino if it gave her a dirty look.
Biffa Rhino, was that a try out by the Beano before plumping for Biffo the Bear?
If only Bessie had used Rhi-No!©
Or dressed as Biffo the Bear.
Fishbone. Angelo Moore is an absolute head-the-ball, Alex De Large with a saxophone.
Lynyrd Skynyrd were handy back in the day.
Surely you wouldn’t want to bump into Los Lobos in some dodgy back alley in East L.A. …?
https://www.antiwarsongs.org/do_search.php?idartista=1145&lang=en&stesso=1
The Polyphonic Spree? Who knows how ‘tasty’ they are, but if thirty-odd pile out of a large white van, the odds have got to be in their favour. Plenty of scope for ‘hidden-carry’ under those robes, too.
No. Lath-thin hippies prancing about in their mams’ bedsheets. Soft as shite.
Significantly less than the sum of their parts, which coincidentally also describes their musical output to a t, bless em.
That’s what they might have said about the Manson Family too.
I offended Henry Rollins from the mosh pit at one of his boisterous shows. Some good-natured banter about his mother backfired somewhat. He was steaming mad at me but I figured it’s all part of the theatre of the thing so I wasn’t worried.
As I left the venue, I felt a presence behind me. Within a second, there was a hand over my mouth and I was expertly bundled into an alleyway, away from the crowd. Standing in front of me was Henry and he was very, very angry. Gulp!
“You wanna piece of me, huh ?” (shoves my shoulder)
Huh? Huh?! …Tough guy? (shoves my shoulder again) wassamata? Cat got your tongue?”
I said “Er…funny you should say that Henry, because there’s a cat just there behind you. Perhaps it’s seen a mouse…?”
Henry’s colour drained from his face.
“ A m-m-m-mouse?!” and then squealed the most high-pitched squeal I have ever heard. He jumped into my arms in exactly the same manner that Scooby Doo does with Shaggy (or the other way round).
I cradled Henry as he trembled. He instinctively plunged his thumb into his mouth, to calm himself down. I stroked his hair, saying “shhh…shhh…” and his sobs eventually became further apart. He had one final anxious look around, dismounted and started to strut confidently away.
“Henry…” I said
He turned round, his piercing eyes still bloodshot. “WHAT?” his rage seemed to be building once more.
“There was no cat. There was no mouse.”
Henry smiled broadly. “I know, man…I know”.
With that, he disappeared into the night.
I’d heard he was a complicated character, but blimey.
Los Lobos. Not sure they would start trouble, but always looked like they would bring any to a swift conclusion.
Will the wolf survive?
Yes, but you won’t, pal.
Excellent suggestion.
All joking aside, the real answer is probably the Prisonaires. Older readers, or people with access to Wikipedia, will know that they were led by Johnny Bragg convicted at the age of 17 six charges of rape. Other members were Ed Thurman and William Stewart (both doing 99 years for murder), John Drue Jr. (three years for larceny) and Marcell Sanders (one-to-five for involuntary manslaughter).
I have to say, as much as they seem like lovely chaps, I’d hesitate to cheek Iron Maiden too egregiously. Steve, Dave and Nicko between them seem like they’d take care of business while Janick and Bruce farted around discussing Andre Gide in the next room.
“La Porte Étroite” is his masterpiece”
“No it sodding well isn’t!”
Some 43 years ago I played on the same bill as The Pirates. After their soundcheck, we asked if we could move their microphones a bit. ‘No’ came the answer. Mick Green was a big lad who’d been around a bit. Frank Farley was even bigger and had worked as a bouncer. But the really scary one was little Johnny Spence, a man who looked like he would break your fingers for fun. The microphones stayed put.
How about Sparks? Hmm.
I once saw a fight in the audience at a Sparks gig at the Lowry Theatre. A Sparks gig!
I bet Ron started it.
Good call!
I imagine that both combatants were claiming that the Lowry Theatre wasn’t big enough for the both of them…
@duco01
Grrrr, why didn’t I think of that one!?
Mark Lanegan. If you dared ask him.
I recall Roy Harper threatening to bite a member of the audience’s balls off if he continued talking.
I would think half the Afterword would be queuing up to hold Roy’s coat.
Killing Joke or Parliament or (for the Irish vote) Republic of Loose. Now there’s a streetwise bunch of ruffians.
Apparently, John Weller, Paul Weller’s Dad, was a pretty handy guy for the Jam to have as their manager. He’d been a useful boxer in his youth (winning the Armed Forces boxing championship), and never took any nonsense from promoters, etc.
Senanda Maitreya was a Golden Gloves-level boxer in his Army stint, so it would be wise to wish him well.
The Fall.
There’s 66 of them.
And all dead hard according to MES. Well, when they were in the band anyway.