Warning, one big old wall of text incoming….
It’s Bearded time again. We are onsite and tent up by 12pm on Wednesday, ready for five solid days of music and somewhat ruing the effort and weight involved in packing all those warm clothes and wet weather gear, because my word does it turn out to be a hot one.
Wednesday is a small kick off, a few bands in the woodland. The first up was Cara Means Friend, a bedreaded (white) woman with a guitar singing about the system while stage left a soporific chap sat down and plonked out some simple basslines. Unfortunately all I could think of was Hannah’s Field, although I could not share this insight with my mate as he is normal and doesn’t go on internet deep dives for terrible music. Meryl Streek up next was much better, much more convincingly angry and political. First time I’ve seen him with a live drummer, and all the better for it. I was quite looking forward to Jools, as Hassle Records can usually spot a decent band, but that excitement wore off pretty quickly. Next up was Lucia And The Best Boys, who need detain us no longer. EMF were the final band. Yeah, that EMF. And they were absolutely fantastic. They knew exactly what people wanted, no “here’s one off the new album”, just the small hit, the slightly bigger hit, and the massive hit, alongside a medley of 90s rave bangers. They played with so much joy and energy, and were a brilliant way to finish up the night. And no, I can’t believe I’m writing that in 2026 either.
Thursday is still officially a warm up day and not the real start, but it seemed that almost who was going to turn up was there by lunchtime, and although not every stage was open, it was very busy. We caught Meatdripper, who I enjoyed a lot, some nice big sludgy doomy riffs. Went to see Native James after that, based on his description in the programme as an alternative rap artist who mixed up influences from punk, hiphop, metal and grime. That sounds pretty good right? It is entirely on me that I didn’t twig this would mean he sounded very much like Limp Bizkit. Went down really well with the crowd though, and he seemed delighted with the reception, so fair play. Had a long run on the main stage after that, starting with An Dannsa Dub who combined Gaelic folk with digidub. Pretty hmmm, to be honest. I am all for some creative sampling and that, but if you’re performing a song that has sung words from start to finish then it seems a bit off to me to fly in the entire vocal track in a way that it wouldn’t if you were just using the hook. Perhaps I am just an old fuddy-duddy. Split Dogs are always fun, but as a local (to me) band I’ve seen them loads already. A Certain Ratio did not enthrall me at all, and South Africa’s BCUC were okay but their percussion heavy sound did get samey very quickly. If they’d had 30 minutes instead of 45 I’d likely have been a lot more enthusiastic afterwards. Big Special were one of the most popular shirts I saw throughout the festival, so no surprises that they got a large and enthusiastic crowd. Enjoyed them, a little bit like a Sleaford Mods who aren’t absolutely dreadful, but not running out to buy any of their records. We skipped Lambrini Girls and went back to the Woodland to see The Unthanks. They were tremendous, just piano, violin and harmony vocals. Completely enrapturing, best set of the day I reckon. Rounded the night off with a little dance to The Beatles Dub Club at Big Ed.
Adult DVD were an excellent kickstart to Friday, on first on the second stage. Huge crowd, massively exciting tunes and a big jolt of energy, one of the bands of the festival for me. Taylor More Swiftly on the Woodland are Taylor Swift tunes played as pop-punk bangers. These things have a risk of being a bit sneery, but they were clearly fans and loved the songs, just wanted to play them 300% faster with lots more distortion. Good fun, as was Pop Will Eat Itself back in the tent. I will go to my grave maintaining that the Poppies were years ahead of their time, but it seems that I am still waiting for the critical consensus to catch up with me on that one. Tried Chalk next, but their electrogoth industrial sound was horribly out of place in a woodland setting on one of hottest and sunniest days in ages. The Sabres Of Paradise were next, and were the act of the entire five days for me. I never thought I’d hear any of these tunes live, so seeing them at all was a treat, no matter that they have put together an amazing live band, rows of electronics and percussion along the back with a bass player standing alone at the front doing his best Paul Simenon. Glorious, from the trumpet skank of Wilmot, the brassy stomp of Theme and finishing on an extended rip through Smokebelch, patterned after the David Holmes mix. They were phenomenal. Back to the main stage, and I can now say I have seen The Damned, which was always bit of a gap for me. They’ve veered into a strange sort of music hall punk, somewhere off doing their own thing while the rest of the world carries on. I must say Dave Vanian is very dapper, well done Dave. A quick blast of King Prawn’s righteously angry ska punk in the woods before getting to the tent to see the last forty five minutes or so of Getdown Services. It baffles me that anyone could watch them and not find them really funny and hugely enjoyable, just a really good natured good time.
Flipping heck, I’ve been typing for ages and I’ve still only reached Saturday lunchtime. Henge’s intergalactic schtick is as massively entertaining as ever. I saw loads of little kids wearing their tie dye logo shirts later on, and amused myself by thinking that in about ten years, those kids are suddenly going to stop what they’re doing, look up, and go “Hang on, that was all about drugs!”. Warmduscher next are okay, but a poor second to Adult DVD in the heavily dance infused indie act stakes. Toots And The Maytals next it says in the programme, which is some feat considering that Toots has been dead for five years and there was not a single Maytal on stage. It’s actually Toots’ daughter singing his classics. They are some great great songs, but the band are a bit too slick and lounge. I imagine there’s an act very much like this performing nightly in every tourist resort in Jamaica. I was a bit concerned about Idlewild, and if they would land with a main stage teatime crowd in the blazing sun. They were magnificent though, went to all the highlights of their catalogue and even found room for A Film For The Future. They are treasures and we should be more grateful for them. Back to the dark and (relative) cool of the tent for Heartworms, who has been channeling Kate Bush even more than when I saw her last year. I really like her goth / industrial / pop mix, a good set. Back on the main stage, CMAT predictably draws a huge crowd. She’s very charismatic and hugely entertaining, I just don’t think she’s got all that many decent songs. Basically the anti-Pixies, who have one of the great catalogues but just stand in the same spot all set and say nothing between songs. Their set starts incredibly – the first five tracks are Gouge Away, Wave Of Mutilation, Head On, Isla De Encanta and Monkey Gone To Heaven, which every other band on the planet would kill to have as their barnstorming set closing run – but after that the acoustic guitar comes out and there’s a lot of newer material. There are still gems like Where Is My Mind, Nimrod’s Son, Here Comes Your Man and Into The White, but the momentum’s gone. And not playing Debaser is unforgivable.
Sunday comes round and somehow I am still alive despite my blood being 80% Thatchers Gold by this time. Took it a lot easier today, starting with Cowboy Hunters in the Woodland. A lot of fun, confrontational in a tongue in cheek (I think…) way and dressed as wizards. After them come Gans, again in the woods. This went off big time, a big crowd very much up for it and a band obviously having a great time. One of the sets of the festival. A horrible clash between Neville Staple and Scaler next, where I opted for the Specials man, having seen Scaler about five times in the last couple of years. Neville is old now, walking with a cane, having to be helped to the front of the stage and never letting go of his mic stand when he’s there. But what a set of songs, pretty much all the Specials and Fun Boy Three hits you could want and perfect for another super hot and sunny afternoon. Back in the tent for this year’s Transformer slot, which is bit of a cheat in that it’s not an act already at the festival doing the covers as it has been before, but a unique booking for Walpurgis, which is Biffy Clyro’s Mike Vennart and chums doing Black Sabbath. They are very tight, very loud and pretty much note perfect. Happy that Supernaut (Tony Iommi’s greatest riff, fight me) gets an outing but slightly surprised that Black Sabbath itself doesn’t. It’s an hour of Sabbath’s greatest songs, it’s obviously amazing. Last band of the festival for me is The Wildhearts, with their teetering on the edge of chaos but actually super tight punk n roll, big riffs and bigger choruses. And I’m done for another year.
I think this was my fifteenth Bearded, and somehow it keeps getting better. It’s a really punter friendly experience – nothing is very far away from anything else, the veggie and vegan food offerings are really good, there’s a big range of decent beers at not taking the piss prices but they’re totally relaxed about you bringing your own food and booze in, the toilets are as good a festival toilets can be, eight stages all with a distinct identity and loads of good bands, no corporate branding anywhere and the people there are all super chilled with no dickheads. Long may it continue. It was also the fifteenth I’ve done with my mate Tom, who I have known for thirty five years now. It’s a great thing to go and spend five days with your friend(s – usually there are three of us but the other couldn’t make it this year) completely away from any real world distractions, just drinking beer, talking nonsense and sitting in the sun listening to live music. Long may that continue as well.
someone else’s video, who appears to have watched about 30% of the same bands I did
edit to say no idea who that was doing War Pigs, it wasn’t the Sabbath act I mentioned! (They do appear a bit later)
Well jell, @kid-dynamite! As you knew, I had accreditation this year, which would have been my (mere) 6th, but my knees said otherwise, inflating, expanding and igniting in the days leading up to it, unhelped by the new pup yowling and shitting 24/24, something Mrs Path couldn’t manage alone. It sounds a belter, not that many of our tastes convene. next year, maybe. Now I have to get my knees working again before Gate to Southwell and Folk East……….
Magnificent report from the front lines of ear-bleeding perseverance, determination and grit.
I would have loved to have seen Neville Staple giving it all Two-Tone, and Walpurgis sound like a real hoot as well. Most of all I would have appreciated seeing the Sabres Of Paradise do their warped sabresonic thing live!
It’s too damn hot here at the moment to risk putting the Sabres on the stereo, I’d probably get heatstroke if I did, and anyway the next door neighbours are out in the back garden with their toddlers sunning themselves and I don’t want to have them think I hate them.
Fantastic review of what sounds like a fantastic festival. I would absolutely love to see Idlewild in an outdoor setting one more time – one of my all time favourite live acts.
My local rugby club had its annual festival this weekend. Two outdoor stages playing back to back, three or four indoor stages. None of the bands are paid, which means an odd mix of semi accomplished amateur acts doing favours and bands of actual teenagers buzzing to be onstage in front of their over excited mates.
Highlights were the group of super-gothy teenage girls roaring their way through a set of punk covers (bassist with green hair, drummer in a destroyed looking Maiden t-shirt), the band who showed up and performed Pink Pony Club in matching pink stetsons, the group of kids who delivered a passable cover of Black Sheep by Clash at Demonhead from the Scott Pilgrim soundtrack and (perhaps best of all) the band formed of parents from the kids primary school who have over the last few years got legitimately good and delivered a fantastic version of (I shit you not) Pink Floyd’s The Wall with the lyrics from Insane In The Membrane over the top.
An absolutely 10/10 day out, the entire local community showing up to get sloshed and dance around in a field, and lovely to see so many kids getting stuck in onstage. Roll on next year.
What an excellent, very comprehensive review, KID D. So many artists I’ve never heard of that I had to dash off and read more about.
That video was an excellent complement to your written report. much going on and the crowd were obviously enjoying it all a lot.
Getdown Services are a hoot.
Excellent stuff.
Having a campervan on order has started me thinking about going to festivals again. I’d struggle with five days, though.
Yep, one day we’ll go to Latitude in our motorhome. Not this year though.
We were up at the Norfolk coast this weekend when it was stinking hot and mentioned “this is Glastonbury weather”.
Then I remembered the year it was really hot at Glasto, and I spent most of it sitting in the shade of a tree near the hot cider bus. Add in the the aggro for tickets nowadays, and the too many people there now. I think what I really want is a time machine and early-90s Glasto.
Latitude might be just the ticket.
Folk Festivals are the new old Glastonbury! Always friendly, a varied demographic, great music encompassing way way more beyond finger in ear and/or fiddles.
Whilst @thecheshirecat is our real expert, I. can speak highly for Shrewsbury, New Forest, Sidmouth, Wickham, Folk @ the Oak, Bromyard etc. Will be trying out Gate To Southwell in July and Folk East the month after.
Yup. Just had the first of the season at Chester last weekend: a local festival for local people. Off again this weekend for a first visit to Maldon Sea Shanty Festival where, somewhat improbably, I am performing.
Having a campervan at a festival is an absolute game changer @fentonsteve . A few years back I’d completely had my fill of lugging camping gear around, extortionate food prices, disgraceful toilets, and selfish tossers playing bongos at 4 am. A campervan makes for a blissful oasis at a festival.
I can’t wait. Our order is in the factory system but we don’t yet have a date, or even a price.
I can’t wait until I pack in work entirely, either, but that’s another problem.
Bongos at 4 am? Luxury.
You should have been at Glastonbury during the rave years. Selfish tossers – off their faces – with sound systems playing utter shite doof-doof music competing with other selfish tossers – off their faces – with sound systems playing utter shite doof-doof music competing with yet more selfish tossers – off their faces – with sound systems playing utter shite doof-doof music all f*cking night.
Nightmare.
I would have welcomed an assassination squad by about dawn on the Saturday morning.
See also anyone who camped at Silverstone for the Formula 1, and who thought blasting out Fleetwood Mac’s The Chain at 6.30am was top bantz/spiffing wheeze.
Trust me Vulpes , I was at Glastonbury in 1990, (so near the rave years) and it was truly one of the worst experiences of my life! Got badly ripped off for a lift from Shepton Mallet Station after a “friendly farmer” offerred an initially gratis lift, (threatened us with a baseball bat unless we gave him a stupidly large amount) it rained the whole bloody time, hundreds of “cheeky chappy” scally arseholes who’d got in free threatening you if you didn’t buy their drugs, and as you say, awful, awful deafening techno ALL night, and a lot of the day. I’ve never been back to that particular hell as I’ve only just finished the counselling.
I like the sound of Walpurgis, @Kid-Dynamite – Mike Vennart is rapidly turning into the Busiest Man in Showbiz, what with Cardiacs, The Biffys and all his own bands.
As for Pixies – you got to see them: nothing is unforgivable! I went to see them at the SECC in Glasgow, early 1990s: they started playing; the crowd surged; the stage moved; and the gig was cancelled immediately on health & safety grounds.
Half a song…
Another site report – but somewhat shorter. We only arrived on the Friday afternoon.
Sabres of Paradise were indeed very good, but not my actual favourite. Los Bitchos lost something by being in the tent – they are made for outside in the sunshine. Hooky we caught on the way out (nothing personal, but I have seen them loads in the past few years – always worth it).
On the main stage the Damned underwhelmed me – but I got to see them again after (I think) 43 years. (There is a bigger gap coming). Skunk Anansie were fine and Skin gives it loads – but it is a bit repetitive.
Saturday in the sunshine is fine for reggae, even if Toots himself could not be there. We headed to the Woodland in plenty of time for Stewart Lee (who was very Stewart Lee) which meant we got to see KOG Soundsystem – Ghanian music and cultural explanations. Unfortunately the crowd meant I missed Idlewild who I love (but I did see them a few months ago) and Kate Nash. CMAT was ok, but I mostly saw The Wedding Present who were brilliant. Rachel their new guitar player really makes that a strong unit.
I thought Pixies played some of their stronger new stuff. But we all miss Kim and Gigantic, don’t we? (I first saw them 27th April 1989, my 27th birthday… it was on Radio 1 you know).
Final day was stonking hot. In early and Bar-Steward sons ruined some songs forever for me (Massage in a Brothel, and Mr. Pintsize will be the new definitive lyrics). Then the Au Pairs for the first time in 46 (count them) years. Lesley’s voice was never brilliant and has lost a lot, but the kids in the band were great and really into it and the songs are strong. Even the GLW liked them.
Then we retreated out of the sun into the Woodland stage for Gans, and Miki Berenyi (music fine but she sounded persistently flat to me) and a band who would have loved to have been Pearl Jam (didnt catch the name, but they were fine). Sadly didnt see Ted Chippington again (42 years I think) or Badly Drawn Boy. Over on the main stage The Twilight Sad were very good Scottish miserabilists who should have been on in the tent. At night. Not middle of the day in a heat wave. Liked them though. Missed Neville. Caught a few minutes of Everything Everything – okish.
Kae Tempest was the big draw for GLW and she hated it. Wanted to buy a t-shirt saying “I prefer their earlier stuff”. GLW loves the poetry and this was mostly speed rap. I quite enjoyed the backing but you could not hear the words over it – which was disappointing. And not necessary because you could hear every word of Shirley Manson and Garbage, who were there to prove that they are actually rock stars and succeeded. Quite a lot of comments about ageing (she is 60 in August) and defiance. Great songs and show (though they should finish with Never Happy when it rains, not their new song. Lots of bands seemed to do that – losing the momentum at the end). Which is good as we are seeing them and Skunk again in a couple of weeks in Halifax.
Good fireworks to finish.
You may have noticed I was flitting about a lot – you can do that at BB. It’s only 5 minutes walk between stages, and it is wheelchair friendly. Its a festival for the olds, though there are youth there too. Some not even dragged along by parents.
Our 4th BB in 5 years. Tickets for next year on sale on Saturday.
(and we stay in a hotel rather than camping. Phone and wifi reception is terrible though so ended up giving people lifts because they could not phone a taxi/uber).
Oh, and reflecting the audience the security is perfunctory – a wave through, so you can bring your own drink for when they run out of Thatcher’s blood orange cider. Which was Saturday! lots of water though (unlike Latitude one year)
Another excellent report, @paulwright.
Never seen this lot but they are rather wonderful…..
I’ve seen them! Memories of the event are hazy, as drink had been taken.
They were at Wickham last year. My wife enjoyed them, me not so much.
As an aside, I dislike camping in any form so haven’t been to a multi day festival for decades but I find that the acts seem to be spread very thin at the smaller festivals and I wonder if they would be better served by doing less days. I understand that the set up costs are broadly similar so getting punters to pay for an extra day may seem to make sense but looking at a line up and thinking that the organiser could have trimmed the fat and had a more pleasing two days puts me off and I know that friends of ours have bailed on Wickham this year, after being regulars, for just that reason.
I suppose it depends on what you expect from a festival. The last time I went to Glastonbury (2000) I didn’t see a single act on the main stage. I’m at my happiest stumbling over something interesting in a far-away tent.
Great review Paul that augments @Kid-Dynamites. However Kae Tempest is like fingernails down a blackboard. That Cockney accent really gets on my tits. Better when she was Kate.