The Afterword

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Thank You and Goodnight

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Author:Rob Ford

We’ve all got a mate who we have, upon finishing his anecdote about that time he got trapped in a Portaloo with Wendy James, suggested that he ‘…write a book’. I certainly have, and he has. In the interests of full disclosure, I should say that the subject of Wendy James and/or mobile lavatories have never come up in my conversations with Rob Ford who, nevertheless, has written a thinly-fictionalised account of his times in the pop wars, entitled ‘Thank You, and Goodnight’.

He plays ‘Eppie’, the manager of an aspiring band whose misadventures form the core of this entertaining series of episodes in the life and times of ‘Incursion’, a band perennially on the brink of success, but who somehow manage to avoid the final leap to stardom that will secure their place in the rock pantheon. So far, so “…you should write a book”. It’s a slow burner to start – there’s a lot of necessary exposition. For example no-one has a friend called Sid, and one of the band members is so named in the book presumably in order that no-one can be identified and held accountable for his actions in true life. Some of » Continue Reading.

If you enjoyed Moat…

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What does it sound like?:

Much like his namesake in Back to The Future, Marty’s made another timely appearance. Investing his lockdown-enforced free time wisely, former The Church and All About Eve fret-botherer Marty Willson-Piper has rounded up the (un)usual suspects from his last endeavour once again and launches this collaboration with very occasional troubler of the scorers Jed Bonniwell (nope, me neither) who writes, sings and co-creates this teaser from the forthcoming full length album by (checks clipboard) Space Summit.

It’s certainly not for the good folk who pine for the twelve string Marty Willson-Jangler of old, bearing a riff that’s not afraid to pump up its guns before Jed slides into the action, not with the wail one might expect given the intro, but more of a Screaming Trees thirty-a-day rasp that – say – Willie Nile might employ if he were fronting Soundgarden. It’s slightly airier and proggier-leaning than its clear grungy antecedents might suggest, but as expected that production (as Gerald the Gorilla might have enthused) is amazing – the behind the desk team of Marty and Dare Mason certainly know the dusty end of the faders from the other end, and the drumming (by » Continue Reading.

Helen and The Neighbourhood Dogs – New Material for 2021

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We are pleased and proud to announce that we have new product dropping this week*.

‘Hollow Man’ was recorded remotely in lockdown by the entire group, and is coupled with a new version of crowd-pleasing, set-closing favourite ‘Nelson’. Both songs will be available on our Bandcamp site https://helenandtheneighbourhooddogs.bandcamp.com from Sunday March 21st.

Two accompanying videos will be aired as part of ‘What the Helstock?’ virtual festival on the Blue House Agency Facebook page livestream on Saturday the 20th – scheduled showtime is around half past eight GMT depending on prevailing winds and weather conditions in the East Anglian region – https://www.facebook.com/bhagency/

This is a digital only release, but you can listen to it a couple of times for free online before you make your mind up as to whether you want to own it or not. We also do parties, festivals and house concerts, so once we’re up and running again, if you like what you hear, do get in touch. https://www.facebook.com/helenandthedogs

*Ed – please check with the young folk to see if this is still what they do.

Helstock 2021

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20/03/2021

There will be a virtual festival on the evening of March the 20th. It is a grab-bag mystery line up of international artists of the acoustic alt-country and singer-songerwriterly bent (probably). If you’re not going out, you might want to stay in. As angry from Manchester points out, it’s just likely to be repeats on TV. For the background, read on. Link in blog. https://skirky.blogspot.com/2021/02/what-helstock.html

MOAT – Poison Stream

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What does it sound like?:

It’s possibly the involvement of Marty Willson-Piper, twelve-string botherer of this parish, that will be of most interest to members of The Afterword, but MOAT is no jingle-jangle pony, being a collaboration between ex-The Church Shergoldster and member of – if for not necessarily their best but certainly most interesting album – All About Eve, and Weeping Willows instrumentalist Niko Röhlcke.

Don’t get me wrong, are acoustics aplenty all over this, but there are also horns, strings (principally tastefully deployed by one Olivia Willson-Piper) and the campaign for real drums will celebrate the investment of a portion of the crowdfunded budget in employing one Eddie John (once, briefly of AW-friendly popsters Stackridge) to thump the tubs in a most appropriate manner, all expertly shepherded by co-producer Dare Mason, veteran of knob twiddling for the likes of Soul II Soul, Prince, Elton John and, um, The Triffids.

But what does it sound like, I hear you mither? As I say, it’s not all about the post-Bells of Rhymney acoustic template. Acid Rain kicks off the album in a sprightly fashion before Gone by Noon brings probably the most Churchey course of the night to the » Continue Reading.

“Ere’s a song for ya!”

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I think we can all agree that the calling card of the Greater Crested Coverdale is a thing of beauty that has served him well over decades of cockrockerdom. See also Bruce Dickinson’s “Scream for me [insert name of mittel European enormodome here]!” is a calling card once heard, never forgotten. I myself used to perform alongside a singer whose “We’re going to take a five minute break for ten minutes or so – see you in quarter of an hour” was rivalled in my affections only by his “Listen, we do a lot of weddings…”. I once saw Neil Finn announce the meta “Here’s a song stolen by Paul Young – now we’re stealing it back”, and Simon Nicol’s “This song (Matty Groves) has about seventeen verses and two chords – which is broadly the opposite of a Steely Dan song” enjoins an internal chuckle to this day. What other onstage aphorisms do the collective still recall fondly, I wonder?

“Nope – put the single on side one, move that one to the middle of side two”

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Reading about the totally different tracklisting on the cassette version of City to City just now (look, it’s my day off, don’t judge me) I was reminded of my mate Giff’s recent purchase of the original UK vinyl version of Crowded House’s debut album, which someone at EMI (unbelievably) thought would sound better if it didn’t start with – side one, track one – Mean to Me. Then I remembered that Snowy White out of Thin Lizzy plays the solo on Pink Floyd’s Pigs on the Wing but – get this – only on the 8 Track version! I wonder if any of our correspondents can recall similar anomalous format-related A&R diversions which might delight the, ahem, Massive?

“Turn ‘em all on, then turn ‘em all down…”

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I first met Shane Kirk in 1997 when I auditioned for his Beatles specialist band The Star Club. I was feeling very pleased with myself until he dryly informed me that I was the only applicant.

In the intervening years we have shared many stages together. When I have a harebrained musical idea, he is most often the first person I call. “Do you want to help me start a songwriters’ night?” “Shall we start a band where we pretend to be an American family playing Country songs?” The answer is always yes.

There have been many books written about the goings on and antics of rock stars. This is not one of them. However, this is one in a series of books that you may enjoy if you want to know both the struggle of writing, recording and performing your own songs with very little prospect of retiring on the proceeds of these endeavours, as well as spending your weekends working in a covers band, playing songs you wished you’d written, in pubs you wished you weren’t in.

Someone had to write this book; I’m glad it’s Shane Kirk.

”You owe it to your mum and dad not to sing in a group called Sonic Death Monkey”.

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I’ve recently spent some time on the front line in the retail wars – I can’t tell you exactly where, as there’s a clause in the contract regarding social media, but suffice to say the company concerned will probably be closing a branch near you shortly – and so at this festive time of year, I thought I might share a few reflections.

Firstly, people are generally nice, kind and interested in being interested. Many queries regarding back catalogue or hard-to-find items would begin “I don’t suppose you’ll have heard of this…” and folk would be delighted that you could describe the cover of (say) 24 Carat Purple, Wonsaponatime or correctly attribute the director of Barry Lyndon, even of you couldn’t actually order any of these items in for them. The number of times someone would mention that they would rather enquire in person than online was heartening, at least for those still employed in the retail sector. Then again, we never saw the constituency who preferred to sit in for the Amazon man, did we?

Mind you – you don’t get to describe the plot of a film you once saw most of on a plane and are determined » Continue Reading.

The History of Heavy Metal

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Author:Andrew O’Neill

If you’re not sure about the subtle differences between death metal, black metal, grindcore and speed metal genres then fear not – comedian Andrew O’Neill is here to guide you through the life and times of his favourite musical rollercoaster. The book’s origins lie in a stand-up routine, but the book’s extra volume* allows for extended riffing** on subjects such a glam metal – which gets very short shrift from the author – and Whitesnake, who get even shorter. It’s a tale as old as time, and although there are a couple of errors for the contented old metal head to flag up on social media (Slade’s triumphant 1980 festival renaissance was at Reading, not Donington) it breezes along with appropriate reverence for the deserving, and brilliant footnotes for the less so. His explanation of Smoke on the Water as “The Saving Private Ryan of classic rock songs” is a pearler, and the note on Gary Glitter made me literally snort wine out of my nose.

*Do you see what I’ve done there? **And there.

Length of Read:Medium

Might appeal to people who enjoyed…

Hell Bent for Leather by Seb Hunter, Some Kind of Monster, that Anvil movie, » Continue Reading.

Robyn Hitchcock

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Venue:

The Smokehouse, Ipswich.

Date: 03/05/2019

Robyn Hitchcock at the intimate and bijou The Smokehouse in the heart of swinging downtown Ipswich. A career-spanning ad-hoc set which climaxed with a stunning encore version of Visions of Johanna. A word, if I may, for the exemplary engineering – the guitar sounded like a twelve string at times, and the ‘tween song instructions regarding the effects (“A bit of rock n’ roll echo on this one”, “Like George Harrison being double-tracked in 1967”, “Like someone playing along with a Richard Thompson album in the next room”) were all adhered to strictly to the letter. “I’m going to count down from five to one, and then pan the stereo while ladling on a lot of echo and reverbing that in turn” led to a positively Roundhousian 1967 vibe at one point. (Ed. – please insert ‘Sonic Cathedrals’ reference here).

Kudos too, to opener Polly Preacher, whose effects-laden guitar and harmony-enabling bass player led us to an interval conversation about who is our favourite ‘Polly’.

The audience:

A bit Life of Brian “Are there any women here..?

It made me think..

I must look up Robyn Hitchcock’s cat’s Instagram profile. His account of » Continue Reading.

Twin Drummers – ATM

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It is one of the most stirring sights in rock – two drummers (one, ideally, left-handed) pounding away behind a couple of gurning soloists – but, and here is where I defer to the wisdom and knowledge of the Afterword, if you will, massif – is there generally a ‘lead’ drummer and a ‘rhythm’ drummer, or do they usually work out in advance where the fills are going to be? I haven’t watched enough Dead and/or Doobies to take an informed view. I saw The Waterboys a couple of years ago and one of the pair was essentially an over-qualified percussionist, and when Messrs Mattacks and Conway teamed up at Cropredy it was very much an eye-contact split-stereo effort, but these were temporary experiments. Did Butch Trucks habitually pull rank? And do get me started on the latest King Crimson line up.

Caleb Elliot – Forever to Fade

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What does it sound like?:

Venturing out to see the estimable New Jersey stylings of Nicole Atkins this week, I was drawn to the humble and self-effacing opening turn – one Caleb Elliot – whose day job is as cello player in the headliner’s employ. Standard floppy-fringed, roper-heeled, sensitive, acoustic guitar-driven troubadour fare, one might think. Nevertheless I was drawn further into his world the more the set went on and treated myself to the vinly version of his new album (you get a download code too) at the interval. Listening to the full band version of the songs, I couldn’t be more taken with them. The electric versions are a masterpiece of introspection, a symphony of underplayment. The bass on a few tracks (do we say ‘cuts’ these days or are we still waiting for that to come around again?) is so minimalist it’s almost not there until, until…there it is, as perfectly placed as a daub of red in a Turner seascape. For all, or perhaps because of, his gosh-darn charm it’s unlikely that he’ll be taking the alt-Americana scene by the scruff of it’s neck anytime soon, so why not do a brother a favour and » Continue Reading.

Book Club questions for album buyers.

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Just finished Neil Gaiman’s Anansi Boys – which is epic, and thoroughly both commended and recommended – and saw that they put suggested Book Club questions at the end of novels these days. I can’t help thinking this would be a fine idea for albums – whether as additional tracks at the end of the CD or inserted subtly into the sleeve notes. “Do you think the vocals were too loud on track one?”, “How about that double-tracked guitar solo, eh?”, that sort of thing. Here’s my one: “What did Billy Joe throw off the Tallahatchie Bridge?”

Helen and The Neighbourhood Dogs

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We’ve done a thing. That’s me sounding like Chris Difford on the first track, trying to write a Justin Currie song on the second, double tracking a Tele and bouzouki on the third, and channelling a famous British novelist on the fourth. We’ve all done it.

https://helenandtheneighbourhooddogs.bandcamp.com/album/the-back-of-the-big

Marty Willson-Piper

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Venue:

The Betsey Trotwood, EC1.

Date: 14/03/2019

And so to the heart of London’s swinging Clerkenwell, where former The Church, All About Eve, The Saints and current Anekdoten guitarist Marty Willson-Piper is paying for his Roy Harper ticket by initially doing an acoustic gig, which has blossomed into a short UK tour. Downstairs at The Betsey Trotwood is not a big room, and so lends itself ideally to the sort of intimate soiree we are about to experience. Accompanied by wife Olivia on vocals, fiddle and octave violin – who brings great depth, atmosphere and warmth to proceedings – Marty swaps between twelve string guitars (one of which appears to be principally gaffa tape) and brings us a wide ranging selection from his back catalogue of seventy-odd albums, collaborations, productions and guest spots including a handful from The Church’s Heyday and a very creditable Farewell Mr. Sorrow, in between rambles, reflections on mortality, a reading and the occasional impact rectification of a recalcitrant DI box. It is terrifically enjoyable, and it’s almost impossible not to be swept into MW-P’s intimate world of hand-crafted stage lighting, guitar geekdom and genuine affection for the form.

The audience:

Friendly, accomodating, the sort » Continue Reading.

“Yes, there’s always been a grindcore element to our trip-hop skippy-dippy Shatner music…”

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It’s festival application time again, so time to update the band bio and fill in the parts of the form which ask us to explain what we do, how, and why. There are generally three ways of doing this, essentially by dint of “Who we’ve played with”, “Who our band members used to be” and “Who we sound like” – cf “…has appeared on the bill with such bands as….”, “…former member of…” and “…influenced by…. I was minded of this earlier in the week when one Mike Scott, formerly of this parish (and self-proclaimed ‘Traveller between worlds’) took umbrage at a promoter and/or local paper listings editor describing his band as “Folk-Rock”. My first thought was “What’s he complaining about, at least he’s getting press..?” but then as I worked my way through a series of “Tell us about your music in no more than seventy five words” text boxes I wondered if he might have a point. I know people who are promoters and agents and who have learned to cut to the chase when it comes to artist-led PR – one immediately bins anything featuringa cajon, which cuts his workload down considerably, and I understand that Joe » Continue Reading.

The Favourite

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Year: 2018 Director: Yorgos Lanthimos

Despite having a pretty similar relationship with historical fact as some of the recent Dr Who episodes, this is a great piece of cinema – atmospherically lit, superbly soundtracked, beautifully shot and wonderfully acted by its three leads. What Olivia Colman can’t convey with the merest flicker of a facial muscle isn’t worth knowing about. I’ve seen it described as a ‘comedy drama’, but laughs are hard-earned, and the overall mood is of quiet desperation on the parts of all of the protagonists. The odd modern affectation in the language aside, this is a thoroughly absorbing work which I’m sure will be handed a bucket load of awards before the season’s out, as well as upping the traffic on Queen Anne’s Wikipedia page to hitherto unseen levels.

Might appeal to people who enjoyed:

Ridicule (1997).

Sic transit artem

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I was lucky enough to recently visit the Eksisterende Museum in Aarhus, which is situated close to the city centre, in the middle of Vores Gade. In the main gallery was a touring exhibition curated by Dutch conceptualist Mercedes van Stuurprogramma – an artist with whom I was previously unfamiliar but who, it turns out, leans toward the Dada. What Mercedes has done is collect a number of found objects, all of which have at some point been broken while being moved or, in transit.

Those of us familiar with the delivery techniques of DPD (for example) may not be surprised at the breadth of artefacts she has assembled for the collection, but amongst the everyday objets, there are hidden gems which contrast with, and throw into relief, the otherwise mundane. The original 78 RPM version of ‘Wilhelmina (is Plump and Round)’ by Rossini’s Accordian Band – later, of course recorded by Thunderclap Newman and released as the b-side to ‘Something in the Air’ – lies in two distinct shards.

Fairground mirrors, jigsaw puzzles, Lego models, the original 1732 Treaty of Ahmet Pasha, the jaded promises of a desperate passenger on the 1500 Greyhound Bus to Texarkana, a bedside reading » Continue Reading.

The Rock & Roll Book Club

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Venue:

The Dublin Castle, Camden.

Date: 03/10/2018

In pursuit of Dave and Derek Philpott’s “Dear Mr. Popstar” we alight at Camden Town tube station, grab a pint and a burger at The World’s End opposite (handy tip, they don’t do any alcohol-free beers) and make our way through the glittering streets of North London to the legendary Dublin Castle, Madness-centric home of The Rock and Roll Book Club, a regular event, this evening hosting not only The Philpotts but also one Bruce Thomas, late of The Attractions, who is here to talk about his new tome, Rough Notes.

Dave is up first, and after a couple of cursory questions regarding the hows, whys and wherefores he is joined by some game guests who recount their answers in occasionally halting tones, principally because the light isn’t so good and a couple of them haven’t brought their reading glasses.

Of these, Will Birch out of The Kursaal Flyers is a dapper raconteur, and Rupert Hine (it’s a lengthy discography, but I maintain that “A Girl Called Johnny” is his finest moment) has clearly been asked to pronounce Taumatawhakatangihangakoayauo-TamateaturipukakapikimaungahoroNukypokaiwhenuakitanatahu at parties a lot. Owen Paul manages to knock a glass of wine » Continue Reading.

Del Amitri – These Are Such Perfect Days

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Author:Charles Rawlings-Way

The thing (that we’ll kiss goodbye) is, Justin Currie was right. The story of Del Amitri is not that dramatic. Nobody died, no-one fell out, there is no heroin hell, no cocaine-fuelled wrecking of hotel rooms, although (spoiler alert) some watches do get damaged. This is a wholly functional account of how the music business worked in The Nineties, filtered through the prism of a fan of one of the bands who were there. Guitarists and drummers come and go, advances are advanced, deals are dealt, tours are toured but, ultimately, nothing ever happens. The ‘Where are they now?’, discography and gig list are exemplary and everyone involved comes out of the whole odyssey sounding like a terribly good sort but, ultimately, it’s no Hammer of the Gods.

Length of Read:Medium

Might appeal to people who enjoyed…

Diary of a Rock n’ Roll Star. Overuse of the word ‘axeman’, footnotes.

One thing you’ve learned

There’s more money to be made writing for The Fast Show than there is in being a guitarist in Del Amitri. Also, that scene of the guitar player having a breakdown in a launderette in America was faked.

Travis perform The Man Who.

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Venue:

The Regent, Ipswich.

Date: 21/06/2018

Anyone who tries to stir up an Ipswich audience with a stirring call to arms like “How ya doin’, Ipswich?” or “Are there any Travis fans in tonight?” has either massively over-estimated their perceived innate connection with their audience, or hasn’t been to Ipswich before. Thus Turin Brakes, with their affable brand of guitar-based power melancholy attempt to warm up The Ipswich Regent, nee Odeon, nee Gaumont, a task that The Beatles once attempted on behalf of Roy Orbison, something Fran Healey out of The Travis will mention later on. “It’s a good room” he will say “A good vibe”, which demonstrates a certain generosity of personality, if nothing else.

Travis are here to wheel out a performance of their classic, nineteen year-old album The Man Who – a record which, according to Q Magazine’s contemporaneous review “…loses momentum after its first four songs” – an issue which often intrudes on these anniversary recreations of halcyon periods in a band’s recorded output. That slightly weak track you buried half way through side two isn’t necessarily what you want to be building your live show toward a climax with.

Fran is initially non-communicative, leading » Continue Reading.