The Afterword

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Well, blow my lips off! EU on QT

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Nigel Farage, in a blue-grey suit, and Eddie Izzard, in a pink beret, arguing the toss about immigration on “Question Time”. Grande hilaire.

I seem to quite like most of the people who want to stay in [apart from Dave] and quite dislike most of the people who want to get out. On that basis, I’m in. But I’m worried that 90 per cent of the voters taking part in this referendum probably don’t have a blind clue what they’re voting on and their decision will likely be about “foreigners taking our jobs, houses, schools places, hospital beds, etc”.

A lyrical puzzle

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This may work. Or may not.

I’ve taken a well-known song, arranged every word in alphabetical order, then removed all of the words which appear more than once, as well as all the proper nouns. I’ll start by giving you the A words and see if you can identify the song from them. If not, I’ll give you the B words, etc. I reckon you’ll get it from just the A’s.

No googling, please.

I said no googling.

I’m expecting Mr Concheroo to be first with the answer. No pressure.

PS Did I say no googling?

Oh yeah, the A words…

after, alibis, alright, amused, any, around, as

Time for that Bowie top 50 songs list. Again.

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New album out. May as well. Alphabetical, of course.

After All Aladdin Sane All The Madmen All The Young Dudes Always Crashing In The Same Car Ashes To Ashes The Bewlay Brothers Blackstar Drive-In Saturday Fame Fantastic Voyage Fashion Five Years Golden Years Hallo Spaceboy The Heart’s Filthy Lesson “Heroes” I’m Deranged It’s No Game 1&2 The Jean Genie John, I’m Only Dancing Jump They Say Kooks Lady Grinning Soul Lady Stardust Let’s Dance Life On Mars? Little Wonder The Man Who Sold The World The Motel Moonage Daydream Repetition Rock ‘n’ Roll Suicide Queen Bitch Quicksand Slip Away Some Are Sound And Vision Space Oddity Starman Station To Station Stay Sweet Thing/Candidate/Sweet Thing Time Time Will Crawl We Are The Dead Win Where Are We Now Young Americans Ziggy Stardust

Probably.

Just post a top 10 if you’re not an uberfan. Let’s not have the argument again, though.

Have you heard Andrew Neil’s rant?

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Oh dear. Basic stuff.

I admire the passion, but the content is risible. I’m guessing his dad’s bigger than their dad, too.

Come on, Mr Neil, things are much more complex than you care to mention. If you have a platform on national television, you should take your responsibility more seriously. You’ve had a week to get it together.

Poor.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-34877683

Fargo season 2

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Anyone watching the new series? My god, the first twenty minutes of ep1 was the craziest piece of TV I’ve seen in ages. I just love how everything gets so fouled up. Fabulously twitchy direction. They sure know how to crank up the tension. “OK, then.”

Rock music’s most significant summer?

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We’re very keen round these parts to discuss “the greatest year in rock music”, whichever that may be on a particular day according to a particular person.

After reading extensive discussions about Lord Hepworth’s année de choix, I decided to check out 1971 in detail, which led me to compile my own chronology, which I then felt need expansion to encompass a couple of key years on either side. So I have ended up chronicling the half-decade from 1969 – the year the “Sixties” died, in more ways than one – to 1973, when Pink Floyd finally arrived on the Dark Side and Bowie killed Ziggy.

In the process of so doing, it became apparent that this was indeed a tumultuous period in the development of rock, pop and soul – even, perhaps, THE most tumultuous. The rise of Led Zeppelin to juggernaut status; the transmogrification of the post-Jones Stones; the redistribution of Cream’s constituent elements; the emergence of the solo singer-songwriter as a real force in popular music; not to mention the prolonged and painful dissolution of The Beatles and the reappearance of Dylan…

Moreover, I had the amazing realisation that many significant events which we normally view as » Continue Reading.

Double embarrassing word-mangle

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My wife kindly bought tickets for us both to see “The Importance Of Being Earnest”. David Suchet as Lady Bracknell, beamed live to local theatres all over the country from the Vaudeville in the West End. Our auditorium, in our small town in Surrey, was packed to the gills, mostly with over-65s.

We arrived with minutes to spare, but I still found time to pop to the bar and order a couple of large gin and tonics – plastic glasses, of course, you know how rowdy pensioners can get. The young woman who served me asked if I would like a loyalty card. I’d noticed on the way in that next week they were showing the Cumberbatch “Hamlet”. So I said, “Oh, we don’t really come here regularly, but I think we might try the…” Now this is went it all went wrong. I can’t vouch for the precise form of syllables; however, in attempting to say “the Benedict Cumberbatch Hamlet”, I said something like “the Benecunt Hamberditch…” The c*** syllable certainly featured and the rest was garbage. I lamely added “Hamlet thing” and slunk away with my drinks.

At the interval, I braved the bar again. This time it » Continue Reading.

Jessica Pratt

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Venue:

Bush Hall, London

Date: 08/09/2015

This was like falling asleep and waking up inside her wonderful 2015 album “On Your Own Love Again”. With a broad sweep of red velvet curtain as a backdrop, there was a Lynchian dreamlike quality to the set-up which suited Jessica’s uniquely mannered vocal and guitar-picking style to a tee.

Entrancing is perhaps the word most often used to describe her music. Indeed, the spell woven by her songs in this live framework proved even more hypnotic than the studio recording. Opening the evening with the haunting “Wrong Hand”, Miss Pratt never hurried her performance. The softly swirling “Moon Dude” had an even slower lilt than on the album.

“Strange Melody”, “Back, Baby” [which included an impromptu audience rendition of the opening line, “Sometimes I pray for the rain”] and “I’ve Got a Feeling” combined to bring the regular set to a marginally more uptempo close before “Titles Under Pressure”, from her debut album, and a new number [I think], “Fortuna”, formed an understated encore.

Jessica was charmingly tangible throughout, asking the desk if they could fix her reverb glitch and telling her audience she felt a little ill, offering her » Continue Reading.

Ben Folds

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Venue:

Royal Opera House, Covent Garden

Date: 12/08/2015

Anyone who knows the Folds canon would have been hoping for a cocksure volley of nerd/genius chamber pop but fearing a piano concerto. Their hopes were fulfilled, their fears tempered by a pair of mesmering tours de force from the six-piece [string trio, wind trio] ensemble yMusic, who as well as opening each half also backed the main man.

Of course he’s a slightly arrogant shit. We know, he knows. But he’s also a four-eyed, mop-headed short-arse crammed to bursting with a talent for classy tunes and sassy tales, plus an impressive array of skills on the keys. If you’ve listened to his records and found that the plink-plonk grows wearisome after a few songs, you should know that the live setting is the proper way to consume his stuff. His voice, which can sound a little flat [in the dull sense, not the “off” sense] on the studio material, is really quite wonderful in the, er… flesh. And the addition of viola, cello, French horn, sax, flute etc brings a further dimension.

Folds used this night to show off a rack of new ditties in a promising trailer for his » Continue Reading.

Ultimate Thingmyest Stuff Ever Thread

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Whatever, people.

My top five are:

[1] Daffy Duck [b] A fried egg [3] “Posthumously” [4] Isaac Newton [5] Close-up magic [6] July 3, 1973

Oh, this is so hard. It’ll probably be different in an hour’s time.

Best Fictional Characters – EVER!!!

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I was browsing the magazines in a supermarket today and saw another one of those £9.99 genre bookazine/magbook things – “100 Greatest Sci-Fi Characters Of All Time”. Nice idea, I thought, but I was a little dismayed by the upper reaches of the top 10 – Batman not even in there, Doctor Who only number two behind – WTF – Han Solo?!?! Get out the front door!! I just don’t understand that.

Anyway, it got me thinking – wouldn’t it be marvellous to ask you lot for your greatest fictional characters ever, no specific genre, no specific medium. Give me your top five and if there’s a big enough response I’ll compile a top 20 or top fifty or, heaven forfend, a top 100. There’s literally millions to choose from – see my tags for a little taster.

Go on, you know you want to.

Getting personal

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Sorry to get all “Just Seventeen” on your arses, but what is your least favourite bit of your own body? [Or maybe you consider yourself to be a perfect specimen.]

Me, I really don’t like my arms. They’re pale and not very manly. I longed for brown, muscular arms when I was a teenager, but I could never seem to beef them up and every time I tried to get a tan they just went red and peeled. So I covered them up and they’ve been covered up ever since.

I have very good legs, though.

How about you?

Doonican, Dame, Damon

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I’m in a hurry, so combining three bits of entertainment news.

Uncle Val has died, aged 88. Big part of my childhood. Paddy McGinty’s Goat, etc.

There’s a new Bowie box set out in September covering the Ziggy era. Little in it for hardcore fans.

Albarn’s new project is a musical Alice for the digital age, called Wonder.land.

End of announcements.

http://www.davidbowie.com/news/five-years-1969-1973-box-set-due-september-54571

Destressing

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I’ve had a stressful year so far, a stressful couple of weeks and a particularly stressful morning.

When I am stressed, I find this song chills me out. It’s so beautiful, it brings tears to my eyes.

Call me a girl, I don’t care. I’m not stressed any more.

Things that grind my gears as a road user

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I don’t want to hear from car drivers about how annoying cyclists are or from cyclists about how annoying car drivers are or from car drivers about how annoying other car drivers are who hog the middle lane, or drive too close up your arse, etc. We’ve done all that before and we know where we stand.

I’ve got a couple of new ones.

[a] Those pricks on motorcycles who look like they’re Biker-Bill until they get up close and you see that their high-vis vest actually says “POLITE” and not “POLICE”. Surely they should be done for trying to impersonate an Officer of the Lerr.

[b] These new Lidl supermarkets that have about 20 spaces in their car parks when they need about 100, causing lines of waiting vehicles on access roads and consequent delays to through traffic. I blame the local authority for giving them planning permission.

You have any current motoring gripes?

Oh yeah. [c] The Kingston F***ing Bypass.

Norway 1 England 2

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Anyone see that Women’s World Cup match? Crikey, the ladies’ game is still a little tame, from what I’ve seen so far [haven’t watched Germany, I have to admit].

Cracking second England goal from Lucy Bronze, though [ace name too].