The Afterword

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What Do We Think About This Guy?

by 150 Comments

Tommy Emmanuel is likely the world’s greatest guitarist (in his style). He is technically astonishing, but it doesn’t stop there. He’s no dry academic, not a robot, and plays with real passion and imagination, from the heart as much as the head. His personality comes across in his performance, and he seems like a great guy. At one of his concerts, he asked the audience if there were any guitarists present. “Not any more,” came the rueful response.

One of his countless YouTube comments says “nobody else has ever made me want play the guitar and to give it up at the same time.”

The clip shows him playing a gorgeous Somewhere Over The Rainbow, entirely avoiding corniness. He can interpret anything, making it seem brand new.

And yet, and yet … it can be difficult listening to his albums. He’s exhausting. His playing demands attention, and I’m not up to an album’s worth. A tune at a time, my mind is blown, but his complexity overwhelms me over the side of an album. This is my fault, not his. I feel the same way about Art Tatum, another master of complexity.

Anybody flying over your head in this way?

» Continue Reading.

The Toast Knowledge Bank

by 231 Comments

This topic has been touched upon many times here, but never, as far as I know, given the well-deserved dignity of its own thread. I do not expect this to be a long discussion. I am hoping for a concise and above all knowledgeable overview, complete with technical details of basic ingredient, methods of preparation etc. that may serve as the “knowledge bank” of the title, ready to be referred to as the authoritative guide to the subject.

I’d like to start with the possibly contentious aspect of serving temperature. Regardless of the type of bread used, I advocate warm toast, neither finger-burningly hot nor unappetisingly cold. In my experience hot toast melts both butter (OSAA) and topping, resulting in a concomitant lack of the crispness for which toast is rightly esteemed; the slice sags defeatedly in the hand, all substance and texture lost. Crispness is strengthened by the practice of twice-toasting, which I hope Mr. Thep may step up and explain, if he’s in a charitable mood.

It was 501 Years Ago Today …

by 18 Comments

… that the Diet of Worms (January-May 1521) was convened by Charles V, Holy Roman Emperor to address, among other issues, the works of the reformer Martin Luther (1483-1546) who openly criticised the Church. Luther was told to recant and, when he would not, was charged with heresy, marking his official break with the Church. “Who wants to eat worms?” he famously said from the Cathedral steps.

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Health And Efficiency Corner

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Today we’ll be tackling the issue of Dietary Supplements! The expensive multi-vitamin, mineral, herb, and other pills and capsules that are supposed to compensate for a diet lacking in such. High Street franchises make millions from flogging them, but have you ever experienced any noticeable benefit from swallowing them? Experienced an improvement in any aspect of your life?

Full disclaimer: I may have benefitted from an increased immunity to colds while living in Europe from ingesting Vitamin C. May have. Difficult to tell, and it would be easy to persuade me they were placebos. But other vitamin and Magic Herb nostrums I’ve tried over the years have passed through my system with no effect other than wallet-thinning. Is the entire business a scam?

Private Email To Liz Truss

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Dear Elizabeth Truss

First off, allow me to congratulate you on assuming the Premiership! I have every confidence you will pilot the Ship of State through the rough waters ahead to arrive at the Safe Harbour of economic stability!

You will of course be very busy at this time but I would if I may like to put one item “on the table” so to speak concerning Abuse of Internet Power by so-called “moderators” on established forums (fora?) who ride roughshod over the wishes of their diaspora in implementing unpopular and inappropriate “improvements” in a high-handed and authoritarian manner. I have in mind one particular “community” but refrain from naming it because this I’m sure is a pervasive abuse and to single out any individual web site might make this request seem petty whereas it is something that millions of people have to suffer.

To quote just one example – the “moderators” at the forum in question have recently imposed – without soliciting the wise counsel of well-established and respected “content providers” such as myself – an absolutely horrific colour scheme (brown and red!!!!???) which makes visits physically uncomfortable. And they refuse to do anything about it in spite of » Continue Reading.

The Russians Are Coming! The Russians Are Coming!

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Good Morning Britains!

“Heavily Armed Russian Navy Ships Sailing Between Britain And Ireland In a proactive move, a group of Russian Navy ships are currently entering the Irish Sea. There are clear indications that they will sail up and around the United Kingdom. Among other things, this might take them close to major submarine base of Faslane. Ultimately the route that they take may still be via the Atlantic or English Channel.

The group is led by the SLAVA class cruiser Marshal Ustinov. The UDALOY class destroyer Vice-Admiral Kulakov and a tanker, Vyazma, are with her (him)*”

[*note pronoun attentiveness – Ed.].

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http://www.hisutton.com/Ustinov-Cruiser-Uk-Passage.html

My Old Man’s Cookery Book

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I found this sifting through my external drives, and if there’s one place it might be enjoyed, it’s here. My Dad became quite adept – in a quiet way – at cooking for himself, and wrote about it with as much enjoyment. He took the photographs, too. I did him a layout, which has become uglified in file conversion, and his achievement merits a little wider circulation.

Good appetite!

https://workupload.com/file/BrSfjkUd4Sx

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A Thread In Honour Of Kaisfatdad

by 111 Comments

I know I take the Michael out of him something rotten, have been for years and years (can you remember his Nude Trampolining Camp, readers?), but he is a stalwart pillar of this community, a reliable content provider (unlike chiz, say – just a name pulled at random) who kept the Afterword flag flying – well, fluttering – during the Dark Ages, and whose good humour is a tonic in these terrible times. So please take a minute or so to attach a YewChewb clip you think he might enjoy, as a way of saying – “thanks, old chap!”

The Pleasure Of Modest Pride In Small Achievements

by 235 Comments

Done something recently that gives you small but significant pleasure? (Not that, Moose.) Some seemingly trivial action that creates a secret glow of satisfaction in a job well done? Something you wouldn’t brag about but feel that a little appreciation would be justified?

Example. I’d been struggling with a badly-designed frying pan for months. Handle too heavy, resulting in instability. So I sawed a couple of inches off it. Not as easy as it sounds, let me tell you! Very dense heat-proof plastic. Hacksaw. Holding pan secure while the work was done. Result? Complete success! Pan now sits securely on its base. Handle long enough to hold. The gratification seems out of proportion with the act. I didn’t reverse climate change, or learn to play Fairy Bells on the piano. I made a modest improvement that returns a private pleasure every day. I did a thing I’m mildly proud of.

There are other examples, but I’m sure you get the gist.

Does Truss Have Your Support?

by 139 Comments

Help me here. I hadn’t heard of her, but there she is, apparently your next unelected Prime Minister! Anyone would think you were living in a Third World country!

She looks and sounds like a freaking nightmare, par for the course for your institutionally eternal Tory government, but does she have secret attributes tucked away? How are you wearing her? And does she have the cojones?

The Pretty One

by 350 Comments

In the ‘sixties (a bore writes), it was the format of the U.K. beat combo; three snaggle-toothed, whey-faced, potato-nosed blerks, and one for the girls to scream at.

Here’s one example: Yer Beatles. Paul was the Pretty One. Yes, the others had their Special Fans, but Paulie was The Pretty One.

Other examples?

It is my contention that Punk Rock put an end to this. The Pretty Pistol? The Pretty Pogue? But are there any exceptions? Why am I asking you?

Rolling Stones Add Bass Player, Drummer To Permanent Line-Up

by 44 Comments

Veteran rocker Mick Jagger today confirmed the addition of a permanent rhythm section to the core three-piece band of Jagger, Keith Richards, and Ronnie Wood. “The more we thought about it, the more sense it made”, says Jagger. “These guys have the experience, were available for work, and fit right in.” “To be honest,” says Paul McCartney, “Ringo and me were waiting for the call for, like, the longest time. We learned pretty much the entire Stones back catalog for the audition.” “We were scared shitless!” laughs Ringo. “These guys are like our idols, you know, and I dropped me sticks at one point during Gimme Shelter. But we got the gig!” Will the new boys be appearing on the next Stones album? “Nah,” says Jagger. “We need to get on the road for a bit, let them settle in.” And what about incorporating some Beatles songs into the setlist? Keith Richards laughs, “Are you fucking kidding?”

Anyone Fancy A Fight?

by 66 Comments

Things seem pretty quiet here. Too quiet, you ask me. Nothin’ much of anything happening. Even a KFD piece about Inuit Yurt Zither ensembles trailing an entire day’s worth of YouTube clips behind it would be welcome. So to tide us over, is anyone up for a bout of fisticuffs? I’m an old man and out of shape and should be a pushover. Come on then, if you think you’re hard enough! See you next Tuesday!