Benjamin Myers is the author of “Cuddy,” a BRILLIANT novel about what St Cuthbert means to the North East of England. He also wrote “The Gallows Pole” which no less a director than Shane Meadows adapted for TV. I have yet to read his latest novel “Jesus Christ Kinski” about a notorious play starring the noted absolute nutter Klaus Kinski as Jesus Christ.

I say all this stuff to emphasise the credentials of the author of a very lengthy piece about Napalm Death’s one second long song “You Suffer.” It’s worth your time.

https://thequietus.com/opinion-and-essays/black-sky-thinking/ben-myers-napalm-death-you-suffer/?fbclid=IwY2xjawQ6f5FleHRuA2FlbQIxMABzcnRjBmFwcF9pZBAyMjIwMzkxNzg4MjAwODkyAAEe78d499kyjIcbOeWBiiQejAbqNw2kYF1L1AsFCFqNa4huvUbpDcc6jEtRvWs_aem_WSSzsqXK_7wsoSFa-Gut0A

Ah, The Daily Mash…

I can say that I had this experience with the very first album I paid money for. I loved “What Is Love” and “New Song” by Howard Jones and his new single “Things Can Only Get Better” sounded great. I was flush with birthday money and ready to spend.

My God. Even at nine years old I knew this was pretty bad. Apart from that one song. I’m amazed I ever bought another album at all sometimes…

https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-entertainment/six-shite-albums-you-paid-10-99-for-because-of-one-decent-song-20250115253966

Ah crap. Genuinely one of the good guys (he stuck up for Sinead O’Connor ffs), a songwriter of near genius on a good day, a decent actor, an ex marine and a witness to the recording of Blonde On Blonde.

Some people just live well. RIP.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbqGWTxwZEA

I have read some egregious fucking lists in my time but this one is off the scale.

Three examples – Mother Knows Best from Tangled is number one. Huh? – Absolutely nothing from Jungle Book till you get to 24. – Surface Pressure from Encanto is better than When You Wish Upon A Star? SERIOUSLY?

I got this far before exploding.

Pretty damn sure this can be fixed.

https://www.theguardian.com/film/article/2024/jul/30/ranked-every-disney-song-robert-komaniecki-

All I will say is, in no universe, parallel or otherwise, is Hole’s “Live Through This” a better album than Nirvana’s “Nevermind.”

https://pitchfork.com/features/lists-and-guides/the-best-albums-of-the-1990s/?utm_brand=p4k&utm_social-type=owned&utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&mbid=social_facebook&fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR2Pfg1eBbl7oCmdDkMLpYfJ_kHPwlU5a_RY_jDeW6qINaWgKnNARcy-F1U_aem_ATI8HoTBuzaEFJbUbp-lBxWsshAquPQ2t-Vr4sRT_6d8dUxwYNc-n1DpjUE247BCPwJz3SqpCk6b6sYKBFIKSai3

The Wu Tang Clan!

Seriously, they have a Las Vegas residency starting next year…

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/12/12/arts/music/wu-tang-clan-las-vegas-residency.html?smid=fb-nytimes&smtyp=cur&fbclid=IwAR2_U-eLSaDZUoHGy7Dajjoeo96bsiRRBb6bSZn0DmRUZ7n0Knk8zP-6LCQ

“Simon Smith And His Amazing Dancing Bear” by Randy Newman is kind of throwaway. He’s not writing a full power. The Muppets covered it so its practically a kids song.

Everytime I play it, tears come out of my eyes.

WHY?

And do you have a really innocuous tune which does the same?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgjU6kPV_MA

Starting price is $400,000, but this is quite the artefact and no mistake…

https://www.liveauctioneers.com/item/165281927_bob-dylan-original-master-tapes?fbclid=IwAR0kuFgc7Akova0bYpSDPLd4dxEsSCM1wJIKpubi8aE9Mvo1pB_1iczWp4E

Often of an evening I watch old episodes of Top Of The Pops on the iPlayer and tonight I watched a 1987 episode when “You Win Again” was number one. And I do love that song, and I love loads of Bee Gees tunes. But boy, do they lack charisma or what? They looked like three total spods. I’ve never known them to say anything funny or witty, but their genuine talent is an obvious “piss off ganglesprocket, who cares what you think” retort which cannot be denied.

But this made me think. Are there any other charisma vacuums that I am forgetting about? Is there anyone else with Bee Gee levels of success (I accept producer or performer, provided they have done both in their time) which I am forgetting?

Does anyone have less charisma and more success than the Bee Gees?

Ok, I admit I have technically started with Taylor Swift because I have heard “Shake It Off” which I thought was fine but it wasn’t enough to tempt me in.

However today I have a long train journey with two children who will be engrossed in their tech, so its a good day to stick my toe into the shallows at least of Taylor Swift.

But where? What is her best album? All suggestions appreciated.

This one hurts, I have to say. I am an enormous fan. RIP Robbie

I know, who knew that the Pussy Hitmakers would behave in such a manner? I am shocked. Shocked.

In the story we learn that a 24 year old woman contacted a woman who helps fans gain access to parties with Rammstein’s singer. She was horrified to discover that these parties were to facilitate sex. She declined to have sex with Tillmans, who it seems, acted like a bit of a dick but who is not accused of rape or sexual assault. She felt funny after a couple of drinks though. But nothing untoward happened other than a touring rock star didn’t get laid with her. Presumably he did with someone else.

I am old and crap and cynical. But do young music fans really honestly think that bands have these systems set up because they are lovely people who just like to throw parties to make their fans feel special? I mean really? I mean I am neither 24 or a woman, but were I either and I found myself backstage at a Rammstein gig, I’d have a vague idea why…

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/jun/06/german-band-rammstein-accused

This is absolutely worth anyone’s time here. Mack McCormick is new to me. This piece is about how obsession can send you absolutely mad and I reckon some of the real musos here will cough guiltily to themselves.

https://www.texasmonthly.com/arts-entertainment/mack-mccormick-quest-to-find-real-robert-johnson/?utm_source=pocket_discover&utm_medium=email

Children of the 90s who post here will remember that CD’s of the time often had “hidden tracks” at the end. Often these things were truly worthless. Often they indicated that the act in question had too much money from their record companies and had taken far too many drugs. Anyway, The Stone Roses “Second Coming” album had a hidden track… It was not a hidden gem.

Were any of them? Or were they all crap?

I was at my Mother In Law’s house last weekend, rifling through some of my wife’s old records which still reside there and there were some gems which I had to take home; Listen Without Prejudice Vol 1 by George Michael, Actually by the Pet Shop Boys, The Innocents by Erasure. And also GnR Lies by Guns and Roses.

Man. I have not played that thing since I was at school in the 80s. What did a man in his late 40s think of something he hadn’t played since his late teens? This extremely misogynistic, homophobic, extremely snotty thing? With racist undertones? My brain was yelling “this is all shite” but my heart really liked it, if I am honest.

I couldn’t play it in front of people I work with. I could play it with my wife, it is her’s after all, but lordy, I genuinely feel guilt about how much I like a thing which every critical faculty I own tells me is genuinely worthless.

Pop music? Bloody hell. Anyway the worst song » Continue Reading.

… is now on Spotify.

On some days I think it is the worst album ever made. Other days it’s the greatest. At least once a year I literally have to listen to it.

This is my favorite song from it…

Did any of you know that The Nolans had a song called Sexy Music? I didn’t for sure. After viewing this I now know that sex is a terrible thing that I will never have again.

If you have any other songs which will convert you to a life of celibacy, put them here.

As a father of young children and one half of a relationship of over twenty years standing “the nightclub” is pretty much “there be dragons” these days. Ah, but once upon a time, my arse did shake in venues like The Arches, The Sub Club and The Art School. And it’s a Saturday. So, in a possibly futile gesture, I ask my elderly Afterword cronies to offer up their favorite “bangers.”

I will open with Underworld’s “Rez.” Their shows generally ended with “Rez” into “Cowgirl” back to “Rez” then a triumphant “Born Slippy.” Sweaty bodies and happy faces all round, guaranteed…