Good piece in the Graun about “anti-escapist games”. Farming Simulator, PowerWash Simulator, Motorcycle Mechanic, Car Mechanic Simulator und andere seem designed for the Afterword diaspora. The latest – Lawn Mowing Simulator – I’m not kidding – had to be conceived by Fentonsteve.
Any suggestions for future autotelic activity? I’ve added the one you just thought of in the first comment.
https://www.theguardian.com/games/article/2024/jun/26/lawn-mowing-simulator-simulation-games
Watching Paint Dry Simulator
Brilliant! I am so on for the Watching Paint Dry Simulator,
I’m just a little worried it may be far too exciting.
Online Backgammon Simulator
I already play that.
Gary’s Swiffer Mop Pro
Wordle simulator.
A vacuuming simulator, of course. Should include someone’ shouting at it because it’s still insisting the dust filter needs changing.
You know there’s a Games section of the site, alongside Nights Out, Obituaries and so on. You could have put this under that heading, making it the first contribution there since 2021.
That’s fascinating.
Blorum Simulator: “Within minutes I felt part of the gang”
All the fun of engaging with like-minded cronies, as you bant and blether, comparing lists and rankings, with even the roller coaster of negotiating flounces and tumbleweed. All from your own P.C. as you while out those long years of solitude and ignominy.
“It made me feel I had friends”
“Being a hermit never felt so good”
Record Collecting Simulator.
You tour around charity shops, boot fairs, record fairs, trendy emporia and dingy back-street dives, picking up rarities as your available funds deplete.
You can gain extra record-purchasing funds by selling desirable acquisitions at a profit to other players.
In order for items to be saleable, your rarities portfolio must be accurately catalogued, of course.
This actually sounds pretty good.
Not forgetting cleaning the years of detritus off the buggers before they will play without skipping. So…
Knosti Disco Antistat simulator. All the fun of wet cleaning without getting your hands wet.
Turntable simulator
In which you are required to either restore older models or upgrade poorer ones. There’s also a pro mode where you can build one from scratch.
Getting A Triple Album To Fit Into A Vinyl LP Cover Simulator.
Gratuitous Sticker Removal From A Matt Finish LP Cover Simulator.
Training level involves removing the “£3.99 Bargain” sticker in flourescent orange from the cover of an otherwise pristine original copy of Obscured By Clouds.
I see this one flying from the shelves. Talking of price stickers, my pal at HMV used to give me special offer low price stickers to stick on my full price albums so I could smuggle them past my wife. I did buy a lot of albums.
Extra points for removing the Warner Brothers black exclamation mark on a yellow circle without ripping the shiny plastic coating from the record sleeve.
Ooh, that blow that landed right there. I’m now in the foetal position and rocking gently from side to side.
Record filing system simulator. Negotiate the twists and turns of alphabetical filing versus chronological. The aim is to file all your vinyl and CD albums in the perfect sequence while dealing with the curveballs of cassettes, 8 track cartridges and mini discs which the simulator will introduce in order to thwart your attempts. The aim is to complete filing before being suffocated by an avalanche of discarded jewel cases.
Or how about grammar pedant simulator? Decide how to structure the perfect sentence from a series of random words and punctuation marks. Sentences which make some sort of sense will score highest. The aim is to avoid a misplaced Oxford comma, which will lead to self-destruction.
You were going so well until your second para, where I’m afraid I blacked out.
I’m not sure that comma is necessary. Oh no….🔥💥☄️
Somebody rang? Yes, that comma is necessary. If you leave it out it implies that Saucepot blacked out in the first para too.
Something to do with the difference between a comma introducing a clause and a comma separating items in a list, is it?