A propos the Van Morrison shoeing today, it struck me that contributors recommending a CD length’s list of an artist or band’s worst might be an interesting experiment. Sharpen those pens.
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I think you have to specify that these are otherwise good artists. Limiting the malodorous output of, say, Daniel O’Donnell to one CD* is an unreasonable request.
(*or, in this case, one shelf of CDs)
Quite right, Moosey. This needed to be said, and you said it well. Pointless listing Shed Seven’s worst albums. Or songs. Or whatever this post’s about.
We wouldn’t want to be doing anything pointless, or wasting our time.
This is just the sort of pointless comment we need to be on our guard against.
As is this.
Appropriately for this thread, I am determined to plumb the very depths of fatuity with my comments here.
Even more so than usual.
The problem, as I see it, is that post is not drafted sufficiently tightly to encourage appropriate response. The word “compilations” appears in the title, suggesting we should put forward low quality compilations of an artist’s work, yet the body of the post has it thusly:
“CD length’s list of an artist or band’s worst” which leads us to think that we much each of us come up with a list of shite songs by an artist or or band that would last seventy minutes. This seems both unreasonable and onerous. Can we not stick to the original idea of posting crap compilations, saving us the work?
The problem for me is that we might well have different ideas of what constitutes crap songs and be unable to reach a consensus on shite tuneage even by specific artists: subsequent disagreement may lead to tension, discomfort, bleeding, swelling and iration in the nation.
You have been warned:
‘These are the first signs of sonic attack: You will notice small objects, such as ornaments, oscillating. You will notice vibrations in your diaphragm. You will hear a distant hissing in your ears. You will feel dizzy. You will feel the need to vomit. There will be bleeding from orifices. There will be an ache in the pelvic region. You may be subject to fits of hysterical shouting or even laughter. These are all signs of imminent sonic destruction.’
Do not panic.
My nick-nacks are oscillating already.
Have you been borrowing Mrs M’s (Mrs MtM?) ‘muscle massager’ again?
I asked, but apparently he’s busy.
Oho!
Big Jim Slade! Although he’d be a bit old for that now.
Shite Tuneage TMFTL
“Fatuity” is right. What a thread. The Laughing Gnome, Octopus’s Garden, oh you don’t fucking say. The contrarian radicalism here is terrifying, it’s like an entirely new system of thought is being forged before our eyes.
I’m being SARCASTIC
Next up: Ed Sheeran isn’t as good as Bob Dylan
Are you, Moose? Are you really?
Yes.
Yes…. or no.
Hang on, I’ve forgotten how to do this.
…hmm, where’ve I said that before?
I suspect a Beatles’ compilation of this sort would just include all the songs – because their appeal is universal – that are pitched at girls, toddlers, the elderly or are covers!
Cue:
‘P.S. I Love You’
‘Yellow Submarine’
‘When I’m 64’
‘Goodnight’
‘Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da’
‘Thank You Girl’
‘Bad Boy’
‘Honey Don’t’
‘Your Mother Should Know’
‘All Together Now’
Actually, I’d buy that comp. long before I’d buy any proper comp. by someone else.
Come on Apple, you know it makes sense!
Could always stick Revolution 9 in there just to disorientate the comfy listening experience
There are quite a few from the White Album to add to that compilation: Rocky Raccoon, Bungalow Bill, Why Don’t We Do It In The Road?, the aforementioned Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da. . .
When we did the White Album podcast I suggested we decide a running order with just the crap tracks called The Shite Album.
Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da – a single outside the U.K. – is always the one that gets the most flak.
I wonder why sooooo many black acts covered it in the immediate years after its release? It’s a mystery for sure!
Here it is!
A Beginning 0:50
Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da (take 5) 2:52
Yer Blues 4:01
Piggies 2:03
Rocky Racoon 3:33
Don’t Pass Me By 3:51
What’s The New Mary Jane (take 4) 6:12
Martha My Dear 2:28
The Continuing Story Of Bungalow Bill 3:14
Helter Skelter (take 2, edited) 4:38
Not Guilty (take 102) 4:28
Wild Honey Pie 0:52
Revolution 9 8:22
You guys must own a couple of those rare pressings of The White Album that don’t feature Glass Onion.
Nothing wrong with Glass Onion!
Or most of those other tracks. Martha My Dear, glorious!
Absolutely. One of my favourite Beatles songs.
I wouldn’t consider any album made in the last half-a-century to be better than that alternate White Album, and I naturally steer towards the Beatlemania years.
Doesn’t stop it being The Shite Album
https://falsememoryfoam.blogspot.com/2021/06/beatlemania-dept-thirty-shades-of-gray.html
Very nice.
I do think The Shite Album has a much better ring to it than Thirty Shades Of Gray.
Brilliant!
I’m going to see if it possibe to do this for Take That:
– Rule The World
– The Flood
– Never Forget
– Patience
– Greatest Day
– Back For Good
– Shine
– Pray
– This Life
– Windows
Surprisingly easy. Take That are top quality pop.
So… you’re saying that these are their worst songs? Hashtag confused.
I didnt read the thread.
These are all genuinely great. I’ll hang my head in shame (but possibly go and start a new thread of top dollar songs from not cool bands).
Progress is a top album, can’t say I’ve much time for the earlier singles.
I’m guessing ‘Mirror Mirror’ will be featured?
There are not 10 top Dollar songs.
Sadly I only know one of those songs Back for good and it is shite. It surely can’t be possible to have a compilation of one shite song?
Rule The World and The Flood are at Bee Gee levels of pop perfection. Give ‘em a go.
Whatever you think of Take That, I can’t recall a band they’ve reformed and been miles better than their original incarnation. Back for Good – from the original five – is great, in my opinion, by the way!
Yes have form:
Circus of Heaven
Heaven and earth
Open your eyes
Holy Lamb
Wondrous Stories
Arriving UFO
Abeline
Saving my Heart
Angkor Watt
Love Conquers Apl.
This could easily be a double album.
No arguments from me…
Maybe, just maybe you could save Arriving UFO – but it would need a remix wash ‘n’ brush-up, much like the rest of the Tormato album.
Easy to replace that with another useless cut. Anything from “union”, pretty much, for example.
I say, well done old chap – double thumbs-up emoji from me! Tempting to just present the entire Union album as the example for this thread…
Tales from Topographic Oceans was a double album and was also shite.
That means they could have two shite albums in the chart of shite.
They are running away with this.
In the words of dai – absolute bollocks! TFTO is one of their best, and I’m aware of their, erm, misdeeds (see above).
LEAVE TOPOGRAPHIC OCEANS ALOOOONE!!!!
Good point, well made…
You’ll note the comment was from SteveT, currently neck-and-neck with Lodestone for the coveted #3 placing in the Worst Taste Stakes. Dai is ahead of the pack, Gar close behind, but it’s the battle for third that’s gripping the crowd.
I was commenting on YOUR comment, HP – heartfelt, clearly…the extra ‘o’s in “aloooone” said it all…
I knew that – I was agreeing with you (CAUTION: entering Afterword Recursive Loop).
We can’t just have the same things being repeated endlessly on the Afterword. We can’t just have the same things being repeated endlessly on the Afterword. We can’t just have the same things being repeated endlessly on the Afterword. We can’t just have the same things being repeated endlessly on the Afterword. We can’t just have the same things being repeated endlessly on the Afterword. We can’t just have the same things being repeated endlessly on the Afterword. We can’t just have the same things being repeated endlessly on the Afterword. We can’t just have the same things being repeated endlessly on the Afterword. We can’t just have the same things being repeated endlessly on the Afterword. We can’t just have the same things being repeated endlessly on the Afterword.We can’t just have the same things being repeated endlessly on the Afterword.We can’t just have the same things being repeated endlessly on the Afterword.We can’t just have the same things being repeated endlessly on the Afterword. We can’t just have the same things being repeated endlessly on the Afterword. We can’t just have the same things being repeated endlessly on the Afterword. We can’t just have the same things being repeated endlessly on the Afterword. We can’t just have the same things being repeated endlessly on the Afterword. We can’t just have the same things being repeated endlessly on the Afterword. We can’t just have the same things being repeated endlessly on the Afterword. We can’t just have the same things being repeated endlessly on the Afterword. We can’t just have the same things being repeated endlessly on the Afterword.
I mean we can’t. The typing is simply exhausting
On mature reflection, Moosey, I think Dai has a point in that our puckish sense of humour sometimes compromises the lofty, academic tone of this august forum.
Puckish or twattish?
@fiierstoke horses for courses. I saw them play it live start to finish and I still have the scars. It was the end of my love affair with them after loving The Yes album, Fragile and Close to the edge.
Bombastic nonsense devoid of any tunes. Definitely qualifies for a shite album chart.
As you say – horses for courses…each to their own, etc, etc.
But obviously you’re wrong, wrong, wrongity wrong.
I would also say he’s wrong but only because Close to the Edge is crap as well. I can still remember an old friend of mine regularly playing it to me to try and prove the error of my ways.
I’m shocked…and stunned…
…but mostly shocked…
Well as long as it hasn’t sent you over the edge…
Arf!
Wait a goddam minute here … who’s the fit bint in your icon?
Arf again!
You have just summed up my feelings perfectly @SteveT.
@Fittterstoke is gong to hate me!!
I went into that Tobergraphic Gig at the Rainbow Theatre in Finsbury Park that evening as a hardcore Yesman.
I departed as a Yes-terday Fan.
It was like going to a party with a girlfriend and suddenly realising, to my total horror, how horrifically pretentious, superficial, humourless and self-righteous she was.
Oh, go on, KFD – tell us what you really think…
There was a “Time Machine” thread, premise was if you could go back in time and see any gig/tour, which would it be?
If memory serves, I chose this tour…
ETA – found it!
I knew a girl like this.
Erm … point of order … the title of that Yes song is “Wonderous Stories”, with an ‘e’ in the middle of Wonderous, and not “Wondrous Stories”.
You might quite reasonably object to this, pointing out that ‘wondrous’ is a proper word, whereas ‘wonderous’ isn’t, but Jon Anderson was most insistent on having the ‘e’ in the middle.
Erm … that’s it.
Is that because he was born Jon Andrson?
“You might quite reasonably object to this” – this is true, and not just to the title.
It’s because he was Bjorn Andersson.
Radiohead – 12 Tracks of Whack (yourself around the gills with a breezeblock):
Eeny
Airbag
Paranoid Android
Subterranean Homesick Alien
Meeny
Exit Music (For A Film)
Let Down
Karma Police
Miney
Fitter Happier
Electioneering
Climbing Up The Walls
No Surprises
Mo
Lucky
The Tourist
Absolute bollocks
I said this would happen.
IRATION
Isn’t it just? Painfully so.
New vinyl edition has dropped:
The dub version is better, and it’s even got a grammatically correct title.
“An Hour Of Infantile Wailing (at the grass roots of blub)”
That’s the Greensleeves title. It was originally called “Babies Dem Cry”
Subtitled “Mum & Dad fret and curse”. Hence the sticker.
That baby was on my flight back from Doha and it was 6 hours not one. Unfortunately they don’t allow firearms on flights these days.
Or possibly on my six hour flight to Delhi.
How do you manage a six hour flight? I’ve decided I’m never going to take another long haul flight again. For one thing, what does the word “haul” have to do with anything? But more importantly, I can’t just sit in the same place for six hours. That’s about three hours too many. Sitting in the same place for 6 hours is just too depressingly boring to contemplate. I’d rather never visit Dehli and check it out on my computer’s internet instead. Lodestone was banging on earlier about his need to move around a bit every now and then to avoid thrombosis, and he’s quite Right.
Yeah. Trumpeters are bad enough.
….what?
Not expecting to see you in Oz any time soon then @gary. I manage a 14-hour flight followed a few hours later by an 8-hour flight at least twice a year. It’s ok, especially in business class hem hem. My babe-magnet support hose and a regular toddle round the plane see me right. And some sleep.
I dunno how you do it, Mike. I’d love to go to Australia, I have a good friend in Freemantle, but the flight puts me off far more than anything else (like snakes, spiders, mad birds etc).
If you lived in London you could fly direct to Perth. A mere 18 hours…
To be fair, I’m not a Radiohead fan ( I probably should be) but pretty much like all of those!
It’s a fucking masterpiece
You really are trying to oust Gary as the Worst Taste Arbiter of the Afterword, aren’t you? I think anyone who wants the job that badly should have it – here’s your sash!
Who gives a fuck what you think?
You seem to be on a quest to post nonsense on every thread ever created here. Take a break
Dai, has anyone ever said anything along the lines of “Jings, Dai, you’re hard work”?
“a quest to post nonsense on every thread ever created here” – Jesus, what a stupid waste of time that would be
…er….
Seriously though but Moosey – how would you rate the individual tracks on Beatles For Sale? You could give, say, ten points for your favourite, and then … oh. hang on …
So says someone who has never driven up the A1 on a foggy Sunday morning to Peterborough. Does Oxfordshire have an equivalent of P’boro?
Peterborough sits in the old gum tree, doesn’t it?
It’s been a while since I updated satnav
I think Banbury is Oxfordshire’s Peterborough
Good game! Ashford is Kent’s Peterborough.
The Jam – come at me.
Very consistent catalogue. Covers excluded ( a lot of their weaker album tracks viz Heatwave, In the Midnight Hour). Can come up with eleven.
Non-Stop Dancing
London Girl
London Traffic
Tonight at Noon
English Rose (have written about how this was left off the track listings of All Mod Cons for good reasons!)
Smithers-Jones (controversial, the combination of lyrics and tune always grated with me as trying to hard, but I know is rated as Foxton’s best)
Music for the Last Couple
Trans-Global Express
The Planner’s Dream Goes Wrong
Pop Art Poem
Shopping
London Girl and London Traffic: agreed
Trans-Global Express: always skip that one
Pop Art Poem: Pop Art Pointless
Shopping: Must Try Harder
Consider also (and this is personal choice): Precious. Better than Trans-Global Express, but only just
Smithers-Jones, deffo controversial!
The Church.
Maybe these boys.
Maybe these boys.
Maybe these boys.
Maybe these boys.
Maybe these boys.
Maybe these boys.
Maybe these boys.
Maybe these boys.
Maybe these boys.
Maybe these boys.
If someone were to attempt a Bowie list, they would probably just say: Tin Machine.
Wrong – I like that album (and about half of Tin Machine II as well)
You could make a pretty shit hot album with tracks from Tin Machines I and II.
For a Bowie bores disc I would chuck in most of Tonight, Never Let Me Down, Hours and side 2 of Lets Dance. Make that a Bowie bores box set maybe
Let’s pop in half of Reality too
They would also say that we were too young. That our kind of love was no fun. But our love comes from above.
Oasis Smelly List
(one from each album)
Married With Children (I like it, but I had to pick 1 from Definitely Maybe, and this one was chosen)
She’s Electric
Magic Pie
Little James
Hung In A Bad Place
It’s at this point when restricting yourself to one track per album just does not convey the rot setting in just after Heathen Chemistry (or indeed through that album)
A Bell Will Ring
Part of the Queue
Turn Up The Sun
Mucky Fingers
Bag It Up
Waiting For The Rapture
(Get Off Your) High Horse Lady
To Be Where There’s Life
Nature Of Reality …
basically the whole of Dig Out Your Soul (only The Shock Of The Lightning and I’m Outta Time get a pass)
I was going to do New Order, but it would be easier to say “anything released after 1993 except for…”
Ditto The Cure. Apart from a couple of live albums, has Robert Smith and his chums released anything worthwhile in 30 years? Four studio albums and each so forgettable I had to look it up. Still great live, though.
Didn’t we just used to have a thing called “singles artists”? I mean, for example, any of the dozen or so versions of Blondie’s greatest hits would be immense, but I could happily live without any of their albums – yes, Parallel Lines too..
See also: The Undertones.
See also: Tintern Abbey.
Arf! And, peradventure, Dantalian’s Chariot
The first Undertones album is an absolute belter.
Second release is none too shabby
Absolutely both are brilliant through and through
I have them all, but in true Partridge style, the best of the Undertones is either of the singles compilations.
Kate Bush (not counting the Director’s Cut album):
Heads We’re Dancing
Reaching Out
Why Should I Love You
Be Kind To My Mistakes
Walk Straight Down The Middle
I’m Still Waiting
Ken
Candle in the Wind
Rocket Man
Sexual Healing
Burning Bridge
Wuthering Heights (new vocal version)
Joanni
You Want Alchemy
Show A Little Devotion
I love WSILY and WH (New Vocal). Rocket Man is kinda quirky in a good way, and Ken is obviously an outlier.
I take it The Other sides doesn’t get much airplay at Casa Oldfieldian 😉
I think you’re being a bit kind to the early stuff. I’d have Violin and The Wedding Present in there. I also think Between a Man and a Woman may be the worst thing she’s ever done.
And surely 50 Words for Snow needs to be in there!
I’d add December Will Be Magic Again. I don’t think I’ve ever managed to get to the end of this Xmas offering from Kate.
50 Words is a very specific mood piece, but when it hits at the right time in the right context, it’s glorious.
Yes, you’re right that I’m being kind to the early songs. Some of her stuff is both glorious and very silly, and in fairness I love all of it but I guess with KB ‘weak’ is a relative term. Others could come up with a completely different list, which is the joy of this.
Very well curated!
This thread has to be proof (if proof were needed) that taste really is very subjective indeed.
Looking at Kate’s songs alone, among those being criticised above I think Heads We’re Dancing is the second best thing on The Sensual World (after This Woman’s Work), and December… is one of my favourite festive tunes. Ken is a fun bit of nonsense that whizzes along, and 50 Words definitely has its moments, even if it’s all a bit samey.
I’ll give you Walk Straight Down the Middle though – that’s eminently skippable.
What about that one where she sings about a washing machine, shouldn’t that be on the list as well?
Never!
No. It’s genius.
I was thinking about how to go about doing one for Zappa. Even if you limit it to records released in his lifetime, it’s still over 50 albums.
Then I saw the tracklist to “Have I Offended Someone?” Take off Valley Girl and this is a pretty decent attempt at a Worst Of. Just needs more Flo and Eddie.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Have_I_Offended_Someone%3F
I make it 55 albums in his lifetime and several of those were multi-disc releases. I think we could do much worse than that, with a little effort.
Pick anything at all from “Francesco Zappa”, cause it’s all boring as hell and sounds dreadful too. A lazier person than myself could just nominate this album and be done with it.
Title track from “Apostrophe(‘)”. A rather lumpen jam. Filler.
There’s sure to be something on the “Shut Up And Play Yer Guitar” set that’d fit the bill.
Ditto the “Guitar” set. Plenty of pointless noodling on these two sets.
“Bamboozled By Love”.
“Honey, Don’t You Want A Man Like Me?”.
“We’re Turning Again”.
“Lonesome Cowboy Burt”.
“Little Rubber Girl”
“Stevie’s Spanking”.
“Truck Driver Divorce”.
“Ride My Face To Chicago”.
I’m guessing that you prefer “Zappa humour” to “Zappa noodling”, Mike.
Too much noodling, you’re right. There are some absolutely stunning instrumental compositions/performances to be found though.
Some of his lowest-common-denominator bozo-pleaser humour stuff, particularly in the late ’70s and early ’80s, is rather skippable, I think. And I say this as a borderline Zappa completist/obsessive.
I like the knob joke songs. But “0n Ton won” was taking the piss. And that’s on “Thingfish”, arguably suitable here.
Context is everything: if you’re sitting through 200 Motels in its entirety, Lonesome Cowboy Burt seems like a masterpiece.
I had an idea for a Bowie one a few years ago called “Howlers” – which had the “Heroes” cover but with him wearing a gas mask and his palms faced upwards. Suggested tracklist:
God Only Knows
The Laughing Gnome
Magic Dance
Ricochet
Day In Day Out
Fame 90
Tonight
That’s Motivation!
Dancing in the Street
‘That’s Motivation!’ having the added bonus of being in the worst film ever made.
Good work, Sainted Dave, can’t say S.D. did things by half.
Indeed the worst moment in that film, and I can date my suspicions about the Great Chameleon from seeing that scene in the cinema. The song, the dancing, the bloody typewriter, the cheeky grin at the end. Dreadful, dreadful.
It wasn’t a documentary, y’know.
Iggy’s version of “Tonight” is pretty good, though.
Macca’s “political” EP
1 Give Ireland Back to the Irish
2 Big Boys Bickering
3 Freedom
4 Give Ireland Back to the Irish (version)
Shudder
You could add the »Dig no Pakistanies« version of »Get Back«… or indeed, the German version (»Geh raus aus deinem Haus«) for comedy effect.
I’m aware there are plenty here who would say the worst of Queen is all of Queen, but these are the real stinkers …
Jesus
Bring Back That Leroy Brown
Get Down Make Love
Fun It
Don’t Try Suicide
Cool Cat
Machines (Or Back to Humans)
One Year of Love
Rain Must Fall
My Baby Does Me
Body Language didn’t make the cut?
Body Language and Staying Power have grown on me after the initial shock of hearing them.
Oh shit, just noticed I’ve left off I’m in Love With My Car. That can be the bonus track.
I like both Body Language and Staying Power. The problem with Hot Space isn’t really the Funk tracks – they at least have a bit of life to them – it’s the dull rock tracks. Calling all Girls, Put out the Fire, Action this Day. Going through the motions.
Ok , Dylan from official albums.
Woogie Boogie
Wiggle Wiggle
Union Sundown
Neighbourhood Bully
Ugliest Girl In The World
Silvio
Rainy Day Women
Motorpsycho Nightmare
Man Gave Names To All the Animals
Lenny Bruce
Handy Dandy
I’m no Dylan fan, mostly can’t stand his records, but I’m rather fond of Man Gave Names To All The Animals. Its lyrics are ridiculously stupid, but I like it musically and the last verse, the fact that he doesn’t say “think I’ll call it a snake”, always makes me smile.
I find it twee. I know he kept it up n coz he played it to a ten year old and he liked it but against the pantheon …
I don’t follow this too closely, but didn’t ‘Silvio’ turn up at every single Dylan show for years? Is it great to play or something? It sure isn’t great to listen to.
I’ve been holding this in for years but, pre-Covid, I read that our little song thrush Madonna liked ‘Lay Lady Lay’. Yikes. That’s a difficult thing to forget.
So, given the above list, the Dylan L.P. of choice is no longer – swerving, of course, anything that may have recently ‘ dropped’ or falls within an ‘Imperial Phase’ – ‘Nashville Skyline’, but ‘Another Side of Bob Dylan’… not least for the fantastic ‘Motorpsycho Nitemare’.
This is why I come back so often to the Afterword, to straighten these tiresome little things out!
Yeah a straight ahead rocker. I don’t know, maybe good to blow out the cobwebs or something. But it was the bane of most hard core fans.
Would you yell at me if I said I’d have Ballad of a Thin Man in there?
You’re a cowww!
Depeche Mode tracks to swerve:
Hole to Feed
Macro
Goodnight Lovers
The Worst Crime
Should be Higher
Fragile Tension
Soothe my Soul
Freelove
Miles Away
I have grown to love the early binky bonk songs, even The Meaning of Love.
“Binky bonk songs”…excellent!
My list would include most, if not all, of Exciter. It would have been a much better album if it had more binky bonk and it bit less mid-tempo-groove-that-doesn’t-really-go-anywhere-over-quiet-electronica-ing.
Also, Boys Say Go and Nodisco. A double bill to forget.
I would have agreed a few years ago but I love all of Speak and Spell now.
Exciter has The Sweetest Condition which I really, really like – as well a few of the other songs on there. I think Delta Machine is the ho-hum plodder LP.
Your adoration for this bunch of adenoidal milquetoasts is baffling to the point of eccentricity. But just stops short.
“Prophets are always thrown out of their home countries. You English are in no position to understand the greatness of Depeche Mode”
Great exercise this. Need to know their catalogue well enough to be confident in your choices, though of course it’s all subjective. Here’s my worse of The Clash – again no covers. You could just pick 12 off Sandanista! and whittle it down to a double but I’ve tried a career spanning worst-of retrospective. Stops after Combat rock, as again like NO or The Cure you could have the whole of the last album. Sandanista is still half the count.
Protex Blue
The Card Cheat
Something About England
Rebel Waltz
Midnight Log
Lose This Skin
Shepherds Delight
Career Opportunities (kids sing version)
Should I Stay or Should I Go (controversial, always disliked it)
Sean Flynn
First Night Back In London
I was about to post that! I always thought “English Civil War” was a lazy and weak exercise fortelling The Clash’s glibber side.
No! Some of my favourites on there –
* The Card Cheat – love those verses – poetry in Strummer’s voice
To the opium dens and the barroom gin in the Belmont chair playing violin, the gambler’s face cracks into a grin as he lays down the king of spades
* Rebel Waltz – love the opening solo and the whole dreamlike thing is a cousin to Golden Brown and PWEI’s Evelyn. How many waltzes are there in pop? To be treasured
* Midnight Log – great pitter patter drumming
* Lose This Skin – that violin, that sneering voice
* Sean Flynn – such space, echoey dubby feel. Completely suits the album it’s on.
Here would be mine:
The Clash: Protex Blue, 48 Hrs – too shouty. the other songs have real substance
Give ’em Enough Rope: English Civil War, Tommy Gun – at least, a cartoon punk album
London Calling: Hateful – only. Everything else is essential
Sandinista: Hitsville UK, Ivan Meets GI Joe, Career Opportunities (kids sing version), Shepherds Delight – everything else works, for me.
Combat Rock: Know Your Rights. The singles aren’t great, but once they’re through, the album is a gem
That’s my bottom 10
I’m going to swap out Card Cheat for English Civil War. Otherwise I rest content.
Lose That Skin – that violin. Indeed. One man’s violin is another man’s violence.
You prefer the preachy Know Your Rights to the sublime Sean Flynn? GI Joe (the cartoon is better than the song) to Rebel Waltz? Your loss.
And I like the blackboard scrape of Tymon Dog – bracing like an English seaside.
Totes with you on Sean Flynn, Sal. One of their best and beautifully atmospheric.
Hitsville!! Madness!
I’ve always liked you Sal, but Tommy Gun?! Not only does it groove along like a mofo, it has the best ending – and this has been tested by research – of all their canon. Come along, you know I’m right.
Generally liking the fact that people are far more worked up about Sean Flynn than Should I Stay… being in the dirty dozen.
Tommy Gun has the best ending of all their songs … apart from Safe European Home
I avoided The Clash for many years because I’d heard “Tommy Gun” on the radio and HATED it passionately (still do).
Then I bought Sandinista! on a whim, and once I figured out to stay away from Side One and Side Six, I fell in love with the band.
Just for you, and Moseley, MC, I’m listening to Give ‘Em Enough Rope in its entirety – something I haven’t consciously done since I was 16. My last favourite Clash album, I skimmed through the album this afternoon just to briefly stir the old Proustian Pavlovian response.
Safe European Home has a great loose-limbed, double vocal second half. Good to hear Mick.
English Civil War is an awful rip off of a children’s marching song.
Tommy Gun has good drumming, but lousy lyrics and trite, tiddly pom melody. And it just ends. Nothing special.
Julie’s In the Drug Squad – early expression of their conversational style, and breaking free from punk riffs. Quite adventurous, though I wouldn’t care if I never heard it again.
Last Gang in Town. Ooh! Snarly! Waiting for the chorus, for like, ever. Also, for the song to end.
Guns on the Roof. This is another one where Joe just reads a legal text then calls out guns, guns.
Drug-stabbing Time. Gets straight to the chorus, and then again and again. Is that a saxophone I can hear?
Stay Free – best song, so far
Cheapskates – almost as good.
All The Young Punks – nice to end with a hat trick of decent songs.
So, 4 out of 10 from me, recognizing how many of the songs I rated. So, still my second last favourite Clash album.
Exactly. Which made “London Calling” all the better.
London Calling had ONE great song on it. ONE. Which, to be fair, is more than The Shite Album had.
Hohoho! HP likes a punk rock record! Punky Saucecraft with his spiky hair and his safety pins pogoing and sniffing glue and whatnot! I am mostly amuse.
spellcheck alert! I meant least – least favourite album (second least if you count the Jones-less one). I might as well rank them now – from top to bottom
London Calling
Combat Rock
Sandinista
The Clash
Give ‘Em Enough Rope
(Cut The Crap)
I’d vote for:
Sandinista! – one of my favourite albums by anyone, ever
Super Black Market Clash
London Calling
Combat Rock
The Clash (US version)
Give ’em Enough Rope
The Clash (UK version)
I’ve never heard Cut the Crap, but I’m assuming that it’s shite
I’ve never heard Super Black Market Clash, nor the US Clash album – something to remedy, possibly.
My top three albums are all quite close – though London Calling was my first Clash listen, so has a special place in my heart. I’m listening to Rat Patrol from Fort Bragg at the moment, which gives an interesting slant on Combat Rock – looking forward to Sean Flynn. Even the version of Know Your Rights is more entertaining.
Super Black Market Clash, a CD expansion of the original 10″ vinyl, is a great B-sides, rarities, 12″ versions collection.
Generally agree with your drift here. During one of my regular “I never choose to listen to this LP and skip most tracks when it comes on Shuffle” clearouts I binned all but the first three songs and Stay Free. I’m hard as nails, me.
But you’re still wrong about Tommy Gun.
The whole album is great and their best. So there.
I think that GEUR is their most cliched album lyric-wise. Too much empty sloganeering. However, the tunes within their initial punk template are pretty good. London Calling’s not just a huge leap forwards musically, it’s way more varied lyrically too.
Genesis thoughtfully did our work for us. The album in question is Calling All Stations
There’s got to be room on that album for Illegal Alien and Everything She Does, just for a kick-off.
I was pondering this in my Indochine hotel room in the small hours. It went something like “Harold the Barrel? Get ’em out by Friday? In the Rapids? Oh yeah, the whole of Calling All Stations. Case closed.”
Oh, come on now, Mr Cat. Harold the Barrel and Get ’em Out By Friday aren’t too bad….
No, we want some stuff from “And Then There Were Three” on the Stinkers CD. The prime candidates are “Ballad of Big”, “Scenes from a Night’s Dream” and “The Lady Lies”.
And maybe we could chuck in “All in a Mouse’s Night” off “Wind & Wuthering” while we’re at it!
You’d need to add Whodunnit
I think we can tack one or two extra tracks on to the end of Calling All Stations and still fit the whole thing on a single CD. In which case we have to include Firth of Fifth from Live over Europe 2007 simply because of the butchering of the guitar parts by Daryl Stuermer.
“Afterglow”, “Follow You, Follow Me”, and “You’re own Special Way”, too. All sappy ballads designed to appeal to the bored girlfriends in the audience. Leave this to the experts, mate: Barry White, and The Stylistics. Genesis were not up to it.
Phil Collins likes to say Wayne Shorter and Joe Zawinul commended FYFM.
MY ARSE.
They might have commended PC’s drumming on Brand X or Jon Martyn’s work, though.
Yes, I’ll give you Scenes from a Night’s Dream and All in a Mouse’s Night (and Whodunit, mentioned elsewhere), but after my early youthful fandom, I found Get em Out palled. Too much stopstart and complication; not enough flow; not enough melody. Ballad of Epping Forest suffers likewise.
Stinker albums – Iron Maiden managed 2 (X Factor and Virtual XI), both with Blaze Bayley on vocal duties. Coincidence?
(note: I actually rated Blaze’s vocals in Wolfsbane (there’s a sentence you’ll not read everyday), he just din’t fit with Iron Maiden)
To be fair to Mr B (I don’t know why I’m defending him, but here we are), I imagine it must be very difficult indeed to replace a long-serving vocalist. For a certain section of your audience, nothing you do will ever be good enough. And given how passionate Maiden fans are, he must have had his work cut out from day one.
That said, he does do a pretty good job on Sign of the Cross. But I’m sure millions of Maiden fans breathed a sigh of relief when Bruce returned. He always will be *the* voice of the Irons.
What’s he got to do with Scunthorpe United…?
Ladies and Gentlemen – The Grateful Dead
Some real stinkers for your delectation:
Sand Castles & Glass Camels/ Unusual Occurrences in the Desert
Sunrise
From the Heart of me
Far from me
Easy to Love You
Blow Away
Victim or the Crime
We Can run
Picasso Moon
Keep Your Day Job (a notorious stinker, this)
I will Take You Home
Samba in the Rain
Way to Go Home
Easy Answers
Let Me Sing Your Blues Away
Hell in a Bucket
Corinna
Saint of Circumstance
Please don’t mention this heretical list to anyone on the Steve Hoffman Forum, or I shall be drummed out of the Deadheads Society…
Don’t look back. You can never look back.
If Corinna is the traditional number how can that be bad ?
I’m surprised no one seems to have had a go at the Beach Boys or the Stones in this thread (unless I’ve missed them in the 190 odd comments – sorry if I have!). Perhaps they are just too easy – one could argue that they virtually did this themselves in later years, so I will try to pick them from albums which are generally rated at or above ‘not dreadful’.
60s Beach Boys
The Rocking Surfer – on Surfer Girl, this is after the Surfer Moon and South Bay Surfer, another (poor) song featuring ‘Surfer’ is one too many at least, especially as it is followed by the brilliant Little Deuce Coup and In My Room.
Cassius Love vs Sonny Wilson – on Shut Down Vol. 2 for some unaccountable reason they thought this was funny, like…
Our Favourite Recording Sessions on All Summer Long. This is like shooting fish in a barrel.
Bull Session With the Big Daddy – enough already. This is on the otherwise fantastic Today!
I’m Bugged At My Old Old Man – Summer Days and Summer Nights is a wonderful album, except for this.
The Times They Are A’Changin’ – in amongst the fake jollity of Party! there are some nice doo-wop vocals and it’s actually a fun, if dated, listen, except for this attempt at, possibly, contemporary relevance, or more likely a piss take – it has giggly girls in the background and much hilarity ensuing. Dreadful. There are outtakes from these sessions of Blowing in the Wind and She Belongs to Me too.
She’s Going Bald – the performance is actually quite good at the start, but the lyrics and the second half of the track are bonkers. This is on the same album as Good Vibrations FFS, as is..
Little Pad – an inconsequential sketch of a track
Getting Hungry – Smiley Smile really is a curate’s egg. This is another pointless filler track.
A Thing or Two – Wild Honey is an OK album…with this exception. Even the title is rubbish.
Diamond Head – nearly at the end of Friends, which is good, and then they this stick in this clinker of an instrumental….and then you get..
Transcendental Meditation – cosmic.
I did try to include a Pet Sounds track, but I really couldn’t!