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Art for heart’s sake: music, films, books etc to help keep the Chubby Checkers motivated

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We must surely have done this before and no doubt my starting suggestions contain some evergreens. In my defence, I cite poor short-term memory and a total disinclination to search the site.

I was going to suggest Art which would uplift and inspire the CCs, but then thought this would be dull, worthy, and lacking that all-important punular potential. So I’ve opted for the time-proven motivators of Mockery, Shame, and Guilt.

Of course, this is all meant in a loving and supportive way. *insert earnest and sincere SJW emoji*

So here goes:

– There Is A Fridgelight That Never Goes Out
– Hey Lard, Don’t Ask Me Questions
– Porklife
– Bingo Wings Of A Dove
– Angel Delight Eyes
– The Waist Band (ooh bidda poetry, very classy)
– Shallow Gravy

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Comments

    • Blimey Ruby you’re making fantastic early progress! [freeze-frame at 1.09, send to 3D printer]

      Apropos of absolutely nothing at all, what’s the date of the next Mingle near you? I really ought to finally get myself along to one.

      • 😀 I’m getting the retro 80s moves down pat. Feel the burn!

        Next Mingle- not sure; think @Twang and @Hannah et al. would have a better idea….but we could do with something to banish the January blues. 🙂

        We could assess our collective progress over chips and beer. Er…

        • Ah Ruby how lovely and trusting you are – when I was ostensibly innocently asking about the next Mingle I was actually perving you up! Isn’t that right, readers?

          That said, it appears that you’re now inviting me to, uh, “…feel the bum”!! Goodness me. I have to admit that I’m not very “oy vey” with the relaxed social freedoms enjoyed by you fast modern girls, but I instinctively feel that it would be un-gallant not to, so…*breathes on hands*

          • It’s not just you @jeff. That’s how I read it too.

            re next Mingle, nothing planned – always up for it though I have only just recovered from the strain of organising the last one…

            • “…always up for it”????!!!! What is WRONG with you people?? Is this the sort of thing you all get up to at these so-called “Mingles”??

              I suppose you’ll be wanting your bum felt too, then…?

                • Hi @SteveT. Thanks very much for this. I’ve taken the precaution of getting some legal guidance from a mate down the pub who’s a lawyer. Well, he’s as good as, really, because he works in the mailroom of a big conveyancing firm and so reads lawyers’ letters all day and therefore knows how to do all the chat. Below, I’ve reproduced his email to me, in the hope that it will be helpful to all parties:

                  From: dobbsy12@tesco.net

                  Dear Sir Jeff esq

                  Thankyou for your instruction of the 6th Instagram. I have considered all of the FAQs and disgust them with my colleges. We think it unlikly that these Mods will have a go as they wood be to pussy about there Bench Herman shirts to have a proper rumble, but if they do then we would front up with waht we call the “Top Bantz” defence. This is comprised of:

                  1. It was that RabbiBlue what started it, sending you a vid of hot taut glistening babes – that’s what we call entrapment FFS

                  2. Anyway that Moose the Moose (WTF name is that?) has said worser than you on that nerdy site so we would set out to finger him for this ofence. (He won’t be able to resist “finger” heh heh we can do entrapment too see)

                  3. You was ony avin a larf for gods sake

                  4. We’ve seen you play cricket and #youaintnobatsmanbruv ha ha jokes

                  5. Bring it

                  I suggest you post this reply on that nerdy site to giv them Mods a shot across the bowels!!

                  I trust this is sat a factory to you.

                  Your sincerly

                  Trev (Dobbsy)

                  Attorney General

                  Internetloyyers4u

                  PS Thommo said to tell you he’ll be round Thurs bout the gutering ok

                  So the next time any AWs post videos of hot babes I will do what I always do and stick to my briefs

  19. – Baguette Back
    – Rosti Never Sleeps
    – Pop Will Over-eat Itself
    – You’re Gorgin’
    – Puree and Sample
    – Ain’t Nothin’ Goin’ On But The Stent

    • ‘Stiff Little Fish Fingers’ is a beauty.

      ‘Dexy’s Midnight Runner Beans’ is actually quite healthy, which prompts me to suggest:

      – Give Peas A Chance
      – Rocket, man
      – Philadelphia Free-from
      – (You Make Me Feel Like A) Natural Yoghurt

  33. Zep dieting:

    Whole lotta lard
    Black pudding dog
    When the levee breakfasts
    Rock ‘n’ bread roll
    The battle of Evermore burgers
    You shook me flabby belly
    Babe I’m gonna leave you before the chippy shuts
    The lemon curd butty song
    Spotted Moby Dick
    Celebrations Day
    Custard Pie (already there)
    Sick again (ditto)
    Tangerine (ditto)
    the Wan Ton song
    Black Mountain Side order of chips
    Your time is gonna come deep fried with the chips on the side
    Living loving Lyon’s Maid
    I can’t quit you Baby Bel cheese in the nice little wax pod
    Bring it on home from the take away

    • ‘Don’t Bring Me Brown (sauce)’ – well EXACTLY, Uncle, if you’re talking about when one is buying a bacon sarnie in a caff or similar. The number of times I’ve been asked “Red or Brown?”, to which the only possible answer is “F*ck off, do I LOOK mad?”.

      The only lawful recipe for a bacon buttie is:

      – bread (white)
      – butter / spread
      – bacon (back)

    • ‘Satay with me’ is particularly excellent, having a very satisfyingly Club Singer-y feel about it. They’re paid by the consonant, you know?

      (PS: we’d what?)

  51. Radiohead – Crepe

    Dave Clark Five – Pavlova and Over

    Pete Shelley – Hommus Sapien

    Elvis Costello – Jamie Oliver’s Army

    Barry Manilow – Could It Be Cadbury’s Black Magic

    Gerry Rafferty – Baker’s Treat

    John and Livvie – You’re The Bun That I Want

    Uriah Heep – Brie Me

    Or skip the pun(net)s, and go straight for the real thing, courtesy of The Turtles

  52. A Boy Named Souvlaki
    Go Your Own Weight
    Stop Your Blobbing
    Pork Away, Renee
    Live And Let Diet
    Tart For Tart’s Sake
    Chunky Town
    Virginia Plain Or Salted
    I’m Candy, Try Me
    Noodles And Pans
    Deep Fried, eh – I’m In Love
    Flabby Road
    Cholesterol Over, Lay Down
    Carbs And Girls
    Feel Like Makin’ Lunch
    I’m Three Stone In Love With You
    Salad Of A Thin Man
    Pasta La Vista

  54. Madness – Wings of a Dove Bar
    Accadacca’s Back in Black Pudding
    The Ooo’s Baba Ganouj O’Reilly
    U2’s I Still Haven’t Fondue What I’m Looking For
    Garbage – Stupid Grill
    Radiohead – Fritter Happier
    Rockpile – Gooseberry Fool Too Long

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